Francois84 Reviews

Joe (I) (2013)

Bland, uninspired, poorly delivered.

[4/10 · 6 November 2022]

I went into this hoping to see a good Nicholas Cage movie. Whilst his acting here isn't bad, it's nothing to write home about, either. Perfectly watchable, but that's it. It's not that I think Cage can't act, but I think he didn't have much to work with here, not least as his supposed anti-hero character is more unlikable than likeable, though yes he's obviously one of the better characters in the film, I didn't like the way his character was written and some of his weird behaviour. Also, the bond between him and the lad just wasn't developed to a convincing level.

Pacing is badly off, a very slow moving movie with little in the way of any story or character cohesion, rather boring. The main antagonists were as poorly developed as the heroes. Virtually none of it worked.

The lighting in the film is poor. I've seen dark looking movies where just the right amount of light is captured but this is poorly done.

Ultimately I think this is a predicable sub-par tale poorly executed and told. Also, just in case we didn't get it in the title of the movie, almost every character reminds us repeatedly the name of the principal character played by Cage. I am truly quite baffled how this movie received the critical positives it did.

Let the Right One In (2008)

Watchable

[6/10 · 28 October 2022]

An overrated Swedish movie, apparently adapted from a nobel by a Swedish author. Everything is very flat in this movie, the dialogue, the acting, the storytelling, the drab washed out look and cinematography. I can't help but feel that the praise heaped on this movie yet another case of the Emperor's New Clothes, people getting on board to join in the crowd. I've seen this more than once, just in case I'd misjudged it. But both times I was bored. Non of the characters have much of an arc, whether that be Okay, Eli, the bullies, or those who know the victims of those killed. It really is bland storytelling. I also can't help but wonder if people praise these movies to seem fashionable with supporting foreign cinema simply for the mere sake of it. There is good foreign cinema, but I wouldn't count this movie among them. Average.at best.

The Wicker Man (1973)

Masterclass

[10/10 · 23 October 2022]

The Wicker Man is a masterclass is filmmaking. Great casting, acting, direction, and pacing. Both the late Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee are fantastic, but especially Woodward. The setting, film on location in a Scottish isle, is beautiful. The music all the way through is mesmerising, from the beautiful choral signing of the church congregation and choir at the beginning, to the folky music playing at Summerisle. This is one of my favourite films, a great slow burn mystery thriller and disturbing horror. They don't make movies like this anymore sadly, times have changed, and the acting class of Woodward and Lee isn't here anymore.

The Guard (2011)

Dire

[1/10 · 9 September 2022]

It's not funny, it's not interesting. The story and pacing is all over the place, and the main character played by Gleeson isn't likeable. Yeah, we all love an anti-hero or lovable rogue, someone who isn't squeaky clean, but has relatable, redeeming qualities we can admire. This isn't it. Two murders - one a colleague - and half the movie in, and Gleeson's character hasn't done any police work, instead just had his day off, drinks at the pub, sleeps creepily with young call girls. A lovable rogue this does not make. It's also clichéd about the English and Irish, quite pathetically. If you can get ahold of it, watch another Irish movie called 'Calm with Horses' (aka 'The Shadow of Violence'). That was good crime, drama, with a roigh and ready lead character who you can root for despite his many flaws. It also had a couple of funny moments and excellent moments of tension and good storytelling. Give a miss to 'The Guard', a total waste of time.

No Time to Die (2021)

'Plenty of Time to Cry'

[5/10 · 2 October 2021]

Because the 2 hours and 43 minutes runtime and stodgy pacing will likely bore you to tears.

The Swarm (2020)

Unengaging nothingness

[2/10 · 15 August 2021]

What have I just watched? This is a movie without either a story to tell or character arcs. It quite literally goes nowhere for 1 hour and 40 minutes and just ends. The makers didn't run out of ideas, they just didn't have any to begin with. The cast had nothing to work with. Even if it is low budget, which it is, I can't understand why anyone thought it was a good idea to make this movie, except maybe to scrape a bit of money together. You'll have more enjoyment watching the end credits roll.

Dogs (2018– )

Should be called 'People and their dog/s'

[6/10 · 23 July 2021]

I've only watched this show because my other half wanted to watch it. It's quite relaxing given some of the atmospheric music, and it is well filmed. But as some other reviewers have noted, the title is misleading. It isn't really about dogs. Yes, yes, each episode features a dog or dogs and, to a superficial degree, the connection to their owners or business. But the focus of the show does feel confused, often unfocused, and ultimately quite pointless. I got this right from the first episode, and it continues more or less throughout every episode, as if the producers didn't know what it wanted to be, but for ease simply called it 'Dogs', because well, each episode features at least one dog. Even so despite this, it's still watchable enough. Measure your expectations and if you have a TV and sound system that can take advantage of the Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos, that will at least partly make up for this mistitled Netflix series.

Enough (I) (2002)

Sub-par

[5/10 · 29 May 2021]

It's watchable, but partly as there's a certain 'It's so bad it's good' quality about it. The characters are caricatures, especially the bad husband, and quite a few parts made me unintentionally laugh out loud. Not terrible, definitely below average.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Dross

[1/10 · 22 May 2021]

Seriously, who actually likes this nonsensical mindless rubbish?! It's excruciatingly bad. It's not even a guilty pleasure. It's not even entertaining. Now his 'Dawn of the Dead' remake was great B-movie fun. But this is just plain bad. The humour is so forced that the film is desperately trying to make you laugh but fails miserably. And there's too many moments of exposition for characters I couldn't care less about, during moments of imminent danger where you wouldn't just be stood around chewing the fat, bearing your soul, or trying to make up for years of not being present as a parent. Zack Snyder has plumbed new depths and has somehow received a relatively positive reception for this travesty of filmmaking. It really does make me despair for the film industry that this can be made and worse, be liked by so many people. Save 180 minutes of your life and avoid.

Calm with Horses (2019)

Excellent

[10/10 · 29 April 2021]

A modern classic, 'Calm with Horses' despite its somewhat unusual title, is a simple yet effective story well told, with solid pacing and good acting performances by all the cast, with a likable, anti-hero lead character. There's a great use of music, and without any spoilers, there's some really tense and emotional moments.

Red Dot (2021)

Surprised

[7/10 · 25 April 2021]

Given the current poor aggregate on here, I was surprised how much I enjoyed this. That being said, I've seen quite a few movies in my time where I've either liked or disliked a movie against nthe grain. The story is simple yet effectively told, and the acting is very good by the cast. Definitely worth a watch. 4/5*

Look Away (2018)

That's right, look away...

[2/10 · 3 April 2021]

.... because I wish I'd done as the title suggests, and not watched it.

Run (I) (2020)

Like some.....

[3/10 · 2 April 2021]

... piss poor cross between 'Carrie' and 'Misery', about a quarter as good (and that's being generous), for modern audiences.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

Entertaining

[7/10 · 19 February 2021]

A pleasant surprise, not least as I didn't expect much from this one. When I first saw it advertised, I anticipated a doozy. But it's actually an entertaining Star Wars blockbuster. I thought the casting was reasonably good as well. Definitely worth a watch, and after 'Rogue One', this is my probably the best Star Wars movie since the original trilogy.

The Nightingale (I) (2018)

English evil, Aborigine saintly, Irish somewhere inbetween.

[6/10 · 19 February 2021]

It's a reasonably entertaining film. But this isn't history. This is a prejudiced, ignorant, and warped portrayal of the past. And unfortunately many people lap up this propaganda as if it is factual. One reviewer on here states that, "Not much is known of these happenings", and goes on to say with a non-sequitor of the century by claiming, "...but this was a stark reality of those days back then...". Erm, if we don't know what happened, how can you know that these things were a stark reality, implying that was widespread and commonplace? Unfortunately people believe what they want to believe, and most people love a revenge tale, because we can sympathise with the desire to even a score, or seek justice, had we ourselves been wronged. But this film is not an accurate portrayal of British colonialism. It is actually beyond a caricature of the past and only serves to reinforce our modern day misunderstanding and ignorance of it. It's a rewriting of history, and many know what Orwell said of rewriting the past in his book '1984', it serves a modern agenda. However, despite the nonsense of the story and characters, and the needlessly gratuitous violence, the film still has its merits. The acting is certainly decent enough, the film is nicely shot, though the choice of framing it in 4:3 really doesn't bring any benefits. And some of the singing and poetic parts of the film are quite nice. It's certainly watchable provided you acknowledge that this isn't any way representative of British colonial history. Empires around the world have risen and fallen. The USA still has a contiguous land empire is all but name. But of all those that came and went, and still exist, the British actually ruled far more benevolently than any other before or since. No, I'm not advocating conquests and colonialism. I believe countries should have the right to independence and self-determination. But this is a fact. The British Empire was the most far reaching and benign of all the Empires in history. Yet, you wouldn't know that with films like this which seek to rewrite history. Watch it but with a pinch of salt.

Haywire (2011)

A decent action thriller

[8/10 · 15 February 2021]

Don't be put off by many of the poor reviews and generally low aggregated rating here. 'Haywire' is a solid action thriller, with good fight and action scenes, and good use of music, and solid direction. The pace moves along swifty and fits plenty in within the lean 93 minutes runtime. I'm not sure why so many people didn't like this enjoyable movie. To each either own, I suppose. But I think it's more than worth a watch.

News of the World (2020)

Snooze of the World

[5/10 · 15 February 2021]

'News of the World' isn't a bad movie as such. But nor is it a good one, either. Although nothing is particularly outright terrible about it, well except perhaps some of the script which is dull, and especially weak dialogue amongst some of the bad guys they encounter, it's all quite unengaging, boring, and falls flat. There is very little, besides the cinematography, that really grabs you an draws you into the film. Apparently the two main lead characters bond, but I'm not quite sure when and how, because director Paul Greengrass doesn't really want to let us in on it. There's very little chemistry between the two main protagonists that gives you reason to believe that they connect with each other deep down, and not much that really made me relate and connect to the characters and their situation either, meaning that as a result, I didn't care about them. It's a shame, because I was really hoping to enjoy this movie, not least as I like westerns in general. But I just found my attention wandering on far too many occasions during this one to enjoy and recommend it.

Escape Room (I) (2019)

Terrible

[1/10 · 9 January 2021]

This is one of the worst, most mind-numbingly awful movies I've seen in a while. There is nothing good about it. It's abysmal in every conceivable way. No tension, suspense, or horror, well except in the form of bad acting and a ludicrous plot. It becomes comically bad, especially towards the end, I actually laughed a few times. The directing is amateurish as well. Who actually likes this drivel? I mean, it currently stands at 6.5 aggregate on IMDb, which is quite unbelievable. I'm surprised it's anything above a 4.0. Truly, mind-bogglingly awful.

David Brent: Life on the Road (2016)

Painful

[2/10 · 19 December 2020]

I loved the British 'Office'. It was great when broadcast, and still holds up now. It's one of the great modern British sitcoms. But this is just painful to watch, like a parody and caricature of David Brent. It seemed very forced in many ways. Give it try, but expect disappointment.

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

Begins quite well...

[4/10 · 19 December 2020]

....but then decides to be a meandering mess that ultimately goes nowhere. Don't believe me? See for yourself and make up your own mind. Sure, the continuous one shot is a neat trick for plenty of the movie until it stops being continuous, but like any one trick sideshow pony, it wears thin if there is nothing else carrying the main event. 2/5*

Logan (2017)

Drastically overrated

[6/10 · 15 December 2020]

'Logan' is a drastically overrated. There is so much wrong with it, that I feel even giving it six stars might be too generous. I've seen it twice, a couple of years apart, just to ensure that it wasn't a mood thing that affected my judgment the first time round. And lo, all the misgivings I had were still there, plain to see. I could write a long winded review why I think this is, but after watching the film again, I found a page on 'Screen Rant' enumerating '15 reasons Logan is overrated', and it comprehensively lays out all of the problems I had with it better than I could explain here, from bad writing, poor use of characters familiar and new, and much, much more. I'm amazed at how both critics and audiences have swooned over this movie. I really wanted to enjoy it, but in a nutshell, it's all quite vapid and boring. Personally, I much preferred the previous film, 'The Wolverine', also directed by James Mangold.

Knives Out (2019)

Parlour Tricks

[4/10 · 14 November 2020]

Pretentious, sideshow rubbish. If you want an honest, methodical, murder mystery, read the Sherlock Holmes novels by Arthur Conan Doyle. Unpretentious, yet fantastic, utterly absorbing, and logical.

The Lighthouse (I) (2019)

Greatness marred by ungreatness

[7/10 · 6 October 2020]

'The Lighthouse' is directed and co-wrote by Robert Eggers, the same guy who directed (and I think wrote, or maybe co-wrote?) 'The Witch', a low-key horror movie set in the 1700's (I think), which seem to really nail the period setting really well in terms of bleakness and spoken dialogue.

Anyway, this one is set a bit later, in early 1900's, about two men tasked by being caretakers to a lighthouse. The acting by both Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson is superb, but especially by Dafoe. This is some of the best character acting I've seen in some time. He really deserves an award for this performance. Similarly to 'The Witch', the look of the film feels authentic for the period, as does the spoken dialogue. Not that I'm an expert. So the acting, cinematography, and spoken dialogue is very effective. Unfortunately, I found myself being quite bored at times. There are isolated moments and flourishes of intrigue and greatness, but I found they quickly petered out. The flow of events were disjointed and fragmented, and didn't really serve the whole. In a way, you could say that the movie was less than the sum of some of its considerable strengths, but was let down by general bizarreness for the sale of it, and the likelihood is you'll be left with the sense of, 'What the hell did I just watch'? Whilst some films explain far too much, this one felt the need to explain nothing, and seemingly aimed to deliberately confound its audience. I reckon o could watch it again, because there is so much to like about this film. I just felt it fell short of greatness and lulled too often for it to be recommended without reservation.

The Villainess (2017)

Boring, convoluted, and empty

[2/10 · 24 September 2020]

Seriously, what was this rubbish? Boring, unnecessarily complicated, silly, overtop action, overacting, and empty characters. Sorry, we were supposed to care about any of them? Do yourself a favour, save two hours of your life.

The Old Guard (2020)

Boring Drek

[1/10 · 26 July 2020]

Boring and an abysmally amateurish script. The acting wasn't great either, but I suppose the cast didn't have a lot to work with here. How drek like this not only gets green-lit but receives positive critical praise is beyond me. Save your time and avoid.