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scipantheist
Reviews
Rain Man (1988)
Truly great
I've seen this film two times now, and each time this film has reduced me to tears. I can't think of a single film that so honestly portrays mental disability and at the same time the hight of human compassion. Hoffman is absolutely incredible, and even more surprisingly so is Tom Cruise. I think anybody, even a person as macho as Tom Cruise, ought to come away from this film with a sense of happiness at the power of brotherly love. One of the greatest films I have seen.
Bad Santa (2003)
What everyone is thinking this time of year...
This is a fantastic film, not because it is so funny, but because it holds back very little and gives its audience a story that we can actually respond to. This film is not and should not be a guilty pleasure because it so well demonstrates the problems with today's society. From the right angle, this bad santa is clearly as much of a hero as any Hercules and we should all incorporate some more of his free-spirited antics.
For anyone who has studied Taoism, Willie's heroic nature is immediately apparent. He embodies the concept of Wu-Wei (doing by non-doing) in a powerful way. Simply put, because Willie leads his life at the lowest common denominator (he eats, drinks, and screws whenever he feels like it) he cannot possibly not gain from life at every turn. By the end of the movie, he has a girlfriend, a family, and a job, all seemingly without effort. This is powerful wisdom from over 2000 years ago, and it is refreshing to see a movie embody it so well.
Cabin Fever (2002)
Survivor: Outbreak
I would like to challenge everyone who liked this film to read the following description of a real life disease, Bordetella pertussis, otherwise known as whooping cough:
"Attacks of a choking cough that lasts from 1 to 2 minutes, often with vomiting, severe facial congestions and a feeling or appearance of suffocation. These choking attacks of coughing happen as little as twice a day or as many as fifty.'Whooping' is a noise that comes from the voice box after a paroxysm when the sufferer is suddenly able to take a breath in again. Sometimes the patient stops breathing after a severe bout of coughing, long enough to go blue. Occasionally the patient faints as well."
This description from WhoopingCough.net goes on to say that the disease lasts up to 3 months in Adults and can be fatal in children. Most modern treatments are ineffective at alleviating the symptoms.
Now my question to you is, why would anyone make a film so boring as this one when there are a host of REAL horror stories that are more interesting?
Matchstick Men (2003)
Good movie but flawed
This movie offers the audience a tremendous promise and then ultimately suckers us out like the flim flam man protagonist. As part of a work of fiction, we're expected identify with the main character and as such we want him to be successful. When a character we have invested so much thought into ends up failing, we have to ask ourselves, what is the point? That is the feeling we have at the end of this movie. The main character is essentially worse off then when we first met him. Perhaps if this had been based on a true story, this would have been acceptable, but unfortunately it is just a bad work of fiction.
Final Destination 2 (2003)
I guess even Death has some lousy days at the office
*Spoiler Alert* It must be hard to be death, having to constantly think up new creative ways to bump people off as grusomely as possible. Honestly, I can't blame him for just causing things to explode at random to get things done faster. I mean why go through the trouble of messing with free will when you can just have respirators unplug themselves or cause people to immolate themselves in a fit of stupidity. Luckily, this film is only an hour and a half because most of the audience is dying to escape after the first ten minutes. This movie is only good at curing insomnia.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Surprisingly good
I've been a lukewarm fan of the terminator series. I watched the two previous films before seeing T3, and it really struck me that these films are more about hardcore action then a believable plot. Not so with this film. They brought back much of the writing talent from the first Terminator and it definitely shows. People may complain about the lack of blood in this film, but I think it adds a sense of reality and suspense that it would not have otherwise. There are plenty of explosions and action for the less intelligent, but for once these have been put second to good science fiction. I've seen many films that have not managed this mix well. This film pokes fun at its occasional cheesiness so that we know the writers are sure where it's going. This film has a surprise ending which alone is worth the price of admission.
Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998)
Best sitcom ever!
I remember watching this show back in high school, and even then I thought it was the funniest show on TV. Unfortunately I stopped watching and now that I've seen the reruns, I am sorry that they canceled the show. It's true that the show switched writers but every episode is still a comic masterpiece. What's even more amazing is some of the material from the early episodes. The character of Berg is what every man should strive to be. Trust me, if you act like him, you will have no problem with women. I don't know who is responsible for the character, but when you see Berg and Ashley in the episode "the Wedding", there is something that is shear genius in the interplay between them. Kudos to this show for having one of the most authentic relationships on TV.
Confidence (2003)
About as clever a mugging
This movie is at best a copy of better crime films. Even the skill of Hoffman cannot bring any real energy to such a tame film. It is as if the director thought we would be scared of anyone wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette. Oh no, look out, they're defying society's conventions! If this film is a crime then I must commit about a half dozen felonies every time I step out of the house. Wait until it comes out on DVD. Better yet copy a rental for more excitement.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
The Matrix Unloaded
I would have said this movie is okay, but I have been given the equivalent of a slap in the face: no one gives me a "To Be Continued" and expects the gloves to stay on. I encourage everyone, be they man, woman, child, animal, vegetable, or mineral to spend their money elsewhere then on a movie ticket for this thing. I expect "To Be Continued" when I am watching some pointless sitcom on television, throwing this into a film is just wrong. Your time and money should be valuable enough to expect some sense of resolution after spending two hours with a film. I don't care if a movie is two hours long or six hours long, I want to feel that I have accomplished something besides indebting myself another movie ticket to see the ending. This is a disgrace. A hard wipe to the credits would have been a thousand times more tactful.
That being said I must take a deep breath and tell you my other thoughts on this piece of work (It's a piece of something all right). At best, this is just a screensaver of action sequences. This would be okay if they did not pause every five seconds as if my computer were freezing up. It's as if the filmmakers did not think we could understand a car being smashed without seeing it occur over about five minutes. Action is action, and slow action is BOOOOOOOORRING. The rest of the film is a feeble attempt to coble a story together. You can throw in every word in the dictionary and use every trick of circular reasoning to try to make it seem intelligent, but no one is fooled: you could drive a truck through the plot holes in this movie. There are loose ends beyond count, and even one should be a travesty. I give this movie a to be continued.
Better Luck Tomorrow (2002)
I don't remember high school being like this....
Maybe I've lost touch with the younger generation, but I don't remember my high school days being this...well, interesting. I guess in the four years since I graduated things have changed alot. Back in my day (hiking up pants), the most trouble a kid could get into was partaking in the occasional beer and porno mag. I find it somewhat hard to believe that kids these days have the time to gun down the neighbors at the end of a hard day of geography bees, but I guess if you can find the room in your schedule... Still, there are some things in this movie that are surprising. I know that if I just got back from burying a girl's boyfriend in MY backyard, I'd probably pause a bit before going in for the score. I wonder what these guys are going to do when they hit college: I've heard it's possible to run a prostitution ring from your dorm.
Seriously though, this movie doesn't adequately demonstrate the consequences of one's actions. Maybe in California things are different, but from where I'm from, you can't just expect to go for a few years openly peddling the Ecstasy in class without Johnny Law stopping in for a visit. Not to say that the punishment meted out by concerned principals, shocked that someone could smoke in the bathroom, are fair, but everyone has to learn at some point how not to get caught. Nevertheless, it is a good film, but I wouldn't encourage young people to model their criminal activities after this bunch.
Phone Booth (2002)
This is one hilarious film
*Spoiler Alert* Personally, I think the idea of accusing Colin Farrell of philandering is a bit like trying to hand out speeding tickets at the Indy 500. C'mon guys, you don't tell him to clean up his act any more then you'd ask Bush the second to advocate gun control. It just ain't going to happen, and why should it? The world would be a poorer place without them. I don't care what your views on monogamy are, the whole premise is just ridiculous.
Which brings me to my second point. This movie isn't terribly original. Yeah it was mostly shot near a phone booth, but one need only go as far as Silverstreak to see a better example of location usage. This film is all pulled punches. My mother is more threatening then Sutherland comes off here. Please, he's just a lunatic. Al Pacino makes him look like a girl scout. I guess we should give Schumacher a break because he was trying something different, but there is no award for second place in my book. This movie fails as a drama.
The Pianist (2002)
Much like Chopin, this film is overrated
Seeing as how popular culture has all but killed classical music, I am always interested in the public's reaction to a film like this. I find that many people seem to like pieces that are short and don't involve too much patience to listen to, whether they are aware of it or not. I think that these people will love this film because Chopin's glorified elevator music is prominantly featured.
For those of us hoping for something a little more interesting, this film is pretty dull. If Polanski had really wanted us to know what the concentration camps were like, he could have used any of a number of different 20th century composers, some of which actually lived in these camps. As it is, this film fails to capture the imagination. It is just a series of deadpan reactions interspersed with action sequences of questionable accuracy. By the end of the film Szpileman is just a grizzled looking vagrant to us; he doesn't bear the weight of his experience on his soul. It's a valiant effort, but ultimately this film is just average.
The Hours (2002)
Might have been a good plot in the 19th century
I dread movies with cakes in them. The cake symbolizes the memory of youth (imagine a really high pitched nasal voice). Ever since I was force-read Great Expectations I have had this fear. It seems too easy to me, for an author to throw in a few random things and pretend like he or she intended them to symbolize something profound. Where is the real action? If I wanted a long boring story with no point, I HAVE my life! Seriously, having not read Wolfe or the book on which this movie is based, I can't in good conscience say I liked this film. My guess is that 50 cc's of prozac would have solved all three of these womens' problems. That is the miracle of modern medicine. The music by Glass is also extremely distracting.
Adaptation. (2002)
Amazingly good, almost accidentally so...
This film has an amazingly intrigueging plot structure. It uses a sort of stream of consciousness style, similar to novels like Catch 22. It is almost as if the actual screenwriter (one Charlie Kaufman) literally wrote the act of writing the screenplay into the movie. Charlie's attempts at romance are so pathetic, it just makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. We've all been there before.
What is furthermore impressive in this film is the way it flaunts the rules of convention that are even stated in the film. There IS and overuse of voice-over in the film. There IS an attempt to make a film in which nothing happens to the main character. What's amazing is that while so gracelessly doing these things, it calls attention to that very fact. That alone shows a masterful sense of sarcasm. The film is not above trick devices, but ultimately it delivers more than enough actual content. I would recommend this film, even if only to see John Laroche's toothless grin (Cooper will get an Oscar). That alone is worth the price of admission.
25th Hour (2002)
Captures the spirit of New York nicely
Let's face it, any film, make that any director, that can make Edward Norton look tough has got to have some salt. This film doesn't have the best plot in the world, but it makes up for with shear strength of will. There is a five minute sequence where Monty curses at himself in the mirror that is just absolute poetry. A more moving tribute to September 11th has never been made, because Spike Lee knows the city and its people like the back of his hand. This film should join the pantheon of films like Scarface and the Godfather for showing us that bad can be good.
S1m0ne (2002)
Who thought going over the top could be so much fun?
After I seeing this movie, Andrew Niccol is my new hero. He does whatever he wants to with his film whenever he wants to do it. This kind of free thinking hasn't been seen since the likes of Stanley Kubrick. You can argue that this film isn't funny enough, but one thing is for certain, Niccol doesn't back down from an artistic point of view. I can definitely see why Al Pucino choose to do this film, and his commanding performance is just the icing on the cake. This is a rare example in Hollywood, a comedy with heart, and I hope they take notice.
About Schmidt (2002)
An OK story told in an exceptional way
Watching this movie is like watching a great pilot episode on TV and discovering after you've seen it that the show has been canceled. This film is so earthy that it captures you immediately and puts you in the position the characters are in. The screenwriting, direction, and acting are perfect, almost to the point of disbelief. Great performances abound, even beyond that of Nicholson. In particular Kathy Bates is easily the best support role I have seen in a long, long time. She does her character so well, it is almost as if she was the person written in the film. Ultimately therein lies the problem. Once the stage has been set and the characters introduced, the lights come up. Ultimately the film doesn't know where to leave us once it has captured our imagination. This is easily one of the best films of 2003, but only because of shear technical ability.
Just Married (2003)
Don't expect much and you won't be disappointed
I have seen some rather harsh criticism of this film. Let's face it, aside from Woody Allen's films, modern comedies are mostly purile trash. This film is no different, but it does try to give us a semblance of a story to make our viewing worthwhile. The first hour of the film is funny enough that it should make up for the inevitable crash and burn. Fortunately, the gross-outs are kept to a bare minimum, and aside from some rather mean-spirited behavior on the part of Ashton Kutcher, it's all fairly innocuous. What I would like to see is more films aim for this level of achievement rather than sluming like Adam Sandler's never ending stream of garbage. We can and should expect at least this level of quality.
Antwone Fisher (2002)
Not especially good
This film really just didn't do much for me. I think that while it may be moving to those ignorant of the issues of child abuse, ultimately it doesn't do justice to the thousands of real people that seek counseling every day for such problems. Go to see it if you like Denzel Washington as an actor. I don't think he has much to offer as a director.
Solaris (2002)
Can we give a resounding "Huh?"
This film tries to create something profound out of what amounts to subpar science fiction. For all it's seriousness, the events that occur in the film are little more then a hodgepodge of random events. I'll give some credit to Soderbergh making such a good attempt at bringing us into the action, but ultimately our emotional involvement is limited by what intellectually makes sense and that is precious little. This film is worth watching, but it offers little for the viewer to take with at the end. I guess the best analogy I can think of for this film is the paintings of Mondrian and Pollack. You can stare at them for hours, but in the end you are left just like you were before, clueless.
The Ring (2002)
Bring your defibrillator
First of all, when this movie first started, I thought it was going to be another Scream movie. All of the elements were there: the bad acting, lame lines, and the cheesiness of the scene with the two girls just made me cringe. Within minutes this movie rapidly showed its true nature. DO NOT BE FOOLED! This movie is all bite and no bark. Yes, it is formulaic and the acting is sub-par, but that does not mean this is not going to scare you witless. Let me put it to you this way, when they show the tape for the first time, YOU WILL BE SCARED. Even knowing that this would be the breaking point of the film, I was not ready for the tape. The images on the tape are the essence of good horror: reality gone horribly wrong. It has all the artistry of indie films and gothic horror the likes of which Poe and Lovecraft would be proud of. The rest of the movie is just window dressing, but there is nothing wrong with that. This movie shows us how the formula is supposed to work, and that is something worth seeing.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Spent a little too much time in the bathroom
In light of all the reviews mooning over how great this movie is I would like to add my two cents. I think the film is very good, just like the first movie, but it is not the greatest film ever made by any stretch of the imagination. I realize many people see this as a kid's movie and thus being above criticism, but I actually think these movies were made for adults. How many kids under 10 do you know that can sit through three hours of movie? It just seems to me, that when you see a film like Toy Story which says more in under 90 minutes then this movie does in three hours, you have to think about how it could have been better. So much of the Potter films seems to rest on gimmicks: things that look really cool but ultimately serve as just backdrop. Harry Potter has these amazing adventures without even the slightest amount of self-doubt. This seems especially impressive when he confronts CG terrors that cause even adults to shiver. Ultimately though there is no message that Harry Potter also feels fear and is therefore human. I give this movie an A+ for direction, story, acting, and special effects. For heart I give it an F.
8 Mile (2002)
Fairly Tame Stuff
I'm not a big fan of Eminem or of gangsta' rap in general, but I wanted to see what this film was like. It seems to me, from what little I could understand of the rap lyrics, that most of the films songs are little more than weak insults interspersed with the occasional curse. I'm guessing the problem is that Eminem did not actually wright most of the film's music. Not that I encourage potty mouth lyrics, but most of what they say would even be permissible on television (shock!). Without any sort of edge to its songs, this movie is just a tired rehash of better rags to riches stories. Honestly, go rent Scarface and you will see that that movie makes 8 Mile look like an episode of Barney and Friends.
Moonlight Mile (2002)
Bah, not as good as it could have been
It always amazes me how a movie with two phenomenal stars like Dustin Hoffman and Susan Sarandon, either of which alone could make a great film, can still manage to be sub par. In all fairness this movie isn't that bad, but simply the fact that it could have been SO much better upsets me. I guess the main problem is the writing. Some of the dialogue in the movie just doesn't cut it. I doubt any real life couple could manage to be as cheerful as the couple in this film is after the funeral of their only child. Some people may argue that this type of understatement shows restraint, and that it actually makes the film closer to reality. If that is true, give me fantasy any day.
Red Dragon (2002)
Surprisingly good, almost as good as Silence of the Lambs
When the film first started I was prepared to be disappointed. The story and characters seemed to be extremely shallow, and I was expecting another gore fest similar to Hannibal. This movie sneaks up on you, though. Surprisingly, it isn't the gore, the crimes, or Hannibal Lecter that makes this film work (although Anthony Hopkins simply dominates his scenes). The film's true heart lies in a very curious romance between the schizophrenic killer and a blind woman. This element of the film offers what neither SOL or Hannibal could, a truly penetrating view into the killer's mind. The quasi-relationship of the pair in this film is something unnatural (she the vulnerable and moral, he the powerful and deceptively evil), but also is beautiful in how it manages to work. Ironically, the film takes the message that love will redeem this evil man too far. Eventually the film has to return to the real world and end on a simple tragic note. I am really impressed by this film, because it is not afraid to be different.