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Le Mans 1955 (2018)
5/10
Stylish but distorted view
2 December 2019
This short animated film is a stylish, yet distorted presentation of what happened at the infamous "24 Hours of Le Mans" race of 1955.

The film starts well enough, but what threw my suspension of disbelief off was that in the film it had been dark for quite a while before The Thing That Makes This Race Infamous happens. Which in real life happened on 11th June 1955 at 6:26pm, three and a half hours before sunset, in full daylight. After this intentional distortion it was unfortunately impossible for me to concentrate on the actual story anymore. If they intentionally distort this simple fact, why would I care of the rest of it?

Could be worse, of course. At least they didn't add sad rain.

As it is, I'm still giving the film an average grade, a 5 that is. Without the distortion, it could easily have earned a 7 or 8 from me. Difficult to tell exactly after the magic was broken.
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8/10
Building A Worker's Paradise gone horribly wrong
29 November 2017
Ikitie (The Eternal Road) is a morbid film of a man's attempts to get back home, set against the backdrop of the untold story about 10,000 people who voluntarily moved from North America to the Soviet Union to build a worker's paradise, but who eventually learned the true face of Stalin's U.S.S.R.

It is 1931, and the Great Depression is on. Jussi Ketola has recently moved back to Finland from the United States with his family. He has bought a farm, and tends pretty much to himself. All is good and well until right wing extremists, who claim Jussi to be a communist, decide to practice their favourite pastime, namely kidnapping Jussi, driving him a few hundred kilometers to the Soviet border zone, then shooting him (though it might sound odd, these things actually happened in Finland during that tumultuous time). Except that they botch the shooting part and Jussi, heavily wounded, barely escapes across the border to the U.S.S.R.

When Jussi wakes up in a hospital in the Soviet Union, he is greeted by a Finnish police working for the Soviets who, instead of letting Jussi go home, summarily accuse him of being a spy. Unable to escape, Jussi is sent out to a collective farm. This kolkhoz has been built by Americans and Canadians, but mostly by Finnish immigrants who had first moved to North America, but then moved to the U.S.S.R. Their common goal is to build A Worker's Paradise. Jussi's task, on the other hand, is to inform on any suspicious activity. And it is here where the story really begins.

Ikitie tells its disturbing story at a laid-back pace. It is not boring by any means, but the scenes, particularly during the first half of the film, are given plenty time to breath. The same goes for the actors. They have both the space and time to act with nuances. Helped by this, acting flows naturally. People speak their native or common languages (Finnish, English, Russian) with appropriate dialects. Cinematography is lovely, particularly when playing with darkness of the night without crushing everything to black. Colours are perhaps ever-so-slightly muted but still realistic, and - thankfully - there are no teal-and-orange scenes to be seen.

As time goes by in the film, tension slowly but surely rises, right until the dramatic ending. Adding to the tension and pain is the knowledge that things that we see in Ikitie actually did take place on a large scale in Stalin's U.S.S.R. during the purges of the 1930's.

What can I say? I saw Ikitie today at our local theater with my mother and son, and it left us discussing for hours, about local and international history, the Great Depression, the Finnish right-wing extremist movement, Stalin's purges, all of it. If that is not a sign of an exceptionally impressive film, I don't know what is.

Judgment: Highly recommended, just don't expect a light-hearted comedy!
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Ski Patrol (1940)
3/10
Peculiar mix of right and wrong
8 December 2013
Ski Patrol is a weird Hollywood B-film recently found by a Finnish film enthusiast and shown on Finnish national TV for the first time today (2013-12-08). This hastily made flick tells its own version of the Finnish Winter War just a few months after the fact.

Ski Patrol is a peculiar mix of right and hilariously wrong. It starts in a village in the Finnish Alps (good luck finding that on any map!) where everyone gathers together in the village inn fully dressed in Middle European national costumes to socialize, to smoke long pipes, and to listen to the village band playing the Finnish national traditional instrument, the kantele. As its inhabitants the village naturally has both an Olympic skier and a Nobel peace prize winner.

All of this, including names like Paavo Luuki and Gustaf Nerkuu, is wrong on so many levels. Still, the people are presented in an empathetic way, so I don't know what to think of it.

There is, though, one surprisingly historically correct piece of information in the film. One of the main female characters is a member of the Lotta Svärd voluntary auxiliary paramilitary organization for women. This is probably the earliest feature film in any country mentioning the organization. How could they get that right when everything else is a bit so-and-so? But I digress.

After the introduction, the war starts soon enough with the full-scale attack of the Soviets against Finland and we get to meet a lot of different basic war-type characters - including the obligatory heroic American volunteer. Actually, the number and qualities of different characters is surprisingly large and good for such a short film, so even though the snow fighting scenes are more for effect than for sense, you actually get to understand a little bit of how the different personalities work. For a film that is only four minutes over an hour long, that's not too bad.

At the end of the day, though, the film falls flat because its story isn't compelling enough and the end plot twist is more than a bit cheesy. Still, for a hastily made job (the premiere was just two months after the end of the Winter War), and considering fact checking was perhaps not too high on the makers' priority list (little-known country and no Wikipedia), Ski Patrol is an interesting bit of curiosity - if not for others, perhaps at least for Finns and people interested in Finland. Don't expect anything to match facts, though.

I'll give this film a solid 3 or 4 for effort. More than that would be stretching it, even though I enjoyed watching it with my 9-year old son.
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3/10
Wallace and Gromit goes Silence of the Lambs
28 December 2008
"What?! A new Wallace and Gromit coming out, and in the traditional half-hour format? Wow! That's just grand! What's it called? A Matter of Loaf and DEATH?! Huh? That sounds a bit harsh..." These were my thoughts a few days ago when I heard that there was a new Wallace & Gromit film coming out. Fortunately our national broadcast company was among the first ones to show it. Now, after seeing the film, I must admit I am happy I put my four year old to bed to check it out by myself first. Unlike the first two adventures this short film wasn't suited for small children at all.

A Grand Day Out was a very nice and innocent piece of animation. What was lacking in finesse was offset by Nick Park trying really hard. The Wrong Trousers has more suspense and an excellent train scene, and it's a very good watch. This changed with A Close Shave. While a very good film, W&G was suddenly on the slippery slope of real death threat. The same goes for the Were-Rabbit feature film.

The thing that is different with the newest W&G offering is that it actually contains a visual murder right at the beginning of the film, and that the whole film is carried by themes of murder and psychopaths. To me this is simply tasteless. However nicely it may have been animated I can't bring myself to like A Matter of Loaf and Death.

Don't get me wrong. I do like animation films with dark themes, like Terkel in Trouble, Free Jimmy and Princess Mononoke. What I don't like is that Wallace and Gromit films are marketed at an audience of all ages while they clearly aren't suitable for the smallest children anymore. I bought the first two adventures on Laserdisc. Later I bought the three first adventures on DVD. I am not yet sure if I am going to even save this latest offering. A Matter of Loaf and Death is just not a cute little film, and if the target is to watch a psychopath killer story, I prefer The Silence of the Lambs any day.

(PS. I would really like to see the reasons why this isn't considered a useful review. Do you object with my opinion that W&G has become unnecessarily violent or do you just think that a psychopathic murderer is suitable program material for children if packaged in colourful animation?)
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Topralli (1966)
3/10
The film that is not a film
27 June 2008
According to what director-writer-star Yrjö Tähtelä said in a TV interview in 2008, Topralli is a film that is not a film. As someone who has just finished watching this.. hmm.. thing.. I can attest on his behalf.

Topralli has no plot to speak of. After finishing the film, I watched the introduction where they told me that the plot was about getting the rock­-pop band The Renegades to play at the 50-year party of The Record Company. This is actually more than I could figure out from the film itself.

Topralli was shot without a script, daily plan, or common sense. When a shooting day started, the pop stars turned actors didn't know whether they'd be dancing, singing or attempting to act that day. And believe me, the last part didn't really go well for all the stars. To make it worse, they had to dub all of their footage afterwards - most of it badly. There are many moments when lips move but nothing is heard and vice versa. If there ever was a "Creeping Terror meets MST3K" type Finnish film, this is it.

So, why didn't I rate this film as a 1? Well, there is one huge redeeming factor.

In Topralli you have a rare chance to see many Finnish pop stars just on the brink of future success. First and foremost there is Irwin Goodman who would break every sales record during the next 20 years with his melodic pop songs that never completely lost their protest thematics (his biggest hits being songs like Viuhahdus (Flashing), St Pauli ja Reeperbahn (St. Pauli and Reeperbahn) and Rentun Ruusu (Rose of the Scoundrel)). Songs are also given to Katri Helena, Carola and Eero and Jussi Raittinen, all of them big names in the late 1960's and some of them active even today. Small cameo roles are given to other significant national pop stars: Kirka Babitzin, Remu Aaltonen, as well as The Renegades from UK. Even Vexi Salmi, close friend and the creator of Irwin's lyrics, gets to show his face.

When I watched both the film and a short documentary with Yrjö Tähtelä, I couldn't escape the feeling that this was a tour de force for a young Vexi Salmi: first Vexi found Tähtelä at a time when Tähtelä wanted to make "the film that wouldn't be a film", then Vexi suggested that they should use pop stars instead of actors. And shrewd as Vexi is, he saw to it that his protégé, Irwin, got most songs and screen time of them all.

I don't really know whether I should recommend seeing this "film" or not. If you want to see an almost unrecognizably young Irwin Goodman long before drinking redid his face and voice, you won't be disappointed (this was my motivation for seeing it). If you want to spend a nice evening watching a good film, look elsewhere. Topralli has often been quoted as the worst Finnish film of all time, and even though I think that the star power alone is enough to not warrant it that status, you might disagree.
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Ijon Tichy: Raumpilot (2007–2011)
8/10
Psychedelic space adventures
20 September 2007
Poland has one big contribution to science fiction literature, and he is Stanislaw Lem. Most known for Solaris, Lem has also written many other standing contributions to science fiction: Indestructible, His Master's Voice and Cyberiad come to mind. And then there are the adventures of space pilot Ijon Tichy.

Lem's Ijon Tichy short story collection Star Diaries and full-length novels The Futurological Congress and Peace on Earth are good examples of sci-fi at its best: they are thought-provoking, clever, and most of the time brilliantly funny. You've really not read a time travel story before you get to meet more Ijon Tichys from different days than you can count, arguing and fighting over who has to do what to save himself/themselves from a time vortex. And schizophrenia pales aside an Ijon Tichy who finds his left side of the body battling the right side because his brain halves have been separated. Et cetera, et cetera.

"Ijon Tichy: Raumpilot" (Space Pilot Ijon Tichy) is a short TV series loosely based on Lem's original Ijon Tichy space adventures. All in all, the Ijon Tichy novels provide lots of good source material for a TV series. The good news is that all this insanity has been quite nicely transferred to the little screen with "Ijon Tichy: Raumpilot". Sure, there are many shortcuts as the episode length is only 15 minutes (and thats the bad news: not enough of it). On the other hand, the episodes are compact and the obviously low budget has been offset with extensive CGI usage, hilarious aliens, fast pace, and, perhaps above all, good direction and deadpan acting.

The only real problem as I am writing this is that it seems to be impossible to get one's hands on non-German language versions (I mean subtitled, not dubbed, which should be defined a crime against humanity). However, if you speak even tourist Deutsch, have a look at this series. You cannot lose more than a few euros and six times fifteen minutes of your time.

To the makers of this series: please make more. And subtitle it in at least English. If the quality remains, I promise to buy it all. You know as well as I do that The Stanislaw Lem Ijon Tichy Well(tm) isn't nearly dry yet.
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9/10
All you ever needed to know about women - and more!
17 September 2007
The world has Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and many other famous female wonders. However, years before them, in the late 1990's, Finland had Satu Lappi and her remarkably fair-headed friends. This documentary is the story of them.

Blondirundi introduces us Satu Lappi; an extrovert young lady who loves life and really believes that to get something you just have to want it badly enough. More narrow-minded people might say that you'd need things like talent if you want to start e.g. an acting career. But as Lappi says: "What? Of course you can act if you want to!" During the course of the documentary we see how she manages in a series of beauty contests called "Vuoden nainen 1997" (Woman of the Year 1997). In addition to Ms. Lappi, we also meet her friends Satu and Suski as well as contest organizers. We get a behind-the-scenes view of what skills are needed to organize such an event.

Ms. Lappi really has to be seen to be believed. Her views on life provided tabloids with cannon fodder for years until she finally seemed to get the point and disappeared from publicity. But not before she had been siliconized and Hustlered.

So what is this document about? Is it human stupidity? Or is the joke on us who buy tabloids and drool on the misfortunes of people who don't know better than to believe in that any publicity is good publicity? I really don't know. What I do know is that I've seen this film more than ten times with different audiences and it's a winner every single time.

Blondirundi and Ms. Lappi received a standing ovation at the Tampere film festival 1998. However, nowadays the availability of this documentary seems to be low; I don't know if it has ever been rerun since its first TV showing. I must thank my friend Markus who offered me a near-studio-quality copy for my 30th birthday along with the following aphorism: "This contains all you ever needed to know about women - and more!" If you ever get a chance to see Blondirundi with some friends, male or female, go for it. But I do recommend having alcohol nearby. You just might need it.
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6/10
Lapinlahden linnut misses a beat
26 March 2007
It was two years since the legendary "Maailman kahdeksan ihmettä" (Eight Wonders of the World, 1990) when Lapinlahden linnut presented us with a brand new sketch series, "Kuudesti laukeava" (The Six-Shooter).

"Kuudesti laukeava" starts with one of the strongest Lapinlahden linnut jokes ever. The previous series had ended with a disgruntled factory worker who melted completely after getting a medal and a handshake from his bosses. Incidentally, Finland's worst recession since wartime hit between these two series, resulting in 20% unemployment and other misery. So, this series begins with the bosses coming back at the whistling worker, claiming he is to blame for unemployment, the failing economy, the bank crisis, and whatnot. As a punishment they take away his medal and beat him to a pulp, after which he continues working just as disgruntled as two years ago! That's Lapinlahden linnut at their best and nastiest.

Despite the strong start, the series lacks punch as a whole. Jokes are often too long, particularly format sketches like the weekly Star Trek parody (funny idea, but repetition didn't help it). Another weakness is that they tried to create roles for beautiful young women they liked. And just as with Monty Python, the boys are ten times better playing women than real girls, or these ones at least.

There are occasional highlights in this series, too, but they are not as frequent as with the predecessor "Maailman kahdeksan ihmettä". So although "Kuudesti laukeava" is much funnier than the completely abysmal "Lapinlahden linnut!" (1995), it falls short of the genius of "Maailman kahdeksan ihmettä" and the good pace of its follow-up series "Lapinlahden linnut -show" (1993).

I'm giving "Kuudesti laukeava" a six out of ten because it still is above average, and the best sketches like "The friendly policeman" are truly funny. Too bad so much of this series is spent with lower quality material.
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9/10
Arguably the funniest Finnish entertainment series ever
22 March 2007
By 1990, two years after their first TV series "Seitsemän kuolemansyntiä" (Seven Deadly Sins, 1988), Lapinlahden linnut had certainly developed. Their long TV career peaked early with their second sketch series, "Maailman kahdeksan ihmettä" (Eight Wonders of the World, 1990).

Compared to their first attempt, "Maailman kahdeksan ihmettä" is much more even, with numerous hits and only occasional misses. It teaches you how to save your liquor money by showing how you can simulate getting drunk for pennies (required equipment: vodka bottle filled with water, grandmother's glasses, high heel shoes, kitty litter box, nasty neighbour Reiska); it shows how to make your neighbour envy you (equipment needed: satellite antenna, credit cards, black suit, limousine, invitation by The President, all made out of cardboard), and it teaches you how to handle social situations in its very own socio-drama series. And there is "Vittuilupuhelin". If you've seen it, you understand, and if you haven't there is no point in explaining. That joke alone justifies the whole series (and as an aside, such a service number was actually founded by the name of "Pottuilupuhelin" a few years after the series).

This series has lasted well, although there are some references to politicians and celebrities of the day. Nevertheless, problems with money, relationships and drinking have hardly changed in the 20 years since this series. Thus, I can't recommend these eight episodes enough - unless you like your humour soft and nice.
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6/10
An uneven, yet promising first for Lapinlahden linnut
22 March 2007
Lapinlahden linnut is perhaps the most significant modern Finnish comedy troupe. While the last years of their existence have been rather low-key, things were different in 1988. That year marked the first of their many TV series, "Seitsemän kuolemansyntiä" (The Seven Deadly Sins). Each of the seven episodes contains several short sketches as well as a longer story, which examines one of the deadly sins: what the sin is and how it manifests itself.

While some of the sketches haven't dated too well, and the sin stories are too long for my tastes, there are many jokes that just crack me up how many times I watch the series. A good example is an advertisement for the theme park "Tutti-Frutti-Maa" (Tutti Frutti Land) where you can do outrageous things like throw darts, pet a dog or even roll downhill in a barrel!

Still, this series is only a promise for better things to come, namely the follow-up series "Maailman kahdeksan ihmettä" (Eight Wonders of the World, 1990), arguably the funniest Finnish entertainment series ever.
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Nyhjää tyhjästä (1991–1992)
8/10
Finnish Whose Line Is It Anyway
27 February 2007
What would Finnish entertainment be without our favourite Briton, Neil Hardwick? He was Da Man for almost two decades, from the children's educational series "Hello Hello Hello" (1975) through highly original and funny entertainment series like "Tankki täyteen" (1978-1980), "Kielipuolipotilas" ("Dumb Show", 1978) and "Sisko ja sen veli" (1986) right to "Nyhjää tyhjästä" (direct translation: "Make Something out of Nothing", 1991).

"Nyhjää tyhjästä" is an improvisation show much like "Whose Line Is It Anyway". Not that they are completely similar, although I think Hardwick probably had seen some early episodes of the British variant. In the Finnish version the improvised stories and songs are much more hit and miss than in its Anglo American counterparts. Whether this is caused by the British/American actors being superior to their Finnish counterparts, or simply because the Finnish version isn't as carefully scripted in advance, I cannot tell. Nevertheless, when the performances click, they are superbly funny.

The cast list reads like a "Who Is Who" of Finnish actors with live talent. Although almost all performers are quite good, there are still some that stand apart, namely (and in this order) Ulla Tapaninen, Kari Heiskanen and Mikko Kivinen.

I find very few Finnish entertainment programs where I actually end up wiping laughter tears from my eyes. Still, I'm afraid that unless you understand the language, you probably wouldn't enjoy the show very much, even if it was subtitled in your own mother tongue. This series gets a strong 8 from me - only the occasional not-so-funny performances rob it from scoring even better.
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2/10
I am so tired of Spielberg
2 October 2005
Knowing that this will make it to the "0 out of 189 people found the following comment useful" category I will say this: I thought of giving Spielberg one more chance after the abysmal "A.I. Artificial Intelligence" where he destroyed the undisputed talents of Haley J. Osment. Boy was it a mistake to give him that chance.

It is not enough that the movie was a run-of-the-mill chase-the-good-guy movie which they've made since 1903. Nor was it that it had to last for two and a half hours with absolutely no reason. No, the worst thing was that it had the same crappy over-contrast no-subtleties look as the Saving Private Ryan or the otherwise potentially good Band of Brothers. Really, Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning, which was shot on PAL Digital Video cameras looked better than this zillion dollar turd.

And somehow, this story was supposed to be originally written by Philip K. Dick. They've hidden the original very well, even better than with Total Recall.

I made this promise in the late 1980's, but this time I'll keep it: I will never ever watch a Steven Spielberg movie again. Never. Ever. Vote me to hell, I don't care.
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8/10
Delightful low-budget scifi spoof with major movie production values
27 September 2005
Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning is (roughly) the seventh film in a series of Star Trek / science fiction spoof films, following the adventures of the space ship CPP Potkustartti. Released more than ten years after the first Star Wreck film - which was nothing more than a few minutes of simple hand drawn computer animation plus some school boy humour dubbed on top of it - In the Pirkinning is the culmination of the series. More than a five year mission, this film has been "almost ready" since the end of the last millennium, and is now finally shown to a delighted audience.

And what a film it is! It really can be seen that this is a labour of love. While the acting is at time painfully amateurish, and while the plot is a bit too simplistic towards the end, the humour combined with references to Star Trek and Babylon 5 should keep any science fiction TV fan happy for the duration. And even acting can be forgiven when you consider that the actor budget has been a very round number with only one zero.

The English and Swedish subtitles are very well done, particularly the latter one which manages to transfer a significant amount of finer Finnish language nuances. However the Swedish subs were not particularly well timed: Many of the longer lines started too early and disappeared too quickly to read.

The only real gripe I have about this film is the constant swearing. Don't take me wrong, I don't mind a naughty word or even a few. Swearing at appropriate places can be unbelievably funny. But when you swear at an average speed of twice a minute or so, it stops being funny and becomes simply annoying. This has always bugged me in the series, but as the English and Swedish subtitles have been toned down, most of the viewers would neither know nor be bothered.

Why would you want to see In the Pirkinning? To begin with, it may be (and probably is) the most expensive-looking film that has been made without professional funding. However, that's not the point. The film is also funny, well-paced for the most part, and sometimes even witty. It also has good re-watching value. And did I tell you it's free? You can download it from the official Star Wreck web site.

I strongly encourage you to see this film.
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Kielipuolipotilas (1978 TV Movie)
8/10
The language barrier
30 May 2005
Kielipuolipotilas / The Dumb Show is one of Neil Hardwicks lasting contributions to Finnish television. KPP is a story about a foreign diplomat who tries to help a fallen drunkard by bringing him to a hospital but because of a misunderstanding is taken in himself. The fun starts when he tries to explain his way out.

The point of the film is that although both the diplomat and the local people talk a lot, the former in a Slavic-sounding and the latter in a remarkably Finnish-like language, both languages are actually invented ones. Because of this it doesn't really matter what country you are from: you won't understand anything of what they say anyway - except for a few words you learn during the show.

This short film progresses slowly, perhaps even too slowly for some tastes, but for me it allows the main character to develop a deeper personality - as much as you can develop a personality in a silent movie. And, as in proper comedy, the situations for the poor diplomat grow more difficult as the story progresses. Although I cannot guarantee that you'll like Kielipuolipotilas, I'd still recommending giving it a try if you get the chance.

Trivia: When this short film was sent to the Eurovision entertainment program contest, Norwegians complained that they couldn't understand it because it wasn't properly subtitled.

Trivia: While watching Kielipuolipotilas, you may learn a few words of the made-up languages. Particularly, "tixis tixis", which supposedly means "thank you", is still sometimes used in Finland after more than 25 years after showing this short film.
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Rocky VI (1986)
10/10
Finns pretending to be Russians tell the last chapter of Rocky saga
25 May 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Many years before Sylvester Stallone and company even considered shooting Rocky V, Finnish director Aki Kaurismäki made a spoof of the Rocky films with the newly-founded Leningrad Cowboys (formerly known as Sleepy Sleepers). Thus was born Rocky VI.

Shot on sub-par black and white film, and title cards appearing in both Western and Cyrillic lettering, this short silent film had me smiling, giggling and laughing for 10 minutes straight when I saw it for the first time - and many times after. Based on the same premise as the utterly silly Rocky IV, we are again shown a boxing match between a Russian boxer Igor and his American counterpart, Rocky. But this time it is Rocky who uses the latest scientific advances (like riding an exercise bike) while Igor trains by drinking vodka, playing a balalaika with his fighting gloves on and laughing to bad jokes by his manager. While not going into spoiler-land regarding the actual fight, I may recommend this cold-war-era film to anyone with a somewhat black sense of humour. I am not of the persuasion to give every other film a 10 and every other a 1, but this simply is perfection in a very distinct style.

When this film was shown for the first time internationally on the long defunct pan-European satellite channel Music Box in June 1986, it was preceded by an interview section with the Leningrad Cowboys. While the interviewers tried to ask many questions ranging from what Leningrad Cowboys are to why they have made this film, the only answer given to them by their "interpreter" Matti Pellonpää was a repeated: "Kapitalishtishk. They don't like to hear questions like that."

Addendum 2008-02-11: Rocky VI is provided as an extra at least on the Nordic version of Leningrad Cowboys' Total Balalaika Show. For reasons I cannot fathom, the soundtrack has been rerecorded and the new version doesn't sync at all with the cutting of the film anymore. What a disappointment. Things done right the first time shouldn't be touched.

Addendum 2015-07-08: Rocky VI is also included as an extra feature on at least the European Blu-ray edition of the Leningrad Cowboys Go America (1989) movie; this time with the original, proper soundtrack. Yay!
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