Gorilla Punk Reviews

The Andy Milonakis Show (2005–2007)

My IQ drops 20 points while watching this show

[7 July 2005]

"The Andy Milonakis Show" now represents the bottom rung of American culture. It involves a 29-year old posing as a 14-year old doing the most immature stunts imaginable. For instance, in one sketch, he walks up to people randomly on the street and asks them idiotic questions. Where's the originality in this? At least when Tom Green did random stuff in shopping malls or on sidewalks, a) he didn't pretend to be 14 and b) he put some effort into his humor. There's nothing witty or clever about this show. Any freak can make drivel like Andy Milonakis does. For crying out loud, he got his start putting his routines on the Internet!

As much as I am annoyed by Andy, I am even more disappointed by producer Jimmy Kimmel. This one time genius, who brought us the unforgettable Karl Malone segment on "The Man Show", has degraded himself to supporting no-talents. Way to go Jimmy. Your creativity will be sorely missed.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Artistic while still absolutely hilarious

[10/10 · 14 July 2004]

This is one of those comedies where you find yourself laughing non-stop. The person who wrote Napoleon Dynamite really played out the eccentricities of each of the characters. We have Napoleon, who lives with his chat room addicted older brother Kip at their grandmother's house, Pedro, a recently arrived immigrant who has an unusual way of getting to the ladies, Uncle Rico, obsessed with football and time travel, plus all the other minor characters, like the owners of the farm where Napoleon works. The popular students at Napoleon's school pick on Napoleon and Pedro for being nerdy, but unlike in the typical high school movie, this isn't overplayed. Rather, the movie focuses more on each of the character's personalities and how they live life.

This movie is like the 1986 Corey Haim movie Lucas if the people from Reno 911 made it. 10/10

ILL-ustrated (2003– )

Mostly funny

[19 June 2004]

While some of the segments on this show are unfunny (Time Pervs), most of them make me laugh so hard, I nearly have a heart attack. I like how they portray George W. Bush. I thought "George W. Bush's Punk'd" was one of the funniest things ever, seeing him wear a Donnas cap. I also thought the Yogi Bush skit was hilarious. When Yogi Bush sees the controls for the oil pump, he says "It's like one of them Nintendo games" and treats the controls like such. But nothing tops Samuel L. Jackson's PSAs, "The More You F***ing Know," where he goes nuts on some poor kids. No celebrity is safe from ridicule here, not even John Kerry, star of "John Kerry's Pro Snowboarder."

9 out of 10

Final Fantasy X (2001 Video Game)

Brilliant work of art

[21 December 2003]

This game really pulled me in. At first I was like, this is just going to be another video game. But I started identifying with the main character Tidus and his feelings for Yuna. I really liked how this game made me laugh at times and made me emotional at other times.

Final Fantasy X is in my opinion, a brilliant combination of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and the Golden Compass trilogy of books. It's like a romance novel for straight men.

My Boss's Daughter (2003)

Who cares if this is just an Ashton Kutcher vehicle? (Spoilers possibly)

[8/10 · 25 August 2003]

Yeah, I heard all about how they delayed the release of this movie until Ashton Kutcher was popular enough. At first glance, this movie may sound like another "Gigli" flick. But it's certainly not that.

The key to understanding this film is that it's a comedy. I couldn't stop laughing during this movie. Whoever comes up with these jokes should get some kind of award. A coked-out owl named O.J. has to be one of the funniest things I have seen in any recent movie. And it's just incredible all the damage that gets done to the boss's mansion. Everytime something in the house breaks, you just want to burst out laughing and eagerly anticipate what's going to shatter next.

This movie may not be Oscar material. But it certainly is far from crap. And while the studio execs should not have delayed its release, you shouldn't think of this as a promotional tool for Ashton Kutcher.

Riven: The Sequel to Myst (1997 Video Game)

An excellent alternative to drugs (POSSIBLE SPOILERS)

[4 August 2003]

This game is trippy to the tenth power. The creators of this game are absolute geniuses. The world of Riven totally sucked me in.

First, there are the awesome graphics and sound. The world seemed so real. The various environments, with the odd sunner creatures and the puzzled villagers here and there, made me feel like I was on some true island fantasy world. Each island had its own unique beauty to it. Riven was a place where I would build my vacation home on anyday.

I also love the plot. The cold character of Gehn was so fascinating. How he tries to trick you and how he keeps his subjects under a tight grip. He's even hooked on frog extract!

The one thing I hated was how the puzzles were nearly impossible. You'd have to be John Nash to beat the puzzles without using a cheatbook.

But that doesn't really matter. Riven has this environment I've never seen in any TV show or movie. Well, I have yet to try Myst III: Exile. But Riven is just so colorful, so crisp, it almost makes me mad that I'll never actually be able to visit it for real.

King's Quest VII: The Princeless Bride (1994 Video Game)

Very entertaining

[10/10 · 4 August 2003]

I found this game at a library benefit sale for $3 (it was used). A very good deal for me. I was very entertained by the fantasy environment of this. It was a true escape from reality. Sure the graphics were quite cartoony. But nevertheless, I had a lot of fun with this. I recommend this to people who love a good challenge.

Banzai (2003–2004)

Most irritating show ever

[21 July 2003]

This show makes The Anna Nicole Show look wholesome. "Banzai" consists of a string of retarded, unfunny "stunts," where the home viewers are supposed to bet on the outcome. Maybe if we got some prize money for every time we were right, this show would be worth watching.

Instead, the obnoxious stereotypical Japanese accents just make my head want to explode. How do the guys at Fox get away with this rubbish? If they replaced the faux Japanese "warrior" people with African-American plantation type people and renamed the show "Let Me Axe You Sometin'," the show wouldn't even air!

The folks at Fox need to get lobotomies and bring back quality shows like "Family Guy" instead of this unoriginal nonsense.

Ren & Stimpy 'Adult Party Cartoon' (2003)

This is one the first network for men?

[3 July 2003]

I expected to laugh when I saw the first episode of the revamped version of Ren and Stimpy. But it wasn't funny, just plain disgusting. Blatant gay sex? C'mon. I thought this programming was geared towards straight males. This show might fare better on Comedy Central. But not amidst shows like Stripperella and Gary the Rat, as well as reruns of Highlander and Baywatch.

Family Guy (1999– )

What were the FOX CEOs smoking?

[10/10 · 3 July 2003]

This is one show whose life was ended way too soon. Despite being Emmy material and one of the funniest cartoons ever, Fox had to replace this with Celebrity Boot Camp and Joe Millionaire garbage.

Family Guy is one of the few things in life that is more addictive than crack. After five minutes of one episode, you'll be hooked. Seth MacFarlane comes up with the craziest concepts. A talking baby bent on killing, a dog who loves cocktails, plus the funniest and most random dialogue ever. I liked this one flashback scene where Peter, who's 13 years old, asks his teacher, "Why did the dinosaurs die?" His teacher responds, "'Cuz you touch yourself at night." I was laughing so hard when I saw that scene!

Seriously, I don't know what Fox sees in pure rubbish like Paradise Hotel and Mr. Personality. I'm sick of shows where all the people are unfunny, unoriginal, supermodel material. Family Guy is absolute genius.

Do the Right Thing (1989)

Truly spectacular

[10/10 · 11 May 2003]

This film actually replaced Pulp Fiction as my favorite movie. Do the Right Thing is so powerful and so thought-provoking.

I live in Hawaii, which is such a diverse state, where Filipinos, Koreans, Japanese, Italians, Germans, Hawaiians, and Micronesians can live in the same neighborhood peacefully. I didn't realize how damaging racism can be to a place like Bed-Stuy until I saw this movie.

I found it astonishing how Buggin' Out could make such a big deal about his Air Jordans being ruined by the white bicyclist. Here, in Hawaii, we would be frustrated if somebody accidentally ruined our new sneakers. But we wouldn't make it a racial issue and intimidate whoever made the mistake.

Bravo to Spike Lee for painting a picture of the evils of racism. This should've won Best Picture.

Half Baked (1998)

Dave Chappelle is more hilarious than ever!

[10/10 · 23 March 2003]

I'm surprised Dave Chappelle doesn't get more work. His new show is funny, funny, funny, and this movie is funny to the tenth power.

Dave's character, Thurgood, starts off as a loser stoner character who works as a custodian for a major medical lab. But when his friend Kenny winds up in jail, Thurgood comes up with a plan to steal medicinal marijuana at the lab and sell it to raise bail money. Thurgood's a genius!

I do not smoke marijuana. Still, this movie proves that stoners can still be Einsteins. Not only did Thurgood come up with his "fundraising" plan, but he also came up with an unforgettable trick for what to do when you've got a date, but you're broke. I will never forget Thurgood's cleverness.

20/10

Family Guy (1999– )

Why?

[10/10 · 13 March 2003]

Why did they have to cancel this show? This was like The Simpsons with attitude! I loved this show! It was like a South Park that was suitable for broadcast TV. It pushed the limits, but not to the point of protest. It was flat out funny, if stupid. I laughed so hard when a teenage Peter in a flashback asked his teacher why the dinosaurs went extinct, only to hear his teacher say, "Because you touch yourself at night."

Fox seriously needs to toss out its Married by Joe Millionaire at Celebrity Boot Camp garbage and bring back Family Guy!

The Darwin Conspiracy (1999 TV Movie)

Disappointing (SPOILERS)

[4/10 · 23 February 2003]

SPOILERS AHEAD:

There are so many loose ends in this movie. If the Ice Man really did come from a much earlier civilization, what happened to all those buildings in that civilization? Why is that man the only proof of the civilization?

And about Andy? At first, Jack is angry about him receiving the experimental treatment. But at the end, he's happy God made him a continuation of a long-forgotten civilization. Jack's not even worried about Andy possibly dying like the Professor did.

I thought the scenes with the angry monkey were funny. But on the whole, this movie was very sloppy. Kinda like if Rain Man was a sci-fi B-movie from the '50s, directed by some orangutan.

The Mole: Episode #3.1 (2003) Season 3, Episode 1

Not the same, but Kathy Griffin makes up for what's missing

[4 February 2003]

I really liked how in the first two Mole series, part of the game was getting from city to city. For example, the last team to make it to the next hotel would have to sleep in their car in the parking lot overnight. In "Celebrity Mole: Hawaii", the contestants stayed in the same lodge every night, and they were shuttled to the various arenas. That made the game less fun. But Kathy Griffin is hilarious in this show! I personally think she's the mole. The producers probably made it that way so that she could stay on the show longer than the others, providing humor that would keep viewers watching. If that's the case, it worked on me. Perhaps this show will start a comeback for the underrated Kathy. Oh yeah, and Frederique Van Der Waal is hot in this show, despite her age!

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (2002 Video Game)

Morally bankrupt, but the most fun in the world!

[19 January 2003]

SOME SPOILERS AHEAD

This game is so wrong on many levels. Blowing up property, killing pizza delivery boys, pimping hookers, shooting it out with cops, starting riots, how morally absent!

But who cares? This game is pure fun. I love the soundtrack. And the plot. This is more of an interactive movie than a plain old video game. It's a great harmless way to take out your anger. The dialogue is hilarious too. I predict this will inspire people to write crime dramas more than it will inspire people to steal cars and cause trouble. Has there been a dramatic rise in crime since this game's release? Didn't think so.

Everybody should get this game. It is as addictive as coke, but much cheaper, and minus all the negative side effects.

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

It's scary to think they actually bothered making this sequel!

[3/10 · 19 January 2003]

I really enjoyed the first Scary Movie. It was hilarious. So why did they bother making a sequel?

There were too many dead spots between the "jokes". It seemed like all the humor was forced. I didn't like how the college students were trapped inside a haunted house. There was more freedom for jokes in the first Scary Movie, as it took place in a whole town, and not inside some stuffy mansion.

Christopher Kennedy Masterson sucked in this movie. Cheri Oteri would've made this movie better, even if she didn't come back as Gail Hailstorm. Cheri Oteri was hilarious in the first movie!

Don't bother watching this movie. I'm serious. It sucks!

Loser (2000)

Feel-good movie for guys

[13 January 2003]

I rented this movie thinking it would be a comedy like American Pie, especially since Jason Biggs was the star. This movie barely made me laugh. However, it did make me feel good. The growing romance between Paul and Dora wasn't overdone. It seemed realistic. I could relate to Paul's situation, where you find yourself in a new environment, have a hard time adjusting, and find that special someone who keeps you going. 8/10

Dangerous Ground (1997)

Meaningful "gangsta" movie

[9/10 · 13 January 2003]

Ice Cube, believe it or not, was convincing as a scholarly South African exile who returns home after the end of apartheid. I felt this movie had more meaning than any other typical "gangsta" movie. I also enjoyed Elizabeth Hurley. Sure, some parts weren't believable, including the very last scene, which was really lame, but overall, I liked Dangerous Ground. Very few films have been made about South Africa, and I'm glad movie writers have managed to look beyond South Central L.A. for a black action thriller setting.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

The best movie of all time!

[10/10 · 18 August 2002]

This movie is absolutely original and hilarious! The action is cutting edge, from Mia's overdose scene to Marcellus in the pawn shop. Best of all, the dialogue is unforgettable! Ezekiel 25:17 and Quarter Pounders in Paris will be discussion topics for years to come.

This is my favorite movie. On a scale of 1 - 10, I give it a 20.

Run Lola Run (1998)

Forget traditional Hollywood movies. This movie rocks.

[10/10 · 2 June 2002]

First, let me say that this movie is nothing like any of the other "movies" I have been watching ever since I could walk. Before "Run Lola Run", all of my movies had a traditional plot (beginning, middle, end). Which I thought was necessary until I saw this movie.

I like how this movie explores the concept of how little things in our life can make a huge difference later on. It focuses in on little details (like the people she runs by and all the collisions here and there) rather than the big picture (Lola has to save her boyfriend's ass from thugs). I'm glad Tom Twyker didn't try to sugarcoat "Run Lola Run" with ILM-esque special effects. I did like the techno rhythms and sudden scene changes though.

This is a really good movie. Along with "American Beauty", everybody should see this movie. It might make you a better person. It just might.

Jackass (2000–2007)

Who needs fancy scripts when you've got jackasses?

[30 May 2002]

The TV show "Jackass" proves that you can make a show without highly paid joke writers, fancy sets, and big shot celebrities that is still laugh-your-ass off hilarious. This show rocks! Whether it's urban kayaking, poo diving, cup testing, whatever, this show is PURE GENIUS! 10/10!

American Beauty (1999)

By far, the deepest movie EVER

[10/10 · 19 January 2002]

American Beauty has got to be the best movie ever. Better than Citizen Kane, Star Wars, Casablanca, any movie. First of all, it is so simple. No epic war sequences, no fancy symphonies, it's just the story of a suburban family. Yet, there is so much to learn from this movie. I have never been the same since seeing this movie. This movie has helped me realize what beauty truly is. Beauty isn't just good lucks. Beauty is anything that strikes you as amazing. Beauty uplifts. The story is about Lester Burnham, a somewhat-disgruntled middle-aged dad, who gains a second wind in life after meeting his daughter's cheerleading friend Angela. A forty-two year old dad and a high school cheerleader are perhaps the most unlikely pair. But the important thing is that Lester realizes that everything has beauty. And, with help from his pot-smoking neighbor Ricky, Lester embarks on a quest to make radical changes to his life. I liked this movie because of Lester's rebellious spirit. No social chains hold him. Lester is free like an eagle. I urge everybody to watch this movie.