MIKE-1280 Reviews

The Trust Fall (2023)

A Timely Reminder

[9/10 · 13 March 2024]

There is probably nothing in this film that you don't know from following his story in the press but it does pull it all together and highlights the vindictiveness , spitefulness and underhandedness of the American government secret services (CIA) . It also reveals how subservient many western governments are to the Americans. The contributors to the film are stellar representatives of free journalism and weave a compelling case for ceasing the hounding of Assange.

I agree with the previous review that it was overlong and could have done without the overdone verbiage of the last 10 minutes or so. It is well worth watching though and may leave you concerned for the future of a free press and by extension free and fair governments.

Napoleon (2023)

I had high expectations

[3/10 · 30 November 2023]

The last couple or so of the reviews here echo pretty much my feelings about the film. It is possible to make a long movie that is captivating. The Russo/American War and Peace being a spectacular example at 7 hours , which I sat through in the mid 1960's (split into two sessions). This was not in that league, not even close. It is a bumbling romance with some halfhearted battle scenes thrown in for action. The life of Napoleon was somehow lost in the whole shambles. I'm not even sure if his character was meant to be taken seriously.

My main memory of the afternoon spent watching this is that the theatre was cold, the seat was a little uncomfortable and why did I stay to the end? That about sums up the experience for me. The film itself is very forgettable.

La La Land (2016)

La La La!

[1/10 · 23 February 2019]

When I saw the movie back in 2016 I was really looking forward to the resurgence of great Hollywood musicals. How disappointing can a film be. One of the most forgettable movies let alone musicals. 6 Oscars??? Come on. If it had been Lo Lo London or RoRo Rome would it have had a look in at the La La Oscars . I don't think so. 3 years on I cant remember a single tune, I admit there was a nice one but so utterly forgettable. I certainly wasn't hummin it as I left the theatre. The contrived opening scene with the cars could have been so much better with some original imagination and the only other scene I vaguely remember with the dancing to the stars, I think that is where that vaguely forgettable nice tune was..

Chef (2014)

Overlong and overdone

[2/10 · 17 June 2014]

I found there was not enough content in this film to keep it going for the 2 hours and 9 minutes it dragged on for.

From the start it was fast paced but so much so the characters seemed to talk over each other, or was it the constant loud Latin music which stopped me from hearing much of the dialogue.

And then it flagged for a good half hour or more when nothing much happened, I had a hard time staying awake through this part or was I just trying to avoid the "noise" of the soundtrack and dialogue?

The last part of the movie did get going again but it never really lifted enough to make it worth the effort of staying awake.

Fix the 2 main faults : garbled dialogue and overpowering music, cut a half hour out of the middle and it would probably have been a very passable B grade movie.

Having said all that, my wife really enjoyed it, although she too thought it over long. S there you are

The Impossible (2012)

overemotive direction

[3/10 · 13 February 2013]

The one thing this film really needed was a connection with the family. I just didn't feel it at all. I just didn't care. Someone else who reviewed this film suggested it was 'white-centric' and you could be forgiven for thinking this. Of course if it had been made by thais about thais the audience would be non existent outside asia. As it is they changed the nationality of the original family from Spanish to English probably for the same reason; but we should expect this and go with it.

No, the real problem is I just didn't care about the family, especially the way over the top hysterics of Ewan McGregor. The thing that pulled this movie up from 1 to 3 for me was the children, especially 'Luke'. In a glib by the book TV movie format they were surprisingly natural and Luke was the only actor who showed any real talent and grew with the story.

Overall this was a poor trivialisation of an horrific tragedy.

Les Misérables (2012)

Les Miserables est tres miserable

[1/10 · 8 January 2013]

I don't regret much in my life. I've done lots of things I would rather not have done but at least can say it was an experience and I've learned something.

Last night I watched Les Miserables and it was a dire experience from opening ridiculously over the top scene to the drawn out (for god's sake just die!!) scene at the end. I came out thinking "i've just lost two hours of my life that I'll never get back.

If just one of the actors could sing it would have been some blessed relief but apart from he chorus there wasn't a single a single redeeming voice in the cast. Where is Susan Boyle when you need her ?

From Hugh Jackmans wondering accents to the little boy on the barricades doing his artful dodger impression and Amanda Sefreid warbling like an anaemic canary this "musical" was a travesty.

Surely when you are casting a musical the requisite should be for singers who can maybe act and not actors who think they have a bit of a singing voice in the shower.

Les Mis is my favourite all time musical but no-one in there wildest dreams would consider buying the sound track to this hack job.

To be fair my wife said it was OK but even she got bored towards the end and there were a few boxes of hankies being used around me but it wouldn't do if we were all the same , would it.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

How bad can a film get

[1/10 · 9 May 2004]

Eternal is the length of time this film appears to be. Sunshine is what you will yearn to be in after about 20 minutes. Spotless = brainless. Mind....less is what the film is. To be fair someone had an interesting idea for a story and if a university film club had mad this into a 20 minute short it would have been a good movie. Unfortunately repeating the same thing over and over only highlights the fact that they had nowhere else to go with the story. If , after 20 or 30 minutes into the film, you get the urge to get up and walk out then do it; you won't miss anything. Acting? Can't fault the acting. All the characters were well presented and didn't fluff their lines at all but unfortunately that doesn't help with an endlessly repetetive story where the plot is broadcast fairly early on...or maybe me and my wife just missed something somewhere. I 'enjoyed' Monster and that wasn't an easy film to watch! This film is a monster of the worst kind. 1 out of 10

House of Sand and Fog (2003)

Title must refer to the brain of the director

[1/10 · 11 March 2004]

I went to see this film on the recommendation of several reviews and the word of a friend who had seen it. Did they see the same film that I saw....I dont think so! This film contrives to make us believe that if we pile one act of stupidity onto another in layers to thick to believe then the audience must have some sympathy with at least some of the characters. There is no room for sympathy with any of the characters. The performances of the actors are irrelevent as the storyline is so puerile no amount of acting could make it anything close to believable. Are there people out there that do these kind of things? I fear the answer may be yes but you wouldn't want to know them or even read about them let alone go and see a movie about them. Can I give it 0 out of 10?

Die Another Day (2002)

Worst since Lazenby

[5/10 · 18 December 2002]

I love Bond movies and have only been disappointed twice in, gosh, is it really 40 years? What really lets this film down is not the actors but the direction. Abominable opening music, long slow stretches, very poor computer graphics, and too much double entendre. Yes that is part of what Bond is all about but this film had just too much...or was it the stilted pace that made it more noticeable. I actually liked the pairing of Brosnan and Berry but unless the direction gets better Bond certainly will die, if not today then certainly another day not far off.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

How could episode 2 be worse than episode 1?

[5/10 · 5 June 2002]

Let me count the ways! Episode 1 got bogged down with politics and not enough action. Episode 2 which should have learned the lesson from 1 boosted the action,certainly, but threw in a lacklustre romance between, unfortunately, lacklustre actors. It says something when c3po and r2d2 were the highlights of the movie providing welcome comic relief from the tedium of the stodgy storyline and acting. After some thought I have decided that what this film really lacked was a Harrisson Ford and a Wookie. All the action and special effects come to nought unless there is a larger than life hero to hold our focus and give the rest of the film some scale. None of the actors had what was necessary to carry this off. I don't know whether I could take the dissappointment I know is waiting in the next and hopefully final episode.

Serendipity (2001)

only 85 minutes ..thankfully

[3/10 · 1 February 2002]

This film gets off to a poor start because of it's incredible unbelievability ;which admittedly is not always a problem in movies but none of the actors have what it takes to overcome this problem. What we needed was a Sandra Bullock who shines in romantic comedy. This movie went from a shaky start to a poor middle and apart from a good comic performance by Eugene Levy as a store clerk there was no relief in sight. It's a pity Mr Levy, who co-wrote this script, couldn't make some more sympathetic characters. I believe John Cusack could be a fine romantic comedy actor. He has just been let down too often by bad scripts and unsuitable co-stars.

3 out of 10 .

Monkeybone (2001)

Nightmare of a film YAAAAWN

[1/10 · 14 January 2002]

I gave this film up to the point where the main character woke up with the wrong persona. Sorry if it got better after that but I couldn't stay awake. To me the film was just like one of those inane video games the kids play with lots of movement but not going anywhere. This is the first Brendan Fraser dog....sorry Monkey.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

It just doesn't get any better than this

[10/10 · 14 January 2002]

When I was a child I remember listening to the serialised story on BBC radio and was enthralled. In my imagination I could picture all the characters and locations vividly. Years later the same happened when I read the book. I came to the movie with a little trepidation because it is so easy to be disappointed when you have such strong preconceptions. I was so stunned to see that somebody else must have had exactly the same 'vision' as me because I couldn't tell you one thing that I would have changed...maybe the 'monsters' were a little scarier but the dark riders in particular took me right back to my childhood kitchen with the open fire my mother cooking while I listened to the story on the radio... What pleased me above all was the reaction of the audience. It is a long time since I have heared so many gasps, sighs, cheers and just total absorption by people of all ages but especially the usually so cynical teenagers. Maybe they should make Tolkien compulsory reading in schools.

Emmanuelle (1974)

It's all about atmosphere

[7 November 2001]

I saw this film in 1974 and was captivated by the sex, the locations, the clothes and Sylvia Kristel. My wife's memories are of the clothes Emanuelle wore. Like many films of this era (Star Wars springs to mind) one should not go back...it's a bit like visiting a nightclub the morning after. I will not be watching this film on dvd it was made for the big screen but it is probably horribly dated. I'll keep my cherished memories. Incidentally I also used to like flared trousers

Legally Blonde (2001)

not just a teen movie

[8/10 · 16 October 2001]

This is essentially a one joke movie but unlike the last comedy movie I went to see (America's Sweethearts) it was able to carry the joke with hilarious effect right through from start to finish. I am usually a little circumspect when I go to what I consider "teenie" or "adolescent" type movies but anyone who has raised daughters will especially get a great kick out of this film. Nothing cerebral, just a wonderful riotous romp from start to finish....a bit like my own daughters. 8/10 MIKE

The Patriot (2000)

A good old fashioned epic

[10/10 · 31 July 2000]

In the manner of the BIG films of the Spartacus and How the West was Won and others era. These are few and far between now and rightly so. If you are going to sit for three hours (including previews etc.) then it has to be an exceptional film. This one is. Story, History, Scenery, Camera work, Stars that can fill the screen , what else? this film had the lot and can you believe it no swearing or gratuitous sex scenes or violence. Yes there was battle violence a-plenty but, if anything, this was understated. On leaving the movie I had that elated feeling of being a part of something special but with no specific highlights to focus on. The whole film was just that good. 10/10

Onegin (1999)

A trip back in time

[10/10 · 28 June 2000]

Any film that opens with a carriage on runners being pulled through the snow has got to try really hard to fail. My wife and I spent the whole of this film entranced by the scenery, the exquisitely detailed sets and costumes, superb performances by all of the cast with a refreshingly thoughtful and adult dialogue and several surprising twists in the story. Liv Tyler delivered the most sensual performance I have seen in a film for quite a few years proving that you don't have to be naked and sweaty to stimulate an audience! I have not read the original story but I think this film may do for russian novelists what the recent spate of period dramas have done for Shakespeare and Jane Austen. The pacing of the film is slow and salubrious but definitely not plodding (sic. Angela's Ashes) You will be left wanting more but any more would spoil the plot. Don't miss it. Full marks.

East Is East (1999)

It just doesn't get much better than this

[10/10 · 19 June 2000]

Call me biased but British comedy is unbeatable for it's freshness and depth of character. In the ranks of British comedy east is east is in the top rank. While making serious comment on the community and personal problems of race mix in working class england around 1970 (has anything changed?) this film extracts so much humour. I am just in awe of the talent on both sides of the camera. Don't miss this masterpiece

Fantasia 2000 (1999)

Why was I so dissappointed?

[7/10 · 19 June 2000]

Alright, so I am about 40 years older than when I saw the original and wonderful Fantasia but I still like cartoons, I love the kind of classical music featured in Fantasia 2000 and I am constantly impressed by the products of peoples' imagination. My impression of this rendition was its lack of colour. Is it my imagination or has it come about that as technology has allowed more complex images the colours in cartoons have become more muted. They all seem to be washed out greens and blues with hardly a primary colour in sight and consequently there is a sameness about all of them. Would you know if you were watching Alladin or the Lion King? I came away from Fantasia 2000 thinking "oh yes it was ok, I suppose, but I feel cheated somehow". The best bits by a wide margin were Rhapsody in Blue and Carnival of the Animals topped off by Mickey Mouse as The Sourcerers Apprentice. Don't miss this film but don't expect too much either, that way you may not be as let down as I was.

Angela's Ashes (1999)

ten minutes is too much

[1/10 · 30 May 2000]

It is obvious from the opening scenes that this movie is going to be a mind-numbingly boring. It takes 2hrs 40mins to travel 15 years or so from a drab dirty New York tenement to a drabber dirtier Irish tenement. There was no attempt to convey the horror of the lives and times. The characters elicited no sympathy. Their acting was as contrived as the sets. The music is a maudlin tour de force by John Williams. It was only the fact I went to see it with some irish friends that I didn't walk out after about ten minutes. There was a scene about half way through where Frank was in the fever hospital. "Oi was so sick I t'ought oi was goin' to die; but oi didn't care" he said. Neither do I, I thought.

Mansfield Park (1999)

Time warp

[10/10 · 25 April 2000]

Get away from the twentieth century. Just sit back and let yourself be transported back to 1800AD in the company of some of the the sharpest wit you are likely to hear,as with all the other recently filmed Jane Austen novels. For the men who will avoid this 'womens romantic rubbish' at all costs my advice is "don't", you miss a wonderful experience and, even more, you miss the chance to score more brownie points with your lover than you could possibly imagine.

Hanging Up (2000)

Save your money

[1/10 · 21 March 2000]

How can a film with my heartthrob Meg Ryan, one of my wife's favourite actresses Diane Keaton and the popular 'Friends' star Lisa Kudrow fail? You've guessed it... this film does in good style. As three unlikable, mobile phone wielding, yuppie sisters with an amazing age range of at least 20 years (this shrinks to about 3 years in flashbacks) we are treated to a nerve jangling session, and a long one at that, of ....now let me start again. You know how you go to an expensive restaurant and the mobile phone on the next table rings one of those awful tunes and it goes on forever before someone answers it and talks right through dinner ignoring their companions and the kid at the table behind you uses the mobile to phone home to ask what pate-fois-gras is and then the mobile on the other side of your table starts up with 'Ode to Joy' and then you begin to notice how moronic the background music is...you begin to get the picture? What a waste of money ? Well that is about how we felt about this (can't I give it less than one point!) movie.

The Story of Us (1999)

A three handkerchief movie

[10/10 · 21 March 2000]

Bruce Willis, Michelle Pfeiffer and a wonderful cast make this movie one of the best experiences of recent times. The story of a married couple losing each other and neither knows why; trying to hide it as the children grow through their early teens must touch the heart of most parents but this portrayal will reach right down inside you and tear you apart. I can feel the tears coming back even as I write this. This is a film of pure emotion so well written and beautifully directed with just the right balance of humour and tragedy and so insightful no one contemplating /in/out of a relationship should miss it.

The World Is Not Enough (1999)

19 is not enough

[9/10 · 14 December 1999]

I don't look forward to Bond films any more, I just enjoy them when they arrive, a bit like christmas and birthdays (when you've seen a few. Every one is almost identical, the presents are the same old things you always get with just the occasional surprise, from the same old people; but they are people you love. They say the same things in the same way. They tell the same old jokes and make the same puns and even though you've heard them (18 times) before you still laugh and have a wonderful time. Of course the next day it is just a quickly fading memory and hasn't changed your life in any meaningful way. TWINE is no different from any of the other Bond movies. I have nothing to add to the previous comments which just about cover everything. Unlike some comments, though, I liked ALL of the characters, no exceptions. They are like part of the family! Score 9/10

The Red Violin (1998)

The best film so far this year

[9/10 · 6 October 1999]

A whole film about the history of a violin! How can this possibly make for riveting cinema? But it does. There is not one particular story or performance (apart from the music itself) that really stands out. I was even a little unsure of Samuel L Jackson's casting ; but the film works as a whole as a wonderfully interwoven mix of stories bound together by the sale at auction of the violin. I can't say that I have seen another film like this but it does have the feel of those compendium type Hammer Horror films of the sixties...not the content but the style. Anyway my wife and I just loved it. 9/10