Lord_of_TERROR Reviews

Synecdoche, New York (2008)

Valuable in Ways

[8/10 · 6 January 2010]

This is what I took from the film... It's about artistic pursuits and artistic endeavours, how they are really just re-imagining, trying to find ever new ways to express what you, yourself, are feeling inside. Certain features also suggested that perhaps Kaufman was trying to say that why we become caught up in our art, and new art springs from it, we become so removed from life that ultimately everything in the world seems dreary and dead. With good acting throughout, it tries to cover in film form a lot of the tropes of Finnegans Wake, an open critique of modernism and pretension and a warning against the dangers of over indulging artists as if their production was the point of life. Because, as this film tries to show, art if a representation of life, that is less intense, emotionally, than the real thing. If we get lost in the art, if real life is lost, emotions become meaningless, they're just reactions, without depth or worth.

Star Trek (2009)

Utter Trash

[2/10 · 17 May 2009]

This film was god-awful. It made no sense, it's full of convenient lies, and you could have moved the whole thing to a train and it would have made no difference since the SCI-FI element was conveniently eked out. I know JJ Abrams is a bit of a tool but he seems to have the power to get big films made. Why then does he waste our time by not writing proper scripts, or explaining things, relying on trite clichés and special effects instead of story telling. I wish i'd injected my balls with food dye so i could come red matter, it would still be more interesting and meaningful than this piece of sphincter wax. SUNSHINE was better than this. Event Horizon Was Better than this. Bloody Robocop was better than this. It's 2009 and nine, i think we have the technology for a good script and good special effects. Maybe by hiring a writer instead of this TV hack.

Watchmen (2009)

Beyond the Pale

[9/10 · 7 March 2009]

The best thing i can say about this movie is that having watched it yesterday i woke up this morning, pondering on it, thinking about the scenes, the meaning, the message and the performances. And man some of them were just incredible. Top of the list Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach - he left me shuddering, not just with the mask off, but with the mask on. Much like the masked Hugo Weaving in V for Vendetta, the ability to completely capture a believable character using nuance of movement and voice staggered me. When the mask came off and the man beneath was revealed i shuddered, not least at the apex of the movie when he faced of against Dr Manhattan. I'm not kicking Heath Ledger when he's down but if he's set a precedent then Mr Haley should be due a statuette next Feb. Alas, you suspect it'll only happen if he perishes before then. Jeffrey Dean Morgan also deserves a big up - balancing an open, understandable humanity with some of the most despicable behaviour imaginable was no mean feat and was pulled off with aplomb. The dense, flash-back heavy story telling, especially those segments narrated by Manhattan with his uncaring, deadpan VO, added layer upon layer to this film. You're seeing the present as he does, another example of the past, a part of continuum. This is a deep, emotional, intelligent, challenging masked-hero movie that goes further than any other in it's depth and scope. I'm not guaranteeing you'll enjoy it, but at the very least you'll be left with thoughts and images that demand attention.

Wild Blood (2008)

A well made film with merit and dignity

[7/10 · 7 December 2008]

This was a well structured, well crafted film with excellent acting throughout even if it was, at times, somewhat overacted with Monica Belluci the main culprit. The spirit of this film is, I think, summed up by a wonderful scene where the Osvaldo and Luisa are hiding in the secret room of a country residence, all Ann Frank, with Osvaldo going through a sickening bout of withdrawal from morphine and cocaine. So bad is he, in fact, that as a peasant girl watches, Luisa reaches in to Osvaldo's pants and masturbates him to sleep before wiping her hand on the blanket and embracing the child, encouraging her to pursue love and iterating that it is a truly wonderful thing, even if the scene she's just witnessed is horrid. The girl goes on to get raped and murdered. You wouldn't get this in Hollywood. Though provoking, challenging, interesting, mobile.

The Van (1977)

Terrible

[2/10 · 19 May 2008]

This film was abysmal. and not in the good way as some have claimed. First off the main character is a very unattractive gingerman. Second - WTF is going on with this van love. The plot, basically, is: boy wants sex so buys a van (which, in fairness is quite cool). Unbelievably given that he looks like a newt he scores with lots of chicks! And he fails with some. Then he scores with a really hot chick and realises he loves this dowdy bird who played hard to get. Then he drag races with the hot chicks boyfriend. And he tips his van. At which point danny devito saves the day. Although he didn't need to because in tipping the van the ginger kid crossed the line first. I gave this 2 *'s as i'm willing to assume that there's some sort of 70's Vanning subculture i'm not getting and also because there's some 70's boobage too.

After Hours (I) (1985)

The Worst Scorcese Film I've Seen.

[4/10 · 20 April 2008]

This film isn't terrible. The plot isn't much, the acting is okay, the lighting, camera work and general mood is workmanlike, no disgrace. BUT The whole is weak, boring and ultimately pointless. The lingering feeling throughout the film is the sense of injustice, in being trapped in circumstances beyond your control, being forever dragged from pillar to post, the end obscured. But why? Because everyone he meets in the film is a little crazy, acts irrationally and seems to be out to spite him a little. There's no cohesion to it, no reason for all these people behaving so strangely except for some 'noo-yorkers are K-RAzy' concept which doesn't suffice for engendering any real tension. Also, the aim is an amusing little story but because of this constant need to try to create tension there are no laughs, just these odd blank spaces in the film where a laugh should be but which, instead, is a lightening of the more general mood. This is the worst Scorcese I've seen by some distance.

Queer Duck: The Movie (2006 Video)

And I thought Howard the Duck was the Height of Duck movie making!

[8/10 · 16 December 2007]

This was a funny film. Lots of gay jokes, lots of camp funny, some wicked double entendres, easy on the eye, fast paced, enjoyable. MOst of the time watching it I was thinking about other people i knew who would be laughing their asses off too, When you see a film called Queer Duck you can't go in to the experience expecting drama, plot, gritty realising or anything of the sort. It's not CSI. If the very concept of a queer duck doesn't make you smile then you probably won't like this film. Also, and as the maker says, this is a stereotype of homosexuality based on a pretty select demographic - middle aged fags the maker knows. No real plot but a lot of fun and some real laugh out loud moments.

Casino Royale (2006)

What the bloody hell was this?

[1/10 · 4 January 2007]

This film is terrible. The plot barely makes sense, Daniel Craig pouts far more than any human (let alone man) should, there's no good action scenes, the best sequence of the movie looks like an extended Volvo ad and the film has a 45 minute poker sequence in the middle that's no better than Celebrity Poker off the TV, except of course when i watch it on TV i don't know who's going to win. This film was a huge let down. It was hard to imagine that I would look back on the Pierce Brosnan days with fond memories but somehow the makers of this latest debacle have achieved it. But worst of all, worse than the wooden dialogue and bizarre attempt at love story, worse than all that was that there was not a single bad guy worth his salt in the whole movie. If the world doesn't have super villains it surely doesn't need super spies either.