book addict Reviews

Winning London (2001 Video)

They bug me...

[30 December 2003]

I just really don't like all the straight-to-video movies MK&A do. When are they NOT on holiday in France/Rome/Britain/Australia/the Bahamas? Since Passport to Paris, all they have done is travel films, and they all follow the same formula...by the way, how come they meet a LORD? I've lived in Britain all my life, and I've never met a Lord - and I'm sure, if I did, they wouldn't be that stereotypically pompous. And Jesse Spencer? Didn't he use to be in NEIGHBOURS?????

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1981)

Brilliant!

[29 June 2003]

This was made before I was born so lots of the special effects do look pretty cheesy (Zaphod's head obviously, and the sperm whale) - but I'm a hoopy frood who knows where her towel is, I can overlook this. Abolutely wonderful! This is brilliant! I only have two complaints: Trillian. TRILLIAN IS NOT MEANT TO BE A DUMB BLONDE. She is MEANT to have a degree in maths and another in astrophysics and have, and I quote, 'long waves of black hair'. And: why did they leave out the Nutri-Matic Machine????? I love that machine! But they did show Arthur drinking the substance that was almost, but not entirely unlike tea (and grimacing appropriately). I thought it might have a bad ending, but it was a surprisingly good one, with Arthur and Ford walking off discussing a planet used in a game of snooker that got sucked into a black hole. And the Paranoid Android rocks! Ultimate Question: How many reviews will there be once I post this? Answer: 42.

A Knight's Tale (2001)

Not bad, but GET RID OF SOSSAMAN!

[5 May 2003]

This was quite good. Some people have commented on the music choice. I really love We Will Rock You, but the dances got a little too modern. Nobody important would have dared to dance like that. Heath Ledger is really cute, especially when he cuts his hair, but Jocelyn spoils it all. She's really ugly, and sets it off with mustard-coloured dresses and red-and-green dyed hair that makes her head look like a pineapple. I still think William should have taken off with the blacksmith Kate, who is prettier by far, doesn't demand he lose his jousts, and the actress is brilliant. Shanynn Sossamon is completely wooden. It's hard to believe William could fall for someone so horrible. She told him to lose his jousts, for god's sakes! I hope I never see that awful pineapple hair ever again. Oh, and Chaucer - wonderful. He rocks.

Our Lips Are Sealed (2000)

This was bad.

[17 April 2003]

All you MK&A fans out there, please accept the facts: the twins' movies are mindless pieces of junk. They go to some exotic location, meet some *cough* 'hot' boys, (MK falls in love with one, A falls in love with the other, and surprise surprise, both boys fall in love with the right one - that's not always how love is) some big problem arises separating the poor girls from their loves (big deal - they'll have brand-new boyfriends next movie), MK&A solve the problem (WOW, never saw that coming) and become the 'hot' guys' girlfriends. They were cute when they were younger, but now they're teens, they've lost the cute twin thing, and their lack of talent is revealed. They even tried to make a movie about turning sixteen. Oh, and they made dolls strung around that flimsy theme. Millions of people turn sixteen every day. Mary Kate and Ashley are nothing special... And the sad truth is that they're not all that attractive.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Not the best, but v. entertaining

[16 March 2003]

In my opinion, Sean Connery is good as Bond here. And for all the people who hate this film, I have two quotes: 'U is for Umbrella. We take it lest it rains. We hope we shan't want it till we're home again.' 'I'm Plenty! Plenty O'Toole!' Yes, although not the best, this is funny! I liked Tiffany's hair changes (Weren't you a blonde when I came in? I tend to notice little things like that), and thought she was a good Bond Girl, but Plenty is prettier, has a cooler name, and is less forgettable. Oh yeah, and: 'Miss Case is quite attractive...for a lady!'

Snow White: The Fairest of Them All (2001 TV Movie)

Not bad, could have been better

[23 February 2003]

First things first: Miranda Richardson is wonderful in this movie. Absolutely brilliant. And next: This movie could have been lots better. Kristen Kreuk or whatever her name is, tries hard but is far too unresponsive and passive as the fairest of them all. This movie strays from the true tale of Snow White far too much. I mean, anyone can forgive a few minor changes, but this was really, really different. I'm not saying it should be a Disney's Snow White clone (although, Disney's version is absolutely wonderful and always melts my heart!), but it should have stayed a little more true to the story. Enough with the criticism. Even though there were major differences, there were nice touches on old things, such as the way Elspeth is told she is not the fairest one of all (Snow White's figure leans out of the mirror(s) and says 'I am. I am. I am the fairest of them all.'). Oh, and I'm glad that the evil queen is beautiful. Overall, 5 out of 10.

Cinderella (1950)

Quite good

[23 February 2003]

I always thought that Cinderella was a slightly weak heroine, and you'd have to reinvent her to make her at all interesting (which Ever After successfully did). It's a nice story though, aside from the fact that Prince Charming looks almost exactly like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty's princes...the stepmother is very good, and I liked how they made sure the mysterious gal at the ball WAS Cinderella (the glass slipper broke, Cinderella showed them that she had the other), because I always thought it was slightly vague for her to be judged on her foot-size.

All in all, this is a nice story, but it doesn't make my heart melt like Snow White did. 6 out of 10.

The Snowman (1982 TV Short)

Wonderful

[22 December 2002]

Many other people have used exactly these words to describe this short animation, but I am using them again: beautiful and heartbreaking. Walking Through the Air = wonderful song, open the floodgates. I watched this every single year of my life, and I always love it. I prefer them version without Bowie's introduction - because he says 'one very special Christmas' or something of that sort, and it sort of implies that the Snowman isn't built again next year, but I am positive he is built again!

Little Women (1994)

Brilliant, brilliant! Praise behold!

[16 September 2002]

Little Women is, without a doubt, one of my favourite books. And this movie is, without a doubt, one of my favourite movies. It really makes the March house seem real! Winona and Clare are brilliant! Jo is one of the best characters in the entire cosmos. Amy could use a bit of work, because the older Amy was too different in personality. I know that the character changes, but Amy just seems like two different people. Oh, and Meg was wonderful - just as sweet, beautiful, and proper as I imagined! I might have chosen to film Amy's striking in more detail, perhaps inside the actual classroom, but they did it well too.

And how could I forget - Beth drying! It was so sad! It always makes me cry! Extra, extra fantastic acting from Ryder and Danes. The music there is just so...moving. The scene that rips my heart out is Laurie's proposal to Jo. It just makes me want to step in there, and MAKE Jo accept it! 10/10. No, scratch that, 11/10.

Blackadder Goes Forth (1989)

Masterpiece

[28 August 2002]

I adore this series, and the whole Blackadder dynasty. This is probably my favourite, the first episode I saw being 'General Hospital'.

The jokes are amazingly funny (an invitation from Pope Gregory IX, 'oh let him off your Honour!', Archie Duke shooting an ostrich 'cause he was hungry), the actors are perfect.

Goodbyeee: This episode is wonderfully funny and terribly moving. Baldrick says his first sensible line in four series: "Why can't we just stop, sir? Why can't we just say 'no more killing, let's all go home'? Why would it be so stupid just to pack it in, sir, why?!" If this sort of a situation can prompt a dimwit such as Baldrick to say something sensible, then it must be bad. Who am I kidding? That war was horrible, as demonstrated by the final moments. Spoiler alert: Blackadder, Baldrick, George, and Darling go over the top. Bullets rain down on them, they're in slow motion. We can't see exactly what's happening, because it's all fogged up. After a while, the figures fade, revealing a grey, barren place as cannons slowly fire in the distance. This turns silently into a poppy field. We don't really know whether Blackadder and the gang survive. I hope they did.

Blackadder the Third (1987)

Macbeth!

[28 August 2002]

I love this series. No, scratch that, I ADORE this series! Rowan Atkinson is fantastic as Blackadder (Macbeth!), Tony Robinson is perfect as Baldrick (I'd buy a little turnip of my own), and Hugh Laurie is wonderful as the Prince Regent (Why is it, that however many socks I buy, I never seem to have enough)! It was a shame that Tim McInnery and Stephen Fry could only be in it for one episode - but hey, they made the most of that one episode! Dr. Johnson is a brilliant character (EVERY word), like Pitt the Younger (What kind of jelly?) and those actors! Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!

Crossroads (I) (2002)

I thought movies were above this.

[1/10 · 16 August 2002]

Let me start with the marketing. When you see this advertised, you see Britney's name emblazoned above the title. There are actually other actors in it. Bet you didn't see that one coming. Now let's move on to the film. As soon as I saw a grown-up Lucy, I knew this was going to be a cardboard cut-out. Lucy's character is Little Miss Perfect throughout the movie. People just aren't like that. Britney just got the job because she's famous and it shows her in her underwear. She definitely didn't get it for her acting. Lucy: all this 'I'm going to find my mom' business is predictable. It's boring. And that 'poor-little-me' act gets old within seconds. And this was all just an excuse so you could squawk, ahmm, sing.

The other characters are all heavily flawed so as to increase the attractiveness of Miss Spears. Very bad technique. Well, this movie deserves 0 out of 10.

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Beautiful

[10/10 · 9 July 2002]

This has to be the best Disney animation picture ever. Nearly all the other Disney heroines have ready-made Prince Charmings, but Belle learns to love a Beast (so she hated him at first - that wasn't because of his physical appearance, it was because he'd imprisoned her father). All the songs are lovely, but 'Tale as Old as Time' crowns them all. This film can be described in one word: beautiful.

PS I only have one minor criticism of this film: that when Disney had a heroine that was a bit strange and very bookish, it offends me that they chose a brunette. It's basically saying: 'Blondes are the pretty ones'. But that did no way spoil the movie - it was pure perfection.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

I hated this.

[9 June 2002]

I have been an avid reader of Harry Potter since it first came out, before all the hype started. I thought the movie would actually be good. How wrong I was. Let's just face it: sometimes you just cannot make a film from books, especially great ones like Harry Potter. There are exceptions, e.g. The Lord of the Rings and Anne of Green Gables, but this didn't cut it. Draco Malfoy plays a prominent role in the book, and I have come to love him for it. But in here he is merely a background character, although the actor is very good. And there is a plot hole: Hagrid mentions that Snape protected the Stone. However, we do not encounter his enchantment, the potions. We only see Sprout's, Flitwick's, McGonagall's, and Quirrell's. From seeing a '1' on the spine of the Harry Potter video, I gather that there is an intent to make more Harry Potter films. If this film is anything to go by, don't see them. Stick to the books; you're allowed your own visions of the characters then. Rating: 4.5/10

P.S. Daniel Radcliffe cannot act. Emma Watson is mediocre. Rupert Grint, however, is superb.

West Side Story (1961)

It was really, really good

[18 May 2002]

First thing I have to say about this movie is: Rita Moreno was PERFECT for the role of Anita. Second thing: True Love is NOT love at first sight. If Tony & Maria had actually got to know each other, it'd be far better!My favourite songs? America, Gee, Officer Krupke!, and, of course, Tonight. Great film. Shame about Natalie Wood's bad dubbing.

Anne of Avonlea (1987)

Anne & Gilbert at last...

[30 March 2002]

No matter what people say, the movie did stick to the book most of the time. I couldn't believe that Anne, if for only 5 seconds, could even have thought of marrying Morgan Harris (Anne Harris???? Yuck!).I think it would have been nicer to have Roy Gardner instead of Morgan. Then it might have satisfied more people. If you watch it as 'Anne: The Sequel' and not 'Anne of Avonlea' it makes more sense, because Anne is hardly in Avonlea at all. It positively broke my heart when Gilbert told Anne he was engaged to Christine Boyfriend-Stealer Stuart, and gave her that letter that said 'congratulations on your success, Carrots'. When Anne went to see Gilbert when he was dying and she had her hair all tumbling down I thought it looked much nicer than that weird hairdo she wears elsewhere. I knew Gil would be OK because I've read the books, but it still made my heart melt like chocolate on a warm day. That is truly the mark of a great movie - even when you know what's going to happen it still touches you. (Another example is the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe film) It might have been nice to see more of Christine Boyfriend-Stealer Stuart because it didn't really seem like her and Gil were in love (unless it was Christine Boyfriend-Stealer Stuart that was helping Gil with his work in the first movie?). Gr8 movie, 10/10. Oh yeah - and I totally agree with Anne that a K is far nicer than a C in the name Katherine.

Anne of Green Gables (1985)

Put this in the VCR now or suffer the consequences...

[10/10 · 26 February 2002]

I had never read Anne of Green Gables. But I was at a sleepover with my best friend Helen, and she had rented the film. I was just 'OK, let's watch it'. And I was stricken. It was brilliant!!!!!!!!! From the moment Anne starts reading 'The Lady of Shalott' - one of my favourite poems - I knew I would love her. Megan Follows is the one person who can bring Anne to life...It was all I could do not to beg Helen to tell me the ending. It's wonderful...and Gilbert Blythe is great, in spite of his name (GILBERT??? You just don't call people GILBERT...). From the second Diana talked about him, I knew 'that's Anne's soulmate'. My heart totally ached for Anne when I saw Diana making other friends and looking wistfully at 'her bosom friend...10 out of 10, EXCELLENT.

Monsters, Inc. (2001)

BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, AND DID I MENTION BRILLIANT?

[10 February 2002]

Monsters Inc. has only been in cinemas three days and it is already huge - and it is easy to see why! Monsters Inc. is a company that supplies electricity for the monster world. And guess where they get it from? Children's screams! The scariest monsters in Monsters Inc. go through doors to children's rooms, and scare them. Their agents collect the electricity from their screams. But the monsters are just as scared of the children as the children are of them! If a child's sock is on a monster's back, it's a 2319 and the CDA (Child Detection Agency) comes and blows up the sock! The top scarer at Monsters Inc. is James P. Sullivan, aka Sulley. He's a big cuddly monster that for some reason children find scary. The second scariest monster is Randall. Randall is resentful of Sulley for getting all the praise in Monsters Inc. Sulley's best friend is his agent, Mike, a sort-of mini cyclops who is totally harmless - but can split your sides, he's so funny! To tell the story briefly, Sulley & Mike find a cute little toddler in their world, whom they call Boo. In their quest to return her home, they get mixed up in Randall's plot to take over Monsters, Inc. When the time comes to return Boo, Sulley realises he doesn't want to. He's bonded with Boo and gained her trust. But he has to, and they shred her door because she knows too much about the monster world. Because they've shredded the door, Sulley will never be able to see Boo again. Sulley becomes the head of Monsters Inc. and they don't use screams for power - they use laughter. They go through the doors and crack jokes to the kids instead of scaring them. But then Mike resurrects Boo's door - and this is a very touching moment, as Sulley has saved one tiny piece of Boo's door. Mike says, "It only works if you have every piece." and then Sulley slides it in - and goes through the door. He is greeted with 'kitty!' which is what Boo calls him. And then it ends...Monsters Inc. is funny, moving, and it's Pixar. All I can say is MIMO - miss it, miss out.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

THE BEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN

[10/10 · 29 January 2002]

Whenever a famous book is made into a movie, there's loads of hype - Harry Potter being an obvious example. These movies always seem to be better in the advert. But not The Lord of the Rings. The advert didn't really do it justice! I'd give this movie 10 out of 10. It's exciting, moving, and a tiny bit romantic (Arwen and Aragorn). It was so well done, I didn't lose interest once during the three hours. I cried twice - when Gandalf fell from the bridge in the Mines of Moria, and when Sam was prepared to follow Frodo, even though he couldn't swim. Sam, Merry, and Pippin are my favourite characters. The movie captured Sam's loyalty to Frodo. And if you were in unimaginable peril, Merry and Pippin could crack a joke and make it OK. This is the best movie I've ever seen. I can tell whenever I've seen a good movie - I'm dizzy when I leave the cinema. I can't wait for the Two Towers and the Return of the King to come out. Roll on 2003...

Saved by the Bell: The New Class (1993–2000)

7 out of 10

[21 October 2001]

This was a good show, with great characters. I especially liked Katie (red hair, dates Nicky in the final season, played by Lindsey McKeon?). There were only a few characters that got on my nerves, they were Maria Lopez, RJ Collins, and Vicki Needleman. And another thing that bothered me was that there were so many recycled stories - e.g. Lindsey and Ryan's break-up was pure Kelly-and-Zack of the original series, when Maria started smoking pot it was another Jessie-and-painkillers thing, when Lindsey thought Ryan was going out with Rachel it was just like Snow White and the Eight Dorks from the original series. Oh, and just one more thing that bothered EVERYONE - changes! There were SIXTEEN main students in total! They only explained about two - Lindsey and Tommy. And they only explained a few new people! I got used to watching Lindsey, Ryan, Tommy, Rachel, RJ, and Maria, but then they suddenly disappeared. But it was a great show apart from all those things, and I love the episode where Lisa, Zack, and Slater come back. I give this a B+.

Saved by the Bell: The College Years (1993–1994)

I quite liked this show

[6 October 2001]

I've seen most of the original 'Saved by the Bell' episodes and I really liked them. And I like this show too, though I don't like Lesley because Zack decided he liked her when the perfect girl for him was Kelly - duh. Though one thing I don't get is that in the 'Graduation' episode of Saved by the Bell, they said they were going to go to different colleges (Zack - Yale, Jessie - Columbia, Kelly - I can't remember where, but she couldn't afford to go to a good college, Screech - I also can't remember but I think it was an Ivy-League one, Lisa - some fashion institute, Slater - Iowa) but Slater, Zack, Screech and Kelly wound up going to the same college. I would give this a 7 out of 10.

Saved by the Bell (1989–1992)

I love this show...

[2 September 2001]

So I may be 10 years old. So I may only have watched Saved by the Bell for nine months. But I love the show. Zack wasn't that cute in the early episodes, but got a lot more good-looking later on. Kelly - oh she was pretty! A little airheaded in some episodes, and totally brain-dead in the two dumping-Zack ones (The Last Dance and The Aftermath) but she was a nice girl. Jessie was NOT annoying or obsessed about grades. She turned down a chance to go to Stansbury, remember? Slater was a bit of a dumb jock, but he was the one who was really clever in Driver's Ed. Lisa was kind of shallow (she kept track of how many hours they had to shop for prom dresses!) but hey. And Screech - who could forget Screech! He was nerdy but lovable - popping out of dustbins some of the time, hiding in filing cabinets, being a pineapple princess, getting stuffed into 82 lockers...he was hilarious.

Shrek (2001)

a brilliant film....

[21 July 2001]

I think Shrek is a brilliant film! Overall, I'd give it 9 and nine-tenths out of 10. Just the little part at the ending spoilt it a bit. It was kind of the same as Pocohontas (why couldn't she have gone with John Smith? ‘I'm needed here' – barf) because it doesn't end how you want it to. Come to think of it, Fiona (I happen to have always hated that name) didn't look that bad as an ogress! The Gingerbread Man was really funny – poor little crippled guy with a candy-cane – and I'm glad he didn't get cut out of it after his first appearance. Eddie Murphy was hilarious as Donkey (minty freshness? Does that dragon use Ice-White gum or something?) By the way, that spell-book or incantation or what ever it was, was a real lie – why did it get Fiona's hopes up of becoming beautiful again, then let her down? And why have people complained about Donkey's movements? I thought he moved just fine! Shrek himself was great – no more jokes could be fitted into his script!