ashdoc53 Reviews

Skyfall (2012)

this bond movie does not live up to its hype

[5/10 · 3 November 2012]

Aaah !! To be James Bond....

You chase a bad guy up and down an exotic city in the mystical orient ( Istanbul---Constantinople for those waiting to see it liberated from the clutches of the Turks ) first in a car and then on a motorbike making impossible jumps without hitting or killing any living soul....

....and then the chase continues on a train until you are shot at the hands of a delectable black girl....

But lo !! you still survive the shot by falling deep into water , and are saved to end up being caressed tenderly by the loving fingers of a lovely woman in bed.....

This whole action sequence is shot beautifully making it one of the best starts to a Bond movie ever---making you ask for more....

But the more does not come at all....

Instead what you get to see is a plot to expose the identities of all MI6 agents on Youtube metamorphose into a mission to save Bond's boss M from the revenge of an old MI6 agent who is out to settle old scores with her....

And what a villain is the old wronged MI6 agent....all blonde and gay....

Yes , gay enough to lay his hands on James Bond's muscular thighs stroking them with lust in his eyes....

And with this gay villain getting centerstage , the women are sidelined....we don't get to see Bond on top of the delectable black girl at all....and the one he gets to bed is shot dead within a short time....

Yeah ,the exotic locations are all there photographed with skill---from the hideous beauty of Shanghai ( hideous because it was built by kicking out 3 million poor people from their homes ) to the modern wonders of Macau....

.....And so are the high tech bond gadgets like an antique car that fires machine gun fire from hidden guns to a pistol that is coded to James Bond's palm prints....

But ultimately it comes down to a showdown with the villain by the use of old shotguns and makeshift bombs in Bond's ancestral home in Scotland with an old geezer as ally....

So can James Bond prevent MI6 operatives from being exposed ?? And most importantly , can he save M from being killed ??

Go and see the movie for that....

But is it worth the watch ?? I think not....

For there are too many loose ends---like how does James survive the shot and fall from the train....and how does the villain escape so easily after being caught and held amidst tight security by MI6 ??

The one thing that shines is Daniel Craig as James Bond---who is all brawn and muscle and acting performance....

But to me at least , it wasn't enough to carry the film entirely on his ( admittedly broad ) shoulders....

The action is bunched in at the start and at the end with the middle of the movie showing all talk but no action....

Music is decent....

But the movie is barely decent....

Verdict---just about okay...

Aazaan (2011)

bad just bad

[2 November 2012]

AZAAAAAAN.....at least to a politically incorrect person like me this Muslim call for prayer to the devout sounds like a terrible call for jihad that reverberates across the ages......

Images of gun-toting men attacking my hometown Mumbai or planting bombs elsewhere and masked terrorists creating mayhem in Kashmir or Chechnya flash through my mind......

Thats what I went to the movie for--to see the heady cocktail of Islam , Kalashnikovs , violence and terrorism.....

But lo.....Azaan Khan is actually the name of a RAW agent , a MUSALMAN DESHBHAKT.....

And what is the task set before this Muslim deshbhakt ??

It is to save the country from biological warfare--a deadly strain of the Ebola virus that China has spread across the country to kill people in millions.....

And to do that he has to go get a girl in Morrocco whose blood has been inoculated by Dr Maifooz ( another Muslim deshbhakt ) against the virus before he was killed by the anti-national forces . Replicating her antibodies in laboratories will give India the cure to the Ebola infection .

But to get to her and save his country Mr Azaan Khan will have to fight against the agents of those who want to destroy India--dangerous mean people who have high tech weapons , and whom Azaan has to counter with brains and brawn.....

.....And counter them he does.....

In the bhojpuri accented English of his RAW handler (actor Ravi Kissan )--He faaught like a lian against aaal aaads

But while countering them he has to fight against turncoats from his own RAW agency who are working for the enemy , and against his own younger brother Aman Khan the Muslim deshdrohi.....

But one word about this maha Muslim deshbhakt......why was such a wooden , expressionless actor chosen for this lead role ?? For he is an actor who is not able to show any emotion even when his mehbooba ( some firangi actress ) dies in his arms , ending a brief and tragic romance..... What hold does he have in the film industry that he was chosen in spite of his obvious incapacity to act ??

The fight sequences are the only somewhat interesting part of the film , but even they are mitigated by the hero's ( Sachin Joshi ) expressionless acting......

In the end the hero saves the country at the cost of his life.....and I really wish he's dead so that I don't have to see him in more films in the future....

As far as YOU are concerned......you don't have to see him in this film too....

......For I am not recommending it to you.....

Verdict--not good.....

Haunted - 3D (2011)

okay movie

[5/10 · 2 November 2012]

This movie can be enjoyed only with 3D and dolby digital soundtrack . So remember to watch it in a good theater .

With these effects its pretty good , with the jolts and shocks coming regularly and keeping you interested .

At first the movie starts dispiritedly , with the hero with a sadela thobda ( we will call him sadela thobda only ) having made a deal for a purani haveli ( so whats new ?? ) and coming there to confront some strange happenings in the haveli .

As the movie progresses sadela thobda realises that the atma is that of a beautiful girl who has undergone some terrible misfortunes 80 years ago , and she looks up to him to be her saviour--go back 80 years in time to prevent those from misfortunes from ever happening.....to turn the clock back ,almost literally .

But will sadela thobda want to return back to 2011 after completing his task , especially after being introduced to such a beautiful girl ......??

Interested ??

Well ,the movie does get interesting , especially in the second half , as it shrugs off the lethargy of the first half .

The special effects and shocks and jolts are what keep the movie alive . Trouble is , at least in the first half you feel that the director has paid more attention to the 3D effects rather than the story .

But the deadly spirits that suddenly appear to almost hit you on the face due to the 3D effects do keep the action alive .

There was a lot of laughing and sniggering going on among the audience , especially in the first half , but the girls were doing it more to hide their nail-biting nervousness .

But watching this movie on TV or computer is no good--it can be enjoyed only in theater......

And in the theater it is good enough to give you a few scares......

P.S--

To tell a funny incident , the chief evil spirit is that of a man known as Aiyyar .When sadela thobda is told that taking the name of the spirit increases its power , he deliberately decides to invoke and challenge it by calling ' Aiyyar ' . But it does not appear , and he begins to repeat the name again and again. It still doesn't appear , and the audience began to laugh and snigger and began to chant ' Aiyyar , Aiyyar ' ......And this was supposed to be a serious scene !! I wish the director had avoided such inanity .

Dum Maaro Dum (2011)

decent enough

[6/10 · 2 November 2012]

Goa in the 21st century.......

'' Kiristav , khata hai pav , karta hai myav '' , said noted Marathi language author-cum-politician Acharya Atre in Marathi language about Goa's Christian community in the mid-twentieth century when Goa was still ruled by the Portuguese .

Well , in the twenty-first century the Christian community in Goa is hooked onto something more than just pav--drugs......

Director Rohan Sippy brings back into limelight the scourge that Dev Anand had filmed about so famously in the 70s--paying his tribute by titling the movie by its most well-known song .

In place of the Portuguese are the neocolonialists--Russians , Israelis , French and Nigerians , who have neatly divided Goa into sectors where this most westernised part of India has become a haven for drugs , sex and dhokha--in reverse order.....

And behind all this ,in every drug deal , is the mysterious hand of someone called Michael Barbosa--an entity so enigmatic that hardly any one has seen him , and no one knows his true identity......

And tasked to identify and bring him to justice is ACP Vishnu Kamat ( played by Abhishek Bachchan ) whose passion for the task comes from the death of his family due to drugs , and the blessings for whose task comes from a politician with one foot in the grave--thus both are people who have nothing to lose......

.....which is fitting.......

........For those who have something to lose keep clear of drugs , and above all from Michael Barbosa's long reach--as a young Christian boy ( played by Prateik Babbar ) learns the hard way when he plays with both......

Yeah ,the battle against drugs is a long , hard one , with no satisfaction or security of life for those who fight against it--as one discovers when person after person who tries to bring the drug kingpins to justice is packed off to heaven ( presumably , for fighting against such a threat to society )........

For ACP Vishnu Kamat , grim satisfaction lies in the fact that after he dies , he will remain in Goa--for he thinks that there is no other heaven in this universe than Goa itself......

The movie chillingly brings out how difficult it is to bring an end to the scourge of drugs , and how hopeless is the fight , for the whole system is infected with the agents of the people who sell drugs .

The songs are good ,the dialogues pack a punch , and the movie gets better as it progresses .

Verdict--decent enough.....

Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster (2011)

liked the women

[7/10 · 2 November 2012]

Looks like the ban on showing smoking in films has been lifted......

And as if to compensate for the lost years when smoking was not allowed to be shown in films , the film shows everyone smoking.....

......Including the women too.....

AAAHH the women......

They form the delectable part of the film......

......Showing off their sensuous curves in backless blouses , deliberately standing in alluring poses , showing desire on their faces , enticing their lovers and audiences with lipstick on oh so inviting lips , making wanton love on the double bed or even on bare rocks in the hills , behaving in a free , almost shameless manner and showing passion in every move.....

Leading the pack is Mahie Gill , a sultry woman waiting , waiting , just waiting for the husband who , quite unbelievably , is always the arms of his mistress !!

Now why would anybody neglect a woman as seductive as that and go into the arms of another woman ??

Thats because everybody , including the saheb ( husband ) , biwi ( Mahie ) has his or her's ata dhill in this crumbling mansion--the ruins of a once powerful royalty , but now fallen on hard times.....

Doesn't matter--the fact that the saheb goes into the arms of another woman gives the audience the chance to see another temptress ( the mistress ) in action.....

.....And action she gives--gives all the oohs and aahs while making love , and giving embraces with her lovely arms entwined around the saheb's neck.....

But what about the biwi ??

Doesn't a woman filled with tempestous desire need to fulfill her passions , her needs--needs which just cant be fulfilled by whiling the time in smoking and drinking , and waiting for the love which will never come from the erratic husband.....

Enter the ghulam....or , err , gangster--in the form of Randeep Hooda--a person sent by a rival gangster to keep a watch on the saheb , waiting for a chance to bump him off......

......Thats because the saheb has entered the dangerous underworld of murders and contract killings in order to finance his crumbling monarchy--thereby earning a lot of dangerous enemies.....

But the movie veers off course as instead of concentrating on his job , the gangster becomes ghulam of the biwi's heart.....

Who cares anyway ?? We get to see more passion in action , this time between the biwi and the gulam--on bare rocks in the hills , in secret hideways in lonely hills ....naked bodies burning in desire....and happily for the audiences eyes ( and other parts as well--you naughty ) , fulfilling it....

And its passion that counts.....

For who cares for the murder and the mayhem that is unleashed as the rival gangster tries to bump off the saheb , the hopelessly in love ghulam hatches a plot to kill both the mistress and the saheb in order to permanently get his ladylove the biwi , and ultimately the biwi has to choose between killing the ghulam or the saheb......that stuff occurs in all films anyway.....

We had our fun.....now time to walk away from the theater.....its not a fantastic movie anyway.....good for a one time watch.....

Verdict-- not fantastic , but decent enough.....

Shor in the City (2010)

not good

[3/10 · 2 November 2012]

This is a balaji film , so it was expected that Tushar Kapoor , brother of its owner Ekta Kapoor would get maximum mileage .

But even changing his name to Tusshar Kapoor has not helped produce a good film

Its about the stories of an RI ( returned Indian ) , a bunch of three crooks including Tushar , and an aspiring cricketeer whose stories run on separate tracks in mumbai , but are destined to intersect at some point......so whats new --aren't all films nowadays having the same formula ??

So returned Indian , who has a bad past which is never explained , tries to open a business in India , but gets into trouble with local crooks who want him to pay ' security money ' ,so that he can do business peacefully . But he does manage to land himself a dishy babe......

........Tushar and his bunch are forever bungling their capers , though the last bungle brings them almost to the end.....

Aspiring cricketeer is simply not good enough to get inti IPL , and has no money to bribe his way in--which makes him unworthy for the girl he's dating.....so he tries to get his money by crime......

In the midst of all this Tushar Kapoor starts to read Paulo Coelho's book THE ALCHEMIST using his tootee-footee angrezi , and realises that the future of everybody's life in the film is also going to be like the book has predicted !!

So whats in the future for these people ??

I haven't read THE ALCHEMIST , so don't ask me......

Bol (2011)

unveils the truth about Pakistan

[6/10 · 2 November 2012]

If the director wanted to make a statement against the population explosion in Pakistan , then he makes it in a brutal and convoluted manner.....

......Or so it seems.....

......Or more probably , its the reality of Pakistan--a country going to the dogs anyway......

In a country which abounds in religious fanatics , its a story of one of them....

Not a jehadi , but a commonplace religious fanatic.....

He is a guy who produces seven daughters in the hope of getting a son ; a person who beats up his daughters and wife ; refuses to send his daughters to school beyond fifth grade ; does not even watch films ; and has a murderous bent about him , especially in matters of religion.....

......And the amazing thing is that , he is considered an ultra- respectable gent ; a pillar of the community in his area !! A person to be trusted with the safekeeping of the community funds !! More proof of Pakistan going to the dogs ??

His reputation is built on his religiosity , and the fact that subcontinental peoples have a remarkable respect for doctors--even the native variety ; and this fellow is a hakeem......

Misfortune falls upon the hakeem as one of his children turns out to be a eunuch....

Though his sisters lavish love and affection on their...err...' brother ' , he cannot go against nature , and falls in love with his sister's boyfriend.....

.....Prompting her to send him to a place outside home--Big mistake !! He is raped by men who prey on such unfortunates.....

This sends his hakeem father in a murderous rage in which he kills his eunuch ' son '.

The story takes incredible convolutions after this--To bribe the police in order not to go to jail for the murder, hakeem sahib has to steal from the community funds that he has for safekeeping , and to give them back to the community, he has to go to a pimp.....

The pimp makes an unbelievable deal with the hakeem--he says ( and would you believe it !! ) '' you sleep one night with my most beautiful prostitute , Meena--for you have a reputation for producing daughters ; and daughters are needed to keep us in business in future generations !! '' In return for this ' favour ', he is ready to give the money.....

But the conscience of the hakeem forces him to cajole Meena into sending the newborn daughter to him to prevent her from being a prostitute . But the pimps hoodlums come to his house to take the girl back--prompting the godfearing hakeem to try to kill the daughter ; this , in turn forces his rebellious older daughter to kill him.....

Phew !!.....

As if this was not enough , she does not say anything in her own defence in court , but asks that she be allowed to tell her story on TV just before she is hanged--and then she vomits out the whole story..... What was the need for the director to resort to this final melodrama ?? Why could she not vomit out the story in courtroom itself ?? God ( oh , I mean allah ) knows.....

Oh , I forgot--all this is to prove that producing too many children is wrong.....Now WTF !!

The movie is dark ,depressing , and full-to-dimaag-ko-tension...

Verdict--if you have a perversion for perverted movies ( I do !! ) , then this might work for you....

Force (2011)

good action

[7/10 · 2 November 2012]

Here's an action film that takes itself seriously--at least.....

The fights ,the punches , the shootings , the broken bones--all seem real.....

Unlike Dabangg and Singham , where there is no seriousness to the dhishum dhishum , and the film seems to be mocking itself , and also the audience , this film is a no holds barred blood and revenge story.

And the action happens at an electric , breathless pace....

But when the action is not happening , there are moments of romance too.....

.....And those are provided by Genelia D'souza , who plays a bold and mod ' forward ' city girl , but without any vulgarity ; instead displays a joie de vivre and charm that instantly makes her performance endearing.....

The action is provided by the confrontation between two goodlooking bodybuilders--John Abraham and Vidyut Jammwal ; John is the cop from NCP ( no , not Sharad Pawar's Nationalist Congress party , but Narcotics control police ) , and Vidyut is the drug smuggler . Both have their motives for revenge on each other , but only one is bound to survive....those are the rules of the game......

While John is bound by his duty and his passion for his job , Vidyut is bound by his greed to control the narcotics business alone--and neither is willing to back down......

....Which leads to some real shootings , killings , murders and even rape.....

As Vidyut crosses all limits , breaking the old unwritten laws by which policemen and criminals don't target each others families , both begin to lose their close relations and friends to the mayhem.....

.....Making it a fight to the finish......

The photography is excellent and the songs are hummable , and John is looking all brawn and muscle .

However ,unlike Dabangg and Singham , it does not look like a film made for the masses ; John looks too westernised , and so does Genelia , and so does the pace , rhythm and look of the film....

But the classes wont mind it at all.....

Verdict--okay .

404: Error Not Found (2011)

decent horror

[6/10 · 2 November 2012]

Its raining horror movies galore in bollywood--and here's one more......

Room number 404 is a room in the hostel of a medical college where a student has committed suicide previously . No one dares to stay in that room for 3 years until a brave young junior decides to take that room as his room during his stay at the hostel .

Senior students decide to rag him , and during the ragging , convince him that the ghost of the dead student resides in the room.

But does it really exist ??

This is a horror movie with a difference-- in the sense that unlike other horror movies which are clear-cut about the certainty of the spirits' existence , in this movie the audience itself is left wondering whether the ghosts being shown are for real , or they are just a hallucination in the mind of the junior.

And the movie does try to explore the psychology behind people's belief in ghosts.

So are ghosts for real ?

The movie gives no clear-cut answers for that--but who cares......thanks for the entertainment anyway

Verdict--not bad.

Luv Ka the End (2011)

bad chick flick

[3/10 · 2 November 2012]

This movie is about a vestal virgin who is so much in love with her boyfriend that she is ready to lose her virginity to him--but at the last moment ( before anything happens ) is brought to her senses by friends , who prove to her that to her boyfriend , she is just his latest conquest , and he has no plans to marry her .

And all of a sudden , this shy girl turns into an avenging woman hell- bent on punishing the bad guy !!

The plans to take revenge are corny and unrealistic, to say the least , including drugging the guy and making him dance an item number wearing ghagra choli !!

Once the girl goes into revenge mode , the movie goes all hyper--too much happens too fast .Some women may like a girl taking revenge on a bang-bang-thank-you-ma'm type of guy .

But at least I didn't like it......

Not a Love Story (2011)

watchable stuff

[7/10 · 2 November 2012]

One can almost imagine Ram Gopal Verma rubbing his hands with glee when he heard the story of the murder of Neeraj Grover , especially the fact that his murderer Emile Jerome Mathew and accomplice Maria Susairaj had cut Neeraj's bloodstained body into 300 l-i-t-t-l-e l-i-t-t-l-e pieces before disposing it off .

Here was a story fit to be fit to be brought on celluloid by the badshah of blood and gore !! The king of countless underworld films in bollywood !! Some good , some bad , but all having the trademark RGV style......

But while showing the mayhem unleashed by a crime of passion in a flat in Dheeraj Solitaire building in Malad in Mumbai , RGV surprisingly shows a softer side of himself......

For he shows the three main characters of the film ( the murdered , the murderer and the accomplice ) as the victims of a situation rather than trying to pin the guilt on anyone .

His softest touch is reserved for the woman--Anusha , as Maria is called in the film . She is shown to be the unwitting accomplice who is helpless as Robin ( as Mathew is called in the film ) and Ashish ( as Neeraj is called in the film ) physically tussle it out after Robin suddenly lands into Anusha's rented flat to find a naked Ashish there-- and a mere spectator as Robin overpowers Ashish and kills him with a knife .

Ashish is shown to be a nice guy who helps out Anusha in her film career , and is prompted to make love to her only when he lands in her flat in a drunken state and loses control of himself .

To return to Anusha--she is shown to have rejected advances of other film-makers earlier , only to be unable to stop Ashish from making love to her as she has to pay a debt of gratitude . After all , he is the one who has helped her realise her bollywood dreams......

And Robin--he is the one with glazed eyes all through the film, as if he knows that he is going to commit a terrible crime , even before he has committed it .

But glazed eyes and all , nothing has prepared him for the sight of a naked Ashish as he steps inside his girlfriends rented flat one fine morning in Mumbai.....

......A sight which makes him lose control of his mind , and what happens next is just driven by passion , pure passion--a passion which knows no rhyme nor reason......

The rest--sending Anusha out to buy a large knife to cut the body into pieces , then actually cutting it , and putting the pieces into plastic bags , and then disposing them off in a remote area ,then wiping off all the blood in the flat--is something that Robin and Anusha have to do only after realising the enormity of what they have done too late.....

But caught in an impossible situation ,seeing their lives , their careers on the line , what else can the two young lovers dooooo.......??

And seeing such a plot , what does RGV's camera do ??

It moves up and down the heroine's ( what else can we call her , even though she has taken part in such a grisly crime ? ) body like a voyeur , almost licking her at times.....

......And it is never steady , constantly on the move--A reflection of RGV's mind ??

Watching over all this is lord Ganesha , or at least his idol in the rented flat--making us wonder if the lord has any control over what is happening in his universe......

In the end the sheer weight of the situation forces the two lovers to back opposing stories in the courtroom ( as told by their lawyers ) until a moment of passion ( here we go again !!) allows them to reunite for a heartbreakingly brief moment.....but the heartless society is all around to prevent it......

Verdict--watchable.....

Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge (2011)

good chick flick

[6/10 · 2 November 2012]

In the sixties , movies used to show actors in their thirties pretending to be students in college .

Now seventeen year olds are shown pretending to be 21 year olds in college courtesy Yash raj films .

......All to enjoy the freedom of boozing and doing the things that adults do--yeah , even the girls !!

And the new vehicle for starting romance is the internet ; more specifically , the star of the net--facebook , what else.....

Yeah , forget dating sites and all that , these college kids are hooked on to facebook for finding a partner.....

So whats the story ??

A goodlooking girl and a goodlooking guy use the profiles of an even better looking girl and better looking guy to chat with each other......for they are not so confident about their real self .

As they begin to like each other , they want to meet . But both don't know who they are chatting to , and send the real persons of the profiles to meet each other .

So there are four people in the ring--the two real people whose profiles are being used , and the two fakes who are using the profiles to chat with each other .

But who is in love with whom ??

They all themselves are confused about that , because the fakes like each other on the net , but don't like each other in real life.....

So how will romance blossom , and between whom and whom ??

But don't worry ; as the cliché goes--love will find a way.....

But until its finds a way , there is some fun , some college dhammal , some entertainment , some partying , some college pranks to be pulled......

All candyfloss stuff for the bubblegum crowd......

So go have fun !!

Verdict--watchable .

Yeh Dooriyan (2011)

not good

[3/10 · 2 November 2012]

And you thought a 40 year old divorced woman with two kids in India leads a shitty abandoned life ??

Welcome to the new India.....

This 40 year old smashing divorcée with two kids ( Deepshikha )wears miniskirts and even more exposing clothes , has parties with friends where she has male admirers who wish they hadn't been married so they could flirt with her , makes women younger than her jealous of her beauty and charm , keeps herself fit by running a dance school where sexy babes and goodlooking hunks vie for her attention , and goes to exotic vacations with her friends.....

......And while doing all this , does the job of being a good mother to her two kids.....

.......All of which calls for the attention of a goodlooking younger man who falls for her hook ,line and sinker......

And then life turns into a bed of roses , with candle-lit dinners , champagne on the beach and those midnight sessions on the double bed the kind of which leave lovebites on the body and an exhausted feeling of physical happiness in the mind....

And the young man then charms his way into the hearts of the children who yearn for his company , all under the encouraging eyes of liberal , indeed liberated grandparents who don't mind their daughter getting her second chance of love in her life......

To complete the circle of happiness , all this has the approval of her friends , including even the men who had dreamt of being unmarried so that they could one day flirt with her , but now are happy just seeing her joy.....

It all seems a dream......

Well actually , it just is that--its just a dream......

For then enters the dragon......

Actually the dragon enters in the form of the mother of the young man who scowls at the relationship and dins into his head the fact that this backward and primitive society we live in is never going to accept a younger bachelor's marriage with an older woman with kids.....

And she puts her foot down and demands that he call the whole thing off.....

But not so easy !! He's a young man in love.....

On the other hand , there's also the ex-husband ; the real father of the kids , who is sorry over his earlier behaviour which led to the divorce and wants his wife back......

So what path does our lady choose ?? --The husband or the lover ??

Go and watch the movie for that......

Actually , don't watch--for the ending is disappointing , and disappointing ends make disappointing movies.....

And movies which don't disappoint are a rarity to find......

Just as rare as husbands who really accept their past mistakes , and as rare as boyfriends who have the guts to go against the society.....

In fact , such husbands , such boyfriends , and maybe even such movies don't exist.....

What exist are dreams , but dreams don't ever turn into reality.....

So , don't go to this movie and disappoint yourself.....

Thank You (I) (2011)

timepass movie

[4/10 · 2 November 2012]

Typical Akshay Kumar movie.....

Lots of semi-naked phoren babes--and shots of Akki cavorting with them ( what else ? ) , like they are in aaaaaalllllll of Akki's films .

To join him this time are Bobby ( out of work ) Deol , Irrfan Khan ( can a bollywood movie do without a Khan nowadays ? ) and Suniel Shetty ( even the change of name from Sunil to Suniel wont change the luck of this non-actor ,the way it has for Irfan to Irrfan ).

All are sleazy guys who get caught by their wives cheating with other women and end up to ask help from Akki , who himself is a womanizer ( so whats new about Akshay , even in real life )

Little do they know that Akshay is upto games of his own.......

The movie is funny in some parts , though the ending is corny .

Verdict--okay for some timepass.

Rakhta Charitra 2 (2010)

more violence and gore

[6/10 · 27 October 2012]

How do you feel if a host invites you again after giving you a sumptuous meal ?.......and lo !! , surprises you with a feast that is more lavish than the first....

Well ,thats how you feel after watching Rakhtacharitra part 2.....

Except ,the word feast should be replaced by Ram Gopal Verma's hallmark , violence and gore.....and more violence and gore.

One would have thought that the first edition of the movie could not be surpassed in bloodletting , but in the second edition our host serves it in dollops.

But the dollops are more digestible in the second part than the first ,for unlike the first part , where the villain Nagamani Reddy indulges in pointless barbarism , this time the violence has a meaning , a purpose.

The purpose is revenge , what else.......a purpose that is as old as the hills that stand in the countryside......and as an arbiter of violence , will probably outlive them......in fact ,will last as long as humanity does , which I hope will be a pretty long time ( unless we all go down in nuclear armaggeddon ).

And who wants revenge ??.....The son of the man ( Veerbhadra Reddy )the hero ( Pratap Ravi played by Vivek Oberoi ) killed in the last film......

His name is Surya ,and he is after Pratap's blood......

By this time Pratap , the rebel-with-a-cause in the last film has turned into a semi-villain , as the arrogance of power and the need to hang on to that power makes him sanction the murder of innocents .

Many of the shots are taken in slow-motion , and help to accentuate the violence.......especially the expressions on the actors faces in slow motion as they indulge in bloodlust leave a lasting impression .

Ram Gopal verma tries to convey the same message as that of mahabharat , namely that war is futile , and if seeing scene after scene of murder and a pile of dead bodies doesn't convince you of that message , nothing else will !!

The Social Network (2010)

good one

[6/10 · 27 October 2012]

Whether anybody likes it or not ,facebook is the one of the biggest phenomenons of our times ,and anyone who uses the internet , literally lives under the shadow of facebook.

This the story of how Mark Zuckerberg founded facebook ,or co-founded it ,as he is forced by a lawsuit to admit. Mark takes the help of friends in harvard to start facebook ,or thefacebook , as it was called at that time , who finance his endeavour . But as happens when huge amounts of money begin to roll in , friendships begin to sour over money, ,relationships begin to break ,and in the end everyone ends up in the courtroom .

Which provides the perfect setting for flashbacks , as much of the movie is in flashback mode ,as everyone remembers and recounts in the courtroom as to what part he had in the making of facebook ,the wheelings and dealings ,from their own perspective , of course. There is no action in the movie , so the director had to keep the dialogues crisp ,and fast-paced. This ,the director has succeeded in doing , and thus creating an engaging movie.

In this movie , Mark Zuckerberg emerges as a total nerd , somebody who might have made a lot of money , but would be difficult to live with , in real life. The movie starts with him breaking up with his girlfriend , who is fed up with his nerdish ways , and he retaliates by passing insulting comments on her in his blog .

However , the movie is made by inputs given by his former friend Eduardo Saverin , who eventually filed a lawsuit on him ,so he is bound to give a negative image of Mark Zuckerberg. Inspite of this , Jesse Eisenberg has given a good portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg ,and his performance is head and shoulder above the others.

Justin Timberlake also acts well as Sean Parker ,the hard-partying man who asks Mark to drop the 'the' from thefacebook ,and call it just facebook ,the name we are familiar with today.

The story of facebook is not yet over ,so there might be a part two movie when it has evolved ,or moved into a bigger league. If its as good as this one , I'll sure watch it.........

Rakta Charitra (2010)

barbaric violence

[6/10 · 27 October 2012]

Welcome to the world of superviolence .........courtesy the greatest exponent of it ,Ram Gopal verma........

As the name suggests , this film is not for sissys ,kids or vegetarians........

........And Ram Gopal Verma himself has gone on record to say that ,as far as this film is concerned ,women should stay at home.......

That explains why the theater was 2/3 rd empty.....on the second day itself....

Because the audience has been cut down to only males ,that too the non- veg eating ,blood and gore loving types......

And what a feast for them !!

Rivers of blood flow ,enough to make a vampire overnourished for weeks.......

Women are abducted , literally in broad daylight ,and raped like whores.......

Boulders are smashed on peoples heads ,and other innovative methods of killing people like boring holes through their skulls are invented......

The place seems to be alive with rifles ,knives ,pistols ,koytas,and other such weapons.......

And masterminding all the mayhem is Nagamani Reddy ( played by Abhimanyu Singh ) ,the villain of the film......

His performance is the stellar performance of the film ,what holds the film together.....

..........For he plays with with absolute perfection , the role of a sadistic ,savage ,absolute brutal despot of a small town ,with animal- like instincts ,that too the carnivore type............

The small town is Anantpur in Andra Pradesh , and the film is based on a true enemity.........

Which means that such a person really existed !!

And who's his enemy ??......Vivek Oberoi ,who else ,who also has to murder and kill in equal measure........

And he does that with determination and skill........a good acting performance from him too........

Shatrughan Sinha does a brave effort to fit into the mighty shoes of N T Rama Rao.........but only a Telgu can tell if he succeeds........

And what a Telgu can enlighten us is also about the real-life happenings in Anantpur in the past........since they were considered worth making a film on them......

Verdict--not bad , if barbaric violence is your cup of tea......

The Tourist (I) (2010)

not too bad

[4/10 · 27 October 2012]

Scotland yard is after a mysterious man named Alexander Pearce who has stolen 744 million dollars , but has changed his face by plastic surgery, and so is unrecognizable . They try to get to him by tracking his lover Angelina Jolie .

Angelina Jolie throws them off-track by hitching up with a tourist who looks like Alexander ( Johnny Depp ) ,but in the process ends up falling in love with him.......

Unfortunately some other bad guys are also after Alexander , and they attack Depp thinking he is him .

The film has some beautiful photography of European cities taken obviously from helicopter , and some breathtaking scenes of the European countryside as a train passes through it.

The action is well-paced and the movie has class written all over it......right from the suite where Angelina stays in Italy to the clothes she wears.....

Verdict--okay

Mirch (2010)

naughty movie

[6/10 · 27 October 2012]

This is one unabashedly feminist film.

A struggling scriptwriter tries to convince a producer to make a film based on his script , which consists of four separate stories, and the film shows the stories unfold on screen as he tells the producer .

All four stories are of women who unabashedly cheat on their husbands and have sex with other men , but in most cases the husband's deserve the treatment they get . If you really got a heart ( and most males don't , when the topic is of women's rights ) , its not difficult to sympathise with those women ....

One is a beauty married off to a short , ugly man ; second is a youthful woman married off to an man old enough to be her grandfather ,presumably against her wishes , who has no capacity to satisfy her ; third is a loving , caring wife whose husband suspects her to the point of testing her loyalty by coming disguised as another man to her and trying to entice her ; fourth is the wife of a man who regularly visits prostitutes .

Mind you , all this is attempted to be shown in a entertaining manner , and the tone of the film is of light-hearted entertainment......much of the audience was laughing and sniggering through the movie , as the women use their wiles to lure other men into bed , and make fools of their husbands.

Amazingly ,all stories are claimed to be lifted from the panchatantra.......I really did not know that India had reached such high heights of wisdom in ancient times.......

Raima Sen looks sensuous , especially as it is she who has done all the exposing and love-making in her scenes ,while konkona sen is not so good as she has exposed less......well ,to be frank , she doesn't look as good as Raima anyway........

Where the director fails is the ending ,where , as the producer tells the script-writer ( and the director seems to remind himself ) , the four stories need some point where they connect with each other ........but the connecting point is so weak , that you feel disappointed......

I read somewhere that people remember a novel if it has good opening chapter , and a movie if it has a good last scene......if that is true , then inspite of some good parts ,people wont much remember this film.....

However , the director can take satisfaction in the fact that he has made an ' adults ' film ( yeah , it has an A certificate , I saw two kids being barred from seeing the film ) without any vulgarity

Verdict--okay to watch , if you are in a naughty mood

Chakravyuh (2012)

Story from the heart of uncharted India

[7/10 · 27 October 2012]

While newspapers and television blare out visions of ' India shining ' and people like me go to watch movies like Chakravyuh in posh multiplexes eating chicken sandwiches along with cappuccino coffee , there's a rebellion smoldering in the heart of rustic India....Its the cry of the havenots who are demanding their share of the pie which has been unjustly taken over by haves like me....

....And director Prakash Jha is the person fittingly capable of giving voice to this cry---for he among all the film makers of Bollywood is the one who knows the rustic heart of India too well , having filmed it brilliantly in films like Gangajal and Apaharan and many others....

.....And as the Naxalite rebels run amok in central India under their leader Rajan ( played by Manoj Bajpai ),police officer Adil Khan ( played by Arjun Rampal ) is posted in their area to try to curb the problem.... The reason for this---big industrialists have one more plan to loot the mineral resources of the rebels' region in the name of development ; but they cant do it unless the rebellion is crushed....

Arjun's maverick friend ( played by Abhay Deol ) has a brainwave that is all too familiar to Hindi cinema viewers who have watch the film Namakharam---he volunteers to become a Trojan horse among the rebels who will bring the Naxalite leader played by Manoj Bajpai into police custody.

But predictably ( especially to those who have watched Namakharam ) he develops a sympathy for the Naxalite cause when he sees the terrible conditions under which the people whom the Naxalites protect are living and the way they are being exploited by the rich....and he thinks he has begun to find love for a woman among them....

But he does not change sides until a terrible incident involving the woman he likes forces him to....

So does Arjun Rampal's plan to catch Manoj Bajpai succeed ?? And how will Abhay's decision to change sides affect their friendship ?? Go and watch the movie for that....

To those who have a yen for romance---Prakash Jha is at his best when he is showing the understated and never-to-be-fulfilled romance between Abhay and his love interest ( played by Anjali Patil ). Its a romance that springs up while playing with death together and is shown in subtle undercurrents rather than moments of passion or expression . And newcomer Anjali Patil puts up an authentic performance as the girl who joins the Naxalite rebellion to escape the lustfilled clutches of landlords---but only to tragically suffer the same fate that she wanted to escape....

And to those who have a tilt towards action---the action scenes are well executed too , with hordes of Naxalites and policemen attacking each other with a hailstorm of automatic rifle gunfire in several well crafted sequences....INSAS rifles , Kalashnikovs and self loading rifles fire in tandem with latest guns having laser dot markers....

But why does Arjun's wife Esha Gupta hang about half naked in sexy clothes in the middle of Naxalite country in a couple of scenes?? Does she think its a metropolis like Mumbai or Delhi ?? And do even Naxalite leaders have time to watch Item numbers by hotties like Sameera Reddy ?? In reality these was no need to bring such aspects of commercialism in the film .

Manoj Bajpai's role is not that big and he is his usual self but it is not his film really....The film belongs to Arjun Rampal and Abhay Deol but their acting cannot be called fantastic...Om Puri is just about okay....

These glitches should not take away from the commendable performance of the director who seems to have recovered from the debacle of his earlier film---Aarakshan .

Verdict---I would give it a thumbs up...

Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

time to bring the paranormal series to a close

[4/10 · 24 October 2012]

Welcome to the fourth edition of the ' paranormal activity ' series---as also the least entertaining of them....

Having said this , let me say that I have a weakness for horror films . So I did try to eke out my share of enjoyment from this movie---and I must say I did succeed due to my weakness for this genre of movies because of which I like all of them ; though the same can't be said about other people....you may not be particularly impressed by this version , especially after the expectations raised by the earlier parts of the movie series .

So instead of a hand held video camera this time the shooting is done by the laptop camera of an attractive blonde young girl---all of fifteen and a virgin to boot....exactly the kind of person needed by the ghosts in the movie to bring to fruition their plans....

.....And the ghosts move in as their neighbors , with the woman in them promptly falling sick---forcing the young girls parents to take care of her young male kid....

The fun , or whatever is there of it , starts after the neighbor's boy moves in---as predictably strange things begin to happen....predictable because if they didn't happen then what would be the fun in the movie....??

....And the neighbor's boy has apparently been sent with a plan---to bond with the younger brother of the girl who is an adopted kid ; and to bring him into the ghosts' macabre fold....

So the movie moves on with the jolts and shocks coming at the appropriate places---a chandelier crashing down just short of the girl , a knife mysteriously going up and falling down just short ( again !! ) of a person....

The first half is better than the second half as the movie creates increasing tension as to what is going to happen in the end....

But the second half seems to be stretched too long ( this inspite of the movie being short ) as the same repetitive jolts occur again in it....

We begin to wait for the movie to be finished....

.....And finish it does with the complete ruin of a once happy family--- those who are useless killed off and those useful co-opted by force into the ghosts cult.....basically the same kind of thing that happened in the earlier parts of the movie---so whats new anyway ?? nothing....

Hopefully the ghosts shall stop moving onto new people and new houses--- as the genre is now getting repetitive and boring and pointless....

verdict---worth about 2 stars out of 5

English Vinglish (2012)

Sridevis super comeback

[9/10 · 22 October 2012]

Beautiful actresses mature like old wine---they look better as age catches up with them . Just look at Hema Malini.....

But what about acting skills ?? Do they get better with time ?

THEY DO !!!....That is , if Sridevi's performance in this film is anything to go by....

......For not only she puts up a magnificent acting performance but it is she who holds the film together for a whole two and a quarter hours as she takes us through a range of emotions---first mild contempt at her lack of English speaking skills , then sympathy for her plight , then increasing pride at her bravura attempts to learn the language , then the sweet smell of romance ( aha !! )as she begins to bond with a guy and then adoration as you sit spellbound in the cinema hall watching her acting prowess......

She's the archetypal Maharashtrian Indian woman bound to tradition and family and old customs---to the point of having to bear unquestioningly the taunts from her pesky daughter who forever has a chip on her shoulder about her mom's English speaking skills---or her rather lack of them.....

But freedom comes in the land of the free....!!!

As she lands in New York for planning a wedding without her family she decides to learn English.....

Its time to meet new friends from different places across the globe--- whites , blacks , pakistanis , French and even gays.....

And its time to get attention of a Frenchman ( who else wouldn't leave even a married fortyish woman alone ) and its time to seek success.....

But her world---her family---is not far away.....ultimately an typical Indian woman cannot forget her roots her home and her hearth.....

But when they meet her again---do they meet a changed woman or not ??

I am not telling---go to the cinema hall and find out for yourself.....I did and with happy results....

The movie is full of politically correct messages---friendship between Indians and Pakistanis , beginnings of love between a white gay and and a black gay man....

Now which of the other yesteryears actresses are gonna make a comeback ??---I don't mind having wet dreams ( again !! ) of ladies I used to fantasise in tenth standard in school.....

Verdict---Nice , real nice .

Barfi! (2012)

beautiful movie

[9/10 · 20 October 2012]

We are the dream merchants---says the film industry.....

And in this film the director sells a fantastic dream of love---a story of love between a girl and a deaf and dumb guy.....not just a story of love , but of love fulfilled ; of the lovebirds getting locked in holy matrimony and living life till old age caring and sharing for each other ; of living life to the full in each others arms and dying on the same bed ; of sharing tears and laughter together till the end of their time on earth ;of holding each others hand and protecting each other.....all because they dared to follow the path led by their heart without question and without thinking.....

.....or have i talked too much already and played spoiler ??

maybe i have.....

but then right now i am under the spell of the film and decided to follow my heart just like the film asks us to.....and my heart wanted me to talk freely about the film....

If any film has been made to pass on the message to follow your heart without thinking of practicalities then this is it..... But actually so many films have been made saying the same thing..... The triumph of the director of this film lies in making the idea heartrendingly and eyeswettingly believable.....

As for those who let practical matters take precedence over matters of emotion---its loneliness for them.....as Ileana D'Cruz finds out.....

She is the one who loves the deaf and dumb guy ( played by Ranbir Kapoor ) first , but loses him as she listens to her mother who wants her to marry a rich and normal guy .

.......And Ranbir is everything but that....

He is the son of a chauffeur who is forever in motion.....forever running and jumping and falling and making faces and dancing---as if all this hyperactivity would make up for his defects....

But he has no money or future---and Ileana goes out of his world.... .....only to return years later as she finds out that the call of the heart was stronger than the pull of reality.....

But now Ranbir is involved in a complicated case of the kidnapping of an autistic girl ( played by priyanka chopra ) who is now no more....or is she ??

Now Ranbir and Ileana have the chance to live life again by getting together . But do their hearts beat together again just like they did 6 years ago ?? Or will somebody play spoiler ?? Go and find out by seeing the movie....

The acting honours go to both Ranbir and Priyanka Chopra---it was difficult pulling off the role of a deaf and dumb guy and autistic girl but both pull it off with aplomb.....Priyanka especially is in top form.....

The scenery of Darjeeling is well picturised as the story unfolds in convoluted flashbacks ; but the director does manage to tie up the lose ends together as the climax approaches.....the songs too are hummable.....but what remains etched in the mind is the moviemaker's call to follow your heart.....

As I walked out of the cinema hall I thought '' All this is stuff of dreams and fantasy . The real world is all about being practical ''......but the dreams wouldn't go--of finding true love ; of living without a care in the world in the arms of your beloved.....

Well , I told you these movie makers are dream merchants aren't they....and the director is the master of them all.....

Verdict---What a beautiful movie

James (2005)

good raw action

[7/10 · 19 October 2012]

Its not a masala film at all , but a straightforward action film with the Ram Gopal Verma touch--even though he is not the director .

Mohit Alhawat plays the hero with a deadpan expression in the film throughout.....and does not change expression at all , even in scenes which require some acting--and this is the film's biggest drawback . ......For a hero with an expressionless face can take a film only so far....

But the villain is terrific , with loose hanging hair and an uneven beard , looking like a wild dog on searching for his next meal , and showing all the expressions of a brute hunting for his prey....

And his prey is the supersexy Nisha Kothari , the bombshell of the town , who shashays in discoes with mouthwatering ease--only to come within the sights of the villain and his horde.....

The hero is without question the one who has to save the damsel in distress ,for its his job as a bouncer of the disc, and his prize for doing so is the love of a beautiful girl....

But the hero is new to town , and does not know that he has offended the mob that rules the city.....

.....And the mob now is searching for the young lovers....

The lovers elope to escape the clutches of the mob , but their pursuers are unrelenting , and literally send dogs to hound the young couple out....

As the howling dogs chase the lovers endlessly , and the mafia applies its endless resources to capture them and fulfill the lust of the villain ,its a love story that has to end in tragedy.....

.....But tragedy also brings out revenge that is destined to end the mob's rule over the metropolis.....

True to Ram Gopal Verma's style , the fights and the nastiness on the villains' faces are truly real.....

And the action is really really RAW.....

I liked one dialogue of the film--when the hero arrives from goa to take up the job as bouncer of the discotheque , the owner of the disc tells him '' those who think that India is a poor country , they haven't seen mumbai's nightlife . money flows here...''

I also liked the zany music that plays whenever the villain makes his entry.....anyway , whats that actor doing nowadays ?? haven't seen him lately.....

Verdict--good .

Housefull (2010)

not too bad in the end

[5/10 · 19 October 2012]

Sajid khan attempts directing a comedy film and succeeds upto a certain extent.

The first half of the film is rank bad ,and the attempts at humour are pathetic.

Akshay Kumar brings bad luck to everyone .......and walks with a sad face throughout the film.

The film tries to convert this into some funny situations and fails.

Example-- Akshay telling about his birth ,after which his father is diagnosed with cancer ,but it turns out to be diabetes ( ? ! ),so ,in happiness his mother gives him sweets ( or something like that ,i forgot ) ,due to which he dies due to hyperglycemia ( high sugar level ) !!

Are we really supposed to laugh at this ?

To make the situation more ' funny ' ,there is Ritesh Deshmukh ,a Marathi , who has married Lara Dutta , a Gujarati ,whose father Boman Irani refuses to keep relations with her for marrying against his wishes.

For this perfidy , the father's overweight mother beats him with a cane.

We are told that this happens daily

Akshay eventually lands up with Deepika Padukone whose name is Soundarya Bassapa Rao ,also called Sandy ........but Akshay calls her Saaaandy ( as in Saand )

But Akshay is now confronted with her older brother Arjun Rampal ,an ultra-tough ,sophisticated ,polished anti-terrorism officer ..........but he is called anna ( south Indian style )!!

So much for some part of the first half.......

The audience actually sarcastically clapped at the interval to show how much they ' liked ' all this .

The film actually picked up in the second half ,when there were some genuinely funny moments.......and some emotional ones too......

Jiah khan tries to give us the hots by exposing ( teeny weeny bikini and all ),but she is overweight ( though some people with peculiar tastes......sutradharji ,for example.......remember shilpa shirodkar ........ may find the bulging ramparts of her body sexciting ), and so is her father ( in the film ) Randheer Kapoor , who also looks sozzled.

Lara Dutta and Deepika expose too , and look good in some scenes.

Boman Irani is funny , as usual .

The situations in which he sees Akshay and Ritesh in ' compromising ' positions due to which he thinks that they are homos , are well developed ........though of course , they are inspired by the more famous Shah Rukh- Saif situations in ' Kal ho na ho '..........though those itself are inspired by the scenes acted out so memorably by Michail Caine in 'Blame in on Rio '.

The film being better in the second half , we come out of the theater feeling satisfied upto a certain extent.

This is in contrast to a film like ' Singh is king ' , which is good in the first half , but we have not-so-great impression of the film because it does not work in the second half.

This film should serve as a lesson to film-makers .....that if they don't have it within them to make both halves of a film good , then they would better make the second half better , so that the audience leaves satisfied !!