Jo-Cino Reviews

Road House (2024)

YES!! and a Whole Lot of Fun!!

[7/10 · 23 March 2024]

The first thing you need to do is know that THIS IS NOT A REMAKE of the original Road House. I don't care that it shares the same title and that the main characters name is "dalton", this should have been its own movie and NEVER tried to link itself to the Road House of the 90's. You're just asking for trouble trying to tell people you're remaking a classic especially when it's NOT a remake!

Sadly, I seem to be in the minority on this but i enjoyed this movie very much. Jake was surprisingly believable, conor was a great villain and i looked forward to his every scene. The pace was nice and steady especially for a two hour movie, the story was flawed and a little soft but it made sense and didn't waste a lot of time. The movie knows and realizes you are there for jake and conor and let's everything else kind of get out of the way.

The fight scenes were definitely interesting and different. Looked like they had a goPro strapped to their faces or fists so it's another facet i enjoyed.

I don't think anybody who presses play on this movie is expecting the depth of something like forrest gump sooo ENJOY IT! It's a lot of fun.

Jerry Before Seinfeld (2017 TV Special)

WOW, Is This BAD!!

[2/10 · 12 January 2024]

Listen, i know he had a big part to play in the show Seinfeld, which isn't one of my favorites by far, but let's be clear - jerry seinfeld is just NOT a good comedian. He's actually really bad at being a stand up comic. Always was. The material in this one could be the worst of his career and that's honestly saying a lot.

The crowd seems to be laughing just because they are starstruck at seeing jerry seinfeld in such a small, cozy venue, and i know i can't prove it, but i just KNOW they all walked out of that place that night and turned to their significant other and was like, "yeah, i was pretty disappointed. I thought he'd be funnier"

The Changeling (2023– )

What happened? Why?!!

[4/10 · 24 November 2023]

Was really looking forward to seeing this and honestly, for the first few episodes, it was well worth the wait. The acting was great, the dialogue was poetic and the the intrigue had a good hold of me. I really enjoyed everything they were giving me.

BUT... those last two episodes happened and this series just fell off a cliff, and i mean a very HIGH cliff.

What happened? Why?

"most" series try to answer the questions throughout the show as each episode goes on, but this one decided to leave you with more questions than answers.

I don't like giving this series a four just because the acting alone was so good, but these writers and directors that want to try and reinvent the wheel of storytelling need to get the message. I'm so tired of investing my time and emotion into today's movies and series only to be completely disappointed by the end.

Brockmire (2017–2020)

It's True - Season 4 Cost This a Rating

[7/10 · 23 September 2023]

I really don't want to focus too much on how bad season four is because seasons one through three were a lot of fun. The humor is fast and dry and often embedded in poetic dialogue as brockmire has a way to compare anything to everything so perfectly making the first three seasons a worthy second watch just to discover jokes you may have missed the first time through... at first, it's easy to not like the guy and wonder WHY in the world was he successful in the first place, but with the passing of each episode you begin to understand ole jim more and more and even find yourself wishing you actually shared some of those qualities, such as his willingness to openly discuss any of his embarrassing moments.

The supporting cast was actually just as good and funny and humble and balanced with some great spotlight episodes.

You can only laugh at the reviewers complaining about the show being "woke" as they are the first ones to call everybody "snowflakes" for disagreeing with their points of view... i can only imagine their issues are that the show openly discusses homosexuality, takes aim at racists and doesn't exactly embrace the idea of religion... but such is life for half of America.

I watched the first season and absolutely loved the show. I ran to IMDB and gave it a solid 8 star rating.

I very much enjoyed the second season as well as many of the same cast from season one returned Season three was good, just not anywhere as good as the first two. It was a bit of a changing of the guard with the original supporting cast giving way to newer ones characters. Still likeable but it started to lose the small town charm by the end and Season four?.. well, season four is like a pitcher throwing a no-hitter for eight full innings only to give up thirteen runs on fifteen hits in the ninth inning, barely holding on for a 14-13 win.... ya can't let that one inning ruin the first eight innings of dominance, but sadly, you can't think back to that game without reliving how horrible that ninth inning was either.

So i lowered my rating from an eight to a seven which is fitting as it is very brockmire. It could have been great..but...it found a way to ruin itself.

The Passenger (III) (2023)

that never happened

[4/10 · 11 August 2023]

I kept watching because i just wanted it to all make sense at the end... but that never happened.

The acting was pretty tight. I was thankful for that and is the main reason this is as high a score as i gave it.

The intrigue was there. Why, why, why is what kept you there.

The pacing was fine. It was a slow burn hoping for a big ending... but that never happened.

Dialogue was mid... Anecdotes not even... nothing as deep as they tried making you believe.

And that end just fell totally flat.

The biggest question of the movie was, "WHY?" you stay glued hoping to get the answer... but that just never happens!

It had potential. It just needed more time in the writers room but obviously that never happened either.

This is a pass.

Alice, Darling (2022)

Everybody acting UNNECESSARILY weird for ninety minutes. VERY

[3/10 · 4 February 2023]

First off, it took FOR. EV. ER to get to the point of the movie... secondly, are we really sure this movie just isn't about some girl who is completely out of her mind who created her own angst?? Unless i missed something, they did a really poor job of making the boyfriend seem verbally or even emotionally abusive... matter of fact, most of the the interactions they show of the couple actually make the guy out to be fairly nice, mild mannered, sometimes affectionate and fairly thoughtful.

But instead of 'show and tell' the movie tries to outline how abusive he has been to the girlfriend in flashbacks and through her recanting stories to her friends, but even then, he doesn't seem to have really done anything bad enough to merit this woman's anxiety.

In one scene she tries to explain how bad her relationship is because, as she says, "sometimes i think he can read my mind and if he can do that then there is nowhere left that i can be alone" meanwhile, her friends are looking at her while speaking these words like she just told them he beat her with a bat.

There's another scene where she's telling her friends how much the boyfriend doesn't like potato chips as she imitates the boyfriend... "there's enough saturated fats to kill a horse. You'll regret those when you get on the scale in the morning".

Again, the friends are sitting beside her making faces to each other like, "oh my god - this MONSTER said that to you??!!" "" "i wish you would have told us it was this bad" they tell her (seriously) and finally, they layered a backdrop of a missing girl on this little getaway for some sort of subplot that I can only think they were trying to make the viewer fear the boyfriend (?) all the while they never really give you a reason to fear the boyfriend that much at all.

This is a hard pass for me. Everybody is unnecessarily weirded out for no reason.

Sissy (I) (2022)

How is this movie ranked so high?

[3/10 · 14 October 2022]

How is this movie ranked so high? I hope whoever made this trailer got paid more than anybody because that's about as good as this movie ever gets.

The lead, aisha dee wasn't really the problem. She was fine but you could see she has some chops and likely could have been better but she was obviously held back by the director kane senes. Let's hope kane makes this his last horror movie because he's pretty bad at it. That bathroom scene alone was one of the dumbest kills i have ever seen.

Worth the watch? Eh... judging by these other reviews, if you are utterly desperate and brand spanking new to 'horror' movies maybe you'll see things differently but if you have seen at least one horror movie in your life you can't possibly give this movie more than a four or a five.

I have this a three because i have seen more than one horror movie in my life.

Andrew Schulz: Infamous (2022 TV Special)

Love me some Schulzie!!!

[9/10 · 29 September 2022]

As a long time fan i'm real proud to see Andrew Shultz is at the top of his game in Infamous and it couldn't have come at a better time. His stories have so many brilliant little nuggets wrapped inside each and every one of them it's hard not to appreciate the layers of comedy gold on the way in and on the way out of each of his segments. Some are really quite masterful.

Truth be told, he's pretty raw and doesn't hold back or discriminate against any one type of race or sex - he blasts them all (haha). His fans are all ready for whatever stereotypical joke he's about to tell and they all love him for that... in a world of cancel culture it's this balancing act - and the lack of fear that keeps him from being cancelled, i think anyway.

The negative reviews you will read here are likely due to the offensive jokes that may not sit well with those with much thinner skin but this is what's made andrew shultz and he makes sure to go hard in this one hour stand up.

His mastercraft is his ability to do crowd work at his smaller gigs so i was happy to see him stay true to that here even with a much bigger crowd. Some rows members were obvious plants setting up his next bit but he's always so well prepared for everybody that it's pretty seamless.

If you like good, smart, raw comedy that has not a drop of fear in it and is willing to touch on virtually every taboo subject from politics to abortion to rape...etc.. then you will absolutely love spending an hour laughing at this... if you're very thin skinned and one of those people who think everything should be protested, you're probably better off staying away.

Great job shultzie!!

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

The Best Way to Describe This Movie in One Sentence

[3/10 · 13 July 2022]

Thor 4: God of Thunder is nothing more than a really bad, two hour Saturday Night Live skit minus the good jokes. (my apologies to christian bale who did all he could to save this movie from embarrassing itself)

Win a Trip to Browntown! (2022)

chasing the American Dream!!

[5/10 · 3 April 2022]

Ok, i see a lot of really harsh reviews for this movie and i can understand what some are saying - BUT - this is more than just a movie. This movie is the american dream and i have nothing but respect for the efforts put forward... no, not because of the silly bet he makes...

In real life, this guy has a dream. He wants to make that dream a reality. So with a very low budget, he writes, directs and stars in his own movie (how awesome is that?!)... he's TRYING to manifest his own wishes. How can you not love that?? Think of this movie as a four track demo that he wants to get into the hands of a big studio exec

Now, make no mistakes, the acting is really not good (i'm trying to be kind)... the premise is a little silly, a little old fashioned i guess (is his goal THAT big of a deal these days), the writing itself is not all that great either, although, would probably seem much better with a better cast delivering these lines, but there are actually SOME parts that are legitimately funny (ie: the car scene when the son falls and the woman won't/can't get out to help him because...) the camera work and overall direction - eh, but as a body of work, and as a man trying to make his own way and follow his dreams, how can you not root for this guy?? Yes, we're basically watching a film students work.

The movie itself is not good, but i can really appreciate the fight! Does no good to make the others feel bad about it all.

Ricky Velez: Here's Everything (2021 TV Special)

The Kid Is Good!

[7/10 · 21 December 2021]

He just reminds me of hanging out with your friends telling stories, cracking jokes... he's a pretty good storyteller with some solid wit. I'm rooting for him now! Nicely done kid!

Twas the Night (2021)

Only reason it's not a 1 is because it's Christmas!

[2/10 · 11 December 2021]

I honestly feel bad leaving such a bad review for this just because the actors ARE human... but truth be told, this is a really, REALLY bad movie. The acting was horrible, the pace was bad, the direction obviously worse, the camerawork was bad, the script was bad, even how the dude dies was just... my goodness.... just don't do it - unless you deserve this kind of coal this holiday season!

The Boonies (2021)

Not One Single Thing About This Movie Was Just Bad - It Was AWFUL

[1/10 · 9 May 2021]

I didn't expect a whole lot going in to this movie, but my god was this bad! Not one person could act (not a ONE), the script was awful, the sound/mixing was extra awful, the pace was brutal, the story was completely pointless, the killers acted like monkeys (literally!)...wow, just. So. Bad!!

Arguably the worst movie i have seen in the last twenty years... yes, it's that bad!!

Stay far away from this one!

Things Heard & Seen (2021)

What a waste!!!

[4/10 · 2 May 2021]

Movie just ended... i'm SO annoyed at how.

What a waste of what was actually a decent movie.

Without giving any spoilers, they completely quit on the ending. It was 100% lazy and worthless... what a waste!! What a shame. The acting was solid, amanda did a fine job.... production was a little soft but nothing cringeworthy. You really didn't know where the movie was going and that was a good thing... but my god, i'm so tired of the modern movie having a concept without a good ending.

Lemonheads (2020)

Not going to blow your mind, but worth the watch for a few performances.

[6/10 · 22 November 2020]

Very predictable movie about drug addicts who NEED more 'h' (heroin) and the depths of the rabbit hole they climbed in. the script itself was ok, nothing special even though they thought they were being obscure at times (they weren't) the concept was nothing new either. the execution was fair. nothing to ruin the movie. i was, however, very pleased with a few of the performances. george jonson as the central character comfortably carried the lead and darren keefe reiher as the super high-strung irishman was great to watch for his ten minutes of screen time. the one hour and twenty six minute runtime was also perfect as any longer i might've started looking for the exit soon. the movie's silver lining: it makes you feel REAL good to not have chosen a life of drugs. Not going to blow your mind, but worth the watch.

Welcome to the Circle (2020)

ANY rating/ review higher than a 3 is paid for!

[1/10 · 28 October 2020]

I really don't want to give this movie any more of my time than i already have - it is one of the worst movies i have seen in the past ten years! 2020 does it again!! I AM ONLY HERE TO STOP YOU FROM WATCHING THIS HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE MOVIE... trust me, every aspect of this movie is horrible; acting (especially the acting!), the script, the story, the camera work... just the EVERYTHING!!! You're Welcome!!

It Chapter Two (2019)

I Fell For It Again!!!

[4/10 · 11 September 2019]

This "IT" series has somehow created a world where there are no rules, no logic and the writers can do whatever they want without supplying answers, no matter how badly you will crave them.

Nothing makes sense here; sometimes it's a dream, sometimes it's real(?) - sometimes they are dreaming yet pulling things out from the dream into reality... all without any explanation or reasoning to when it is one or the other... easily the most frustrating 'horror' series to watch if you want a solid story line.

Another frustrating thing about this movie is that IT IS what IT IS because of the clown, Pennywise, yet, he is incredibly under-used in this movie for some reason. It seems they save his most screen time for the end of the movie when the 'fit hits the shan', but he's not really even Pennywise at that point, it's just some CGI Pennywise hybrid.

The jump scares were easy to identify, especially if you are just half-way seasoned to the horror genre. The run-time was indeed long, but i don't think the complaint about run time is just that it's long - i'm fairly certain people would have no problem with run time it if the story itself was more airtight.

Trust me, i'm taking it very easy on this movie... there's so much more to shred.

** SPOILERS ** so, after all that, i haven't even touched on the end... that.. ridiculous, RIDICULOUS ending. (The running joke with mcavoy's character and how "the ending wasn't good" is very fitting for this movie and serves as foreshadowing.... typical stephen king)

As they outlined earlier in the movie, the creature of IT was cast as an ancient curse that has survived thousands of years and with that, it would take a ritual of sorts to defeat this mighty creature... but hold everything... that would only make a LITTLE bit of sense and we have already established, LOGIC is no place for a clown movie like IT... no, no, no

they literally spent ninety minutes of the film gathering things from their childhood JUST for this ritual to NOT work - BUT, fear not - as it turns out - all anyone needed to do ALL these years was some good old fashioned name calling and the IT would go away.. and not only be defeated, but be defeated very meekly and easily... "You're Just A Clown! You're Just A Clown!" they would yell and in doing so, the mighty Pennywise shrunk aaalllll the way down to the size of a baby.

seriously... they call him names for maybe...90 seconds.. and just like that, the horror is all over! this is how Pennywise dies - for good!

JUST. SO. DUMB!!!

Look, if the idea is to be entertained, then you will be entertained if nothing else because the cast itself is WAY too good to not appreciate on screen - Hader, McAvoy, Skarsgard and Chastain are terrific - but there's no surprises there and honestly, that's also what makes this movie even more disappointing - you had this amazing ensemble of talent and you gave them THIS weak story and this even worse ending.

... if you are going to watch this movie, enjoy the performances because it's all you're gonna get... it's also the only reason i rated this movie a 4 and not a 3.

Secrets in a Small Town (2019 TV Movie)

this movie had no strength.

[5/10 · 10 June 2019]

I can't say i expected a lot coming in to this movie, but with the state of hollywood these days, i'm left searching through these type of low budget/indies looking for a gem... this wasn't one of them. The acting was poor, not horrible, but not anywhere near good. the cinematography was very 'made for tv', the score was soft, the story telling had a few holes... you can see how this all adds up to low score. i would honestly give this movie s lower score, but, as a single parent who moved from big city life to small town bible belt, i figured this would hit home a little harder... the only problem was this movie had no strength.

Mile 22 (2018)

REALLY Bad & Annoying Camera Work, Soft Plot, No Character Develpoment = MEH

[5/10 · 27 August 2018]

This was tough to watch - i mean that literally. There was not one single scene throughout the entire hour and forty minute movie where the camera fixated on a subject for three seconds - seriously - and when it DID focus on a subject for TWO seconds - they made sure the camera was constantly moving... the fight scenes were even worse - shaky, jittery, close up, shaky AND close up... just a really bad, annoying job with the camera the whole movie. Wahlberg, who i generally like, was supposed to be some advanced veteran, but he wound up doing less than everybody else throughout the movie - except 'dialogue' everybody... he had not one standout moment in the movie - no special kill, no great one liners.. just a cold, angry dude. The story was 'meh'. they rambled through it really quick. No character development, not even wahlberg, who was outlined thorough paper clippings throughout the opening credits... this also meant you felt nothing when someone died... it was ok... In it's simplest form, it was "get this this guy from point a to point b without getting him killed"... been there done that. i did enjoy the tech, and the plot twist, but other than that.. i don't think i would even recommend this for netflix.

It (I) (2017)

I mean...

[5/10 · 8 September 2017]

... yes, i thought Andy Muschietti did a nice job directing this movie. ... yes, the kids were a lot of fun to watch throughout this film

... yes, Penny Wise was recreated in a way that every purist would be satisfied with.

but the story?.. oh man, more holes than Swiss cheese! Where are the Suicide Squad critics when you need 'em?

I've read a ton of these reviews here and i am just amazed at how many people just don't care that the actual story was a complete and utter mess! Does anybody even TRY to consider the basics of storytelling when watching movies anymore?? There should be more to the story than, "Avoid the clown, he's trying to get you - get him before he gets you"

For starters, they never really clarify what 'IT' is - or why - or how to kill IT... or when to expect IT... or how to avoid IT.. or how it became IT… etc. There's no rhyme or reason to IT and there will be no explanation, so I hope you're not expecting one.

IT never is explained! They never draw a line and let you know when IT is playing with their minds or when IT is real and physical - or why... or why THESE kids are being haunted. Are any other kids being haunted? (Is this even a haunting?!) Why can some see it and others can't? What does IT want?! (Geez!!)

Oddly enough, they spend more time focusing on each kids' parents, who are all abusive in some way, whether physically, sexually, or emotionally, than they do developing the Penny Wise story. Virtually every parent is ugly inside in some way and they never connect these dots. Even the town pharmacist is a lurking pedophile ("You look like Lois Lane" wink~wink) They spend all this time on the parental development and none of it factors into the ending or the rest of the story. Makes no sense WHY they would have chosen to spend the time here.

They do make a quasi attempt to show one of the kids interest by showing him researching the town's history in the town library -this leads to the kid running through the library basement trying to get away from killer clowns - but as it turns out - they're not even real!! Just a figment of his imagination apparently.

But, then there are the over-the-top, neighborhood bullies that do a little more than simply knock your books out of your hand and poke fun. These thugs are out for blood for some reason (literally). One day, after catching one of their favorite targets they decide to carve initials into his belly with a knife (yes, fourteen year old bullies). The kid somehow breaks free, a chase ensues which leads one of these bullies right into an above ground sewer. A few minutes later, the bully is shown being attacked by a group of killer clowns while in the sewer... you may assume this was just a figment of his imagination too, right?... but no - this time, it was real. Why was this one different than the other? How do we know this one was real? Well, it certainly wasn't because the bullies were talking about it, or mentioning it at all. Matter of fact, the bullies carry on each day beating on kids as if he was still right there in the group.The only way we know his interaction with the clowns was real (?) was because there is a two second clip that shows someone posting a 'Missing Child' poster with the bullies image - but it's business as usual otherwise.

**SPOILERS** The young girl is captured at the end of the movie and then looks down Penny Wise's throat at some kind of light.. this seemingly puts her in a trance and now she just floats - er - hovers in the air looking up at the sewer. No explanation!... however, when the group finally catches up to her and finds her floating, one of the kids grabs her and kisses her - magically, her spell is broken and she is normal again... no explanation!... why?

To follow up on the hovering girl... during this same final scene, everybody is in this big room where it appears that all the missing kids from the years before are floating in the air in a slow, circular motion. They are doing nothing but floating... NO explanation... just floating... now, one would assume that just like the girl in the group that had her spell broken by being kissed that these kids were not actually dead (?) and could be saved (?).... Once Penny Wise bids his farewell, the children start floating back down... but... that's all you know. Do they wake up? Are they floating down to die in peace? Do they all walk out together? NO EXPLANATION!! As far as the other elements, i thought they tried WAY too hard to copy Stranger Things, going so far as casting Finn Wolfhard. I thought this was a really bad idea. Not because of Finn (I love this kid!), but because it should have tried to separate itself from Stranger Things - not try to get closer to it.

The kills were ALL pretty soft. Nothing creative. For example, when they killed the main bully, he only fell down a well (he deserved such a bloodier fate!) Penny Wise was smacked around a little with some clubs but he left on his own terms (he wasn't actually killed!) Meh... too much, "NO EXPLANATION" for me. It was an OK movie. It was entertaining and some of the shots were nicely framed. The score was pretty nice and eerie at times. Many of the elements that you would have wanted to excel were all here – it was just the bad story line that's tough to forgive.

Annie (2014)

A Perfect Storm - Inspirational , Upbeat, Fun, Good Music, Good Message

[8/10 · 12 December 2014]

I'm in my early 40's so i'm one of the ones that actually remembers the original Annie and honestly, i can't exactly say that i was the biggest fan of the original. Maybe it's just me, but i thought it was 'ok' at best.

We first saw the trailer for this movie over the summer and at first i was thinking, "really?...Annie?"... but the more the trailer played, the more i was able to actually feel that there was a very different VIBE to this movie than the original, so yes - i was sold and wanted to see this based on the trailer.

After actually seeing the movie in its entirety with my seven year old daughter, what i came away with was a BIG smile on my face and such an upbeat and inspirational feeling that still has me gushing today. My daughter can't stop talking about this movie either.

There was definitely an upbeat kinda VIBE throughout this entire movie that never quite leaves your side and should somehow be cast as an extra it's that good. It's also gone through a much needed makeover and is suddenly very up to date and modern (which is a lot of fun to see happen) The acting, i thought, was pretty spot on - keeping in mind that these characters are supposed to have a bit of animation to them (it IS a children's musical for crying out loud).

• Jamie Foxx once again shows his flexibility and endless talent in his role as Willie Stacks. The man can do it all.

• Quvenzhané is absolutely perfect for this movie and i might actually be more grateful that little Willow Smith 'backed out' of the lead of this movie opening the door for 'Q' than any thing else cause i can't see anyone else nailing this role down as perfectly as she did.

• Cameron Diaz, i thought, was a lot of fun and i even enjoyed her singing - not going to win any awards any time soon, but the moments she had were again, spot on for what the moment called for (and that's important to understand for a movie like this).

• Rose Byrne was ... 'proper' :-).

• Bobby Cannavale reminded me very much of a modern day John Larroquette - the kind of guy that just knows how to be the perfect, lovable D-Bag... you almost feel bad for loving him the way you do - but you still do.

The music, another major highlight to this movie, was also nicely done and scores a big assist to singer/songwriter Sia who did wonders for this movie. With some new songs added (see 'Opportunity' and 'Smiles' to name a couple) and a few changes to the originals, the soundtrack is already on my daughters Christmas list. Don't discount this as this helps change the entire tone of the movie.

All in all, i thought this movie was a perfect storm. It had a lot of intangibles working seamlessly together. I gave this movie a nine because it was a lot of fun, it was very upbeat and inspirational, had good music, a good message, and a lot of cute laughs.

Normally i would highly suggest seeing this movie if you had kids, especially any little girls - but - I think even as an adult without kids, this movie can still find a way to creep into your heart and make you love it just the same.

Recommended!

Saving Santa (2013 Video)

.. maybe i'm feeling festive this holiday season ...

[5/10 · 27 November 2013]

It's movies like this that really make you appreciate Disney, Pixar and Dreamworks for the talent in their animation departments because it's when you actually watch a movie like this that makes it so apparent how easy the others make it look because 'Saving Santa' really did lack the animation skills that we have all grown accustomed to.

The story here was actually a lot of fun because it was primarily built around time travel and took all it's basics from a very familiar movie (Back To The Future) so i think the adults probably already know the 'rules' of time travel (for example, don't let your old self see the new you...etc..) .. but the plot - a global shipping company wanting to steal Santa's sled and all his secrets just so they can be the biggest shipping company in the world - just went beyond cheesy... and not exactly one that the kids would understand all that well either.

The voices really didn't offer too much excitement... the songs, which were much more than i had hoped for and were used very 'musical-esque', easily had no excitement and/or energy... and the dialogue was also very predictable and uninspiring, although there were two parts that i thought were legitimately funny.

Even with all the warts, i gave this movie a six - but mostly because it surprisingly excelled in the future scenes and the tying together of the storyline between past moments and present moments (if you are an Arrested Development fan, you may really appreciate how well these all work) and also because it was still a Christmas movie set in the north pole :-)

.. maybe i'm feeling festive this holiday season with an almost undeserving six stars - would be a little more accurate to give it a five and a half - but it was fun and not even a full ninety minutes.

Merry Christmas everybody.

After Earth (2013)

Remove Your Expectations And You Will Have A Fun Ride

[4/10 · 22 September 2013]

this was a tough one. IMDb and critics everywhere ripping this movie to shreds but the idea and the cast of this movie forced me to ignore what was being said... so i finally sat in front of my 60" led TV with surround sound and experienced After Earth.

... OK... yes - it was a flawed movie, and yes, this was probably Will Smith's worst acting to date (not having fear does not mean not having emotion either!!), but at the same time 'Big Willie' has set the bar so high for himself that we've gotten pretty spoiled, and the truth of the matter is 75% of Will Smith is still better than 100% of most so let's not forget that part... although, i do find it amazing that he never did actually get up and look in his own mirror or turn to his movie actress wife while he was writing this part for himself and ask her (or himself) if he is unable to act the part... because whatever it was, this Will Smith role just wasn't working (Sorry Willie)

Jaden?... eh.. maybe it's just really hard for us all to watch a kid grow up on screen... i mean, he just tore at your heart in Pursuit of Happiness and we loved him to pieces... we started to fall a little out of love with him after the Karate Kid remake (and understandably so) ... and now?.. well, now it seems like he has started to drastically transform from the days of being a child and people are just not welcoming it for whatever reason... but regardless, no.. his acting was not great... i don't think i would even call it good... BUT... i do think this role was a lot harder to nail down than people realize and would probably have been better suited in the hands of someone with a little more experience (or skills)... not an excuse, but if us 'regular folks' try to improve on our skills or our job, there are not millions of people around to watch and criticize how bad an attempt it was either... so.. just saying.

the plot? ... sometimes it's a matter of pick your poison i guess - this movie was an hour and forty minutes but it probably could have used two and a half hours to let it breathe properly and make it right. This movie definitely sped along too quickly at times, choosing to ignore proper character development, the father/son dynamic, simple silent suspense and not to mention logic... now,i don't mind letting go of logic and reason for the sake of cinema from time to time... but seriously, there is a scene in this movie where Jaden jumps off a cliff and literally outraces a hawk for about three and a half minutes like it's Top Gun circa 1986 (not kidding!)... we're talking FALLING here - and of course nothing happens to him at all... unlike a movie like 'Starship Troopers' which had a 'goofy type' of feel to it allowed for the loosening of the grip on reality and logic, but After Earth does not aim for that feel, which is why these oddities feel even worse.

... 'AE' served earth's evolved animals as the appetizer all the while leading you by the hand for the very obvious final course with the alien that they had been teasing since the start so there was not exactly any mystery as to what was awaiting him at the end.

... and finally, after all that.. the idea that these acid spitting aliens couldn't see or sense the humans - and i mean, AT ALL - if the humans weren't somehow afraid of them (?) was probably the most ridiculous, most frustrating part of it all... this was referred to as 'Ghosting' haha.. and this magically allowed the humans be virtually invisible in the presence of the aliens.... this was such a desired 'skill set' that the space armies were preparing to train their soldiers for 'Ghost Training'

...now that i'm done telling you what i didn't like, i'm still giving this movie a rating of a six for at least being entertaining - i happen to like futuristic, sci fi movies and enjoyed seeing some of the tech being shown, some other ideas of what the future could be like here... and even though i was not a fan of his acting in this movie, i still love ya Will Smith.

also of note... ... i finally saw this move well AFTER all the bad reviews.... i was a little skeptical about this movie being good and at this time of seeing and writing about it, it has an IMDb rating of a 4.9... which helps prove my angle a bit... i believe most people went in to see this movie expecting something much better than it really was and were left disappointed whereas i didn't expect much at all and walked away just a tiny bit more satisfied than unsatisfied.

Remove Your Expectations And You Will Have A Fun Ride

Star Trek (2009)

Bring Some Wine For All That Cheese!!

[5/10 · 12 September 2013]

I'm still trying to figure it out myself but I just don't get the hype around this movie at all. One of the biggest things that I took from this movie is that I'm actually pretty impressed with how far and how much JJ Abrams has come cause this was nowhere in the stratosphere of his batman movies and honestly, it had a very big element of 'b film' to it... matter of fact, we couldn't shake the feeling that this movie really seemed like we were watching 'Galaxy Quest' all over again... Believe it

I thought the story was extremely rushed, very fragmented and often pretty goofy. I remember watching Star Trek (the TV show) as a kid and thought that this Captain Kirk was definitely a mismatch... Captain Kirk was always ...coooool no matter what... I did not get that same feeling from this new one.... actually this kid did nothing but get his little tail kicked in all movie long... I don't think he won one single fight

The 'bad guy'?... (Sure thing!)... certainly NOT intimidating... never was I afraid of running into this nicely spoken Nero... he just simply added to the cheese that this movie is filled with.

The cgi was 'Eh' at best... The original creations and/or creatures were 'Eh' at best... dialogue, 'Eh' at best... the only good that came of me watching this movie was that I can now finally say that I watched this movie.

Sadly, I WILL watch the sequel (Into Darkness) but more because I'm an optimist (and an obvious sucker!)... but I will also expect significantly less and will make sure to bring some wine for all that cheese

Planes (2013)

Confused ...

[7/10 · 7 September 2013]

Not sure WHY this movie has received such a poor rating - i thought it was actually a pretty solid, pretty fun movie. Could it have been better?... sure - not many movies in the history of cinema that you can say 'no' to, but if you just want to go have some fun and enjoy a 3d animated film with the kids for the night?... you certainly won't go wrong with Planes.

The irony to me about most of the negative reviews was that this movie borrowed a lot of the material from 'Cars' but most of that was to be expected, no?... isn't that half the reason of going to see this movie in the first place? ... meanwhile, most of the architecture and outline from Cars was blatantly stolen from 'Doc Hollywood' but that didn't seem to bother too many people did it (haha - believe it!)

Anyway... i thought it was a fun movie - pretty predictable, yes, but how many animations aren't? I don't think we watch these movies for the twist endings do we?

I was pretty happy to see the return of Dane Cook, who has seemingly vanished since his (cringing) attempt at romantic comedies (thank god that's over)... but as with many of these animated movies today, it was the supporting cast and the eccentric characters that regularly steal the show. (El Chupacubra anybody?!)

All in all - i'm glad i didn't listen to everyone's negative reviews and went and saw this on the big screen... my daughter is too