Neenee-b Reviews

The Proposal (I) (2009)

I Do ....maybe.....if no one else offers

[6/10 · 1 August 2009]

PLOT: Successful B!tch is about to be deported and needs to marry her long suffering and easygoing assistant to stay in the country. They are stalked by an immigration officer and head up to Alaska to meet the grooms reasonably quirky family. Unlike frosty Alaska the Successful B!tches heart begins to melt. They fall in love. They fall out. They re- fall in love. They get engaged for real. END PLOT

If you have read this and are thinking - "Hey! You have totally spoiled the movie for me" then where the hell have you been living since the dawn of time? All romantic comedies must follow the same beats. It's the law, it's probably in the American Constitution somewhere so as with most rom-coms The Proposal doesn't rely on the story for originality or shocks but rather on the performance of the leads and supporting cast, as we already know before the teaser trailer has ended that they will in fact, live happily ever after.

Nowhere in cinematic history has the two leads in a movie been as preened, polished, groomed, styled and perfected as Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. They are barely human. They exist solely to be beautiful. Even if they are covered in mud or almost drowned in the Alaskan sea they still pull of dowdy in the most preened, polished, groomed, styled and perfected way.

Bullock and Reynolds have the advantage of being naturally charismatic and both can to comedy competently up to standard rom-com expectations. If the movie had starred Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey then you know you would be in for a tough ninety minutes.

The problem is Bullocks character, when in New York and in b!tch mode never really seemed that threatening. Is it possible for Bullock to be unlikeable? She lacked that extra bit of bitterness and sharpness that someone like Meryl Streep could easily just phone-in to her performance. This meant that the inevitable softening of her character Margaret didn't really pull any emotional punches as she didn't come off as particularly mean or distant in the first place. I am not heartless though, when Betty White (a name I probably should recognise but I honestly don't!) gave her a necklace which is a longstanding family heirloom it was quite sweet to watch her realise that she was an accepted member of the Paxton family.

Reynolds was just Reynolds, walking around with two out of his small selection of looks. This movie we were treated to "confused" and "smart ass". You can tell them apart by how far he opens his mouth and widens his eyes.

As with all rom-coms there is that one character who is there for the purpose of obtaining cheap laughs. He is usually a male most likely to be effeminate in nature or an in-your-face-homosexual, as, we all know - gay people are hilarious (apart from Will and Grace). The Proposal went the other way with Oscar Nunez' who stars (so I have read) in the American version of The Office playing the roles of the town stripper, shop assistant and vicar. The audience seemed to really enjoy his strip routine and were in hysterics when he popped up out of the blue to marry Margaret and Andrew (Reynolds) but me - not so much.

Apart from Bullock and Reynolds there is nothing more beautiful than rom-com New York. It is as preened, polished, groomed, styled and perfected as can be. It does look gorgeous but it was totally upstaged by Alaska. It turns out Alaska isn't all husky dogs, igloos and Sarah Palin (pitiful attempt at political humour) as the location was gorgeous and to be honest I would take small town Sitka over uptown New York any day of the week

I think that the only flaw in The Proposal is that I was there to see it. The audience in the packed out screen two were thoroughly enjoying themselves, laughing out aloud at the tiniest little thing whereas the most I could muster up was a smile at Gammys fake heart attack. I didn't sit there stone faced the whole time and I did enjoy the movie for the time filling ninety minutes that it was but I don't think I laughed once as I found nothing particularly funny in the entire movie.

The Proposal could be compared to an old repeat of Friends - you watch it for easygoing familiarity and comfort and not for high class and witty humour.

I would give it a generously watchable 6/10; you know going into the movie that you wont be watching anything remotely original but the charisma of Bullock and Reynolds give it an extra few points.

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Dragged to Hell and back

[8/10 · 30 May 2009]

Sam Raimi has returned to his horror movie roots with Drag me to Hell, a movie staring Alison Lohman as Christine Brown and Justin Long as her college professor boyfriend, annoyingly named Clay.

Christine finds herself playing the quiet, blonde, homely, formerly fat, farm girl now working in a bank role. As she is up for promotion Christine unwisely asserts her new found authority on an elderly woman who has fallen behind on her mortgage payments. Mrs Ganush, (a fantastic Lorna Raver) doesn't take to kindly to her eviction attacks Christine in the bank parking bay and puts a curse on her causing her to be literally dragged down to hell in three days time.

It all seems quite run of the mill but Drag me to Hell is a horror movie that is actually intentionally funny. The fight between Mrs Ganush and Christine in the car is one of the most original and hysterically entertaining fights between two females ever to be shot.

The plot moves on towards more conventional horror movie expectations and if you allow yourself to let go and enjoy the movie all the usual scares and jumps are there. What makes Drag me to Hell stand out is the fact that whilst the scares are happening and the tension is building the outcome is so purposefully full of black humour you cant help but laugh. All this is done without one drop of blood, with the exception of a scene in the bank which was more of a shout-out to past Raimi movies.

The general trend in Hollywood is "the more gore - the less scares" and Drag me to Hell used this formula in reverse so well.

The séance and graveyard scenes were so tense yet also so ridiculously bizarre (the talking goat to name but one!) you couldn't help but laugh through your fear.

As with most movies you have to suspend disbelief and as a movie lover I do judge each movie on its own merit and take it for what it is but even my imagination will never be able to believe Justin Long is a professor of psychology. If I had to pick a fault in the movie then that would be it.

I would thoroughly recommend Drag me to Hell. If the recent overindulgence of gorno doesn't do anything for you (it doesn't for me) then this is a solid return to supernatural horror. I would give it an 8/10.

Angels & Demons (2009)

Angels and Demons

[8/10 · 15 May 2009]

After the ridiculous amount of hype that surrounded the release of The Da Vinci Code it was only a matter of time before Dan Browns "other" Robert Langdon novel got the big screen treatment with Ron Howard returning as director and Tom Hanks (sans mullet) playing the said Robert Langdon.

This time Robert Langdon finds himself embroiled in another church cover up when the Illuminati rise from the underground and attempt to destroy the Catholic church and the only man capable in the entire world, of stopping this event, is of course Robert Langdon.

Tom Hanks is fine as Robert Langdon and kudos for him for being brave enough to wear Speedos in todays critical era and to say some of his lines in such a straight and serious manner without sniggering. The rest of the cast were fine, although Ewan McGregors Irish accent faltered on many occasions.

The plot, like the novel, has enough twists and turns to keep the audience engrossed and some of the set pieces, especially the "fire" scene are very unsettling to watch. There was a good mix of suspense and action to break up all the talking and trips to the Vatican Archives (which was not anything like I pictured them to be when I read the book!)

The sets were gorgeous to look at - replica or not the locations were impressive.

No matter how intelligent this movie, or indeed any of Dan Browns novels claim to be, what they essentially boil down to is a grown up treasure hunt, with an intelligent man, sprouting exposition which, when read appears incredulous, but when spoken on the big screen, is at times down right laughable, in the chase to find this particular movies "holy grail".

I would give the movie 8/10 but perhaps that is being overly generous. It is a very entertaining movie granted, but the entire success of Robert Langdons mission depended solely on the fact that in 400 years not one of the cleaning ladies in Vatican City moved any of the conveniently placed statues which so helpfully (literally) pointed out the way in every church - either that or the Illuminati where in charge of the cleaning.

Dan Brown is given a lot of criticism for his writing. He is not going to be remembered amongst the great modern writers, but what he good at is tapping into all the clichés and tricks used to keep the reader hooked, with constant cliff-hangers and interesting snippets of fiction portrayed as fact and like him or loath him - it works.

Angels and Demons is a very watchable movie and the fact that these types of movies are still very profitable is probably a conspiracy Da Vinci would be proud of

Star Trek (2009)

Living long whilst prospering

[10/10 · 9 May 2009]

I am not a Star Trek fan. I know who Captain Kirk is, I have heard of Spock, Scotty and a Klingon, although admittedly all I know of them is if you get one of the starboard bow you are screwed. I went to see Star Trek not to pick plot holes, inconsistencies with the original or to have a bitch in general - I went solely because it looked like a good movie.

The opening scene focuses on George Kirk, father of James T, becoming Captain of the Enterprise and rescuing eight hundred people in a total of twelve minutes, sacrificing his life in the process. The opening battle was beautifully shot - the sound of the explosions were muted and we had the pleasure of hearing a simple orchestral score over the action. It was the kind of shot a lesser movie would have ended on rather that opened with. This was a good sign.

The movie follows the known crew of the Enterprise though their first battle with the Romulans the leader of them being Eric Banas Nero whose reasons for his mass genocide of the Vulcan race was actually the most confusing in cinematic history.

The plot, apart from the confusing Romulan back-story was very strong and there were some genuinely funny moments, all of which were intentional. Simon Pegg, Karl Urban and Chris Pine were all very capable of playing such legendary characters but the casting of Winona Ryder as Spocks mother did throw me slightly -either her life of crime as aged her drastically or else her digital ageing was completely unnecessary - just cast someone of the appropriate age or if you feel the need to add a star cameo for the love of god pick an actual star!

I was pleasantly surprised about how good this movie actually was. I am glad it was an early summer blockbuster as it may have gotten lost in the Transformers2 of T4 hype but it thoroughly enjoys its success and if there is a sequel I would go and see it.

I would give the movie a rare 10/10. I don't know if it was consistent with the original series and I don't care that I probably missed a ton of in-jokes and throw backs to the TV show but what I do know from my complete and utter newbie point of view is that last night I saw a bloody impressive movie.

Bring on the sequel.

State of Play (2009)

State of Play

[7/10 · 7 May 2009]

State of Play stars Russell Crowe as Cal McAffrey a journalist who is investigating a sex scandal involving his former college roommate Stephen Collins (Ben Affleck). In true Hollywood form Cal is smarter than the Washington police force and uncovers a bigger story resulting in the privatisation of domestic security but he needs to find a named source to run his story here we are introduced to Rachel McAdams' Della Frye who assists him in his quest i.e. to find out who is being conned and by whom.

The plot of State of Play isn't really anything original but Russell Crowe can give any movie an extra something special which in an unfortunate twist of fate as Ben Affleck has the opposite effect.

The movie had originally cast Brad Pitt and Edward Norton two actors who do have chemistry but the chemistry between Crowe and Affleck fell flat the fact that the audience are met to believe that Ben Affleck is old enough to room with Russell Crowe is perhaps asking the audience to dispense their belief in the movies reality a tad too much.

Helen Mirren (being overly British with her choice of swearwords), Jeff Daniels and the ever annoying Jason Bateman make up the supporting cast.

Although there is nothing new in the movie you can become engrossed in the story but you will not be surprised at how it ends.

There were a few unintentionally funny moments, with a horrible photo-shopped army photo and Rachel McAdams regression from an intelligent reporter to Russell Crowes lap dog (at the end she went literally skipping off behind him) which interrupted the serious proceedings.

I would give it 7/10. It wasn't new. It wasn't fresh but it was watchable which is probably the biggest con of the whole movie.

Coraline (2009)

Coraline

[8/10 · 5 May 2009]

Coraline follows the story of a young girl (voiced by Dakota Fanning) who has just moved into a new house with her parents (Terri Hatcher and John Hodgman). As her parents are too busy to spend time with her she goes exploring and comes across a doorway in the living room wall which leads her to an alternate reality where she meets her Other Mother and Other Father and a the usual morality tale ensues.

This children's movie is directed by Henry Selick, the genius behind The Nightmare Before Christmas the kids film that adults enjoy more than any child so although it is bright and colourful be warned that the plot itself is told in a really dark manner which is not suitable for young children. The Other Mother is a fantastically scary Character that even Maleficent would have nightmares about. There were a couple of five to six year olds that were not happy during some of the scarier moments of the movie and to be honest I was more scared during Coraline than I have ever been during an adult horror movie.

Unlike most children's films there is a very strong story being told on screen and there is something very unsettling about the buttons for eyes idea.

The version I watched was in 3D and there were some nice moments but this movie, although gorgeous to look at is all about the story so if you cant see it in 3D then do not worry.

There isn't the usual celebrity voice cast which is refreshing and the movie contains some very clever set pieces and characters.

I would give it an 8/10. It is a fantastically brightly coloured, dark in content story which is not suitable for children under five and adults over twenty-three.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Wolverine claws at box office (awful awful pun)

[7/10 · 2 May 2009]

In 2002 X2 arrived and marked one of the strongest Marvel sequels ever made and inevitably in 2006 X3-The Last Stand arrived and boy did it suck. A change of director caused a change of setting, style, tone, character development and to be frank skill. The man who brought the world Chris Tucker almost single-handedly killed of a franchise so here we are three years later in 2009 with the X-Men Team dropped and replaced by the first of a new Origins series and of course we start with Wolverine, the show hog of the first three movies.

The opening sequence follows Wolverines back-story from a brief childhood scene to his many cameos at each major war America has been involved in - so there are quite a lot. James (young Wolverine) and Victor (Young Sabertooth) travel the world together and in true montage form Victor strays further towards the dark-side whereas James becomes more moralistic with each war. At the end of the opening credits montage we are introduced to William Stryker. James and Victor are recruited into his mercenary programme, which include mutants as Agent Zero, Beak (rather pointless) John Wraith (token black character), Fred Dukes, who literally grows into Blob and Wade Wilson played by the scene stealing Ryan Reynolds.

The hype surrounding the Wade Wilson cameo was huge and it would be interesting to see just how large that role was intended to be. Ryan Reynolds had about ten lines in total but completely stole the show as anyone who fights with swords in an automatic machine gun era generally would. This didn't surprise me and I was ready for all the Deadpool Origins rumours that would no doubt start but the fate his character met has made be doubt that would ever happen which is the most depressing part of the whole movie.

Obviously the most important aspect of any Wolverine story is adamantium and we were treated to a strong solid explanation as to how he came to be equipped with his adamantium skeleton and claws and it was done in such a way that justified Wolverines need for vengeance against Stryker and Sabertooth and he enlists the help of Remy le Beau, Gambit, and escapee from The Island (stupid name), a facility Stryker had set up to experiment on mutants to create a super mutant.

Fans of Wolverine, X-Men and Marvel either love Gambit or hate him. There are those who think it is sacrilege that the only mention of Gambit in the X-Men movies is his name flashing up on a computer and there are those who think that he would add nothing to proceedings. I am a 90's kid, I watched the X-Men cartoon so I am the former. I was eagerly awaiting Gambits first appearance on the big screen and I wasn't disappointed. The accent wasn't quite what I was expecting but was anyone ever honestly expecting a good Cajun accent? If anything it is most likely a Gambit Origins movie we will get when you see how his character was left hanging in the end -Wolverine ditched him and he never caught up with Scott Summers and Emma Frost so never got to join the X-Men…..nice cameo at the end by the way! Live Schrieber was very good as Sabertooth - as good as Jackman is Wolverine. They played off each other well but they were both out performed in the fight stakes by Weapon 11 in the final battle but if ever there is a call to have Sabertooth in a movie I hope they have Schriebers number on speed dial.

I was looking forward to Wolverine but I was nervous too. If this movie bombed it would probably mark the end of the X series and poor cold water on any future attempts at a spin off but luckily it was a good movie. It was quite slow to start with but once injected with adamantium the movie picked up pace and we were off. As with most action movies the love interest scenes are the weakest but that is just part and parcel of any movie.

I would give it 7/10. It loses a point for the lack of Deadpool, Gambit, the pointless lumberjack scenes (just get on with it) and a point for throwing in a full naked Jackman waterfall scene without prior warning as I nearly choked on my Smarties trying to get my neck craned at the appropriate angle at such rapid speed. Other than that it was all good.

Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

Monsters v Aliens

[8/10 · 14 April 2009]

A long time ago in a land far far away, well the year 2001 to be precise Shrek arrived and set the benchmark for modern day animation. Shrek had the one thing that many other children's films did not have - the adult factor and because of this a franchise was spawned that peaked at Shrek2 and died an undignified death at Shrek the Third. Every animated movie since the release of Shrek has desperately tried to gain adult acceptance as that is were the true money lies and on the Easter Weekend we were treated to Monsters v Aliens.

It stars the usual big Hollywood names in the trendy fashion that is voicing a CGI kids film. This time we had the talents of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogan (who is more than everywhere these days), a British Huge Laurie as the Monsters and Keifer Sutherland hamming it up voice style as General Monger. I don't know what it was, maybe because I actually liked the actors voicing the characters but I thought they were all great. Reese Witherspoon did a great job as Susan (Ginormica) and Seth Rogan is apparently just as funny doing voice work (and gaining most of the laughs) as the literally brainless B.O.B.

The story is as basic as it gets. Monsters are imprisoned. Aliens attack. Monsters fight Aliens and are accepted into the world. Although the story is basic that isn't a criticism. It was simple enough for the young kids to follow but it is the telling of the story and all the little side scenes such as those involving the President of America and all the daft clichés were for the adults.

The animation was fantastic to look at. It had all the polish of Pixar without the over smaltzy Disneyness that usually accompanies it and was just as funny as the rough and ready Ice Age series (which in my view outranks Shrek any day of the week!) There were some very funny set pieces and the action was fast and exciting. There was nothing to scary for very young children but there is enough action that the older kids (and adults!) will be impressed by. I will admit to laughing out loud on more that once occasion especially at the "global warming - convenient truth" quip that no body else in the audience seemed to pick up on.

I would give the movie 8/10. It is an animated movie that you can actually volunteer to take your kids to and enjoy it just as much as they can. There probably will be a sequel but if you look at Shrek (again) the second one is always better!!

Fast & Furious (2009)

Fast and Furious....more like stalled and burnt out

[5/10 · 11 April 2009]

There are times when a movie can be fully overshadowed by its trailer - Miami Vice is one, X-Men3 is another, (although the flaws in that movie will haunt for the rest of my time in this life and the next). Fast and Furious is one of those movies. The trailer far exceeds the movie in terms of action, acting and excitement.

I have to make it clear I didn't like The Fast and The Furious, I have never even seen 2 Fast 2 Furious but I loved Tokyo Drift but there I was on opening night in a completely packed out screen one.

The movie starts off so well, straight into the action with a good car heist. Then the action stops for what seems like forever so that we can get the obligatory back story of this movies villain. This is a normal process in any movie but Fast and Furious' main flaw was that its two male leads cannot act. They look good running, they look good when they are driving, they look bad-ass when they are frowning but for the love of god don't give either of them more than two lines of dialogue per scene!! After some awful awful scenes with dialogue we were treated to the second of (only!) four car scenes in the entire movie. The race scene should have been filled with great driving stunts and action but it was broken up to much with bad cutting, the insertion of strange CGI mapping effects and was narrated by Sally Frickin' Sat-Nav. I'm sure Johnny-Special-Effects loved making the road map for the audience to follow but seriously, stick to the driving - giving the audience a heads up that Vin Diesel and Paul Walker should take the "next right" really just took away from the excitement of the scene.

The dialogue was woefully written and wasn't helped by the cast who really should be seen and not heard. The wittiest quips were sexualised car innuendos but that was to be expected but the smug look on Vin Diesel face every time he uttered one was like watching a monkey figure out how to use a knife and fork. For the love of god Vin you make a reasonable action hero but do not kid yourself you can act or are in the slightest bit amusing.

The plot didn't matter. I love my movies but when I go to see an action movie I expect action. I don't expect, especially given the acting talent that we had the pleasure of watching, proceedings to be taken too seriously. Fast and Furious wasn't supposed to believe it was a serious drug crime movie...it was supposed to be an action movie with lots of good car scenes. There were to many gaps between action scenes and these were mostly filled with the most unbelievable bunch of FBI agents, including Paul Walker and some rather amusing scenes of Vin Diesel trying to portray emotion….

When the driving scenes came they were quite good, although nothing original was to be seen anywhere on screen and judging by the imaginative title idea of just dropping the "the's" I don't know why I was surprised. The cars, of course where the most gorgeous items on screen, that's right the cars, even those that had exploded and were in flames still had more screen presence than Paul Walker could only ever dream of having.

The cars stole the show and when the cars were actually allowed to race they were awesome.

I would give the movie 5/10. If it wasn't for the fact that the cars were fantastic I would've been out of there. Skip Fast and Furious and go straight onto Tokyo Drift which had better action, better actors and had at least the common decency to embrace the fact that it was a movie about cars and fun and not pretend to be a drama with a few car scenes thrown in.

Fast and Furious failed its MOT. See Vin you aren't the only one who can make a car pun.

The Boat That Rocked (2009)

The Boat Rocks

[9/10 · 4 April 2009]

Its not often I will see a comedy in the cinema, in fact the biggest laughs from me in the cinema usually come from movies that are unintentionally funny. The last time I honestly saw a laugh out loud comedy (twice) in the cinema was Hot Fuzz and it is important to note that it was British. The last few comedies I have the displeasure of watching in the cinema were The Accidental Husband and I honestly think I died a little inside after those long ninety minutes and Pineapple Express, a movie that would have been so much better if the Pegg/Frost/Wright team had thought of it first. Key point - they are British and they made Hot Fuzz.

I don't know what it is with American comedies - I don't get the Superbad/Knocked up humour that is constantly topping the box office. The Frat Pack are now old and embarrassing (Ben Stiller hasn't made a decent movie in years!!) and the Uma Thurman/Jennifer Aniston school of comedy was never funny to begin with.

Maybe its just that I don't get America humour any more. I cant watch Friends. I have never watched Ugly Betty and I have even lost interest in Family Guy. The only America comedy show that I will watch and laugh out aloud to is South Park, a show that does parody, satirical humour and down right silliness to brilliant extremes. Maybe that says more about me. Maybe I am stuck in the past with my love of Pythonesque humour and bitterness as in the wonderful world of Black Books. Maybe my comedy taste hasn't moved on to the strange world of gross out and dorky teens having awkward sexual encounters with baked goods or themselves and don't get me started on Juno and you know what?

Thank God for that.

The Boat That Rocked is British and I am grateful for that. If it were an American comedy it would have been set on the crystal clear waters of Miami with beautiful skinny girls lying on beaches and surfers surfing whilst looking like they were at an Adonis convention, but no The Boat That Rocked is full of unattractive misfits (Bill Nighy, Nick Frost, Philip Seymour Hoffman et al) , each one with their unique personality, radio broadcaster style, and all containing a passion for music.

The movie takes place in the late 60's where pirate radio was at its peak and the biggest pirate radio station of them all is Radio Rock, which is situated on the North Sea on an old rusty boat.

The plot was admittedly paper thin. Pirate Radio station pushes boundaries and annoys Parliament. Parliament tries to abolish pirate radio station. Pirate Radio station rebels. There was also a "who's the daddy?" sub-plot thrown in. It wasn't the strongest of plots but I didn't care. The characters were all so likable and the big bad British Parliament so over their top in the evilness you did become emotionally invested.

You are invested to such a high degree that when the final act comes, which made the last 30mins of Titanic seems like a trip out in a riverboat, it was really hard to watch. Not only are you involved with the characters on the boat, you also realise that you are totally in love with the Boat itself - it became like the Serenity for the sea.

The soundtrack was awesome and although there were quite a lot of montage scenes I didn't mind as they were always fun - most notably the stag scene to Lazy Sunday Afternoon by Toy Dolls and a fabulously touching underwater scene to Father and Son by Cat Stevens.

There are a few key scenes to look out for - the Spartacus scene were they all decide one by one to stand up to the law, Simon's Dusty Springfield scene and the entire final act.

Some people will not like it. Some people will complain about the perhaps to simple plot but I say embrace it. Enjoy the enjoy the silliness, enjoy the music and just roll with it.

9/10. It loses the point for having Duffy sing over the end credits - the sound track was so impressive and original only to lose it at the very last second.

Knowing (2009)

Knowing - I wish I didn't (very spoilery)

[3/10 · 29 March 2009]

Watching the teaser trailer will pretty much sum up the entire plot for you, as is expected with all Nicolas Cage movies. Man find page with numbers. Numbers mean something. Man tries to find out what the problem is. Man is thought to be crazy. Man is correct - ha! to the doubters. Just swap "page with numbers" to "map" and you have the exact same synopsis for two of Cage's other blockbusters

Knowing starts off with the most boring credit sequence in the history of film. Just names over a weird overly ominous score. We then get a bit of back-story as to the origins of the numbers. Turns out some creepy kid wrote them for a time capsule which will be dug up in fifty years. The children, whether they lived fifty years ago or in the present day were far to excited about the time capsule. If this was the movies version of reality then I knew I was in for a tough evening. Once the back-story finishes we were then treated to another boring credit sequence. This time we got the ominous score and the names going over what looked like someone messing about on Google Earth with a dodgy internet connection.

We are introduced to Cages character John and his son Caleb. Cage apparently lectures at MIT but he, his class and the audience have no clue what he is rambling on about. The only thing that is clear is that EveRy SinGle SyllABle Must BE ProNounced when he teaches. At home he and his son are dealing with the upsetting loss of their wife and mother who has be deceased for almost a year - long enough for wallpaper to peal of the walls, the garden to become overgrown and the house to decay at a rapid pace. Its clear who took care of the upkeep and maintenance of Casa De Cage.

The film maker doesn't drag out the time capsule story for too long and this I honestly thank him for. Caleb gets the page with the numbers and John finds the page and within seconds sees that the numbers are predicting all major disasters from the last fifty years. If you think it appears ridiculous reading that you should see the scene where John has to explain it to his MIT colleague

The plot as awful moves on and we meet Diane and her daughter Abbie, who like Caleb is beginning to hear whispers. They serve no purpose plot wise whatsoever although Rose Byrne does get praise for the most hysterical performance of the year so far - she was one frantic cry away from "wont somebody please think of the children".

Whilst all the number excitement is going on there are four weird guys, who can only be described as the Pet Shop Boys and Spike from Buffy's strange love children, are stalking John and his son. They are creepy for the first few times we see them but then their constant staring and seriousness becomes unintentionally funny.

They finally kidnap the two kids and we are all grateful as we realise we are heading towards the end. We follow John as he chases after them into an overgrown wood, he calls frantically for the return of the his son, who appears out of nowhere holding a big white bunny. . Turns out the four "Spike Shop Boys" gave him the bunny as a gift and they are all going with them to be safe. I forgot to mention that the sun is going to flare out and kill us all. That is the last thing that the numbers predicted.

Anyway it turns out John cant go as he cant hear the whispers. Then all of a sudden a big spaceship appears, the four guys literally melt into green aliens and as Nicolas Cage drops to his knees in an over dramatic fashion in disbelief the audience nearly starts to cry along with him. The four aliens, who have very obvious Angel Wing type shadows, two kids and two bunnies all go off into space as the earth dies, taking poor John along with it.

We do get a "nice after earth is destroyed" scene with the two kids in white clothes running through a CGI corn field towards a big CGI tree which I am assuming is supposed to represent the tree in the Garden of Eden. Or something. By that stage I think I slipped into shock at the sudden, and unexpected introduction of aliens.

The movie was awful. The entire cast was awful. The acting was awful. The script was awful. I want to meet the person who wrote the alien ending, shake him by the neck and as "Why?" I will admit though that the two set pieces - the plane crash and the subway crash, both of which used the ever-present threat or terrorism to cheaply were actually quite good. We were also treated to some fantastic Cage overacting during the crashes and him trying to emote afterwards which almost makes it worth it.

I would give the movie 3/10. It gets the points for the two set pieces. It loses the rest of the points for everything else being so awful. It has topped the box office and that is due to the appearance of Nicolas Cage - an actor who has been living on borrowed time, phoning in the same old performance for years now. Even playing the always fun game of watching his wig, his weird elbow powered run or his genuine inability to act isn't fun any more and that is the saddest thing about the whole movie.

One thing that will keep me awake at night is the bunnies! What is the significance of the bunnies?!

The Young Victoria (2009)

Almost reining supreme

[7/10 · 7 March 2009]

The Young Victoria follows the early years of Britain's longest serving monarch Queen Victoria (Emily Blunt) through to her marriage to Prince Albert (Rupert Friend).

All the usual ingredients of a costume drama are present and of course that is a good thing. Where would a costume drama be without the flamboyant dresses, beautiful countryside or the complicated dances? The ingredients were all present but that does not mean to say that they were there in the right quantity, mixed together correctly or were cooked at the right temperature. What this ridiculous metaphor is attempting to say is that although it had the makings of a great drama it did fall short.

As with all stories following the British monarchy we are treated to life at court, conspiracy and conniving but this all fell quite short of the mark. The viciousness or desperation that makes such good viewing just wasn't there. It felt as though it was all just mentioned in passing. The ever dependable Paul Bettany as Lord Melbourne and Mark Strong (who is everywhere these days) as Sir John Conroy were very watchable at trying to play the political game but to be honest very little happened.

The best scenes in the whole movie were those that focused on Victoria and Albert. Their game of chess was filled with tension and absorbing to watch. Although the movie was clearly about Victoria's younger years I think that it should have focused more on her life with Albert They had nine children together and lived happily together up until Albert's death. The fact that she lived for almost forty years without her sole mate is heartbreaking and this would have given some good strong emotional scenes but this opportunity was missed.

The music was actually very imposing and the coronation music actually sounded like the start of the Champions League coverage which was also very distracting It was a very enjoyable movie but it just lacked that defining moment where Victoria transformed from this sheltered teenager into a strong willed women who reined supreme. It gets a 7/10.

Watchmen (2009)

Watch it

[10/10 · 7 March 2009]

After worries of legal battles and murmurings of delayed release dates Watchmen finally arrived on the 6th March but I will confess that up until one year I ago I had never heard of the Watchmen. It wasn't until I discovered that Jeffrey Dean Morgan was cast as The Comedian it caught my attention and forced me to read the graphic novel.

I had never read a graphic novel before the Watchmen and thought I would struggle through it but I read it in a matter of days. I couldn't put it down. The initial excitement for JDM turned into genuine excitement for the movie itself and I was not disappointed.

I absolutely loved everything about it. The characters were exactly how I imagined them to be. Jackie Earle Haley was superb as Rorschach, my favourite character in the novel. His story was the one I enjoyed reading about most and it transferred so well onto the big screen. If it had of been a Rorschach movie I would have been happy. The prison scene and Rorschach's back-story were my favourite parts of the book and also the best parts of the film One teeny tiny grumble (I feel that I should had at least one complaint) is that the first time I heard his narration I thought it was Christian Bale's Batman talking. The gravely voice sounded so similar but within one scene that was quickly forgotten about.

The other characters were also very well played. Night Owl(2) (Patrick Wilson) and The Silk Spectre(2) (Malin Akerman) played well together on the big screen. I wasn't a big fan of Laurie's when reading the novel but I warmed to her in the movie version although the same cannot be said for Dr Manhattan. I totally understand the point of his character, I can see how he began to lose touch with humanity and I appreciate the irony of the only "super" hero not wanting to get involved but there is something about the character that I just don't like. I really detested the conversation he and Laurie had on Mars in the novel and I disliked it just as much in the movie. The fact that he was constantly telling her "you will go to Dan" or "you will cry at the end of this conversation" really just angered me. He is just one of those characters that you come across at times that you just cannot warm to.

There has been criticism of Matthew Goode being cast as Ozymandias, but once I just accepted that he wasn't that great at an American accent he was fine. As a Supernatural fan, of course seeing JDM play The Comedian was a major part of going to see the movie. He was awesome. The Comedian is has essentially all the ingredients for a super villain but by the end of the movie you cant help but like him. The rape and the Vietnam scenes were uncomfortable to read about and just as uncomfortable to watch. You know you have got a major bad-ass on screen when someone can fire a few rounds from a shotgun and not blink - JDM did just that in the riot scene on the streets of New York and I was very impressed.

The action was also very good. Perhaps there wasn't as much action as some people were expecting but when it arrived it came with a bang - and it was very graphic in parts, especially one scene with a chainsaw that even Leatherface would have flinched at.

The ending differed slightly from the book but I thought the movie ending was actually better and easier to understand but other than that it was faithful to the original text. Although it was left completely out of the movie Tales of the Black Freighter has been filmed and will be on the DVD and I am satisfied with that as it was almost as engaging as the main plot.

I would give the movie 10/10. I had been waiting for the movie for months and when it arrived it did not disappoint on any level - even the soundtrack was awesome. I would recommend it to anyone but I would also suggest that you read the novel too.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Curiously engaging

[8/10 · 1 March 2009]

I will confess that when I first watched the trailer I didn't get it. I didn't really understand what the movie was about. It wasn't until the third or forth time that I viewed the trailer something clicked and made this one movie I had to see.

This was very much a movie about story over performance. I am not a huge Brad Pitt fan, I don't find him particularly talented or, on a more shallow basis attractive, but once you got used to his wavering accent you could become totally absorbed in Benjamin's story.

The transformation of Benjamin ranging from his elderly form right down to his younger appearance was amazing to watch. The special effects were seamless. It was hard to point out the stage in the movie where the real Brad Pitt appeared.

The supporting cast were fine, the most light-hearted moments came from Taraji P Henson as Benjamin's adopted mother Queenie and Jared Harris as Caption Mike although there is the argument that both roles were playing caricatures and as ever , Cate Blanchett played her part with the usual talent and grace that we have come to expect.

Benjamin Button is the nicest and most polite character to have appeared on the big screen since Forest Gump and at times he did come across like Forest with his naive simplicity. Cate Blanchett had the harder job of getting the audiences sympathy as there were times when Daisy was just down right horrid to poor (simple) Benjamin but come the end of her story she had won me around.

There were moments were I felt tears welling up and these were mostly the hospital scenes, that at times, interrupted the story telling, as the virtually unrecognisable Cate Blanchett was almost to accurate in her portrayal of a cancer patient.

I would give the movie an 8/10. It was a movie that you could totally lose yourself in - you do not feel the long running time.

I felt it had to lose a point for the Hurricane Katrina references at the end. It was a nice idea that Benjamin would return for Daisy but if we buy that ending then we really must blame Benjamin for creating one of the worst hurricanes in recent times. The ending could have worked but tying it into a recent real life event just didn't. It was clumsily done.

I loses as other point as I am Irish and Captain Mike annoyed me as I don't actually know of any Irish Men who speak in that accent.

Overall it is a love story about two people meeting at different stages of their lives and trying to hold on to the time they have together . -aww

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Excellent movie - my final answer

[10/10 · 18 January 2009]

If someone told me in January 2008 that a film about some street kid winning Who Wants to be a Millionaire, based on the novel Q&A, would be a front runner for all the major awards I would have laughed in their face, but here we are in January 2009 and that is exactly what has happened.

With Danny Boyle directing, we follow the story of Jamal, a teenager from the streets of Mumbai who has just won the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. With the authorities not able to comprehend how Jamal could win the show and not scholars and doctors he is arrested and told to explain how he did it. The answer is simple - he just knows the answers.

We are then treated to a series of flashbacks starting from his early youth and working their way up to the present day, with each flashback intertwining and showing us how he came to know about the answer to the questions.

It is a beautifully shot film (right up there with Sunshine), with all the vibrant colours of India contrasting starkly with the brutal life of children trying to survive the streets.

Danny Boyle has always been skilled when it comes to soundtracks - who can forget the iconic "perfect day" scene in Trainspotting and here it is no different as Slumdog Millionaire is accompanied by a loud, banging, Bhangra soundtrack which fits in so well, especially tracks such as Paper Plane, Millionaire and O…Saya (I have downloaded the soundtrack already!) The three main characters, Jamal, his brother Saleem and love Latika are all played by three separate actors, and you cannot fault any of them, especially the child actors who are just so absorbing to watch.

It is just a fantastic movie that more than lives up to its hype - it will be impossible not to leave the movie not feeling uplifted. 10/10 in every way and yes that is my final answer (no apologies for the pun).

It is also worth staying through the end credits were we are treated to an all singing all dancing Bollywood ending performed by the cast.

Seven Pounds (2008)

Seven Pounds = Eight Stars

[7/10 · 18 January 2009]

Seven Pounds stars Will Smith as Ben Thomas, an IRS collection agent who has an ulterior motive for meeting those who have gotten behind on their tax payments. Thomas caused the deaths of seven people whilst driving talking on his phone and the movie follows his attempt to try and atone for his, quite frankly, unforgivable crime.

The story line is as subtle as a brick through a green house window. What you see is exactly what is happening - even the ending of Titanic was more surprising when compared to Seven Pounds. There is absolutely no twist whatsoever, there is never any confusion or doubt as to what is happening.

Normally I only like Will Smith when is in full Bad Boys mode. The guy is at his best when sporting a gun, driving a Ford GT and saying "Aw Hell Nah" as whenever he tries to act serious it only comes across as a pathetic attempt at trying to gain an Oscar which he is so obviously is desperate for. This is probably the main reason why I wasn't looking forward to the movie, although here he is very understated. There are flashes of comedy but they are subtle, in fact it was the most understated Will Smith performance I have ever seen and for that reason alone he was fantastic and ironically should be nominated for a major award.

The supporting cast were all grand too - Rosario Dawson looked pretty much at deaths door the whole film and Woody Harrelson and Barry Pepper were fine as where all the other bit players.

Overall it is a weepy - but it isn't throwing all the usual clichés and sentimental violins to give you no other choice but to cry. There were a few times that even my hardened heart nearly broke. You will be hard pressed not to find one of the situations that does not relate to your own life which makes it seem all the more real.

I would give it 8/10. The Will Smith show moves onto drama without all the desperation of The Pursuit of Happiness and comes of all the better for it.

Defiance (I) (2008)

Defying the odds?

[7/10 · 10 January 2009]

The first time I saw the trailer for this movie I was sold.

The story takes place during WW2 in which three Polish brothers Tuvia Bielski (Daniel Craig), Zus (Leiv Schreiber) and Asael (Jamie Bell) escape the Nazi invasion of Poland by escaping to the vast forest of Belarus, along with various other escapees they meet along the way.

The opening scenes of the movie were very uncomfortable to watch - they were in black and white and looked as if it were original footage from the 40's. I am to lazy to research whether or not it was, but they were effective as seeing prisoners getting shot at close range by the Nazi soldiers was very unsettling.

After this we jump straight into the movie with Zus heading home with Asael only to find their parents killed and they escape to the forest with another younger brother and meet up with Tuvia. Here is where they decide to hide.

Zus and Tuvia disagree about the growing number of refugees joining their group, which is growing at a rapid pace and eventually Zus leaves the Bielski group and joins the Russian Army who are stationed nearby.

The three main characters are all very well cast. Jamie Bell is fine as the younger brother caught between his two older brothers while Craig and Schreiber play well against each other. Schreiber is actually the best actor in the whole movie - you actually would not be surprised if his character defeated the entire Nazi party on his own. This bodes extremely well for Wolverine which is released in May 2009!!

The supporting cast unfortunately are not worth mentioning at all. They are all predicable bit players that lack complete originality. The old intellectual and the young intellectual who bicker constantly until a respectable friendship grows, the pretty girl, the feisty girl, the jerk, the pregnant one, the one who risks his life to save the main character etc, etc, etc.

The Russian army made a few appearances and were the usual crazy, furry hat wearing, vodka drinking Russians that are usually portrayed in film. The most annoying thing about the Russian army is that they all spoke in Russian, a sure sign that a movie has a misguided view of its own brilliance, while the rest of the cast spoke in an Eastern European accents.

The movie did play as very serious and rightly so but there was some brotherly bonding moments which added a few minutes of light hearted relief to proceedings.

One scene that did not play well at all was Tuvia giving his "going into battle outnumbered but we shall be victorious" speech on a pure white horse to a group of terrified weaponless villagers. The scene is very overused and here is was very out of place and ridiculously cheesy.

The action when it appeared was quite brutal but it did not overshadow the story of the people living in Bielskis camp which was the main focus of the movie. The community struggling through the winter and their increasing desperation for food were uncomfortable to watch.

I would give it an 7/10. It just lacked that extra special something that puts it up there with the great war movies. A good effort though in telling the untold story of a family that saved more Jewish refugees during WW2 that Schindler.

Australia (2008)

A modern Epic? Nearly

[8/10 · 29 December 2008]

Australia follows Lady Sarah Ashley (Nicole Kidman) who travels to Australia suspecting her husband of having an affair but once she arrives she finds her husband murdered and a rival company stealing her cattle. Ashley, with the help of Drover (Hugh Jackman) and various employees must round up the cattle and take them to Darwin in an attempt to win a contract to supply the army with beef - the movie is set just as the US and Japan go to war.

Please be warned though that the successful cattle drive to Darwin - which lasted about ninety minutes - is not the end of the movie. My poor bladder was ready to burst only to find out that the "end " of the movie was not the actual finishing point as there is at least another eighty minutes to go.

The second half, which is essentially a different movie altogether, sees the Japanese attack Darwin and the rescue of the children on Mission Island. It is probably best you don't drink any liquids for at least three days before you see this movie.

Australia was beautifully shot - all the locations looked superb. Everyone knows that Baz Luhrmann was hoping to create an epic on the scale of Gone With The Wind and as good as Australia is, it was never ever going to scale the heights of Gone With The Wind - such a ground breaking movie made in 1939 achieved so much more than Australia could ever dream of. As good as Kidman is her character Lady Ashley was more of the usual reformed British snob rather than a feisty unapologetic Scarlett O'Hara.

The roles were all perfectly cast too - Nicole Kidman (the only Australian in the movie who does not play an Australian) does play a great Brit and once you got used to and accepted that Hugh Jackman is actually an Australian and that is his real accent you totally became absorbed in their story. The supporting cast of Nullah (Brandon Walters), Kipling Flynn (Jack Thompson) and Witch Doctor King George (David Gulpili) all were great in their roles.

The plot itself was fine, although the main storyline of the movie ended in the first half. It was interesting though the learn about the "Stolen Generations" and the racial prejudices against the aborigines.

The villains were a disappointment though - Carney appeared to accept the fact that he was beaten by Lady Ashley and if he wasn't murdered the movie could have ended at the midway point quite nicely - even Fletcher didn't cause to much of a threat and was overshadowed by the Japanese bombers who became the final villain by the end of the movie.

There were some light-hearted comedy moments but these mostly came at the beginning of the movie and at Lady Ashleys expense. The usual British aristocrat trying to slum it with the yokels routine, although towards the end of movie the tone became perhaps a bit to serious and the humorous moments were gone completely.

There was also one scene right at the beginning of the movie where Hugh Jackman showers in slow motion with his top off. It came across as a cheesy shampoo advert. That isn't a complaint though merely an observation.

At a staggering 165 minutes Australia is a long film that you will either love or hate. A few years ago it may have been in the running for best picture but this year it will be lucky to be nominated in any of the main categories.

The movie is so long and split clearly into two halves - the cattle run and the bombing. The movie could have ended after the first half neatly but instead chooses to keep trundling on.

Although the movie was long the only part of it that began to show distaste for the length was my bladder.

I enjoyed it though and was totally absorbed through the whole movie but I can see why other people do not like it at all. I would give it 8/10.

Inkheart (2008)

Story with plenty of (ink)heart

[8/10 · 21 December 2008]

Inkheart follows the story of Mo (Brendan Fraser) who was born with a gift (or a curse) of bringing to life whatever he reads out aloud from stories, the price of this being whenever something comes out of a book something in turn must go in and unfortunately Mo's wife Resa gets sucked into the book Inkheart.

The story picks up nine years later with Mo and his daughter Maggie travelling around Europe looking for a copy of Inkheart to bring Resa back . They are constantly followed by Dustfinger played by Paul Bettany, who is easily the best thing in the whole movie, who was brought out of the book by Mo and is desperate to go home. Dustfinger sways between being a threat at the start to one of the good guys who is so desperate to go home he will do anything. There is also a nice Jennifer Connelly cameo as Gwen, the girl he wants to return home to.

This is made all the more complicated by Capricorn and his band of minions who want to use Mo to bring out The Shadow.

I haven't read the original novel so I cannot comment on how true it was to the source material but I liked what I saw. The idea was fantastic - we had a Minotaur from Narnia, the ticking crocodile from Peter Pan and lots of Wizard of Oz reference thrown in. The only problem was there wasn't enough - as a reader there were so many other characters, stories and ideas that could have featured - although the main story was that of Inkheart it just would have been great to see more cameos from other well known stories thrown in.

I would give the movie 8/10. I loved it, it probably isn't everyone's cup of tea but if you like adventure movies such as Journey to the Centre of the Earth and even The Mummy series were everyone is having fun and not taking themselves to seriously then you will love this.

I do have a feeling though that when I finally get around to reading Inkheart I will probably find the book so much better.

Is there a sequel? Will there be a sequel? I hope so.

Twilight (I) (2008)

Twilight - has lost its shimmer

[6/10 · 20 December 2008]

2008 marked, what feels like the first Christmas in ages without a Harry Potter movie, and this year we were treated to the launch of another novelised franchise -Twilight.

Twilight focuses on the romantic relationship between a seventeen year old girl Bella and her complicated boyfriend Edward Cullen - the complication being that Edward is in fact a vampire, albeit a "vegetarian" vampire.

A lot of the dialogue was lifted straight from Meyers novel and did not make a successful translation from page to screen and a lot of the intimate scenes between Bella and Edward were just clunky and awkward. The scene in the science lab were both characters meet each other for the first time looked clichéd and amateurish. There was just to much melodrama for me - even the piano score was a bit to much.

The special effects look cheap and nasty. They would have just been better not showing Edward running through the trees or the director should have watched some wushu movies just to at least get the impression of running through the trees correct and don't get me started on Edwards twinkling skin.

The most entertaining part of the whole movie was the actual Cullen Family, who, as they did in the book, have a much greater presence than the two main characters, and unfortunately, as in the book, their screen time is very limited.

Overall the movie was OK - I liked the book much better, although, after the second book in the series I gave up because I was bored…… I would give Twilight 6/10. If you haven't read the book or heard of Edward Cullen before you go then avoid at all costs as the awkward dialogue, terrible effects and teen romance will make you cringe with embarrassment. Twilight is best watched and appreciated by those who already love it.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

The Earth Stood Still

[7/10 · 14 December 2008]

I went to see The Day The Earth Stood Still and I expecting nothing less than a 2008 version of Independence Day with Keanu Reeves instead of Will Smith. It wasn't. Not even in the slightest.

The movie starts of with Keanu Reeves hiking up some snow covered mountain in India for reasons to complex for the simple movie watcher to understand i.e. for no apparent reason and not explained to the audience.

We then cut to the wonderful Jennifer Connelly saying something to scientific for the simple movie watcher to understand i.e. to show the audience that she is intelligent.

The movie speeds on at reasonable pace as a meteor is heading straight for earth, well when I say earth, I actually mean New York, which as we all know represents everything and everyone on earth.

Jennifer Connelly, along with the US army and a few scientists who are all wearing glasses so that the simple movie watcher understands that these people are as intelligent as Jennifer, all head to Central Park where this big alien marble plants itself.

Kathy Bates, sporting beehive that Marge Simpson would covet, was the Head of Defence. I didn't really pay much attention to her in any way, shape or form as I was to busy trying to remember where I knew her from - Titanic and Misery.

Now New York has had its fair share of movie related disasters in recent times, whether it be tidal waves, asteroids, infectious zombie diseases, asteroids again (Deep Impact and Armageddon are apparently two different movies) but New Yorkers do not understand the concept of running - when a disaster happens I like to think that I will be running in the opposite direction shrieking like a crazy fool rather than standing watching the events unfold that will lead to my untimely death.

Anyhow, instead of the earth being destroyed something even more bizarre happens when Keanu Reeves and what can only be described as an early concept drawing of a Sentinel abandoned from the X-Men series step out of the big alien marble.

The US army in full on "attack now ask questions and sheepishly apologise later" mode shoot poor Keanu and off they all head (Jennifer Connelly included) to Area51 where Keanu easily escapes from and heads to his nearest police station (W.T.F!) and calls Jennifer Connelly who, along with her step-son collects him.

Turns out that earth is important to other alien races as it can sustain intelligent life, the most intelligent of us all being John Cleese. John discovers that humans are on the brink of destroying the planet and because they are only on the brink of their own man made self destruction they can be brought back from the brink if Keanu just gets back into his marble and leaves them alone.

Which he does. Not straight away of course.

It is only after a speech from Jaden Smith, who will keep the Smith acting dynasty lasting longer then the Douglas's, Sheens and hell even the Baldwin's, that breaks the ever stiff and straight (A.K.A CANNOT ACT TO SAVE HIS LIFE) Keanu into realising that humans are in fact OK and can change their ways.

So he gets into his marble and leaves and the movie ends. Seriously.

I was deceived by the trailer, I thought I was going to see an action movie with Keanu in full on "Gun Totting American Don't Worry We Will Save Only America" mode. It wasn't. It was more of a drama with only a few hints of action, which ultimately came to nothing - then the movie ended.

And you know - I actually quite liked it 7/10.

Four Christmases (2008)

Four Chrismases without a hint of Christmas

[5/10 · 29 November 2008]

After last years foray into Christmas movies with the comedy without the comedy Fred Claus, Vince Vaughn is back this year again with another festive attempt - Four Christmases with Reese Witherspoon.

The plot involves a couple Brad (Vaughn) and Kate (Witherspoon) as they struggle to spend Christmas Day with all for of their divorcée parents.

No matter the logistical problems of visiting four equally quirky parents the most unbelievable part of the whole movie was believing that the cuddly (fat if you are not a fan!) Vaughn could pull a girl like Reese Witherspoon but oddly enough it did work and there was some chemistry there despite set grumblings that the two did not get on very well.

As with all comedies chemistry is important but so is the comedy. Vince Vaughn is a known to stray from the script and when this works it is hilarious but when it doesn't it truly fails. His one memorable scene and in fact the only laugh out loud scene in the whole movie is the nativity scene.

I would give the movie 5/10. It was released well in time before the main Christmas Films in order not to completely bomb at the Box Office.

The movie was good but I would wait a year and rent it next Christmas. It is the Christmas comedy which forgot all about the Christmas...and the comedy.

Quarantine (2008)

Quaratine all remakes

[6/10 · 29 November 2008]

Quarantine is a remake of a 2007 Spanish film called REC.

Usual story of humans zombies infecting one another with the "disease" and standard chaos ensues. The only difference here is that instead of a world wide pandemic the action takes place inside a small block of apartments.

This is handy as it builds up the claustrophobic tension.

PLOT: TV crew follow a group of firemen for the night filming their activities and it all goes swimmingly until they are called to a disturbance in the most run down block of apartments in history which are inhabited by the usual horror movie character clichés Once all the clichés are rounded up in the main entrance we learn that there is a nuclear threat from some guys in space suits and they all need to give a blood sample (WTF nuclear blood!!) to prove that they are clean.

A group of arrogant Americans are unable to stand still for long enough to allow this simple procedure to take place and amongst the chaos that they mostly created for themselves the one infected old woman manages to start the contagious "pass the infection on" game.

The Spanish version managed to do this with a smaller cast, noticeably smaller budget, little blood splattering violence that American Horror films have come to know and over use and with this they created a film that was scary as hell, with a real sense of panic amongst the entire cast.

The American version screwed up the two most successful scares in the Spanish version in an almost scene for scene remake.

The Americans had a larger cast but only to serve the purpose of killing them off in the most violent ways possible. The key fact that the American version missed out on is violence does not make for a scary film. It is the build-up of tension and suspense which make the scares more enhanced when they do come :O Overall I would give: REC 9/10 as it is one hell of a film Quarantine 6/10 as it was a pointless remake of a Spanish film for the sole reason that it would make more money if it were in English to an English Speaking audience. The fact that the last scene of Quarantine ended with a bra and cleavage shot shows that Americas do not actually have a clue when it comes to making good horror movies any longer which is a shame

Body of Lies (2008)

Movies don't lie.

[9/10 · 29 November 2008]

"Scott. Crowe. DiCaprio" - The tag line said it all and that is all you need to know about a movie to know that it is going to be good especially when you discover that the "Scott" in question is Ridley and not The plot is the standard CIA V Iraqi terrorist. Nothing new or original about that but the quality involved is what makes this movie. Crowe and DiCaprio are two of the best actors in Hollywood so they raise the standard of the movie compared with other recent terrorist related movies such as The Kingdom.

The Last half hour is the movie is surprisingly tense which is in itself a brilliant climax to a fast movie film.

The worst moment for me was using the love interest cliché as the McGuffin to get us into the last half hour - but that is only nit picking!! 9/10 - such a good movie. Sit back relax and enjoy.

Max Payne (2008)

Payne to watch?

[7/10 · 15 November 2008]

Most movies based on computer games tend to suck.

Was Max Payne any different? I don't know and frankly I don't care because it stared the wonderful Mark Wahlberg.

Everyone has a favourite actor and will watch and defend anything that they choose to star in and in his case it would be The Happening which is the most entertainingly, hilariously, bad movie made ever made.

In Max Payne, Mark, playing a cop (what else can he play), uses his signature move, his perma-frown to show how sad he is after the untimely murder of his wife three years ago.

This is in direct contrast to the bewildered perma-frown he debuted in The Three Kings and his angry perma-frown which earned him (a surprise!) Oscar nomination in The Departed. Clearly you cannot say that Mark Walhberg doesn't have acting range - either way it doesn't matter as he looks cool holding a shotgun.

So off Mark goes to catch his wife's killer (he sat around in the police station boiler room filing up until this point) and along the way everyone he meets ends up murdered by some angry bald dude wielding a big ass sword, making his buddies in the precinct, who, in true Hollywood fashion, are all one doughnut short of a cliché! From the trailer it looked as though there would be a hint of Constantine about the film which would have been great but it was not to be - it was all about drugs. I don't know why that surprised me. Its always drugs. Always. Without exception.

One thing about the film that really annoyed me was all the CGI snow which didn't actually fall, it just swirled around for a few moments and then it would start raining. Every time we were outside it was raining - hell inside during the worst cinematic gun fight in history someone turned on the water sprinklers. Hollywood clearly doesn't have to deal with water charges.

Speaking of the terrible gun fight, Storm Troopers have more accuracy than security guards with automatic weapons. Mark Walhberg vs. twenty heavily armed guards. I suppose it shouldn't have been a shock to the system over who won that fight.

Anyway, Max Payne catches the bad guys, doesn't get the girl as she cleared off before the final battle and was forgotten about by Max, the director and the audience and he does this without one witty quip!! Is it wrong were I am beginning to pine for the good old days were cops drove cool cars, took part in violent car chases and every time they cocked their gun or killed someone they automatically said something witty…..Oh lord I have just described Bad Boys If you love Mark Walhberg you will enjoy Max Payne.

If not the rain, fake snow, moping around, slow motion guns fights, lack of smiles and sunshine and constant aerial shots of New York will surely tick you off.