thesterlingweaver Reviews

Five Nights at Freddy's 2 (2014 Video Game)

A good story teller, but a lazy game that is completely luck

[4/10 · 12 March 2024]

Now don't get me wrong, there's a lot of stuff I like about this game, there's stuff like the animatronic designs which are perfect, even though the toy animatronics are not scary, they weren't made to be, there's also the storytelling with the mini games and the mid game cutscenes which are bone chilling, but there's also the stuff that I can't forgive Scott for, such as the OVER EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF RNG, he makes the game so easy to come up with a strategy for, but he had to make sure it only works like once, toy Bonnie sits in your vent forever then takes the same amount of time when he actually comes in the office, in golden freddy mode, if toy Bonnie shows up in your right vent, theres a 90% chance that its the end for you, because by the time he's gone, withered foxy is ready to attack, or the puppet is gonna get after, but there aint sh** you can do about it, see, if i lose in a game, can it atleast actually be my fault and not because of a horrible design choice? Overall, good for the lore, but as a game, it's very bad.

Five Nights at Freddy's (2014 Video Game)

An amazing start for one of the greatest videogames franchises

[9/10 · 10 March 2024]

Ah yes, the original five nights at Freddy's, this game is absolutely terrifying while still can appeal to younger audiences, the jumpscares in this game all seem menacing, and I will tell you, the most "say your prayers" moment in any videogame is seeing foxy run down the hallway, it is bone chilling and will make you scream, what's very cool about this game is that for new comers, you don't know anything about these animatronics, they seem kid friendly while also being an obvious threat, they are mysterious in this game because we knew nothing about the lore, we see them as these mysterious characters that are out for blood, which is what makes them scary, my only complaint about this game is how Freddy works, Freddy will sometimes camp at your door and if you're new to the game, it can cause you to lose your power without it even being your fault, which may piss some people off, but once you get a strategy down, it's not that bad, overall, amazing game, I'll be sure to review the rest of the series.

Inside Out (I) (2015)

The only emotion I felt watching this was boredom

[6/10 · 9 April 2023]

So, it turns out that inside out is another one of Pixar's movies in the boring lineup, litterally, the characters are unlikeable, making it hard for me to root for anyone, the only thing I got out of watching this was some stunning animation, interesting story just with bad execution, and for all of those nerds out there, the inclusion of it into the theorizer's Pixar theory, it's very interesting and y'all should watch it, anyways, on topic, the human characters act like such horrible parents, and also, Joy does not learn anything by the end of the movie, and sadness is insufferably annoying, I do not understand why all the critics praise this movie when there is literally nothing about this to praise.

Monsters, Inc. (2001)

This movie is "scary" good

[8/10 · 6 April 2023]

As every 2000's kid did, they grew up with Pixar movies, and they always had that one that was special to them, before cars, it was monsters inc, I've loved it ever since I was a kid and I think it grew on me even more as I grew up, it has this interesting story of monsters going into the human world to make kids scream for a power resource, it's a unique idea and I liked where the writers were going with it, mike and sully are still the most iconic Pixar duo, their chemistry is so dynamic and I love how the work off each other as they are trying to rescue boo, and that ending of sully having to leave boo, oh, that almost made me cry, and of course, Randall is a great villian, he's menacing, has a motivation, got some funny moments too, overall, amazing movie, even if the there are a bit of confusing minor parts of the movie.

Rush (I) (2013)

Extremely overrated and doesn't deserve to be in top 250

[6/10 · 5 January 2023]

I cannot believe how bored I was with this movie, I watched it 3 times and it still couldn't hold my interest, this is a movie about racing history, and I'm a car nerd, but still fell asleep, the movie is mostly carried by good acting by Chris Hemsworth, although the movie was boring, it at least had a good premise that could have made it good, but the direction of the story, slow pacing, and making me want to just sleep as soon as it was done, it just got wasted, maybe they could remake this movie, and make it possibly way more entertaining than what this movie was, overall, it has a lot in store, but it doesn't offer anything.

Logan (2017)

Unlike the first 2, this wolverine movie has freedom to do whatever it wants with no restrictions

[9/10 · 26 December 2022]

Logan is not only the best X-Men movie, it is one of the most powerful, impactful, heart touching comic book movies of all time, even after 17 years, Hugh Jackman still kills it as wolverine, and I really appreciate how it's 12 years in the future after so that you don't have to watch every single X-Men movie before it to understand it, hell, I only saw half of the X-Men movies before watching this and even on rewatch, I still love it, the movie just does what it needs to do to be successful, when the movie tries to be funny, it is hilarious, when the movie tries to make you feel things, it will (almost) make me cry, I was 12 when I first watched it but it still didn't make me cry or scare me for how much of a gory cinematic masterpiece it is, the father-daughter chemistry between Logan and X-23 (I forgot her actual name but this is her comic book name) this is definitely the most iconic X-Men movie, well actually, it's a tie between this and Deadpool, it's cool to see Logan actually at risk of dying after being known as being immortal for so long, and when Logan finally actually does die, I almost cried and X-23 saying the line from the old movie she was watching in the hotel was perfect foreshadowing, if u haven't watched your missing out.

Ratatouille (2007)

This movie left a good taste in my mouth

[8/10 · 18 November 2022]

The plot of the movie sounds ridiculous on a piece of paper, but when you actually watch the movie, it is something absolutely phenomenal, Remy and linguini is one of, if not, the best Pixar duos, and that's saying a lot because Pixar duos are always awesome with their chemistry, dynamic and what they are able to accomplish on their own as well, Remy and linguini are a pitch perfect example of this, now obviously, the movie can be a little ridiculous, but, so is a idea about a rat wanting to cook, Anton ego is one of the most interesting characters anyone could ever distribute in a movie, and thats exactly why I love it.

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

A timeless piece of art

[8/10 · 6 November 2022]

The first ever movie with color is still great 83 years later, the way it switches colors from it just being brown in the beginning to eventually being colored by the time they get to the land of oz, I thought was super clever, the acting is top tier, the setting is top tier, but the theories of glinda being the villians of the movie is what brings it down because there is so much evidence to back it up, the movie is funny when it tries to be funny, the movie isn't something you will forget immediately, neither is it a perfect movie, but it is one that will be loved and remembered for years to come.

Aladdin (1992)

One of the most iconic animated movies of all time

[8/10 · 24 October 2022]

This movie obviously isn't perfect, sometimes the jokes don't always land and the slapstick sorta takes away from the strong story, Robin Williams is obviously the GOAT as the genie, but the movie aside from a few immature jokes is absolutely hilarious, there are times when it's funny when it's not even try to be funny, the movie is so much fun and I was never bored with this original, comical, and emotionally powerful story, they get you to care about these characters and the songs absolutely slap there, there isnt one bad song in the entire movie, overall, this movie is great, and you should definitely take your time to watch it.

The Iron Giant (1999)

Now these are the kind of movies that we need nowadays

[8/10 · 29 September 2022]

If someone told me this movie was made today, I would not be all that surprised because the animation is incredible for a movie twenty years old, it's not one of my favorites but I do think it's great, it's really funny and the pop culture references are not cringe in any sort of way, the chemistry between Hogarth and the iron giant is one of the best chemistry's I've seen in an animated movie in the 1990s, and there were chemistry's like Aladdin and genie, Simba and scar, belle and the beast, (oops, I didn't mean to say all Disney movies) if you haven't seen this movie, please go watch it right now, besides, the movie can actually get you to care about what's going which why I think this great.

Howard the Duck (1986)

How is the first marvel movie also the worst marvel movie

[1/10 · 24 September 2022]

It's not even a question, this is the worst marvel movie and one of the worst movies in general that I somehow sat through, when Howard gets pulled to earth, how is he the only thing that moves during the black hole, HOW THE F( ) DOES THAT WORK?! This movie was the biggest waste of my time I've had in my entire life, it's also disgusting at one point to try and have sex, WITH A DUCK!!! Now, I know what you are thinking "but sterling, cartoons and real people made out in who framed Roger rabbit, and it was around the same time" again, those were cartoons and I have already seen stuff like that in "the three caballeros", Howard the duck is extremely unlikable and blames everyone for his problems, the weird scientist (who's name I can't remember and don't care to look up) is extremely annoying and I just wanted the to kill him off, Dr Jennings when he gets possessed has a terrible acting voice of someone with a demon voice and just looks like Albert Einstein but with goofy ass red eyes, this movie has the #1, worst effects of any movie I've ever seen, literally the wizard of OZ has better effects, the movie is also just really boring in he general, I will never understand how any of you can give this a good score, because I would give this a 0/10 if it was an option.

Cars on the Road (2022)

A worthy, if a bit predictable, spinoff of a franchise I thought was dead

[8/10 · 9 September 2022]

This show is very clever and I love all the new characters, it's great at expanding the world of cars, and I was afraid this show would have something to do with that one awful extended 2011 mater tall tale that we don't talk, but I was happy it didn't, each episode is different and creative, so was it worth the 2 year wait? Probably, go watch it, you don't wanna miss it, the plot of it was cool, and I liked the inclusion of cruz Ramirez and I liked the short amount of time she was in screen, I also really liked ivy, the show is also actually funny at times, do I have a favorite episode, it's probably all of them, I love the intro song, and again,the show is a perfectly fun and clever 70 minute mini film that you should watch as soon as possible.

The Punisher (1989)

Why must they ruin such a great comic book character with this disaster of a film

[1/10 · 3 September 2022]

The movie is way too short, the acting is terrible, it boggles me that this is a R rated film when there's nothing that happens, nothing to offer us, and nothing to talk about, the villian? Who was that? The actors? Forgettable, any redeeming qualities or anything to add to this review? No, do not watch this, there's nothing about this to enjoy. I hate everything about this movie, this is debatably the worst marvel comics based film of all time and I do not understand how they messed up this badly. I'm honestly mad that IMDb is forcing me to make me type at least 600 characters which just makes me mad because I just don't want to talk about this, all I can say is don't watch it, that's it.

Mater's Tall Tales (2008–2012)

Something to use to distract your kids for about 45 minutes

[7/10 · 11 August 2022]

When I was a little kid, I would find these cars shorts and they looked interesting so I would watch them and I liked them, Tokyo mater might be my favorite of the ten, or maybe it's heavy metal mater, either way, this is good and I would show these to your kids to distract them while you do other things and who knows, parents might actually enjoy them like I did.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002 Video)

I was looking through the sequel heap, and I saw this, and it offended me

[1/10 · 10 August 2022]

I was absolutely offended by how God awful this movie is, the movie is only an hour long, which is short, even for a Disney sequel, in the first 10 minutes of the movie, they have to tell us several times that Esmeralda and Phoebus are married and somehow already have a kid, which is eventually used as a plot device in the end but I will get on that later, so of course this movie does the basic sequel thing of "our main character didn't have a love interest in the first movie, let's just slap one in this pointless second movie without putting any effort of originality into it" and what they give us in this boring relationship that literally nobody cares about, is Terrible songs, and the whole "liar revealed" trope that EVERYONE IS TIRED OF SEEING IT, DISNEY, JUST STOP USING IT OR SO HELP ME, every single character in the first movie except Quasimodo is now minor and serve almost no purpose, and as usual in these terrible Disney sequels, they change the voice actors to unknown celebrities that were probably overpaid because Disney doesn't know what to do with their money anymore, the animation is, and this is debatable, the worst in any Disney sequel, and by debatable, I mean that some people would have said that belles magical world has worse animation, and I that is totally understandable, this movie is just so boring because literally nothing happens, the villian is terrible and all he wants to do is steal a bell because he somehow knows that for some stupid reason, they put diamonds inside of the bell, yes, I'm being serious, THEY PUT DIAMONDS INSIDE OF A BELL, WHY THE (expletive) WOULD YOU DO THAT? DO YOU IDIOTS NOT KNOW HOW BELLS WORK? BING, BONG! THATS IT! BONG, BONG! And so back to that kid of Esmeralda's and Phoebus's I talked about earlier, Disney just smashed the plot device button on him because if the villian doesn't get the bell, he's gonna take the kid back to his EVIL circus, so even though the villian, I guess, got what he demanded for, he still takes the kid back to his EVIL circus, OH NO, I SHOULD PROBABLY START BITING OFF MY NAI- oh wait, Quasimodo, 5 seconds later just swings down to take the child back, WOW, WHAT A CLIMAX BECAUSE SOMETHING TOTALLY HAPPENED, (if you can't tell I'm being sarcastic) this is one of the worst animated abominations I've ever seen, I got nothing out of this movie, and I want you to burn your copy of The Hunchback of Notre Dame II, please do, there is nothing good about this movie, it is worthless.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Much better than the first movie but has nothing on the second movie

[8/10 · 10 August 2022]

The biggest problem with this movie is that it is kinda long and drags in it's damn near 3 hour runtime, a lot of people didn't like bane as the villian, but I thought he was great, he was intimidating, but his motivation doesn't make any sense, but Tom Hardy redeems that problem with his strong performance, I also liked Catwoman in this movie, I just wish they used her more in the movie, another problem with this movie is, in a sarcastic sentence, I really like when Batman is actually on screen, ras al ghul's return, while a bit weaker than he was in the first movie, still has his moments, and once again, Christian bale doesn't bore as an actor for Batman like he did in the first movie, and when Batman sacrifices himself, that was one of the most emotional moments in a Batman movie, it shows he has really grown throughout this trilogy, this was a great ending, great movie, and a great Batman movie, and I highly recommend it.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)

Unsurprisingly better than the first movie and super entertaining

[8/10 · 7 August 2022]

The movie itself is pretty decent, but what gave a few extra bonus points is that it's a great sequel, great time, and a great venom movie, it's very funny and I loved the addition of carnage played by the iconic woody Harrellson, the story is very venom like, and I was surprised by the post credits scene, it made me think that venom would finally be part of the mcu, this isnt a great movie but it is a great venom movie.

The Dark Knight (2008)

The greatest Batman movie... Of it's time

[9/10 · 5 August 2022]

What I mean by that is that I think the Batman was better, but this movie is still incredible, fast paced action, emotional and powerful moments, iconic cast, originality, everything you could want and expect our of a Batman movie, the only problem with this movie is that the title of the movie may confuse people that this is its own movie and not a sequel to Batman begins, a 1,000 times better sequel In every single way, and also I found it unrealistic how the fire and two face stayed on one side of his whole body and didn't spread even though I said I'm my review that I didn't care for Christian bales performance as batman, I actually like him in this movie, he actually isn't boring and really has some strong moments, I totally understand why IMDb calls this the third greatest movie ever.

Cars 3: Driven to Win (2017 Video Game)

Way too similar to the cars 2 videogame

[6/10 · 1 August 2022]

The game gets boring a little too quick, I wish there was more to do, and the story is mid length, it's still a decent game and I'm sure all the kids who loves the cars movies would like them, I just tolerate this game, while the animation has improved drastically since the cars 2 videogame, it's also way too similar to it in this way, the inclusion of the same exact guns, the achievements for the Xbox players are almost exactly like the ones from the previous game, I don't understand how this is the 2nd highest rated cars videogame when it is probably my least favorite cars videogame, even maternational was better than this.

Cars 2: The Video Game (2011 Video Game)

I would pick this over the movie in a heartbeat

[8/10 · 1 August 2022]

Cars 2 was a terrible movie, but when I heard they made a videogame, I went into this with a grain of salt, but after playing it, I found it to be a great game, the characters and the dlc characters are all fun to play as, the story mode is long and a lot of fun, the inclusion of weapons and guns I found to be handled really well, but what are the problems? Well, going back to the characters, even though they all have stats, they seem to all be equal and there's no different outcome based on the stats, the animation quality of the game is not great, even though I played this both on Wii and Xbox 360, but this is still a great game and I highly recommend it.

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)

Unnecessary but a lot of fun

[7/10 · 31 July 2022]

This is the most fun of the whole franchise, it's also the funniest of the franchise as well, the joke about Hobbs/Dwayne Johnson's eyebrow raise is funny, or lines like "F1, F2, F you", those lines are genuinely funny, I also like Idris elba as the villian, he gives out a really good performance, as does everybody else, does it compete with some of the best entries in the franchise?, No, but it's actually really good and I didn't expect that.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Easily the best Thor movie, it's not a question

[8/10 · 26 July 2022]

The first movie was alright, I liked it, I just wish it was more of the Thor movie, the second movie was very bad and by far the worst MCU movie for the sake of it being extremely boring, but this movie is great because it has an emotional beat to it, amazing soundtrack, and the perfect amount of comedy blended into it, adding up to one of the best MCU movies yet.

Batman Begins (2005)

Overrated but it's still good movie

[7/10 · 26 July 2022]

It is overrated, the first half hour of the movie is confusing, and Christian bale is a mediocre Batman actor, but the villian are good, the story is great, the fight scenes are very well choreographed, Michael Caine is a amazing Alfred, and the main poster of the movie is actually really good at represent what this movie is about, I would recommend it but don't expect to much from it.

Teen Titans Go! (2013– )

It's a dumb show and it's definitely not for my taste, but it will entertain small children who didn't grow up with the original sjow

[7/10 · 18 July 2022]

I'm not reviewing the whole series because that would take way too long, and I also haven't seen every single episode from the show, it has the occasional unfunny potty humor that gets annoying very quickly and there isn't a story, but it is a show that will distract your children for a while, and the humor that isn't related to someone showing off their ass or anything like that, some of it is actually kind of funny, I don't like the series as a series in general, but I can appreciate what it's trying to be because it does so successfully.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

The peak of the MCU

[9/10 · 14 July 2022]

Yes, you read the title right, I will go as far as saying no way home is the greatest MCU movie ever, the death of aunt may nearly made me cry, but I found it dumb that the script made her say that she's fine after what happened in her apartment and then says with great power comes great responsibility, and then she instantly dies, it was emotional but it wasn't executed perfectly, I liked the inclusion of doctor strange, every single attempt at comedy made me laugh, while the plot of the movie might make it seem like it's fan service, it was still handled very seriously and not like some YouTube fanfiction, Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield were so great in this, their chemistry with each other and Tom Holland is iconic and gave us some of the most iconic moments in film history, the movie may have 5 villians, but unlike Spider-Man 3 or TASM 2 where it just overloads our mind on which plot we're supposed to focus on, this Spider-Man movie just puts it all together to make an easy to follow story, I also love the line by electro, "I wish there was a black Spider-Man", like, there is a whole movie about him and it's made by this same studio, and it's even better than this, but that's not to bring down this movie because this movie is amazing, Zendaya is still great as mj, Willem Dafoe is still excellent as green goblin, this movie is unlike any other movie I have ever seen, the ending made me want to cry because spiderman gave up everything for everyone, it's the perfect ending to a near perfect movie.