pjcarline Reviews

The Descent (2005)

Amicable cave-dwelling nonsense

[5/10 · 13 July 2005]

Young Englishman Neil Marshall - the one man band responsible for the lamentable and allegedly "tongue in cheek" horror flick Dog Soldiers - brings us more of the same with The Descent .

Guess what? It's peppered with umpteen jumpy moments, poor characterisation, an utterly implausible storyline, daft twists and a new bloodthirsty, cave-dwelling baddie which I'm sure was intended to be bloodthirsty and scary, but somehow passed me by. If you can turn a blind eye to all that, then The Descent is utterly idle dross which passes the time perfectly amicably.

Six adrenaline-junkie females (all of whom have surprisingly, dare I say it, male traits and psychological make-ups to boot) make the blunder of heading to Appalachian Mountains to plunge the depths of a cave system. While not entirely sure of the group dynamic (it was never adequately explained, or even explained for that matter), nor the reasoning behind their poorly thought out expedition, the group place their trust in Juno (Natalie Jackson Mendoza) - an apparently seasoned stateside campaigner, who makes a few too many schoolboy errors for my liking.

With several clues for the observant (and even the not so observant, bless them), it's fair to say that their jaunt into the unknown is far from idyllic and that this is certainly not going to be their day. Not that I really cared, as the lack of any significant dialogue between the main players, coupled with unbelievable all-too-male jokey moments had me rooting for the hidden foe instead of the band of our boyish tomboys.

It's typically formulaic stuff as the not so intrepid explorers bungle deeper and deeper into the unknown, while the inevitable becomes more and more, well, inevitable.

What emerges from the darkness is that Mr Marshall will stop at nothing to make audiences jolt from their seat. After an hour this cocktail of Wes Craven mixed with 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' begins to lose its potency, and the canny will have the tactic of bracing oneself at the opportune moment down to a fine art. Nevertheless, the film is paced well enough, with the suspense building nicely toward its all too predictable conclusion.

Despite all its flaws - and they are at times woefully and inadequately clear - the sum of The Descent 's parts somehow come together to produce perfectly watchable twaddle which requires little thought or emotive engagement.

Switch off and enjoy.

The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse (2005)

Hello Dave

[8/10 · 7 June 2005]

After three outstanding BBC television series' and a Christmas special, the bizarre and grotesque (yet perversely lovable) characters of bleak fictional town Royston Vasey make the jump to celluloid, along with their creators - The League of Gentlemen.

Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith are the more familiar three-quarters of the foursome, with the central roles shared between the trio. In an added twist, the final member of the team - Jeremy Dyson - is portrayed by actor Michael Sheen.

Where to start? Dyson (Sheen) is in conversation with his writing cohorts, when - horror of horrors - he is paid a visit by two of his grisliest characters. Both Tubbs (Pemberton) and Edward Tattsyrup (Shearsmith) are unhappy at The League's decision to kill off the Vasey inhabitants. "You're not real!" screams Dyson in vain, as the local shopkeepers from hell exact their revenge. Mayhem ensues, as reality and Vasey converge with the vast array of characters entering our world to save theirs.

Confused? You will be, as the camp, innuendo-ridden Teutonic, Herr Lipp (Pemberton) is forced to take on the daily guise of Pemberton (Pemberton), while Pemberton (Pemberton) is kidnapped by cannibalistic butcher Hillary Briss (Gatiss) and Geoff Tipps (Shearsmith).

With shades of an even more demented Misery, Briss attempts to force Pemberton to rewrite the film - thus continuing his life - but leaving Geoff in charge is never a good idea. The erstwhile comedian becomes embroiled in The League's latest, post-Vasey adventure - The King's Evil - entering a typically twisted 17th century England, complete with cameos from Victoria Wood, Peter Kay and David Warner. Known as George of Asda (due to his select line of clothing), Geoff saves the day and is treated as a hero, but for the denouement of the film, he joins characters old and new at the Church of Royston Vasey to meet with their makers.

For fans of the series, the film is a must-see. And yes, it does feature Papa Lazarou (albeit a little too fleetingly). Pen-loving Pauline, Mickey, Barbara and cursed vet Matthew Chinnery are some of the other favourites on show, and The League's portrayal of themselves (plus Sheen's as Dyson) is also a fascinating insight.

The League of Gentlemen are the Radiohead of British comedy - they are ambitious, groundbreaking (witness the excellent Series Three) and not happy to rest on their laurels. They also divide opinion accordingly.

Certainly, their macabre sense of humour is not for every palate, and while not written exclusively for 'fans', a grasp of the storyline would benefit those who have previously viewed the series. Nevertheless, Apocalypse is a film in its own right and The League will no doubt manage to attract a new breed of fan, as well as appeasing and pleasing existing ones.

Melinda and Melinda (2004)

Do you confront or escape the issue?

[28 March 2005]

Woody Allen is a director who divides opinions. Detractors point to his clouded personal life and the nature of his movies, which see a constant re-examination of similar issues, while devotees regard him as a latter day Aristotle, with an eye for witticisms and an unparalleled understanding of the eternal human condition.

Following a fallow patch that harks back to 1999's Sweet and Lowdown, the prolific director returns to familiar ground with Melinda and Melinda, focusing on the lives of the intelligentsia of New York's exclusive Upper East Side.

Proceedings begin with a philosophical conversation in a New York café, concerning the exploits of an uninvited guest to a dinner party. While one protagonist pens comedies, another is the writer of tragedies, and both present their own take on the same situation.

Through tragic eyes, Melinda (Radha Mitchell) barges back into the life of schoolfriend Laurel (Chloe Sevigny) - a Park Avenue Princess, who likes to lunch and shop - and her actor husband (Jonny Lee Miller). The troubled Melinda comes complete with several afflictions, notably a failed marriage to a doctor and he loss of a custody battle to her two children, thanks to restrictions placed by her spouse. Despite a failed attempt at mismatching, Melinda finds love again in the guise of tender pianist Ellis (Chiwetel Ejiofor), but sure enough, the overriding theme continues…

Meanwhile, the happy go lucky Melinda enters the lives of actor Hobie (Will Ferrell) and his ambitious director wife Susan, (Amanda Peet). While Hobie plays each part with a limp, Susan is set to secure financing for her latest film, and after Melinda's comical suicide attempt, she becomes a part of their lives. Farrell does his best to portray the familiar Allen caricature, complete with neurotic nuances and biting, wise-guy retorts. All in all, it is a very passable likeness (despite several physical differences) - several lines could have been muttered by Allen himself - yet Farrell succeeds in adding an extra, boyish dimension to the role. But I digress, as Melinda becomes the centre of a Shakespearean storyline, complete with comedy twists and turns and the obligatory happy ending.

Both stories are intertwined in typical Allen manner. His beloved New York plays no small part in the picture, while scenes are moulded together with the ubiquitous jazz soundtrack. As with many of his films, the central characters hail from the upper echelons of society, and conversation is similarly elitist at points, but this is tempered by some humorous moments.

It is a large step to move from Neighbours to the lead role in a Woody Allen picture, and despite her inability to convincingly smoke a cigarette, it is a journey which Radha Mitchell just about gets away with. But it is the excellent Chloe Sevigny who steals the show with an impressive performance of age beyond her 30 years.

As with the concept for the film, whether Melinda and Melinda would appeal to you comes down to your outlook of life. As a Woody Allen fan, I found myself on familiar territory, and while it is nowhere near his best work, it is pleasant to see that Allen can still handle both comedy and tragedy in equal measure.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

In the shadow of its precursor

[7/10 · 28 February 2005]

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is director Wes Anderson's fourth film, centring around the adventures and mishaps of offbeat aquatic director Steve Zissou.

Zissou (Bill Murray) is in the depths of a mid-life crisis. Facing dwindling interest and disinterested audiences, his latest picture - charting the whereabouts of the mythical jaguar shark - has fallen on deaf ears, and the creature has chewed his best friend Esteban (Seymour Cassel) into the bargain. Zissou's second marriage to his disillusioned "rich bitch" wife Eleanor (Anjelica Huston), is very much on the rocks, while his nemesis Alistair Hennessey (Jeff Goldblum), is ready to pick up the pieces.

Seeking revenge, Zissou embarks on a final mission to hunt and destroy the jaguar shark on his decrepit vessel, The Belafonte. Joining Zissou are Ned Plimpton (Owen Wilson) a Kentucky pilot who may or may not be Zissou's son, and pregnant, bubble-blowing British journalist, Jane Winslett-Richardson (the enchanting Cate Blanchett), who is compiling a no-holds barred piece on the ailing star.

On board, 'Team Zissou' consists of an unnecessarily large and slapdash crew, featuring a crazed Teutonic (Willem Dafoe), 15 unpaid interns and a Portuguese acoustic guitar player with a penchant for David Bowie. Members are uniformly kitted out in matching retro track-suits, red bobble hats, speedo's, Glock's and the sadly discontinued Adidas Zissou range.

After a battle over finances (extravagant Zissou has a sauna room on board, while interns sip Moet over dinner), Ned conveniently assists with funding the operation, thanks to a $275,000 trust fund, and the large ensemble cast head into unchartered and unpoliced waters.

For fans of Anderson's previous work (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums) there is much on offer. The camera effortlessly pans throughout the interior of The Belafonte, with the set resembling the interior of an ant hill as the assembled crew go about their daily lives. Anderson leaves nothing to spare with his famed attention to detail, with each room featuring an array of history, literature, pictures and pastimes. The Life Aquatic is a dry and sardonic take on the life and works of Jacques Cousteau, featuring some amusing staged discoveries of previously unknown species and imaginative computer generated creatures, with scenes bound together by the Portuguese Bowie-inspired soundtrack.

Yet, in compiling a review of The Life Aquatic, it is impossible not to mention Anderson's 2001 masterpiece, The Royal Tenenbaums. Both films revolve around a deeply-flawed male central character, struggling to come to terms with middle age and the responsibilities of fatherhood. Yet, while Tenenbaums features a glorious array of well-rounded - albeit dysfunctional - characters, it is tough to name a character within The Life Aquatic which strikes the same chord. While Murray is exceptional as the laconic and frequently dismissive Zissou, the viewer remains firmly at arms length, and other usual show stoppers (Wilson in particular), struggle to get past the first dimension.

As a film in its own right, The Life Aquatic is a brave and wonderful spectacle, but when placed alongside Tenenbaums, there is a disappointing sense of deja vu. It seems Anderson's first collaboration with new writing partner Noah Baumbach is essentially re-charting old waters.

The Matrix (1999)

Originality, quality, excellence.

[8/10 · 10 October 2002]

What is The Matrix?

It is the future, and apocalypse has narrowly been avoided following war between man and machine. Humans are now enslaved; they are merely individual power cells, each kept alive by ‘living' within a computer programme – The Matrix. Thomas A. Anderson (Keanu Reeves), exists as a program writer by day and as Neo, an infamous computer hacker, at night. Following his curiosity and the instructions of Trinity (Carrie Anne Moss), Neo is lead to Morpheus (Lawrence Fishburne), the leader of a small band of freedom fighters. Danger lurks in the form of Sentinels and Agents, both programmed by the Matrix to seek out and destroy free human life. Under the guidance of Morpheus, Neo begins to explore a life of dual existence, discovering the truth about himself and the surrounding world.

The Matrix succeeds in being both intellectually and visually stimulating. Revolutionary fight scenes and state of the art special effects are matched by a high-tempo script, and a comic book style, which keeps the audience on tenterhooks. Although firmly based in science fiction, The Matrix is not limited to this genre, as it explores martial arts, philosophy, religion, humanity and love. Fishburne is excellent as the profound Morpheus, likewise Weaving as the eerie Agent Smith, and even Reeves convinces as the wide-eyed Neo. Direction is slick, with impressive camera work, a good supporting cast and a genuinely unique feel. The Matrix is an influential and groundbreaking film, which deserves to be regarded as a masterpiece of modern cinema.

Signs (2002)

The Opium of the Masses

[9 October 2002]

As this is far from a serious film, I shall not credit it with a serious review. A friend and I saw this tame and overly symbolic yarn in Amsterdam, and were far from surprised to hear other members of the audience greet it with the derision and contempt it aroused in us.

Where to start? Mel Gibson plays Father Graham Hess, a Priest who has lost his faith. The irksome and deformed Joaquin Pheonix plays his slightly strange brother Merrill, and they live happily in their Pennsylvania house with Graham's two children. Rory Culkin plays Morgan; a child prodigy who could have given Einstein a run for his money, with Abigail Breslin playing his equally irritating sister, Bo. The story is the usual extra-terrestrial nonsense. Higher beings come to earth to study the human culture and to rape and pillage the planet for valuable resources. Just one question here: Why do we always assume that "aliens" are more powerful and advanced than us? Anyhow, using crop circles to frighten Hess' family, the aliens cleverly manipulate and expose human weaknesses.

Panic ensues, with painful recollections of the death of his wife along the way. His faith is questioned, and when it turns out he believes in "luck" and not in the wrath of God, Dear old Joaquin attempts to persuade the ex-Priest to see the error of his ways. Script is terrible. Acting derisory. The cast even start to wear foil hats to prevent the aliens from sucking their brains out. Yes, it is that bad. I cannot fathom how M. Night Shimalayamalan has attracted praise from any quarter. Okay, it will certainly appeal to those of a more religious persuasion, due to its endless symbolism, but for those of a more sound mind, I would steer well clear.

Mel Gibson is frankly awful as Father Graham Hess. His temper tantrums are slightly bizarre - see the last supper for details. Is this supposed to represent a man coming to terms with inner turmoil, or simply a b****rd of a man who regularly upsets his children? Either way, his acting skills are sadly lacking, and his days as a surefire hit are hopefully numbered. Pheonix is his usual self - peculiar, quiet, and trying to act. And those children... Well see for yourself how irritating they are.

Just don't watch this film. It is a waste of your time. See something worthwhile like Cinema Paradiso, Rear Window or The Third Man. People say M. Night is a genius. And yes, I would agree that he is. How on earth he persuaded the bigwigs at Buena Vista to make this nonsense is beyond me. If this is one of the best films of 2002, then it just goes to show what a God-awful year it has been for the cinema-goer.

Avoid.

Rear Window (1954)

Love Thy Neighbour?

[9 October 2002]

Rear Window is arguably Hitchcock's finest film. It encapsulates a tale of intrigue, suspense, paranoia and voyeurism, but also features an underlying tone exploring the subject of human relationships and love.

L. B. Jefferies (James Stewart) is a wheelchair-bound photographer recovering from a broken leg. His frustration and boredom at being confined within his own home leads to an obsession with the lives of the people through his rear window. The wealth of relationships before his eyes highlight the various stages of coupling, and Jefferies is forced to examine his own love life, following a recent proposal from his doting beau Lisa (Grace Kelly). Using binoculars and high power lenses, Jefferies is alerted to the suspicious behaviour of Lars Thorwell (Raymond Burr), and becomes convinced that he has witnessed the events surrounding a murder. Soon, both Lisa and his unflappable nurse (the wonderful Thelma Ritter), become convinced that something is seriously awry. When cynicism comes from Jefferies' friend on the force, Lt. Doyle (Wendell Corey), he is forced to examine his actions, intuitions and motives as the plot unfolds.

Hitchcock creates a tense environment, with the small, unchanging set complemented by incidental street noises, and the occasional playing of a local pianist. Like Jefferies, the viewer becomes absorbed with the lives of ordinary people, as the many incidental characters embark upon their daily routines. It is a thriller which entices the audience into sharing the intrigue, emotions and suspicions of the main characters, as the subtle script weaves its way to conclusion. Rear Window is a tense, yet understated mystery, and a delightful exploration of human nature.

Withnail & I (1987)

British film-making at its best.

[9/10 · 19 November 2001]

Camden, 1969. Two unemployed actors, Withnail (Richard E Grant), and I (Paul McGann), are facing up to the reality of an empty wine cellar and a harsh comedown following a speed binge. Squalid living conditions and the prospect of life on the poverty line leads 'I' (otherwise known as Marwood), to suggest a rejuvenating break in the Lake District. After Withnail manages to persuade his bizarre uncle, Monty (Richard Griffiths) to part with the keys of his dilapidated cottage, the take the Jag north for a taste of country life.

Adapting to such an alien environment is an initial challenge to the highly strung Withnail; his predicament is significantly worsened following an altercation with poacher Jake (Michael Elphick). Meanwhile, Marwood is forced to concentrate his attentions to fending off the advances of the lecherous Monty, who has inconveniently come to stay.

Following an awkward evening, the pair hurriedly return to London and, after a run-in with the Metropolitan Police, return to find Danny (Ralph Brown) has made himself at home. Drugged rodents fill the oven while Presuming Ed fills the bath and Marwood is rescued from the mire - it seems he will crack the boards after all. "Congratulations", Withnail says emptily, as he begins to contemplate life without his straight man.

Bruce Robinson deserves high praise for creating a rich, debauched world of weird thumbs, phenodihydrochloride benelex, old suits, uncontaminated urine and the Camberwell carrot. WIth a the tightest of budgets, he brings the late 1960's to life. The script is incredibly witty and eminently quotable. Both Mary Selway (casting director) and Bruce Robinson succeeded in bringing dialogue to life with an impeccable choice of actors. Richard E Grant has never come close to his performance as Withnail - his drunken performances are remarkable. Richard Griffiths is as camp as a hat as the overbearing, exuberant Monty, and Ralph Brown is frequently hilarious as the dangerous but lovable Danny.

This is a film that will never be tarnished by age, and neither is it limited by repeat viewings. It is a very accessible film, despite its largely English humour, and 'Withnail' remains one of the best films about friendship. Certainly a one off, 'Withnail' is a must see film that will not disappoint.

Chinatown (1974)

Chinatown remains a modern classic

[9/10 · 8 November 2001]

Chinatown is a landmark film, made during the golden age of cinema. Featuring crisp direction, flawless acting, a taut script and a haunting soundtrack, it is a film that will leave a lasting impression on any viewer. A film noir in terms of style and content, enhanced by colour cinematography, Chinatown is a tense and complex thriller that remains a modern classic.

Private eye Jake Gittes (Jack Nicholson), is approached by (whom the viewer believes to be) the wife of Hollis Mulwray (Darrell Zwirling), the chief engineer of the Los Angeles Water and Power Company. In a seemingly routine case, Gittes is asked to uncover a marital affair, but his investigations leave him entangled in a web of corruption, murder and deceit. The film beautifully intertwines two storylines - one centring upon Los Angeles' mysterious water drought, the other upon the unpleasant and ultimately tragic life of Evelyn Mulwray (Faye Dunaway). Gittes, a cocksure former policeman, launches himself into the case with vigour, but with each step, he finds himself increasingly out of his depth, unravelling a unpleasant world of extremities and moral decay. As his enquiries lead him to sinister millionaire Noah Cross (John Huston), the stage is set for an unforgettable night in Chinatown...

As Gittes, Nicholson shines throughout. Clearly relishing his ample role - he is seemingly omnipresent throughout the film - the maverick, Jameson swilling Gittes is colourfully brought to life. As in 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest', this is a part that Nicholson was born to play. As the tortured Evelyn Mulwray, Dunaway also gives a performance of empathy, emotion and sensuality. Similarly, Huston is at ease as the unpleasant and frankly psychopathic Noah Cross. The interaction between the three main characters is a joy to behold. The chemistry between Dunaway and Nicholson is beautifully harnessed by Polanski, and the continual reference to Gittes as 'gits' by Cross provides one of the films' wittiest moments.

Polanski directs with atmosphere and style. The heightened volume of incidental sounds - opening of doors, footsteps, taps of typewriter keys - adds suspense to an already atmospheric and tense thriller. Nicholson, Dunaway and Huston impeccably respond to numerous close-ups, providing intimate portrayals of their respective characters. As the plot unfolds, the viewer shares Gittes' assumptions, frustrations and feelings of helplessness, as the situation becomes more sinister and complex. Polanski does not rely too heavily on Nicholson's dynamism in the role, gaining much support from Huston, and the Oscar nominated Dunaway. Robert Towne's script is ably handled, with the viewer escorted through a maze of plots and sub-plots by a well practised guide. The bleak and bloody finale is an apt conclusion to a film that does not offer hope in a city full of decay and free of remorse.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

A.I. ranks as one of the most infuriating films ever made.

[6/10 · 1 November 2001]

A.I. ranks as one of the most infuriating films ever made. On the one hand, the first half of the film is stylish, sinister, thought-provoking - Kubrickian cinema at its awe-inspiring best. Spielberg managed to avoid his usual trick of laying sentimentality on with a trowel, and I was genuinely believing I was witnessing a masterpiece. However, when the motorbikes and taccy Running Man-esque lights appeared, it became apparent that this was not going to be the case. And then it just got worse, and worse, and worse. What on earth possessed the man to morph an eerie psychological drama into an ultimately boring and far-fetched yarn? The film is painfully long. The storyline meanders from mildly unbelievable to utterly incoherent. In the main, the acting was not as convincing as expected, Jude Law began to grate me, and also David's 'father', Sam Robards, flattered to deceive. I began to question my sanity when the film moved into a post-apocalyptic New York. How I wish Spielberg had questioned his.

There are a few positives to be taken from A.I. Haley John Osment's performance brings guile, empathy and intelligence beyond his thirteen years, to a film which (apart from Teddy) is devoid of characters with any depth. His portrayal his character, David, ranks as one of the finest and most haunting performances I have seen. It is such a shame that the ridiculous storyline had me rooting for the conclusion of the film, not for the main character. Aesthetically, A.I is impressive, but with such a large budget, that is only to be expected. David's companion on his ludicrous quest, Teddy, also brought out the child in me and I found myself genuinely concerned for his wellbeing. As unbelievable as his recovery was, the introduction of David's 'brother' was a welcome addition to the film. The relationship between the two is something that was not handled badly, but could have definitely been handled better.

Thus, A.I. left me wanting more. Why couldn't the film have reached a logical conclusion? Why was such a nonsensical and bastardised version of such a stimulating subject matter allowed to have been made? Has Spielberg finally lost the plot? If I were Kubrick, I would be turning in my grave, cursing the time I ever told my 'chum' Steve about a continuation of the HAL concept. I resent the fact that A.I. was made, as this is surely not the conclusion that Kubrick would have reached. If you have not seen A.I., then please go and see it, just to see how good it could have been. But brace yourself for an overtly long, frustrating film of epic proportions that tries to say too much, but ends saying little.