fkkemble Reviews

Last Love (2013)

Sentimental mindless drivel

[3/10 · 19 January 2014]

I last saw Micheal Caine in 'Flawless' and both he and the movie were brilliant. I don't know what possessed him to star in 'Last Love' and even worse, he speaks with a ghastly American accent; its the opposite equivalent of Dick Van Dyke's terrible cockney accent in Mary Poppins. Not only that but he had to cope with this awful unintelligent and unconvincing dialogue,it's the worst movie I have ever seen him in-poor devil! Gillian Anderson has a powerful screen presence and I loved her as Miss Havisham but she too was fighting a losing battle with a wooden script. In fact the screenplay and dialogue were just plain sentimental and tawdry throughout; all of the main actors obviously struggled. Clemence Poesy is obviously a gutsy and characterful actor and I hope to see her star in other and better made movies. I was so hoping that this would be a fun independent movie and I love to encourage this but sadly, Last Love, just doesn't make the grade and will soon, I am sure, be relegated as another forgotten attempt even with the inclusion of some, at times, quite arresting shots of Paris. Too bad! . .

Great Expectations (2012)

Dismal, unfortunately!

[3/10 · 6 January 2014]

I love the writings of Charles Dickens and this is one of my favourite stories. I expected a riveting performance but was just plain disappointed. There were lots of great talent, Helena Bonham Carter, David Wallliams, Scottish fellow and Ralph Fiennes among others; some lovely photography but for some reason this just didn't work. I had also watched the version that included David Suchet, Ray Winstone and Gillian Anderson, an unlikely cast and yet it really worked and I was in raptures. Maybe it was because this version was a condensed cinematic version and some of the original story had to be discarded but I had the sense that an intimidating cast list and terrific photography would carry the day but it really didn't. I like all of the actors in this but I really felt that they were utterly miscast. You know, Robbie Coltrane would have been a far better Bumblechook. Helena Bonham Carter just should not have been employed. Too bad- I so wanted this to be good.

O Lucky Man! (1973)

A surreal indulgence

[7/10 · 10 November 2012]

What a wonderfully self indulgent director Lindsay Anderson was. This movie was the result of a concept spring boarding from the bowels of the subconscious straight onto the silver screen with precious little intervention from the conscious mind. I also think that he had a wonderfully warped and colourful sense of humour. I loved Artur Lowe and his three wonderful roles, Malcolm Macdowell's characters always seem so much more real and substantial than he is, a true actor I guess. I quite lost my heart to Helen Mirren who is a goddess. I also loved seeing Britain in the early seventies, a country that, at the time, was still uniquely quaint, contrary and individual. Even though I don't live there I found myself hungering to be there at that time. I loved this movie even though it was gorgeously weird.

The Avengers (2012)

garbage

[1/10 · 26 October 2012]

WHY-WAS-EVERYONE-SPEAKING-SO-SLOWLY-? DO- THEY - ALL -HAVE- A -SPEECH- IMPEDIMENT? This is a ghastly movie, the worst I have ever (partially) watched. I read the reviews for Prometheus which was not flawless but it was powerful and contained some outstanding imagery and it actually scored lower than this ( The Avengers) odious piece of crap. The acting was extraordinarily bad, the dialogue so witless and dim that it defies belief. I watched the first hour but was in danger of vomiting with disgust at any moment and so turned it off. Scarlet Johansen is a classy actress, what was she thinking, also Gwyneth Paltrow? Robert Downey Junior is a great actor who seems to always play in dumb movies- he's worth more than than. I heard good things abut this movie- what have we come to that people rate this garbage as entertainment?

Bright Star (2009)

Beautiful in every way.

[10/10 · 28 April 2012]

This is what movie making should be all about and not the relentless drivel that comes from Hollywood. I thought that Ben Wishaw and Abigail Cornish were perfect for the parts; I doubt that anyone else could have carried it off as well. Both actors were true to their craft and I have developed a deep admiration for Abigail Cornish as she is amazing, a mesmerising interpretation indeed. Paul Schneider also was perfect and carried off what, to me, was a very convincing Scottish accent. I also thought the setting perfect and what I loved was the authenticity of the representation of an era that had no rural street lighting, no properly paved roads and gardens that were turned over to produce. I loved the laundry fluttering in the breeze and the absence of background noise especially as it was filmed so close to London in England. I especially loved the cat, Topper and the little girl was sweet without being in the least bit precocious. I observed a remark, with astonishment, by someone who wrote a critique who thought the acting bad and I cannot comprehend the slightest failing that would lead this person to come to such an unintelligent conclusion. There was nothing about this movie that I didn't like and therefore rated it a ten. Well done Jane Campion, a masterpiece.

Revolver (2005)

A dark, complex and brilliant movie

[10/10 · 4 February 2012]

The only criticism of this movie is that it was so supremely and uncompromisingly clever and well made that it was obviously not made with the strict intention of entertaining the viewing masses. First of all, I love the slightly surreal feel to it and what adds to this is the fact that it was very evidently not made in the US but in the Isle of Man. What this movie brings to the audience is the same kind of thing that a really good book brings to the reader, interaction. Rather than just sit and be exposed to some vaguely entertaining medium, one is compelled to become involved and to 'think' and to interact; a preciously rare commodity in this day and age. Sadly, most viewers are happy with the crap that Hollywood directors persistently dish out and readers are similarly happy with mediocre books that are frequently on the New York Time Best seller list but are of dire artistic merit and severely challenged literary merit. What I love most of all is the bizarre irony in which the ego's of the viewers is brought into play almost as if it were the ego of Jake Green, Macha and the rest. I like Guy Ritchie Movies, loved 'Lock Stock....', wasn't so sure about 'Snatch', loved Rock'n'rolla but his best work without a doubt is this one. I am pretty sure Guy Ritchie doesn't need my accolade but i do feel that this movie was evidently so misunderstood especially as it was such an accomplished work of art ( for a change ) that he needs to be encouraged to keep the faith. I never give 10 out of 10 but I can;t stand the thought that this movie has been written off due to a poor IMDb score. My advice to those that didn't 'get it' is to make the effort, watch it again, ask questions if you are puzzled and then watch it again. There is nothing to be ashamed of in not understanding something but there is great shame in adopting the cloak of ignorance and not making any attempt to learn. Bravo Guy Ritchie

A Single Man (2009)

A movie that aspires to be clever and classy but at which it fails horribly

[30 October 2011]

I don't know when I have enjoyed a movie less and don't know why I wasted the rental fee. I divined the impression that this was to be a classy work of intelligent fiction but which was in fact a work of bilious and delusional self indulgence. It must have been a great coup for the production company to have suckered Colin Firth into what must be the worst role of his career. I admire him greatly as an actor and know him to be a pleasant and charismatic person but quite how and why he allowed himself to be lured into playing this role in this hideous and grotesque movie will forever be a mystery to me, he can't need the money. I see already, that this movie is fading into obscurity and was quickly removed from the 'new releases' shelf at the video store and relegated to the cheapo five day rentals shelf, no doubt it will speedily acquire the dusty patina of disuse and be finally removed one day to finish up in a thrift store. Don't bother watching it.

The Eclipse (2009)

Simple, poignant, very real and very beautiful

[22 October 2011]

There is a real magic in this film and I loved the pace and the charming simplicity. It's also unstintingly Irish and you feel that you are there in the thick of it all. I live in Canada but have been to Ireland twice and find the country to be full of intriguing paradoxes and ironies and quiet humour. You get a real feel for this in the film. I thought all three main actors were just brilliant especially Ciaran Hinds who played the part so naturally and so beautifully. I take my hat off to Aidan Quinn too who was a real sport and did an amazing job, Iben Hjejle was also great not to mention extremely attractive. In a film world constipated with so much doggerel, remakes and American action and teen movies, it makes a terrific change to see a movie that is refreshing and intelligent. The Irish, Australians and especially the British have a way with movie making that is so far and above the crap that comes from the US. Well done all who worked on The Eclipse, you should be proud.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Mediocre

[5/10 · 25 May 2011]

I like Robert Downey Junior a lot, I think he is a truly great actor who is invariably under utilised but he is not the quintessential British gentleman that Holmes most definitely was. Downey Junior was no good in this role and should never have been picked. I also really like Jude Law- but as Watson??? I think Rachel Macadam's is gorgeous and actually was quite well suited to the part. I think that Guy Ritchie is a really good director and admire his work but only in a particular genre, namely movies about London Cons, in this he excels. Basically Sherlock Holmes should have been good but it was actually mediocre drivel that would have had Sir Arthur Conan Doyle spinning in his grave. Anyone who had ever watched Edward Hardwick and Jeremy Brett as Watson and Holmes need look no further. They were brilliant and totally but exquisitely typecast. Brett was Holmes to the end of his life. The settings were well researched and authentic, the costumes amazing. The acting and direction amazing and above all it was very intelligent and rewarding in the extreme. All of the cast and Guy Ritchie would have done well to have read 'Sherlock Holmes' and to have watched the Brett/Hardwick version because then they would have had some idea of what would have been expected. Ridley Scott should have directed this movie. Charles Dance should have been Holmes and Ralph Fiennes, Watson or maybe Jeremy Northam. Why wasn't I consulted? I just hope there isn't a sequel because it will be even worse

The Snow Walker (2003)

Utterly beautiful

[10/10 · 6 February 2011]

I picked this movie up from the video store as I was in a hurry and could not decide what to choose so just grabbed the first thing. I didn't watch it for two days and was on the point of taking it back unseen but then gave it a whirl as an afterthought. I have to say that this is probably one of the most beautiful films I have ever watched. The acting was superb especially Barry Pepper and the girl Annabella Piugattuck. Not sure what a throat singer is but she is one, she can fish, she hunts seal and walrus, and makes clothing out of caribou hides- holy smokes!. If ever she's looking for a husband I'm her man although my wife might have a thing or two to say about that. Not only all that but she can act amazingly and she's gorgeous. I loved the photography too, utterly stunning, a visual feast. My only slight gripe was that there was just a little too much music/film score. Some of those scenes especially at the end would have benefited from total silence. I would liked to have seen him reunited with his buddies, was cut a little short there. Just a personal preference but this is a truly wonderful film and work of art and I am recommending it to all of my friends.

The Pink Panther 2 (2009)

Garbage

[1/10 · 19 September 2010]

I cannot understand why this movie was made? How can Steve Martin live with himself? He should be buried alive for foisting this abomination on the viewing public. Peter Sellars was a true genius and an unrivalled master as a comic actor in this role. His acting was both intelligent and inspired; Steve Martin on the other hand has simply made himself look utterly stupid. In any event I feel that Kevin Klein would have made a far better job of the Clouseau role if it had to be done at all. A great part of the charm of the Pink Panther movies was derived from the exclusively sixties flavour, the vehicles, the fashion and above all the actors who were extraordinarily well cast. The original Pink Panther movies attracted a varied and selective audience whereas the modern Pink Panther could only attract the accolade of the terminally stupid. Could we perhaps organise a petition to stop Steve Martin from repeating this offensive twaddle or maybe have a whip round and buy him off.

One Week (I) (2008)

Disappointing

[2/10 · 19 September 2010]

When I heard about this movie I so wanted it to be a success but then I was devastated when I watched it even though I understand the budget restrictions.The allegedly terminally ill rider Seemed hail and hearty one moment and then occasionally keeled over; hmmm? The Norton Commando which is a beautiful machine with a lusty roar was made to look like a scooter with too much use of a telephoto lens. The director couldn't direct,rider couldn't ride and the photographer was useless; where was Lazlo Kovacs?. What happened to all those lovely sixties style shots close up to the roaring exhaust and the wheel spitting gravel as it takes off or a machine ridden exuberantly but gracefully through tight turns. What a missed opportunity to show the country. Why did the bike stop dead from dirty fuel; this is nonsense? In any event the Commando has two carburetors and they wouldn't fail simultaneously. Furthermore the carburettor being dissected on the kitchen table looked like it came from a Briggs and Stratton. What happened to British Columbia? What happened to the script. This film should be rewritten and re-shot.

After.Life (2009)

Ghostly or Ghastly?

[2/10 · 19 September 2010]

I despair of the movie industry these days as I am continually disappointed. Where are the people that wrote/produced/directed such recent iconic productions such as Pan's Labyrinth, The Fountain, The Illusionist, Kingdom of Heaven. Afterlife was truly dismal in every way. I am frankly astonished that Liam Neeson was attracted to this tawdry and unintelligent load of garbage. Having said that Liam Neeson did a scarily convincing job as an undertaker but other than his contribution the acting was dire and the script had all the flair of a parts list for a washing machine. If Liam Neeson were not in this movie then I would have struggled to have voted any higher than 1 out of 10. What happened to the screen writers, were they all on strike? Was this a fourth grade English project perhaps? What legitimate production company with any sense of self preservation would even look twice at this nauseatingly hideous production let alone put money into it? I am almost speechless.

The Golden Bowl (2000)

Dull, unintelligent

[3/10 · 30 November 2009]

Good caste, appalling script and transparent plot. My wife and I love period drama's but this wasn't one. I turned it off after an hour. I have to say that Henry James is generally pretty dismal as a writer in my opinion and so the movie was seriously hamstrung from the start. I really like Jeremy Northam but his Italian accent made me want to punch him. I think that Uma Thurman is a good actress but I don't see her in this genre sadly. The British are the absolute kings of period drama in my opinion and so the US producers should really concentrate on the big screen thriller or sci-fi movies which they are so good at. If the British had produced and directed this movie there may have been improvement but they would never have picked it in the first place.

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Beautiful, Evocative

[9/10 · 29 November 2009]

Visually the most beautiful movie I have ever watched. It was amazing how Ridley Scott captured the flavour of those wondrous pre-raphealite images of the Holy Wars- quite fairy tale like. Liked all the actors especially Saladin. Not so sure about Orlando Bloom. I mean no disrespect and he did a good job but I don't think he has that great warrior screen presence that this role demands. The trouble is of course that there are not many suitable British actors left that would suit this role. What I would really love to see is Ridley Scott do a remake of the King Arthur legend, maybe using Marion Zimmer Bradleys 'Mists of Avalon' upon which to base the story. Apart from the rotten dialogue it had more of a ring of truth to it than Thomas Mallory's Morte d'Arthur. Ridley Scott could make this into something truly magical. I am originally a Brit and love these type of adventures. I already have a cast in mind if anyone is interested. Extremely well done

Frank

The Pink Panther (2006)

a ghastly effort

[1/10 · 30 January 2009]

Peter Sellars was a genius, complex, difficult, flawed, unpleasant at times but he was a genius and his brand of genius made the Inspector Clouseau movies an international and timeless success. They were immensely funny, charming, highly intelligent, even stylish and so captivating. It would take brave persons indeed to take on this project and attempt to perpetuate the glorious myth that has become an institution. Quite why it was considered necessary to make another Pink Panther movie was a decision that debases reason and then to compound the debacle by employing Steve Martin makes one speculate as to whether the production company were either drunk or on drugs at the time. It is a disastrously stupid and facile attempt and has none of the hallmarks of its forerunners. I liked Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels but I have to say that his portrayal as Inspector Clouseau is a gross insult to Peter Sellars memory as he really does not have what it takes in so many ways. I am not often moved to writing comments about anything but feel so impassioned about this that I had to declare my acrimony toward this garbage movie and it's appalling sequel. What the hell is John Cleese thinking? I have yet to meet anyone who actually really like it quite apart from the terminally dim.There must be so much good virgin material out there, why waste time and money on such impossible projects. Time to let Pink panther rest methinks.

Frank, British Columbia

Joan of Arc (1999)

dismal

[2/10 · 7 February 2007]

I rented this movie expecting something powerful, well researched, intelligently directed and with memorable acting. In the event, even the great Peter Otooles role is lacklustre. This movie has none of these qualities and in fact resembles the kind of thing that I would have expected from a Doris Day and Rock Hudson movie. There must be a director and a screen writer out there that can produce something really stirring from raw material that begs to be exploited and using proper actors rather than a vapid collection of Hollywood wannabes. If anyone has ever seen 'A man For All Seasons ( 1966 ) directed by Fred Zinneman then use this as a gauge for what constitutes a really good film. Any takers? Francis Kynaston Kemble