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Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
It is not a sequel, but a remake 2
I've just been watching a YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU7SGn0MeP0
And it contains the most incredible, imaginative, and fantastic action sequences I've ever seen, and the music is Epic, just out of this world.
The Force Awakens is nothing like this, it is entertaining in the same way a fireworks display is...so if you like big bangs and no plot, this is your movie. Except, if you've seen the original Star Wars you have already seen this one. It is a complete remake of the first Star Wars movie shown... 1977, I think thats the date, so long ago. Those that have raved about this current turkey, obviously weren't born then. : )
In the future, get ready to see the entirety of the Star Wars franchise reproduced, without the slightest attempt at any new story-line development. The fact is, there is nothing original about this film, and that is sad. So many fans so wanted this to live up to the promise this would be as fantastic as Star Wars, but the money grubbing morons of Hollywood shite all over that idea.
For the most part its 50/50 you will feel like you got your moneys worth. I'm writing this review because so many have posted similar feelings, and I had thought I was the only one.
THIS MOVIE IS A DISAPPOINTMENT.
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
Bad enough to be used as torture.
The only reason this got a 2 was for Mark Wahlberg and the special effects. After what seemed like ages I checked my watch... only a freaking hour! It felt like 2 hours - I didn't know then I had nearly 2 hours to go - had I known, I'd have probably left, several already had. The point where I knew this movie was a turkey (for sure), was when Kelsey Grammar's character agreed to shoot an innocent for reasons that would result in the opposite desired effect. You can't get information from someone shot in the head - face-palm. The only parts that didn't make sense was; The beginning, the middle, and the ending. In other words it made no sense, IE: NONSENSE. Watching nonsense for 2.75 hours makes your brain hurt, the prospect of seeing TF4 again, makes me suicidal. One way to enjoy the movie would be watch the first 30 minutes - no more, leave, then come back 2 hours later and see the rest, you won't have missed anything. What is more, it might make sense - sort of.
Thor: The Dark World (2013)
Did not live up to expectations
We had a midnight viewing last night (Wednesday 30th Oct midnight)and for some reason there were less than 20 patrons, so that was the first warning sign. Then there was 30 minutes of adverts and promotions - okay maybe I exaggerate just a tad, but I was just so excited to see a movie I've waited so long to see, every second of delay was torture.
When the movie started the real torture started. Probably I'm getting too old and I've seen all this shat before, I just expected something different for a change. If your mentality is below 12 you might like it, otherwise it is old hat with unimaginative villains that were even too far fetched for a cartoon.
By the time Thor was half-way through I was bored and couldn't give a flying sardine who did or didn't get killed. The directors (I don't even want to know) obviously couldn't take the scrip seriously (and who could blame them) and it showed with idiotic out of place comedy. I believe this was done just to distract the long suffering viewer, except it did remind me of a dumbed down version of Dr Who - if that is possible! The bottom line here is credibility, no one in this work of fart could act there with a straight face. There was never a doubt the Universe was going be saved - I'm not kidding - it is this stupid!
Cloud Atlas (2012)
6 Stories about?
I gave this flick 2, mainly because the makeup and acting is good. There are a couple of interesting scenes where a spaceship? - lands/glides over the water. And of course the visions of a future world, but that is the full extent of any flicker of SF content, as it certainly isn't in the storyline. I watched this mainly for the Science Fiction story it claimed to be - I want my money back! I know SF when I see it, and this is not it. Cloud Atlas seems to be promoting re-incarnation, and how one should be okay to sacrifice your life for an idea... wait for it... because you'll be reincarnated, AND be with your one true love. Why that is true, I don't know - it might, but it is not found anywhere in this movie. Oh yeah, right at the end our heroine say it is so it must be true. Give me a break. Where's the effin story? Why did she believe this crap. Half-way through I was thinking this movie looks like a promotion for radical Islam; if you don't like it blow it up or die trying. (apologies to the radicals, thats normal Islam) Don't expect you'll figure that out by watching it, it just isn't there.
Lastly, the cutting back and forth was poorly done, not brilliantly done as in 'Crash', the movie this one was trying emulate edit-wise. It had all the finesse of a blender. I expect movies to entertain, and even violent SF ones like 'Blade Runner' are re-watchable because it has an incredible story. CA was not entertaining as a whole, it had some enjoyable parts, but they are not worth a 3 hour painful effort to see again.
Iron Man Three (2013)
Not an Iron Man Movie
Iron Man 3 was shown midnight Wednesday 24th (Tuesday night New Zealand time): This is my warning for American audiences.
Lets dispense with the no spoiler spoiler, to not spoil the movie I should tell ya what happens. 1 It is NOT an Iron Man movie - it looks like one, and it has Robert Downey Jr (doped to his eyeballs), but Iron Man never takes off - I'm still waiting! 2 The storyline is written by an extremely unimaginative 3 year old. 3 All the actors in this movie are appendages to RDJ. 4 The plot holes are so numerous they all merge into a Black Hole near the end to completely obliterate any remaining trace or concern we might still have for whatever happens next. 5 There are a lot of explosions, so if you ever start to wonder what might happen next... now you know. The director Shane Black obviously likes them and uses them liberally in exchange for any story. 6 The special effects suck. 7 The only 3 things that failed were: The acting, the screenplay, and the script. This movie was everything 'The Avengers' was not. IM3 is described as an Action Sci-Fi Thriller, which is a pity as RDjr thought he was in a comedy. Go on, go see this piece of waste effluent, and near the end you will be rooting for the bad guy. I'm sure all who were part of the making of IM3 suffered greatly.
Medium: You Give Me Fever (2009)
Totally Lacking a Trace of Morality
I am a fan of Medium, well at least the first 2 series, and I'll always love Patricia Arquette :) Now there was a bit of a problem around this time with the Writers Guild of America going on strike a few years before this episode. There was a noticeable change in mood and a drastic swing to the Right when the new writers took up the slack. It wasn't just Medium but in most American shows from 2008, the right wing propaganda machine would have made Joseph Goebbels proud. Lets look at this horrendous episode and of course there are SPOILERS. First up the people we expect to know who to trust are going to be part of a conspiracy. The problem with this is we've had thousands of nuclear warheads, and god-damn-it managed to find operators we can trust with firing them for over 50 years: Yet when it comes to finding scientist we can trust in developing a deadly virus - we fail. The story involves the release of this virus to kill thousands just so the government will pass legislation to fund the making of an antivirus (cure) to their deadly virus. Who makes this crap up? You can't use a virus without the cure, what would be the point of infecting an enemy when they could then return the favour? And with that in mind, who's going to buy it? The virus is far more valuable with the only cure in the possession of the user. Secondly when one gets infected by the evil scientist, he goes out in a car loaded with flammables and drives onto a motorway to crash and kill himself. WTF?? Why not call the appropriate medical authorities while isolated, and explain what happened? He can only infect by making physical contact, the virus is not contagious air-born. Amazingly there is only one dose of antivirus, and guess who drinks that. Well for Christ sake if someone has the antibodies for the virus his blood would work as a cure for those infected - something the writers overlooked. No. 3: Although Allison Dubois dreams all this and confronts the evil scientist on what he had done, she manages to overlook his trashing of the victims life when she dreams of his imminent death due to an allergic reaction to the antivirus he 'Drinks'. Really! Imagine if it was her daughter that gone and killed her self to save others from being infected, but instead she would be known as the woman that had tried to sell a deadly virus to terrorist? Fat chance she'd go to sleep with a cheesy grin on her face! I think the writers must realize the viewers of their programs are as brainless as they are. And lastly, it doesn't take $60 million to make sufficient antiviral for one disease, imagine the cost it would be for all the diseases we do have cures for? Anyway any cure would be useless once the disease mutates, and as you know virus mutates all the time. This show was so right-wing the only meaning it seems to be making is if someone you don't know comes to your door, you better shoot them - just in case...
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
This is not as good as claimed
By far the main problem with this movie is the FANS, this is fiction or fantasy and not real, nor could it be real in any sense. That is the reason for my 3 rating. Even as fantasy it does not hold true to the most flimsy of common sense logic, it is not consistent with its own rules in the "Batman" Universe. In the previous 2, Bruce Wayne is intelligent, overcomes his fears, and honors his parents by protecting those who for whatever reason - cant. In this movie, he is scared, a quitter, and pathetic as well as stupid - wtf! The first kick to my groin was the revelation Batman stopped fighting crime after he took the rap for Harvey Dent's death and his deeds. Now they are those that will claim - "Imagine how you'd feel...blah blah blah effin blah", as if it was real. The Batwing can't fly, who was that idiot designer? Fusion is NOT Fission, there is no Uranium, no rods. Big spoiler here: You can't fly a 6 megaton nuclear bomb (300 times more powerful than Hiroshima) to safety in 30 seconds, or even 20 minutes with that B-wing. And lastly it is my huge regret I did not post this review sooner when I first saw TDKR at midnight here in New Zealand a day or 2 before the USA. My main turn off for this movie was the stupid and over the top violence, that seemed to have no point other than to make Bane look bad. He only looked stupid, but smarter than Batman - again, as if. It was the same reason I didn't like TDK, but here the Joker WAS smarter than most and his excuse was obvious - he was insane! Another spoiler: Why did Bane want to die? And why did all his psychotic followers feel the same way? Anyway the Avengers were better - there I said it!
Avatar (2009)
Flashing lights and loud things entertaining small minds
A 10 year old would be ashamed of this script, so James Cameron - Shame on you! Those under 15 shouldn't mind, and will definitely love this movie. The novelty of the special effects will wear off quickly for many considering Avatars length, 162 minutes, on repeat viewings.
How on another planet we can't get on with each other - let alone the natives - yet are able to do so on Earth in order to build spaceships? There is no F'in way!!
I'm of the opinion that the Universe holds incredible wonders and riches beyond imagination. And I had hoped this movie would do that concept justice! Instead it chose to wallow in the mud of brainless ignorance pouring from every beautiful frame.
I went to see Avatar to experience a story set in a fantastic environment, instead I got to see said environment blown to smithereens without the story! And for me that isn't entertainment, in the same way the clubbing to death of the fur seal pups in Canada isn't!
It was never explained why the Humans didn't land as close as possible to the ideal mining location, and build a tunnel? It had to be cheaper than using/bringing all that military stuff. As well as the mining equipment we never did get to see?
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
Not bad
Great movie, go see it!
Now for the other reviews above - what a bunch of wan*ers! I have not read the books and I only saw this flick today by a fluke of timing. The midnight viewing had only one ticket left when I asked, so I thought why not. I had been told it was just a chick-flick and I wouldn't like it, but I'm glad I did see it and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm predicting it will make a truck load of money for all involved. Judging by the reaction of the audience, I'm sure I'm not alone in saying this will be considered the number 1 movie of 2009.
True, it isn't really my kind of movie - True Blood is better, but the prior brainless comments prompted me to give my honest opinion, because IMHO they didn't!
I haven't mentioned anything about the movie New Moon, because I don't wish to spoil anyones viewing pleasure, but if you liked Twilight this sequel will drive you crazy - it is a lot better!
Knowing (2009)
Knowing follows in a Non Sequitor fashion, or Something Poohed in my Brain.
This definitely has spoilers.
So aliens know the Earth is going to get a blast from the sun, and the best they can do is whisper to kids? Then when that apparently doesn't help, only 2 are taken (male + female), to a planet just like Eden. The message here just escapes me. Here are some of my groping attempts.
1 Science is evil and can't save you. 2 We are evil and need to be destroyed. 3 You will feel better when the World is destroyed if you believe. 4 These aliens know this and are in fact angels or agents for God. 5 You can't escape your fate, or is it destiny?
How did the aliens know these things would happen? Why tell a kid about hundreds of disasters, when they MUST know the information on a piece of paper, is going get put in the ground for 50 years? Where any of 3 remaining predictions changed because: 1 You can't do that. 2 You don't know how to do that. 3 You are not supposed to do that.
No answer is given, and we the viewer are kept in the dark on where and when and how many victims, these remaining tragedies will claim for far too long. The real clincher that this is a "expletive deleted" flick is when Nicolas Cage's son in the movie, starts to write these numbers that predict nasty future events. And the logical thing here to do is to rip it up, which of course Nicolas Cage does. The point here is, he KNOWS what it means, but he already KNOWS that the end of everything is also the next day. So WTF was being predicted by his son?
This movie for me looks like an over zealous attempt by religious radicals on why relying on science is foolish, and whatever is going to happen it is all part of Gods plan. If that is so then God is saying: "I f**ked up, and now I'm starting it all over again, but this time I'll get it right!"
The longer I watched this movie, the more frustrated I got, and now that I've seen it all, it feels like something poohed in my brain.
Star Trek (2009)
What if I could go back in time...
Let me see, if I go back in time about 6400 years when God created ... well everything, but before Adam or Eve eats that apple. "Hold on there mate, if you eat that apple God will throw you two out of Eden, and he will curse all future descendants with something called 'Original Sin'."
This probably wouldn't work .... for many reasons, mostly logical ones. For this movie logic is largely ignored, to a painful degree. Space fairing worlds already exist, and contact is only allowed if a planets civilisation become capable of interstellar travel at faster than light speed (warp drive abilities).
Apparently blowing up (or collapsing to a point) a developed planet of 6 billion beings only incurs a wrap over the knuckles with a wet teleport ticket. This is because the idiot (Eric Bana) is out for revenge for something that has not yet happened!!! Incredibly Eric Bana character (Nero) is TOLD this, and he still fails to see that as this is the past it literally has NOT happened! Think about it for a second.... if Earth is destroyed, and you find yourself back in time before it occurred: Would you seek revenge or try to prevent it?
Spoiler alert: After Vulcan is reduced, Spock says Vulcans are now an endangered species, yet the Vulcan people have been warping around the Galaxy for hundreds of years - have they never lived on any other world? Which is impossible as Romulans are descendants of Vulcan. (How ironic)
One more thing, well 2 actually: If you are caught falling into a black hole, give up - you can't escape based on the fact one can't go faster than light - oops! As in their Universe you can, why on Earth did the blow it up idea work? - it wouldn't! It is as silly as saying the Sun would go out if you threw enough ice at it!
The Miracle of the Cards (2001)
The Acting is so Poor, it is below the poverty level
Thomas Sangster as Craig Shergold, is the only reason for the two stars I've given this piece of boring, stupidly written TV movie, fit only for those with the attention span of a dead lizard. Marion Shergold is played by a person truly gifted in the lost art of impersonating an actress. I did hope that the real story could have been told, instead the movie has been hijacked by religious zealots, who are insanely leaping about as God has performed a miracle. Which I suppose is to be expected .... as this is such a rare thing these days 'vbg'.
For the life of me, I can't imagine why a god - any god - would only do a miracle if a lot of people had sent get well cards? Mmmmm... maybe this is the way to solve all our problems, from global warming, Islamic terrorists, poverty, pollution, to better sex!
The Ten (2007)
I quit watching after 20 minutes
I really really wish IMDb would allow negative *stars*, maybe 'Bombs' to be awarded as well. Then this movie would get a -10! I checked the ratings here to see if it was worth-while to watch the rest of 'The Ten', and I'd like to say thank you to all the comment authors here, who have certainly helped me make up my mind.
If I never see the rest of 'The Ten', it will be 21 minutes too soon! I think the 1 star I awarded is way too high!
Lastly, how is a show that is a Comedy have spoilers, unless it is in the revealing of the punchline(s)? If that is the case, no one could for this stupid movie! Hmmmm..... is that a spoiler?
Mamma Mia! (2008)
Should have been a lot better
I love Abba's music, and looked forward to this movie - what a let down! The movie makers here were just out to make a fast buck, and don't have a single clue as to the reason for Abba's popularity.
They created a story to cram the songs into, instead of the obvious - make a movie celebrating the wonder and pleasure so many have got from listening to Abba's music.
Don't get me wrong, a movie with Abba music from start to finish, can't fail to entertain, but this movie has been done in such a back-handed amateurish way, you can tell all involved didn't care a toss.
The sound sucked, the actors were all to old, Abba were not in their 50's in their heyday, so why on Earth are the actors singing so ancient?
The storyline is NOT the reason folk will go to see Mamma Mia! The main point is this movie could, no SHOULD have been done so much better.
But obviously - not by these dolts!
Babel (2006)
Overblown, Stupid, and Far-fetched
This flick was so bad I had to comment here.
Don't waste your time on this movie unless you like to suffer or watch suffering, or enjoy the *real-life* stuff like this crap! The makers of this movie are a real sick lot, and 1 is ten times higher than it deserves. I watch movies to be entertained! Some believe - based on their ratings - that it informs, baloney!
The 2 young boys who are just given a high powered rifle by their father - never having used any gun before - is credible? The rest of the movie hangs on this point: if these two boys (aged around 12 to 15) didn't behave as you would expect any person this age to act with such a fire arm, then one can't understand how on Earth their father would expect them to act any differently!
I expect the Moroccan folk will think this film maker is an idiot, for thinking they are!
Depressing and boring Babel is, the background music isn't bad.
Bicentennial Man (1999)
Is 'Artificial Intelligence an oxymoron term?
((Warning: potential spoilers ahead)).
The movie was good and disappointing. Science fiction is the most difficult subject to write about and in the medium of film, even harder. One just one idea is what generally makes a good movie. You refine it, explore the possibilities, throw known recognisable characters and then see what happens. With good SF nothing is (or should be) taken for granted. With Bicentennial Man the scene is the near future, with the 'what if' idea of creating something that has consciences, in something that is not alive or organic. Unfortunately this was changed to an accidental happening, and Mr Williams character never even wonders about this. Nor did anyone else, he was taken at face value.
It would have been a fascinating exercise to ask how would one define a person. Andrew Martin claimed to be human, yet no one 100's of years in the future had a means of testing that claim. We are forced to accept the stories premise that if a slow on-going change in a robot will make it human. No other details like; how does the brain work, why is it accidental?
At the end of the film the exact opposite is inferred. My own take on this is that the progress in technologies would make this inevitable - intelligent conscience machines.
I really did enjoy the movie. It was a lot more than I expected from Hollywood. It received little advertising here, when it opened several months ago. Last week it came out on video, so I had another look. This movie is not about how intelligent machines could be made, but how we react to this as a given fact. The central concept expressed by Asimov is that humanity can never accept an artificial human intelligence no matter how perfectly human, unless it became mortal.
My own feelings are that whenever AI starts and with on going improvements - a hundred years later - wanting to be human would be a step down.
The way to recognise good SF is to see how many are p***ed off with the ideas expressed within. Ninety percent just hate it if they are forced into thinking, the other 10% just love it!
Regards Robert