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Gilligan's Island: Gilligan, the Goddess (1967)
Gilligan doesn't like it hot.
Gilligan's Island sadly comes to a premature end with this entry. Unfortunately, this isn't a tidy wrap up to the series where the castaways are mercifully rescued, reach civilization, and bid each other tearful goodbyes. That's because CBS had renewed the show for a fourth season, then reversed itself after production on the third year had wrapped.
So instead, we get this strange, low-key, uneven episode in which most of the laughs come from the guest cast. The plot is nothing special and has a tendency to sputter, especially in the forgettable second half, and the castaways are largely sidelined. It's no grand finale.
Gilligan has fashioned an SOS sign out of a sail in the opening tag. The girls are chased through it by three natives. (The landing scene is once again skipped to save time, presumably). This trio may come in the usual assortment, but, unlike the other savages, they are civilized, and speak just enough English to advance the plot. Their leader, King Killiwani, is there to find a white goddess to marry, and he offers to take the castaways along to the wedding if a goddess comes forward.
All three of the ladies vie to be the goddess. In a faint echo of Beauty Is As Beauty Does, we get a short contest where they model identical white outfits for the king. Mrs. Howell is close enough to royalty to be Killiwani's choice. But there is a catch: she will be sacrificed to a volcano for their god.
Naturally, the castaways reject this proposal and Mrs. Howell gracefully bows out. The king won't take no for an answer and threatens the group with poison darts.
It's here that the men come up with one of their screwiest ideas: one of them will dress up as the goddess, go along with the king, and get rescued by the others. The plan is just another excuse for Gilligan to cross-dress, and it isn't any funnier here than the last time he was in drag.
King Killiwani takes an instant shine to 'Gilliana,' decides to betray the gods, and keep him for himself. It's a lame version of Some Like It Hot with Gilligan in the Jack Lemmon role and the king as Joe E. Brown. To keep their relationship from getting too interesting (and to give the others something to do), the castaways barge into the guest hut to disrupt their privacy. The girls put on a short, lively rendition of Bill Bailey and Mr. Howell performs alleged magic tricks using stale puns.
After the king puts an end to their unpleasant diversion, we have more Some Like it Not shenanigans. Gilligan gets as tired of the charade as the audience does and tricks the king in the laziest, lamest, and most annoying gag in the series. He walks out on the natives and skirts another rescue.
End scene, and end series.
But don't worry. Only another eleven years to wait for rescue.
COCONOTES:
Veteran character actor Stanley Adams, who later played Cyrano Jones on Star Trek: TOS, provides most of the laughs in this swan song. He does an excellent job as the chubby, amorous king, basically a poor man's Jackie Gleason. His two guards, played by Mickey Morton and Robert Swimmer, also get their fair share of laughs.
Incidentally, Adams also guested in the first episode of The Adventures of Dobie Gillis, the other Bob Denver series.
"I hate to judge this beauty contest because nobody would win."
Mr. Howell thinks Gilliana looks ravishing. Should Mrs. Howell be jealous?
Okay, maybe, just maybe, Ginger brought along her USO outfit. But why does she also have one that fits Mary Ann?
Gilligan's Island: Bang! Bang! Bang! (1967)
Gilligan's future is in plastic... explosives.
Plastics play a minor but funny role in 1967's The Graduate. They play a more prominent role in this underrated next-to-last episode of GI. This entry does its best to remind viewers of the classic screwball comedies of the 1930's with its broad sight gags and verbal routines. Bang, Bang, Bang! may not be as clever or original as V is For Vitamins or The Producer, but it's fun, quick-paced, and rates above average. It gives us plenty of bang for our buck.
The cold open feels straight out of a Bond film...a second rate Bond film. A Q-like scientist explains to a secret agent about thenaformaldehyde, a form of plastic that can be molded into just about anything. Once the plastic hardens, it explodes on impact. During this dry exposition, they learn a crate of the stuff has been lost at sea. (Of course it has. Can't trust the government to hold onto anything in this series).
Not surprisingly, the crate washes up onto the beach of our favorite isle, where we have the trope of Gilligan discovering it, this time with his random monkey pal in tow. Once again, he completely misses the warning label on the side marked Top Secret. The Skipper dismisses the find as junk, but the Professor believes the putty can be used for all sorts of useful items. The putty is molded into plates for Mary Ann; costume jewelry for Ginger; nails for the Skip; and golf balls for the Howells. Most importantly, after a banana mishap with the monkey, the plastic is used as fillings for Gilligan's teeth.
This first act is a bit slow and feels random at times. There are a couple of mild attempts at humor with near misses with the now hardened plastic. The Howells have a golf routine that shows why they're not Burns and Allen. The Professor and Ginger team up to perform dentistry on Gilligan in a similarly mediocre bit.
Our lead is next the guest of honor in another trope-the party of the week-where everyone raves about their plastic doodads. His monkey shows up to demonstrate their explosiveness. The castaways respond in a cute moment where they take turns exclaiming how their doodads are now lethal. Gilligan, of course, draws the toughest assignment. If he even as much puts his teeth together, his fillings will explode.
The second act is more fun and tension-filled than the first. Gilligan's monkey keeps the suspense going by sneaking off with the plastic items and stockpiling them on the roof of the supply hut. Scenes of his scavenging are intercut with scenes of Gilligan stressing over his teeth. The Professor increases the tension by failing to pull them. His failure leads to an excellent scene where our lead mistakenly thinks his bubble has burst. The monkey then reappears to fling the plastics at the hapless castaways, who run like headless chickens and deliver one-liners. Gilligan nobly marches into certain doom to retrieve his pet, and we have a funny and dynamic conclusion.
COCONOTES:
The secret agent in the cold open vaguely resembles George Lazenby.
Gilligan's monkey and ape pals show up whenever the plot calls for it. This little tyke was last seen as Boris in Ring Around Gilligan.
Major plot hole: The Professor first states he doesn't want to risk drilling or pulling Gilligan's teeth, then reverses himself, puts him to sleep, and tries to pull them anyway.
Ginger's towel and Mary Ann's sleepwear make welcome reappearances.
Chuckle-worthy gag when Gilligan's clothes are instantly shredded.
Gilligan's Island: The Pigeon (1967)
Gilligan meets Berty the Pooh.
If there was ever an episode of this series that felt overly familiar, it's this one. The premise and much of the plot have been lifted from The Sound of Quacking. Just substitute Walter the pigeon for Emily the duck. Besides being in color, the major difference between The Pigeon and the earlier episode is this one has a great guest star who enlivens the whole outing.
In the cold open, Gilligan finds a pigeon under his hat. The Professor identifies the bird as a carrier pigeon. From that point, the story follows The Sound of Quacking beat for beat. Just like Emily, the castaways can tie a note to the bird's leg and send him off to civilization. They nurse him back to health, a process that takes the same two week period as before. Gilligan befriends the pigeon and names him Walter. The castaways get overly impatient in waiting for Walter to take off, overfeed him, and make it impossible for him to fly. Now guilty, they put Walter on a crash diet for another two weeks.
It's not until Walter finally gets off the ground that the episode gets some originality. Walter makes it to his real home, a prison, and his owner Burty, an eccentric prisoner who has a pen of pigeons. A funny correspondence starts between Burty and the castaways, whom he mistakes for his pen pal Old Lady Hawkins. Of course, he doesn't believe their fantastic story, not even when Mr. Howell encloses a thousand dollar bill. Twice, he sends Walter back to the isle.
After those two strikes, the castaways smarten up and take a picture of themselves in front of wreckage of the Minnow as indisputable proof they are stranded on the island.
The episode then has a really bizarre detour. Gilligan and Walter encounter a ginormous six foot black morning spider in the cave. The men are overmatched by the monster and trapped alongside Walter, and it's up to the 'helpless' women to bail them out. Led by Mrs. Howell (!), they rig up a contraption with a mirror to scare the spider away. Much like he did in X Marks the Spot, Gilligan shatters their plan. A gruesome ending is diverted, however, when inexplicably Walter saves the day.
With that ridiculous padding done with, it's time for the pigeon to make his third flight. The finish is predictable, but still funny and satisfying, and Walter returns and presumably stays with the frustrated castaways, much like Emily did.
COCONOTES:
Kudos to the great work done by guest star Sterling Holloway, well known voice of Disney characters Winnie the Pooh and Kaa the snake. In what amounts as an extended cameo, he gives a lively, playful, and energetic performance, and is easily the high point of the episode. Love the part where he joyously liberates his coop.
GI stuntman Janos Prohaska portrays the morning spider.
Almost as if they know they only have two episodes left, the castaways don't bother to pursue the spider.
Ginger repeats her 'don't stop for any ladybirds' line from The Sound of Quacking.
Gilligan's Island: It's a Bird, It's a Plane (1967)
Gilligan is a jet setter.
It's a Bird, It's a Plane is a typical late third season entry with a straightforward plot, uneven humor, and bouts of lazy, predictable writing. Most of the gags fail to land or feel half-hearted. At least the broader slapstick is kept to a minimum and there is the occasional chuckle. Outside of the cold open, everything jets along at a nice pace.
We return to the trope of the military losing another valuable piece of equipment that finds its way to our favorite island. This time, the Air Force has lost an experimental jet pack. We learn this in probably the dullest cold open in the series, where some very stiff and bored actors deliver dry exposition. Their lost pack winds up in the lagoon; the Professor believes it can be used in a rescue attempt.
How he arrives at this instant analysis is hilariously lazy: he just pours liquid from one beaker to another. It's more hilarious than the three intentionally funny interruptions by the curious castaways. After this extensive testing phase, he concludes that there is enough rocket fuel to get a castaway back to Hawaii.
In an awkward transition, we cut to the Howells wanting Gilligan to make that jump. (They feel he is the most qualified candidate they can trick into flying). Their attempt at trickery is one of those scenes that fails to land; it fizzles out when Mrs. Howell falls for her husband's shtick. Better is the scene where glamorous Ginger's steamy seduction attempt nearly causes Gilligan to fly without the pack.
None of their chicanery is necessary, however, as the Professor will use a test dummy to make the flight. The girls dress the dummy in a scene that hearkens back to New Neighbor Sam and is nothing special. Neither is the broad, slapstick-heavy scene where Gilligan uses up most of the jet fuel and ruins the Professor's plan.
Another trope is used when a fleet of Navy ships is dispatched to search for the pack. The castaways go to plan B, which isn't much different from plan A. They will launch the pack to signal the ships for fifteen minutes.
No one, though, is any more willing to make the flight than before. On the fly, the prolific Professor builds a weird spinning barrel contraption to test the men's ability to withstand the thin altitude. Our dizzy lead passes with flying colors. There are some mildly amusing flight training scenes, then he reluctantly makes the jump.
The jump itself is underwhelming and undermined by stock special effects. Gilligan makes a super dumb decision and steers himself out of another certain rescue.
Slightly better is the Laurel and Hardy bit he and the Skip engage in back in the hut. Also, the epilogue is semi-clever, as Gilligan tries to redeem himself and forgets to buckle up.
COCONOTES:
The lieutenant in the introductory scene is played by Walt Hazzard, an NBA star who played from 1964 to 1967 with the LA Lakers.
Only episode where the supply hut has a lock.
Find it interesting that Ginger's sizzling 'good-bye' smooch goes on long after the pack has been switched. Should Mary Ann be jealous?
The Skipper observing them. "I wonder what's going on over there?" It really has been a long time, hasn't it, Skip?
In this episode, veteran announcer Chick Hearn gives the island's coordinates as two hundred fifty miles southeast of Hawaii.
Gilligan's Island: Slave Girl (1967)
Adonis mourns for Gilligan.
Slave Girl is another third season episode where its best quality is suspense. Gilligan is either in danger or under the threat of danger in nearly every scene. The plot is basic issue, and the humor is mainly stock. But the episode has enough suspenseful moments to nudge it above average.
Our slave girl of the title makes her dramatic appearance in the open. She flips her outrigger canoe in the lagoon. Unlike in How to Be a Hero, Gilligan is able to save her from drowning and brings her to shore single-handedly. The girl's name is Kilani and she is a member of the Marobi tribe. In the custom of her people, Gilligan, having saved her life, is now her master and she his slave.
What we have then is GI's answer to I Dream of Jeannie. In a quick montage, Master Gilligan gets frustrated by Kilani shadowing him and doing his chores. Mr. Howell and Ginger, who memorably teamed up as a villainous duo in the first year, both want Kilani to work for them, but she is only interested in serving her master.
At wit's end, Gilligan takes his frustrations to the Professor. He learns the only way he can free himself of his predicament is to be killed in mortal combat. Mr. Howell is happy to oblige so he can be Kilani's master. The set-up to their fencing duel is funnier than the event itself. The billionaire dispatches our lead in record time; unfortunately, his claim to the slave girl lasts only a few seconds.
That's because writer Micheal Fessier borrows a plot point from Gilligan's Mother in Law and inserts a native rival for our lead. The mighty warrior Ugandi challenges Mr. Howell to a duel, but he's given a pass when Gilligan won't stay down. The castaways vote to stand-in for Gilligan, but he is too noble to let anyone do his fighting for him.
He makes an off-hand remark which inspires the Professor to dupe the Marobi into thinking he has expired. Our lead is injected with a sleeping serum that puts him in a cataleptic trance. The ruse works, but, to increase the tension even more, the Marobi elect to honor him by burning his body.
In a snap, the natives build a coffin and begin the burial ceremony. The castaways try to bring some comedy back into the episode by stalling the cremation. The only stand-out scene is Ginger's sexy veil dance. Unfortunately, to keep it family friendly, Ugandi stops the dance before she runs out of veils.
So the suspense returns as our lead gets lit and the musical cues get dramatically cool. The serum just happens to pick this moment to wear off, and Gilligan realizes he is the barbequee at a barbeque. The episode concludes in much the same way as High Man on a Totem Pole did, and Gilligan is no longer the master of Kilani. (He's still the master of his domain, though).
COCONOTES:
Guess the censors didn't want Gilligan to administer CPR on Kilani. He revives her with some weird calisthenics.
Really sloppy editing in the cold open. The same clip is shown twice of our hero pointing back at the lagoon when Kilani is at his feet.
Once again, how fortunate it is that Mr. Howell brought along an outfit with him that fits Gilligan. Naturally, when you're on a three hour tour, you bring along fencing gear. Never know when a duel may break out.
Actor Michael Forest, who plays Ugandi, played Apollo in both Star Trek, the Original Series, and in Star Trek: Continued in 2013.
Nice special effects in Gilligan's near cremation.
Gilligan's Island: The Secret of Gilligan's Island (1967)
Gilligan is all about time.
Another Sherwood Schwartz produced series with a catchy theme song, It's About Time, serves as the basis for this entry. The series runs during the third season of GI before CBS cancels it after one season due to poor ratings. It is about a pair of astronauts who travel back in time to the prehistoric age and befriend cave dwellers. In a bid to save money, GI borrows the set, props, and wardrobe from the failed series and builds an episode around it. The episode is mainly interesting as a curiosity, with pretty good production design, a strange dream sequence, and hit-or-miss humor.
In the cold open, we have the trope of Gilligan discovering something of value. He stumbles upon a prehistoric tablet in one of the isle's 'unexplored' caves, which looks strangely identical to the all-purpose cave used every week. The tablet contains hieroglyphic markings. The Professor believes they show a way to get off the island, but the tablet is only a piece to a larger tablet, and the castaways need to collect all the other pieces to find the answer.
The first act then is a scavenger hunt where the group finds the pieces to their prehistoric puzzle in mostly uninspired ways. Nothing of interest happens, outside of Gilligan mistaking acid for soup and nearly giving himself permanent indigestion.
A fairly funny scene does happen. The castaways are short one piece; our lead just happens to be using it as a serving tray. The Professor doesn't make the connection right away even though it's right in front of his eyes. Once he does, Gilligan drops it, of course, and it crumbles to pieces.
But wait! The pieces are easily restored in the second act and the puzzle is completed. Based on the tablet's markings, Gilligan and the Skipper are tapped to make another raft trip to Hawaii.
With that plot point wrapped up, writer Bruce Howard has time for a random segue into the dream sequence. Gilligan starts obsessing over cave people and drifts off in the middle of his chatter. In his dream, he is an artist and unlikely leader of an idealist group who wants to explore the scary 'other side of the hill.' The Howells are his loin-clothed, long-haired chieftains who forbid independent thinking. The Professor, in a predictably good gag, is the inventor of the wheel. The others are in the same supporting roles they are in when our lead is awake and do much the same things.
Chief Howell imprisons Gilligan and the Skip for their idealism. They are freed in no time, however, by Ginger's funny and successful seduction attempt. Mrs. Howell clubs her hubby and drags him by the hair in a bit done on It's About Time. However, in the next scene, the group is all together on their way to the other side. They encounter a pretty good stop-motion dinosaur and flee.
Shortly after the dream ends, so does the castaways plan to flee the island. The Professor doesn't know hieroglyphics as well as he thinks he does and makes a rare Gilligan-sized error.
That's the way the tablet crumbles.
COCONOTES:
Writer Bruce Howard won an Emmy for his work on The Red Skelton Show. He later was a staff writer for The Dukes of Hazzard, another CBS series.
Minor plot hole: So Gilligan has been using a piece of the tablet 'for months' and has never once noticed the unusual markings?
Minor blooper: The restored pieces of the tablet clearly don't resemble the crumbled pieces.
In her long, dark wig, Mrs. Howell is a stand-in for Imogene Coca of It's About Time.
Ending scene is sweet and thoughtful.
Gilligan's Island: The Second Ginger Grant (1967)
Gilligan meets Ginger Ann.
Just the second entry to feature Mary Ann, this one is marginally better than The Postman Cometh. It's undermined by a stock premise that would make more sense back in the first year. Still, an episode where Mary Ann and Ginger swap roles for a day can't help but be fun, entertaining, and feature a lot of outfits.
Glamorous Ginger performs for her appreciative audience in the cold open. Mary Ann is particularly awestruck. She trips over a rock during the curtain call and conks her head. Instead of being concussed, she awakens thinking she is the movie star.
The Professor diagnoses her as having a bad case of Ginger envy. He suggests humoring her to prevent any kind of psychological trauma. So we have that old sitcom routine where the girls change places. Mary Ann clearly gets the better end of the deal; she gets to wear a slinky leopard-print number and rehearse a love scene with a reluctant Gilligan. Ginger, meanwhile, adopts the farm girl's trademark pigtails and checker board outfit. Ironically, the accomplished actress is never convincing as Mary Ann and does nothing memorable with the role. She gets so tired of the act, in fact, that she takes off her wig to do the laundry and gets caught by her double, who faints straightaway.
Despite the shock of 'seeing herself,' Mary Ann awakens still thinking she's Ginger. The Professor borrows the hypnosis bit from the first season episode Forget Me Not. Somehow, just like that earlier attempt, his hypnotic suggestion bounces off her and hits an eavesdropping Gilligan.
With the original plot point having ground to a standstill, there is time for a detour with Gilligan now as Mary Ann. The scene may be padding, but, to be fair, it is very entertaining. Writer Don Friedman gets as much mileage out of Gilligan's bashful act as he can. This bit and the Professor's reverse suggestion that gets our lead back to normal work really well.
With that fluff out of the way, the episode returns to the problem of what to do with the new Ginger. The Professor's solution is so simple it should've come to him earlier. Anyway, Mary Ann's big musical number is both painful to watch and hear. It is the last time she takes center stage in the series.
COCONOTES:
Ginger, whose character is based on Marilyn Monroe, sings "I Wanna Be Loved by You," sung by Monroe in Some Like It Hot.
Major, major plot hole: We're expected to believe that Mary Ann, living with Ginger for nearly 3 years, wakes up one morning and realizes her hut mate is a movie star and wants to be just like her.
Using those loud, screeching notes for Mary Ann's second smooch with Gilligan is insulting and over-the-top.
That's Dawn Wells' actual singing voice at the end.
All of Ginger's dresses are miraculously restored by the next episode.
Gilligan does admittedly look cute in the epilogue.
Gilligan's Island: High Man on the Totem Pole (1967)
Gilligan heads off disaster.
This episode really serves as a good companion piece to Topsy Turvy. Both are entertaining dramatically, have hit-or-miss humor, are a good showcase for our lead, and come complete with three headhunters.
On a trek through the jungle, Gilligan and the Skipper discover a native totem pole. Atop the pole is a head that bears a striking resemblance to the first mate. The Professor needs just a glance to determine the pole was carved by the Kupakai tribe and the head is Mashuka, their god.
In a faint nod to Up At Bat, Gilligan obsesses over being the descendent in a long line of headhunters and having Kupakai blood. Unlike that earlier episode, however, his obsession doesn't lead to a memorable dream sequence or even any good physical comedy; he just stares at the pole.
There are bits where the others try to take Gilligan's mind off his morbid fascination with Mashuka. The Howells have him chauffer them in that coconut-and-bamboo car, which ends in a crash and a lot of lame puns. Glamorous Ginger with her shapely figure isn't able to distract him either. His obsession comes to a head when the Professor, in the best scene in the episode, offers himself as Gilligan's first victim. It is a good character moment for both as it shows the Professor's faith in our lead and Gilligan's good-heartedness. Gilligan's decision to spare him brings that plot point to a satisfying end.
He does, however, try to end his fixation by chopping off the head, causing the next plot point to pop up. Literally, three Kupakai pop up from the bushes; writer Brad Radnitz doesn't bother with a landing scene. This terrible trio finds Mashuka on the ground and swears revenge.
Their revenge is to capture the castaways in more or less the standard order with little fuss. The hapless Howells are snatched first, and their usual bribery shtick ends with them tied to a tree. At least the Skip has a brief, heroic moment as he goes down.
To save them, the Professor has our lead dress up as Mashuka to order the Kupakai to free their captives. (At least this time it makes sense for Gilligan to be the focus of his plan, given his likeness to the Kupakai leader). The bit where the Professor, who is familiar with every native tongue, tries to teach him those three little words of Kupakai is iconic and pretty funny. It takes just a blink of an eye to transform him into a savage (thanks to the wardrobe department).
Of course, since the plan involves Gilligan, it doesn't go smoothly. As he admires himself in the mirror, the others are ambushed. Once again, it's set up for our lead to single-handedly save the day. The dramatics that follow are executed pretty well; predictably, Gilligan nearly bungles everything but, as usual, comes out ahead in the end.
COCONOTES:
One of the funniest straight lines in the series is Gilligan's "Where to, Mr. Howell?" in the coconut car.
"Ah, the redlight district, dear boy, and make it snappy!"
Excellent pan of glamorous Ginger at the totem pole.
Two of the three Kupakai are major league baseball players: Jim Lefebvre of the LA Dodgers and Al Ferrera of the San Diego Padres.
The girls put up so little resistance when they're taken they must have looked ahead in the script.
Where did the Kupakai get their cauldron?
Gilligan's Island: Splashdown (1967)
Gilligan's splashdown is a letdown.
For the first time this season, GI's writing staff returns to the well they drew from far too many times in the second year. They give the castaways yet another close encounter with NASA. This outing starts off fairly well and then gets more uneventful and tedious as it goes along, specifically in the second act. Ultimately, it is as empty as the space capsule that lands on our favorite island.
The castaways learn in the cold open that a spacecraft, Scorpio 6, will orbit the earth. According to the Professor's usual infallible calculations, the craft will pass over their isle on its ninth, sixteenth, and thirty-second orbits. So they have three chances to make contact with the astronaut team of Ryan and Tobias, and somehow get off the island.
Mildly funny is the familiar bit where Gilligan is tapped to deliver the great news to the others and predictably gets their wires crossed. More interesting is the Professor's latest creation, a telegraph powered by four bicycles ridden by castaways. The invention is certainly unique, and the riders get in some good one-liners as they pedal. But when the Professor pushes them to pedal faster, the old gag of speeding up the camera undermines any humor.
Their signal mysteriously vanishes due to plot purposes. Strike one.
The second attempt involves the men spelling out SOS with logs soaked in brandy and lit on fire, a plan not that much different from the fishy shenanigans of Marooned. This time Gilligan spells his letter correctly, but, through a broad sight gag, knocks a log out of place, and bungles the attempt. Strike two.
Writer John Fenton Murray then randomly drops the idea of a third orbit and has the unmanned rendezvous capsule land in the lagoon. His plot similarly runs out of fuel.
Yet another Navy task force is sent out to find the capsule. Too much time is wasted on senseless bickering over who will meet the astronauts and operate the capsule. The Skip and Gilligan are tapped to make the launch; they're apparently the most qualified since they've piloted the Minnow so well.
But the others stubbornly won't let it go. The Howells and the girls actually stowaway aboard the capsule, which is not only petty and dumb beyond words, but endangers the rescue attempt, and doesn't lead to any fresh or funny material. The scenes are slow, listless, and predictable, nothing more than padding to give the controllers at NASA time to call off their search and detonate the capsule. The only fun comes at the close when Mr. Howell throws a hissy fit over his lost brandy (and not over this misfire of an episode).
COCONOTES:
Writer Murray dusts off that old joke of Gilligan not knowing what SOS means used in the pilot.
The radio announcer is the legendary Chick Hearn, voice of the Los Angeles Lakers.
The Skip exclaiming each of the stowaways' names aloud belongs in a radio script.
In this one, the girls have both beach blankets and bikinis. Right.
Gilligan's Island: Gilligan's Personal Magnetism (1967)
Gilligan discovers lightning strikes twice.
Gilligan's Personal Magnetism is anything but magnetic. It is decidedly average, hampered by a plot that meanders all over the place, poor pacing, clunky special effects, and a very uneven tone. At times, the episode is serious, sentimental, comedic, and creepy. And, despite the title, it has no spark.
Gilligan and the Skipper are back to bowling in the cold open, a sport they haven't touched since the first season. An unexpected thunderstorm interrupts their match. Gilligan can't resist getting in an extra strike, but the strike he gets comes from a lighting blast. This cartoonish blast knocks him thirty feet into the air and into the pins. The blast doesn't kill him, or even short out his faculties. What it does do is cause his bowling ball to stick to his hand. The Professor diagnoses that the iron ore in the ball has somehow attached to the iron in Gilligan's body.
O-kay.
Similar scenes to The Invasion follow as he and the others try to remove the ball with similar results. The current running through him causes anyone who touches him to receive a cartoony carpet shock. The Skipper puts him to bed in a ponderous but still funny bit that ends with him getting conked into dreamland. The Howells are convinced it's all in Gilligan's pointy head. In a nod to the first season, Mrs. Howell plays psychiatrist and is no more effective than she was the first time out.
The Professor eventually devises an electrode to separate Gilligan from the ball. By pure sitcom coincidence, another storm materializes to zap Gilligan just as the electrode does. This blast causes him to turn invisible.
So, despite the title, he's only magnetic for half the episode.
Gilligan the Invisible Man is less interesting and fun than it should be. The scenes drag and don't commit to being either completely funny or completely dark. They are undermined by awkward pauses, weak special effects, sinister background music, and general creepiness. Unlike Claude Rains, his invisibility doesn't lead to madness or a thirst for power.
At first stumped, the Professor develops a lead-lined wrapping that makes our lead resemble a mummy. He is slightly funnier in the visual gag when he's half-wrapped and scares the girls; Ginger's comb unravels that plot thread.
Once again, our noble lead leaves behind a note and retreats to the other side of the island to stay out of everyone's way. His sacrifice is undone in the very next scene when he hangs out and eats at the table where the others lament his leaving. His visibility randomly picks that moment to kick in, and we have another overly cute, simplistic ending where everything is wrapped up.
COCONOTES:
Like the special effect of smoke billowing from the bowling ball, the only effect that really works.
So, after being saved by Gilligan multiple times, the girls think his bravest moment is looking glum with a ball on his arm.
If Gilligan had simply chosen the lower bunk, he could have saved the Skip a headache.
The only major Universal monster not represented in the series is the Wolfman.
Gilligan's Island: Our Vines Have Tender Apes (1967)
Gilligan meets the poor man's Tarzan.
Clearly, this late in the third season, the series is running low on originality. Once again, an episode from the last season recycles plot elements from way back in the first. This time, it borrows heavily from Diamonds are an Ape's Best Friend and a little bit from Gilligan Meets Jungle Boy. The guest star does a passable job, but the outing has stale, lazy writing, awkward scenes that don't work, and is never more than mildly funny.
Okay, the cold open is at least cute, if you're into Goldilocks. Gilligan discovers an ape man sleeping in his hammock. After the cuteness fades, we go right into the trope of no one believing his very descriptive story. It's not long, though, before the figment of Gilligan's imagination appears (as it did so many times before), swings into the skeptics, gives a non-Tarzan yell, and flees.
For the majority of the first act, the ape man menaces the castaways in mildly humorous scenes; the best scene is where he engages Mr. Howell and causes a fainting spell. The men's search party scenes are too broad and adolescent as they're overmatched by the ape man throwing coconuts. Equally witless and sexist is the girls' plan to make themselves look ugly to keep from being carried off.
Ginger doesn't really try, of course, and is taken to that same weekly cave set. The scene between beauty and the beast is tedious, draggy, and falls woefully short of any Tarzan and Jane material. All that's gained from it is the ape man's name is Tongo. It's followed by another moment cribbed from Diamonds where the Professor tries to use her to lure Tongo into a trap and she refuses. Mary Ann fills in for her in a creepy scene where the cut-rate Tarzan is captured and caged.
In a not so surprising twist, it's revealed that the menacing Tongo is really an actor who has travelled all the way to a remote island to practice his role on the unsuspecting castaways. In short, he's really, really method.
He continues his act with Gilligan and the others in scenes where they try to connect with him, and are pale imitations of better scenes with the jungle boy. They're also kind of cruel since he's playing the naïve castaways for fools.
Not knowing how to continue, writers Mandel and Kammerman have a random gorilla pop up to carry off Tongo in an ironic twist. Once again, we're back to Diamonds, as the castaways try to rescue him in a bid to get off the island. Scrawny Gilligan is dressed up as another gorilla to lure the real one out of that same cave to little comedic effect. (Why Gilligan you say? Why not?) The episode wobbles to its predictable finish; Tongo is exposed as a fraud and a coward, and the writers as creatively spent.
COCONOTES:
Denny Scott Miller makes his second appearance on the series as the ape man. Miller actually played Tarzan on the 1959 series. His actor here comes across as a brutish and unlikable schemer. Definitely left a better impression as Duke the surfer.
Major plot hole: how on earth did he know the island he picked was inhabited?
Another sign that the writers are mailing it in is Mr. Howell's umbrella sword.
Yet another sign is the coconut and bamboo shopping cart. Kind of counterproductive to push a basket on wheels through jungle terrain when it's way easier to carry the 'groceries'.
Gilligan's Island: Lovey's Secret Admirer (1967)
Gilligan meets Cinderfella.
For the first time since the first season, Lovey Howell is the central focus of an episode. Her entry is definitely a mixed bag, at times dull, overly cute, slow, and mildly humorous. Outside of an over the top, one-time invention by the Professor, this one doesn't have many stand out moments and feels like filler.
Mrs. Howell have been receiving anonymous love notes. The idea of a secret admirer rejuvenates her and makes her feel alive. Mr. Howell is mortified over having a rival; he slaps the island's three bachelors. The accused protesting their innocence is pretty funny, which disappoints Mrs. Howell, but what is really funny is the invention the Professor cooks up to determine their innocence. It's a coconut lie detector (digest that for a moment) powered by batteries from the radio and the Minnow's old horn. Somehow, this contraption works, and all the men pass.
The mystery of who the admirer is revealed in melodramatic fashion. The Professor has an inkling of who it is, so five castaways lie in wait around Mrs. Howell's bed. Even though the admirer's identity is predictable, the castaways are still shocked to catch him in the act. The dramatic flourish is silly, forced, and completely unnecessary, since all he is doing is leaving her a note, not stealing her jewelry.
Mr. Howell's clumsy explanation of why he left the notes offends his wife, and she goes to the familiar extreme move of booting him out of their hut. Well, at least this time we're spared the trope of the castaways concocting an elaborate scheme to get the lovebirds back together. Instead, Mrs. Howell listens to a broadcast of Cinderella, drifts off to sleep, and enters into a very long, strange, and middle-of-the-road dream sequence.
Mrs. Howell is the plain, sad sack title character. Ginger and Mary Ann play against type as her mean, ugly stepsisters. With no more females to play parts, the role of her mother goes to the Skip, more or less playing the same character he did in The Invasion, and the role of her fairy godmother goes to Gilligan in a kind of nod to that Cinderfella movie starring Jerry Lewis.
It's about as funny here.
Writers Finn and Dinehart stick closely to the Cinderella script, making most of the dream dull and predictable. The ball scene is long and ponderous; the only spark is when the sisters fast dance with the prince, the dashing Mr. Howell. Godfather Gilligan uses middling special effects to take care of the meanies and bring the spinster and her prince together. Of course, the clock then strikes midnight; Cinderella loses her precious footwear; and you know the rest.
COCONOTES:
Ginger is a bit frosty to the Skip in the scene where she tries to find out if he is the admirer. Still, in her defense, he does have a creepy pucker.
That lie detector is one of the more greatly outlandish Professor inventions. Can't figure out why the castaways would still have the Minnow's horn lying around. The sound effect is priceless.
The Howell's cuckoo clock is seen for the first and only time.
Like Gilligan's childish glee when he plays with the lie detector in the cute epilogue.
Gilligan's Island: The Hunter (1967)
Gilligan is the world's most dangerous game.
Easily the darkest GI episode, The Hunter is a refreshing change of pace from the goofy, standard fare of the series. The adult tone gives a glimpse into what the show could've been if it had been aimed at an older, more mature audience. The humor may be subdued, but the drama and suspense more than make up for it.
Gilligan is listening to incidental music in the open as a copter lands behind him in the lagoon. Jonathan Kincaid and his man-servant Ramoo have arrived to get in a little hunting, but Gilligan informs them the island has no game to hunt. To kick off the plot, he does tell them there are six other castaways living there, and Kincaid realizes he has a more challenging target.
It's a quick build-up to the hunt. Kincaid quizzes the castaways on their physical fitness, and there are a lot of cheap one-liners. The Skipper rags on Gilligan's speed and agility, unwittingly putting his little buddy in harm's way.
Certainly, the darkest, most tense scene in the entire series follows. The castaways throw Kincaid a party to celebrate their imminent departure. (Don't jinx it, castaways...too late)! He casually drops his bombshell on the disbelieving group, and they uneasily realize he is not kidding. There is a nice mix of tension and humor as the hunter puts down those castaways who didn't make the cut. There is a bit of comic relief as Gilligan reacts to the news he is Kincaid's prey, then the tone darkens and the music grows ominous as the hunter puts the kibosh on the Professor's plan to radio for help.
Kincaid's hunt has high stakes; if Gilligan can survive for the next twenty-four hours, he and the castaways will be returned to civilization. For the most part, the desperate castaways are complicit in the plan. They do try out their typical bribery and seduction attempts. Kincaid, though, has no interest in the Howell's money, and he neatly turns the tables on glamorous Ginger and her pineapple juice sedative. With those diversions out of the way, it's on to the hunt.
The hunt itself is fun in fits and starts. Even though Kincaid is shooting to kill, the hunt never gets too serious, and is stocked with a lot of the usual goofy shtick whenever he gets close to his target. There is even a fairly dramatic moment where Gilligan outsmarts him at a trough.
The rest of the castaways are sidelined in that same all-purpose cave used as a prison this time, guarded by Ramoo. A diversion by Mrs. Howell frees the Skip and Professor to play a supporting role in the hunt. Their assistance is a dumb gag that reminds us of the dumb gag way back in the pilot, which sacrifices his speed and agility and nearly backfires. The hunt wraps up predictably with no surprises, and the castaways shoot another rescue attempt in the foot.
COCONOTES:
Gilligan saying there is no game on the island contradicts the Where There's a Will episode where they hunt a wild boar.
Rory Calhoun does a superb job as the big game hunter. He is an oily, handsome, rugged, and lethally serious villain, definitely the best in the series.
It's odd to see Harold Sakata as the turbaned Ramoo. He gives an equally solid performance, of course, but you keep expecting him to strike Gilligan with a hat.
"My malaria must be coming back."
"You've gone soft, Ramoo." "Yes, too bad."
The report of Kincaid's breakdown in the epilogue and the men's reaction to it is a fitting capper.
Gilligan's Island: Court-Martial (1967)
Gilligan walks the plank for not being funny.
Court-Martial is one of a handful of later third season episodes with a premise that belongs back in the first year. An investigation of the cause of the Minnow's shipwreck feels random and unimportant at this late stage. It's also not nearly as funny as it should be. To be fair, there is some drama and excitement in the dream sequence, and the characters overall are more grounded and less goofy than usual, but it is no more than a run-of-the-mill outing.
Gilligan and the Skipper listen to a radio broadcast in the cold open featuring word of the Minnow. A maritime board of inquiry has taken its sweet time to reach a verdict that the Skip is solely responsible for the wreck. He wanders around the island feeling guilty and depressed, which is no more entertaining here than it was in Waiting for Watubi or Love Me, Love My Skipper. In fact, it's even less entertaining, as he looks for ways to end it all. A rare bright moment occurs when he secures a long vine to use as a noose, and Gilligan provides his unwitting help. There is a nice character moment for our lead as well when he intervenes. So do the girls when the Skip tries to jump off a cliff.
Thankfully, this dispirited start is brought to an end when the prolific Professor reenacts the fateful voyage to prove the board wrong. In typical overzealous fashion, the castaways build a giant replica of the Minnow's bridge with a pulley system to rock it, under storm conditions created by the girls. The reenactment is very clever, but it's just not as fun as the exercises in Quick Before it Sinks; it relies too much on ancient jokes and feeble gags. It also has a predictable result; of course the Skip's klutzy and inept first mate would be partially responsible, something the Skip should've realized all along.
Gilligan goes into the same funk and recreates the noose bit to less comedic effect. A familiar trope is revisited as the pair retreat to the other side of the island to live out the rest of their days in shame. Before things get too melancholy, Gilligan asks a question about the Board's punishment that opens the door to a random discussion on pirates, and that leads to probably the most random segue into a dream sequence the series has ever had.
The dream sequence doesn't really lift the episode as the past few sequences did; it's exciting in places but light in laughs. Gilligan is Lord Admiral Gilligan, a dashing swashbuckler to rival Errol Flynn. He is on an elegant ship to protect the Queen Mother, Mrs. Howell, and her two daughters, Ginger and Mary Ann. Their ship is accosted by three pirates, played by the Skip, Professor, and Mr. Howell, who has a hook and, as usual, the best lines.
Ultimately, despite the Lord's heroics, the trio capture him and force him to walk the plank, and it's another nightmare ending for our lead. The ending to the episode isn't much better. Another trope is used where a last minute radio broadcast cancels out the previous one and everyone is off the hook.
Aargh.
COCONOTES:
Honestly, Ginger and Mary Ann's clinches should be enough to make any man want to keep on living.
All that effort to build a replica of the Minnow to recreate the wreck, and no one thinks to use the parts to somehow get off the island.
Love Gilligan's delivery of "Anchor line?!"
Well executed and exciting swordplay between Lord Gilligan and the pirates.
The trio have very questionable English accents.
So the Board of Inquiry took nearly three years to reach its conclusion, then reverses itself in a few days?
Gilligan's Island: Take a Dare (1967)
Gilligan is less than daring.
It's difficult to think of any positives when it comes to this formulaic snooze fest. Many of the scenes are tedious; the plot strains credibility; the laughs are scattered; and the guest star fails to elevate or excite the rest of the cast, who go dully through their paces. And they are dull; arguably they are dumber here than in any previous entry.
Gilligan is listening to his favorite radio program, Take a Dare, in the cold open. This week's contestant, one George Barkley, has to spend a week alone on a deserted island without assistance. If he survives the week, Barkley wins a ten thousand dollar grand prize. By pure coincidence, Barkley shows up on our favorite island. Soon, the castaways discover that many of their foodstuffs and supplies are missing. They briefly turn on each other before Gilligan and the Skipper stumble upon Barkley with all of their finery.
Barkley's most valuable possession, though, is his transmitter, which he uses to give the glib Take a Dare host updates on his status. The castaways spend the majority of the episode trying to get Barkley to share it through various means, including bribery, chicanery, and bullying, but he doesn't want to lose the grand prize. He outsmarts the poor saps at every turn, going so far as to pull an Eva Grubb and hide part of the transmitter so it can't be repaired. And, each time he fools them, it becomes more predictable and less fun.
Barkley goes through the usual rounds with the Howells and Ginger. He dumbly believes the Howells are fakes and planted on the isle to fool him. The movie star's typical seduction attempt works well enough to steam up his forehead, but, before things get too interesting, she abruptly gives up when he won't bring the transmitter along on their date.
If at first you don't succeed, Ginger...
Eventually, writer Roland MacLane, who has done better, runs out of these transmitter gags and has Barkley destroy the thing. He keeps a low profile for the next forty-eight hours and waits to be picked up. The castaways figure a boat will return for him and devise 'assigned stations' to keep an eye on the lagoon. Wouldn't you know it, though, that Barkley leaves by another method. Only Gilligan picks this moment to be literal and lets him depart, a fittingly dumb moment for this mainly dumb entry. About the only clever moment is how Barkley gets his comeuppance in the epilogue.
COCONOTES:
Barkley is played by Strother Martin, a veteran character actor who performed in many westerns and tv series as the heavy. Here he portrays his typical slimy, obnoxious villain without leaving much of an impression.
Like how irked Gilligan is at how much loot Barkley would get for surviving a week on the island.
Writer MacLane really doesn't care anymore when it comes to the castaways' supplies. In the first season they eat out of coconut bowls and cups. Here they have silverware and plates. Guess they got them from the same place where the Skipper got his detective magazine and Gilligan his comic books. Just how large was the Minnow anyway?
Best of all, Ginger has a frying pan. Yes, she brought a single frying pan on a three hour boat tour. Yes, she did.
Bob Denver really looks as if he's going through the motions. The only time he perks up is when he describes the weapons they can use on Barkley.
Easy to blame Gilligan for that incredibly dumb helicopter gag, of course, but none of the castaways see or hear it approaching the island.
Gilligan's Island: Gilligan Goes Gung-Ho (1966)
Gilligan has an arresting development.
This is an above average entry that borrows heavily from that other CBS series about a sheriff and his overzealous deputy. Unlike the last handful of episodes, this one is grounded somewhat in reality, a rarity for this fantasy-heavy third season. The simple concept gets nuttier and funnier as it goes along, as good comedy should; the characters get some nice bits, particularly Gilligan, and the ending is expected but reasonable.
In the melodramatic cold open, Gilligan believes he has witnessed the Professor's murder at the hands of Ginger. Their theatrics wouldn't convince a pussycat swallowtail, but no matter; there is enough circumstantial evidence for the Skipper to believe him. After it is revealed the Professor only has a bloody nose, he wonders what the castaways would do in the event of an actual crime.
His solution is to appoint an island sheriff. There isn't a deep bench of candidates; Mr. Howell has an ineffective karate pinky finger and Gilligan is dismissed out of hand. No matter; he becomes a deputy anyway when the Skip is given the job, and our co-leads learn everything they can about law and order.
The new sheriff gets the subplot rolling, too. He shows his deputy phosphorescent rocks he and the Professor found that can be used to spell out a rescue message for passing ships or planes. Purely by coincidence (ahem), a naval plane is conducting a sweep of their area. We cut back and forth between the castaways and the two pilots who looked pretty bored with their mission.
Our lead, though, takes to his duty with the dedication, by-the-book seriousness, and competence of Barney Fife. Mr. Howell is caught borrowing the Skip's binoculars without permission, which is treated as a capital offense, and is naturally thrown into prison. Sheriff Skip is conveniently too busy with the rocks to attend to sheriffing, so Gilligan is left in charge. Power and the quest for law and order immediately go to his head. He arrests everyone on the isle-including the sheriff-on various technicalities and throws them in jail.
All the usual prison clichés are run through as the castaways try to crash out. Gilligan has seen all the prison pictures they've seen and knows all the tricks. The cartoonish action and silly over-the-top acting help to make all the bits work.
Naturally, Gilligan demonstrates one of the picture's scenes and accidentally jails himself, just in time to see another sure fire way to get off the island go up the river.
COCONOTES:
So, all this time Ginger owned a prop gun with blanks? Did it come from the same place as the Skip's binoculars? Clearly, at this point the writers have given up on any kind of realistic continuity for the sake of a gag.
Gilligan references Gunsmoke, calling the Skip Marshal Dillon and limping into the hut like Festus.
The episode clearly borrows from the TAGS episode Andy Saves Barney's Morale, where Barney is left in charge of Mayberry and jails the entire town.
Gilligan's authoritarian demeanor reminds us of his turn as the Skip in Chain of Command.
Major plot hole: the men believe Gilligan being sheriff is preposterous, but they have no problem with his being a deputy and in charge of the island.
Gilligan's Island: All About Eva (1966)
Gilligan meets Ginger's worse half.
Here is the third and thankfully last of the three doppelgänger episodes. The only wrinkle this time is our 'guest' shows up as herself and is transformed into a lookalike by the castaways. Outside of that difference, the entry is as preposterous, contrived, and desperate as the other two. The cleverest part about it is its title.
Gilligan blunders upon a pair of woman's pumps at the lagoon. Next he finds their owner, a drab, shrewish woman in glasses. She is the very aptly named Eva Grubb, who has fled to the island to escape all men, so naturally the first two people she comes across are our lead and the Skipper. We get her underdeveloped backstory told through whiny sobs, and soon we couldn't care less what happens to her. In exchange for being left alone, she agrees to give the castaways the keys to her boat.
With everyone happy with the exchange, the episode should end right here with the castaways sailing off into the sunset. But the nosy group can't leave Eva well enough alone. The Professor frets that in her current depressed state, she may do something drastic, so the group agrees to send the boat back for her to be rescued. Their generosity is spurned, however, when Gilligan blabs their plan. Eva spitefully hides the boat's sparkplugs so that they're all stuck on the isle together. Misery does love company.
Typically, the castaways would hatch another scheme to get the sparkplugs back. But, no, that would make too much sense, and maybe even lead to comedy. Instead, they soft pedal their response, believing if they make Eva feel better about herself, she'll have a reason to return to civilization.
Their solution is to glam up plain Eva. Their makeover is a bit too much on point, however, as she comes out of it looking identical to glamorous Ginger. Identical!
And we have our third doppelganger. (Or doppelginger).
Eva's adjustment in the second half to her new image fails to be interesting. The only lively scene is when she learns she's man crazy and tries to ravage Gilligan. Her other scenes are mainly awkward. She overhears the other girls say that underneath her new beauty is her old dull, Grubby self, and she'll have the same boring lifestyle back in the States.
A random encounter with Mrs. Howell gives her the loopy idea to replace Ginger. She continues the doppelgänger trope of knocking out the real McCoy, tying her up, and taking her place at a castaway party. (Yes, back to back tropes).
To inject some energy into the proceedings, we're given the gag of Eva quick-changing between herself and Ginger at the party. The quick changes are dull, repetitive, and accompanied by sped-up camera work and silly music to convince us how funny it is. The castaways remain oblivious until the real Ginger somehow frees herself in time to blow the whistle on her understudy.
Is Eva punished? No, of course not, because that would make too much sense. The soft-hearted castaways instantly forgive her and let her wander off to think about how ashamed she feels. They're rewarded for the naiveté with the same exact result they received in The Kidnapper.
But at least the audience doesn't have to endure anymore lazy, lethargic lookalikes.
COCONOTES:
Last episode written by veteran Joanna Lee, who wrote two of the three doppelgänger misfires. In this case, two out of three is bad. There are very few laughs and the 'two' Gingers approach is undermined by awkward split-screen effects.
This episode shows why Tina Louise is much better suited to her usual supporting role. She just isn't adept enough to carry an episode as a comedienne. Her Ginger this week is subdued and awkward, whereas her Eva is shrill, boring, and completely unlikeable.
Ginger wears a weird Monroe-like hairstyle that makes it harder to distinguish between them.
Why did they use the exact same hair color in Eva's makeover?
The ominous music at the end of the first act signals how we should feel about her transformation.
"You'll never get away with this." Seriously? Also, Ginger can talk through her gag, but doesn't think to call for help.
Once again, no one guards the boat.
Gilligan's Island: And Then There Were None (1966)
Gilligan meets Agatha Christie.
Here is another third season entry which is saved by its inventive, very funny, and iconic dream sequence. Until it arrives, the episode moves along in fits and starts with a slight plot and little action. Most of the cast are tucked out of sight. But then along comes the dream sequence and all is right with the world.
In the short, simple open, Gilligan assists Mary Ann with hanging the wash. He reminds us he is a sailor by bragging how many different type of knots he can tie. During his discourse, Mary Ann abruptly vanishes.
A search party is organized. While partnered with Gilligan, Ginger disappears in the same area where Mary Ann did. The Professor concludes the two girls have been taken by savages to a nearby island as brides, and Mrs. Howell is the next logical candidate to be snatched. His conclusion is an excuse for Gilligan to cross dress as the socialite in a semi-funny diversion that keeps the episode's direction from getting too dark. The ruse fails, however, and Mrs. Howell is taken anyway.
There are no signs of any headhunters down by the lagoon, so the Professor concludes that his first conclusion was wrong. He speculates that one of the men has gone Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde under the strain of island living and is responsible for the women's disappearance. Gilligan was in the area of all three victims and begins to suspect himself.
Of course, the Professor jumps to this outlandish conclusion (as he did the initial one) without any proof; it's as ridiculous an idea as Gilligan being a murderer in Not Guilty. Yet our lead eats up this silly plot point, and becomes just as obsessed over becoming a Jekyll and Hyde as he did a vampire.
His obsession isn't helped at all by the early morning disappearance of the Professor and Mr. Howell. When he and the Skip go looking for them, and then his big buddy drops out of sight, Gilligan is the last Indian standing. His horror leads into the memorable dream sequence.
The setting is a Victorian court. Gilligan is the sweet, kindly, innocent-looking Dr. Gilligan who is accused of being the mean Mr. Hyde. His defense attorney is Mrs. Howell, who pops in via umbrella as Mary Poppins. Mary Ann is a real stand out as the doctor's character witness, a loud, uncouth Cockney girl out of My Fair Lady. The prosecuting barrister is the smug Professor, who has never lost a case, and his uncle is Judge Lord Armstrong Hanging, ably played by Mr. Howell. The prosecution's key witness is the Lady in Red, a stunning beauty who of course is Ginger. She maintains that Gilligan will turn into Hyde at the mere mention of food.
His trial may be silly and adolescent at times (Gilligan and Ginger's petty squabble, for example), but it contains a number of good lines and is very funny. The Lady in Red's epic recitation of Gilligan food faves is a definite highlight.
After Gilligan's nightmare ends, he stumbles around and drops in on the others for another last minute, seat-of-his-pants save.
COCONOTES:
Kudos to writer Ron Friedman for an inventive script that fits in Agatha Christie, Eliza Doolittle, Mary Poppins, Oscar Wilde, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Gilligan's mastery of knots contradicts his ineptitude in President Gilligan, where he couldn't even tie his own shoelaces.
Jim Backus' melodramatic 'Why, why, why?' speech is hilarious.
Our lead may look cute in pearls, but his voice certainly gets irritating.
Major plot hole: None of the castaways think to call out for help until only Gilligan is on the surface. Where they unconscious most of the episode?
Despite having a defense attorney, Dr. Gilligan mounts his own defense and cross-examines the Lady in Red.
Gilligan's Island: The Kidnapper (1966)
Gilligan meets an insult comic who forgets the insults and comedy.
Normally the guest stars of GI elevate episodes. Not here. It's not the fault of the guest star, who, unfortunately, is only in half the episode. It's that he is miscast as the character is written. The episode also falls below average because it features way too much exposition; has embarrassing slapstick; tired jokes; and the castaways are hopelessly naïve. Sure, there are some good bits here and there, but, for the most part, the good episode was abducted and this dull, exposition-laden one was put in its place.
Exposition dominates the first act. Despite the title, we don't see any actual kidnapping; disappointingly, it all takes place off-camera, and we learn of it through handwritten notes the castaways read aloud. Our mysterious kidnapper (who has really good penmanship) has observed the castaways closely enough to know they have money; his first note demands ten thousand dollars for the return of Mrs. Howell. A pattern is established where a castaway is kidnapped; two other castaways are handpicked to deliver the ransom; the castaway is returned; and rinse and repeat.
Gilligan and the Professor are tapped to deliver Mrs. Howell's ransom to an oak log. Their rescue attempt leads to a lame, cringe-worthy gag where Gilligan winds up upside down, and the Professor-the Professor!-delivers the punch line. It's not worth the effort.
Our guest kidnapper is very productive. No sooner is the bound and gagged Mrs. Howell freed than he has Mary Ann in his clutches. He's also greedy, as he wants double the ransom for her. Mr. Howell is understandably miffed, but he's persuaded to part with more moolah. He and Mrs. Howell team up on his orders to deliver the ransom. This scene is just as funny as the earlier scene.
More exposition follows. Mary Ann races into the Howell's hut to breathlessly tell them how she was held hostage. Gilligan clumsily reads aloud the latest ransom note; now Ginger has been taken, and this time the kidnapper is asking for thirty thousand smackers.
Evidently, writer Ray Singer doesn't believe things that come in threes are funny. He skips the ransom delivery scene this time and cuts straight to Ginger after her rescue. But he doesn't skip the exposition, as the movie star describes her kidnapping in hushed, dramatic tones. She further explains that her kidnapper's plan is to grab the men next and then take it from the top with Mrs. Howell. The Professor counters with a plan to use our lead (surprise) as bait for him; the trap works, and the Skipper captures the kidnapper.
He's held prisoner in the same cage used in Topsy Turvy. There is even more exposition as Norbert Wiley (subtle), provides his backstory about being a compulsive gambler who lands on the isle to escape temptation, sees the castaways, and naturally turns to kidnapping. All it takes is a little sweet talk from him and the gullible castaways are eating out of his palm.
(Yes, that's why you bring Don Rickles on. For sweet talk).
From there, the episode sputters to a predictable end. Ginger believes he can be rehabilitated; we're given another scene of her playing psychiatrist which plays as convincingly as the other scene. The castaways throw Wiley a party to celebrate his instant turnaround and are fleeced silly for their naiveté.
Do they learn a lesson for future installments? Or does his getaway become a trope?
Do you even have to ask, hockey puck?
COCONOTES:
Don's character of Norbert Wiley doesn't fit him. Yes, he does have a shady side, but he comes off as too mild-mannered and earnest to be believable as a kidnapper. He's the single biggest waste of a guest star since Larry Storch back in season one.
Also his appearance must've been really costly since he's relegated to the second half.
Ginger's creepy telling of her kidnapping comes off like fan fiction. "I struggled and struggled, but he was too powerful for me." Also, she adds that sinister laugh to be cute; to show, you know, that there are no hard feelings from being abducted at knife point.
It's chuckle-worthy when Mr. Howell's pants come down.
Once again, no one stands guard at the lagoon.
Gilligan's Island: The Invasion (1966)
Gilligan Bonds with an attaché case.
The third season of GI is known for leaning into its dream sequences quite a bit. This is another episode that would be ordinary with little action without Gilligan's entertaining dream. Just like the other offerings with dream sequences in them, the solid spy spoof lifts the entire episode and gives it its most memorable, iconic moment.
Once again, in the cold open, the trope is used of Gilligan reeling in something important from the lagoon. This time, he and the Skipper uncover an attaché case that is property of the US Government. The sailors are eager to unlock its secrets, but the Professor is a bit more cautious. He's also contradictory: he gets everyone's hearts racing by telling them the case will bring US agents to the island for its recovery and they'll be rescued; then in the next breath tells them to forget all about the case because it's top secret.
Of course, all he does is stoke their curiosity. They take turns trying to wrangle the case from the Professor's hut. Their bits range from the ridiculous (Mr. Howell's cat burglar outfit) to the sublime (Ginger's weekly seduction attempt). After he foils their attempts, he holds another meeting to reiterate the importance of guarding the case. It's an unnecessary meeting, just an excuse for him to accidentally open the case and spy its contents.
In a bid to raise the stakes, Gilligan cuffs himself to the case. This action is followed by a lot of crazy talk about sinister agents coming immediately to take out our lead, which, of course, comes to nothing. Better are the good visual gags and physical humor in the attempts to pry him from the case; the best bit is the Skipper and the Professor trying to yank it off him at the tree.
As in Up at Bat, Gilligan's obsession over what may happen leads into the dream sequence. He dreams he is the super suave Good Guy Secret Agent 014, sort of a cross between Bond and Maxwell Smart. The Professor is his deadpan, goateed Chief. The other castaways are part of the organization opposed to the Good Guys, the cleverly named Evil Organization, and they're all after his briefcase. Their leader is bald, sinister Mr. Howell, who pops up in the most interesting places to offer his team encouragement to eliminate 014.
At first our lead is too clever for his pursuers. He dispatches of the double-dealing girls, invalidating Mary Ann and then giving wife Ginger the big kiss-off. The goofiest role far and away goes to the Skipper, who disguises himself as 014's mother, and is done in by his own soup. But he soon runs into the Howells. Mrs. Howell's bit role as a secretary is largely extraneous, but Mr. Howell shines as he tries to deliver the knockout blow to 014.
Alas, his dream ends, he uncuffs himself in the tidiest way, and we're left with another last minute, weak, unsatisfying anticlimax.
COCONOTES:
In a rarity, both Gilligan and the Skip are fishing together in the cold open.
Mr. Howell brought a cat burglar outfit on a three hour tour. Yes, he did.
That hiding bit at the table is chuckle-worthy.
Minor plot hole: Gilligan and the others are stressed that he's going to be killed by g men. With no evident tracking device, how would they know the case is on a tiny uncharted island that a fleet of Navy ships haven't been able to locate?
Love the Professor's delivery of "Heavens to Betsy!"
Mary Ann's sultry double agent is obviously inspired by Get Smart's Agent 99.
Mr. Howell's Mr. Evil is clearly modeled on Bond's Blofeld. Love how he drowns before he finishes the motto.
The Skip's disguise is reminiscent of Jonathan Winter's Maude Frickert.
"Besides, my real mother is a woman!"
Gilligan's Island: Ring Around Gilligan (1966)
Gilligan slaves over the plot.
It may have a thin plot, not be terribly funny, and taper off in the second act, but this episode is entertaining all the same. It's largely due to the return of a popular guest star and some fun, provocative moments. Too bad it's not more inventive.
Mad scientist Boris Balinkoff no longer switches minds; he controls them. He pops up in the cold open to secretly plunk Gilligan with his latest invention, a shiny ring. Our lead is so taken with it he wears it to sleep. In his lair (the all-purpose cave used every week), the doctor uses a two-way radio and a bulky panel to turn Gilligan into a slave by remote control. Hypnotized, he blindly follows orders, which isn't that much different from how he is awake, and doesn't remember a thing when he's back to consciousness. Other than provide exposition, Balinkoff sadly doesn't do much with him.
Balinkoff's ring is passed around from castaway to castaway, and each one submits to his spell. The Skipper is commanded to destroy Gilligan's raft, as there is some nonsense about a change in the current allowing the castaways to escape the island. Mrs. Howell is used to deliver a suitcase to him full of Howell cash. The sexiest robot without a doubt is glamorous Ginger, dressed in a leopard-print swim suit. She is also used to smash the raft in a predictable gag. A smack to Balinkoff's face prevents any, ahem, adult situations.
What a waste.
Most of the fun is in the first act. The second act bogs down shortly after Gilligan is hypnotized by Igor, Balinkoff's monkey assistant. Instead of spending more time with the mad scientist, we're given a long, padded, cringe-worthy scene of our lead aping J. Fred Muggs. When the entry remembers to get back to the plot, Balinkoff now has a whole ring collection, and he orders Gilligan to pass them out to the others.
Balinkoff uses the hypnotized castaways as guinea pigs. His diabolical plan is to rob Fort Knox. There is a trial run with coconuts which is successful, then a larger scale run. These scenes are slow, boring, and repetitive; there isn't anything funny about watching the castaways slowly gather and transport coconuts. Even Balinkoff gets bored and orders them to work faster, and we get that lame, sped-up camera work that at most gets scattered laughs.
Writer John Fenton Murray didn't know how to end the episode because it just tapers off with a weak gag. A few wayward coconuts cause our big bad to flee without completing his experiment, and we never learn what happened with his plan. The castaways don't remember a thing, and we wish we could relate, at least for the second act.
COCONOTES:
Vito Scotti makes his record fourth and final appearance in the series. As always, he does a great job with the material he's given, but gets less screen time than he deserves.
No explanation is given for how Igor, last seen as a dog, is now a monkey. Or how both baddies escaped from their previous animal incarnations.
Once again, Gilligan can understand monkey gibberish.
Those castaways are really, really sound sleepers.
Balinkoff's silly, diabolical plan is an obvious nod to Goldfinger.
Gilligan's Island: Topsy-Turvy (1966)
Gilligan gets turned upside down.
Going by the title, this episode wants to be a fun and nutty romp. Instead, it turns out to be another mixed bag; fairly dry, even suspenseful in spots, but derivative in a lot of places. The humor is uneven and dated. Still, it has a pretty entertaining story and, though it lags around the middle, rallies nicely at the finish.
Yet another group of headhunters are working the drums in preparation of an invasion of the island. In a mad dash to warn the others, Gilligan runs smack dab into a tree branch and knocks himself silly. In comparison to Hi-Fi Gilligan, this collision leaves him in good voice but seeing everything upside down. Shortly after we have our first trope: the Professor just happens to have a book on Gilligan's ailment, conducts a bit of research, and concludes that all the ingredients needed to cure Gilligan are right there on the island.
Well, okay, it's only one item this time--the keptibora berry--but you get the point.
The drumbeats stop and the castaways believe they're in the clear. Unfortunately for them, the three savages who have landed on the isle merely have a hole in their drum. (Good equipment is hard to find).
So the castaways are dispatched in pairs to hunt for berries while Gilligan fumbles around in the Professor's lab to extract a few laughs. The klutz does enough damage to be sent outside to wait for the others. Enough berries are collected to produce the Professor's formula. The Howells, in a nice touch, are very proud of the two whole berries they plucked.
The antidote of keptibora extract turns out to have unstable properties, and causes Gilligan to see two of everything. His double vision isn't as funny as it should be as it's undermined by shoddy camera effects and played for more cheap laughs. A particularly weak gag has Gilligan duck under a headhunter's blade just in time to miss being scalped.
Another trope occurs as the castaways, in the course of gathering more berries, are ambushed by the savages, taken into the jungle, and held hostage in a bamboo prison.
Meantime, to create more humor, more extract is added to the mix. Gilligan now sees five images, as if he's a fly. Funny, no?
No.
Nothing happens with this new condition anyway as the Professor dilutes the extract with water and Gilligan's vision is restored. This solution comes just in time for him to see the Professor and the Skipper captured and realize he hasn't been hallucinating.
Gilligan's cleverness from the first season returns in his bid to rescue the others. His plan is simple and works just as he lays it out, and, in the last trope, the savages flee in overly cute sped-up fashion.
COCONOTES:
Eddie Little Sky makes his third and final appearance in the series as a headhunter.
Another savage is played by LA Rams and Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Roman Gabriel.
Major blooper: The rear wall of the native's triangular prison is missing.
The Skip and Mr. Howell certainly have short-term memory when he comes to the chances of Gilligan rescuing them.
Gilligan's Island: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (1966)
Gilligan can't get the white out.
Gilligan's vanity about his appearance gratefully resurfaces in this above average outing. It's much better and funnier than its punny title would suggest. The premise is straightforward and believable; the pacing brisk; and, even though our lead is front and center, most of the castaways get their moments to sparkle.
Laundry duty has worn out Gilligan. The Skipper sends him to bed, chiding him for not being able to pace himself. He wakes the next morning and is shocked to discover that his hair has turned white. He and the Skip go to the Professor for an explanation, but he's of little help and doesn't think Gilligan's change in hair color is that big of a deal.
On the other hand, the girls faint.
Our lead's confidence is further shaken when he accidentally overhears the Professor telling the Skip he could have a rare disease that causes him to age rapidly. Unlike Meet the Meteor, this time that plot point works successfully. Gilligan goes to the extreme; in a really good series of scenes, he putters around like a senior citizen, talking in an old man's voice, wearing specs, and rocking out in his chair. He gathers his 'children' around him for the reading of his will. The best offering has to be a starched sock for the Skip that stands straight up.
Nothing can snap Gilligan the geezer out of his funk, not even a springtime declaration of love from Mary Ann. Her sizzling smooch only serves to harden his...arteries.
Mrs. Howell and the Professor combine to create a brown hair dye and secretly apply it to his scalp while he sleeps. This plan predictably backfires as the dye causes our lead's hair to fall out. Neither the Professor nor the Skip can talk him down; Mrs. Howell can't look him in the eye without snickering; and the girls faint again.
Yet again we have the trope of Gilligan moving to the other side of the island to live out his remaining days in seclusion in that same old cave. It's followed by the trope of the girls attempting to lure him back, this time with wigs. Meantime, the Skipper takes over laundry duty, experiences the same sudden male pattern baldness Gilligan did, and, embarrassed, joins his little buddy in the cave.
A speech where the Professor actually admits the two baldies do most of the work convinces them to come home, and they are outfitted in two ridiculous-looking Revolutionary War wigs. The scene that follows at the dinner table could be straight out of a Laurel and Hardy film. We're treated to good, old-fashioned corny slapstick as the wigs dance and spin and drown in soup.
A hole in Mr. Howell's trousers causes the Professor to connect the dots between our duo's baldness and the new crude bleach Gilligan has been using for the laundry. Guess they switch to a different brand.
COCONOTES:
It's really difficult to believe Gilligan has the strength to hold up both girls.
Really good reaction shots from Bob Denver as he sees himself in the mirror. Like the little whimper when he notices he's lost his hair.
"I'll have a hard bald egg."
The love scene between Gilligan and Mary Ann would work better without her overly dramatic tone.
Wondering why any of the castaways would even have Revolutionary War wigs.
Nice of Ginger's dress to remain in one piece until Gilligan wraps it in a towel. (Or disappointing depending on your point of view).
Gilligan's Island: Man with a Net (1966)
Gilligan chases after a butterfly and some laughs.
This is another episode which falls firmly in the middle of the pack. The ingredients are there for a comic romp a la Voodoo: a solid guest star; a ridiculous plot to hang gags on; and a group scavenger hunt. But it never really pops, mainly because it becomes redundant and pretty ordinary in the second act, and the ending is predictable and a bit of a letdown.
Gilligan's head gets caught in the open by a Briton with a large net. As usual, the Skipper doesn't believe his story until he sees the Briton for himself. He is noted butterfly collector Lord Beasley Waterford, hot on the trail of the pussycat swallowtail, the rarest specimen in the world. They find out Lord Beasley has a boat and a flare gun, and he'll let them and the other castaways return to civilization with him. All they have to do is help him catch the swallowtail. In fact, he nearly nets it, until our lead yelps for joy over his news and causes his first miss.
Lord Beasley is initially a fun and interesting character. He is so singularly focused on catching the butterfly that he is oblivious to both his surroundings and the desperation of the castaways to leave the island. All the early scenes are solid. While on safari with the Howells, he nearly sinks in quicksand; the girls watch him do some accidental cliff diving. The best scene, though, is when the Professor, in a bid to connect with Lord Beasley, tries to show off his butterfly knowledge and gets caught using crib notes.
To show his level of absurd dedication, he even walks by the group in a diving suit.
He becomes less fun and interesting as a martinet leading his castaway regiment. His followers soon spend the rest of the entry trying to go AWOL. Their plots against him aren't any more fun than his militarism and are ineffective.
There are the usual formulaic attempts at bribery and seduction. Lord Beasley gives little attention to Mr. Howell's bribe, and Ginger's pillow talk ends with a stinging rejection.
Frustrated, the castaways conspire to get Lord Beasley drunk on a concoction made from fermented berries. Their plan to drink him under the table works as effectively here as it did with the Russian cosmonauts. The scene has its moments, but has a very anticlimactic finish. Once again, the castaways outsmart themselves (if that's possible), and Lord Beasley gets his man.
COCONOTES:
Veteran character actor John McGiver does a commendable job as the stuffy Lord Beasley. His dry wit and understated style works very well in places. He is known for his work in such films as Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Manchurian Candidate, and The Glass Bottom Boat.
Given how rare the Pussycat Swallowtail is supposed to be, we see two of them--one yellow, one orange-- within moments of each other.
Now the island has a mountain. It's pretty obvious that's a rear projection shot as Lord Beasley climbs its side.
The girls continue to somehow build their wardrobe. Mary Ann sports three different outfits in the span of a day we haven't seen before.
Gilligan's Island: Where There's a Will (1966)
Gilligan meets an old bore of a plot.
After three solid outings in a row, the third season takes a step back with its second clunker of the year. This episode is standard issue, only marginally funny, and relies too much on misunderstanding and the idiot plot to be successful. It's very uneven; for every scene that works, there are two that misfire. But what really hurts it is, like in Waiting for Watubi or Gilligan Gets Bugged, it's simply too somber and downbeat to be enjoyable. Even the always reliable Howell presence can't help this one find a way.
The cold open establishes the tone of the episode as Mary Ann delivers a floral bouquet to the Howells, accompanied by some really sad musical notes. Mr. Howell is bed-ridden with what he thinks is a terrible, mysterious malady, and his end is near. But that plot was already taken by Gilligan Gets Bugged, so this time his diagnosis is a simple tummy ache.
He is so overwhelmed by the others' compassion that he decides to amend his will to leave them all something valuable. In a very good scene, Mr. Howell presents them with his tokens of appreciation, the best being his gift to the Skipper: forty acres of downtown Denver. It's a certainly better scene than the endless squabbling by the castaways over their deeds, acting like kids at Christmas. After all, their benefactor is still very much alive.
It's here that the plot finally presents itself. Mr. Howell goes to check in on his adoring beneficiaries and finds them acting strangely. He narrowly escapes an arrow from Gilligan and the Skipper. He falls into a pit dug by the girls, then dodges a boulder seemingly pushed by the Professor. His pretty reasonable conclusion is the others are trying to collect their bounties a little bit early by, you know, trying to kill him.
From that shockwave, though, the episode begins its steady decline. The castaways decide to throw the Howells a surprise party (another well-worn trope) to show their gratitude and have a wild boar as their evening meal. Mr. Howell overhears them talking and jumps to the conclusion that he is their quarry and barricades himself in his hut. His misunderstanding can be cleared up by a few simple questions, of course, but is prolonged for comedic effect and goes on until Mrs. Howell gets to the bottom of it.
What little fun there is during this tone-deaf episode is Mr. Howell on the run from the men's search party and the odd one-liner. It doesn't last long. There is another misunderstanding where he fakes his own demise, and the entry goes back to being dour and mournful. There are no chuckles in watching the castaways weep away at a fake funeral. Mr. Howell's clumsy pratfall out of a tree brings the service to a close, and the mourners are so grateful he is still alive they give him a pass on the whole fake 'I've gone to that great big mansion in the sky' deal.
If only we could give a pass to the whole episode.
COCONOTES:
Mr. Howell has apparently never had a stomach ache before.
The Professor has a bamboo stethoscope that's never seen or used again.
Once again, the castaways' supplies mysteriously continue to grow. In the medical scene, the girls have matching nurse outfits and Mr. Howell has his own ice pack.
For the second time in the series, Gilligan is gifted an oil well by Mr. Howell.
Just wondering how the Skip is going to use a fleet of yachts in downtown Denver.
Also wondering how a wild boar wound up on the island.