darksyde-63508 Reviews

It Kills (2017)

Apparently the seventh time is the charm

[4/10 · 15 February 2018]

For this long running basement budget franchise. Youd think all these kids would get smart and stay away from this camp site after so many have either been murdered or gone missing over the years, but if they did, we wouldn't have much of a movie. While none of the actors in this series of movirs will ever even be close to winning and Oscar, the acting is better than average for the "camp blood" franchise, which has slowly improved from the fifth instalment on. And the clown from hells mask looks the best it has in years. As per usual for this franchise, the story is pretty basic, and the death scenes are pretty unconvincing, there are still some unconventional kills, like one with a road flare, and its still good for some cheap gore. You could spend a worse 70 minutes. But having said that, beware when watching the other six movies in the series. They tend to go from really bad to I can't believe this could get any worse but it did. So choose carefully

Bad Channels (1992 Video)

I usually like full moon movies but....

[3/10 · 14 February 2018]

This one isnt one of their best. For a Full Moon Productions movie, this one starts out extremely slow, almost like they were trying to play it straight for once, but it just doesn't work. Now, none of the actors in ANY movie from this production company are ever going to win Oscars, but the acting in this is worse than usual, and the special effects are pretty bad. Basically a prelude to the "Doll man" movies, its easy to see why there wasn't a million sequels to this, like most of the franchises in the Full Moon catalog. Skip this one and stick with Full Moons "classic" franchises such as "Killjoy", "Evil Bong" , and "Gingerdead Man"

Street Tales of Terror (2004)

Alright for a ripoff

[5/10 · 11 February 2018]

Remember "Tales From The Hood?" if not, it was basically a black version of "Tales From The Crypt" Remember "Snoop Doggs Hood Of Horrors"? Basically a ripoff of "Tales From The Hood" if you haven't seen either of these movies, don't worry. The makers of this movie have. This movie almost completely rips off "Tales from the hood" and also almost has the exact same wrap around story, but is different enough to keep it from going over the line of complete plagiarism, which it straddles uncomfortably close. But having said that, for a ripoff, its not a bad movie.

Ozark Sharks (2015 TV Movie)

Yep, another SYFY original sh*tacular

[2/10 · 1 February 2018]

Whenever you see a movie on tv that has "a SYFY original movie" in the beginning credits, you can guarantee youre gonna have a bad time. SYFY channels movies are famously, horribly bad, with horrible acting, even worse special effects, and terrible gore gags. This is no exception. Most of the time when you see the "sharks" their just rubber fins, and when they do close ups, its just stock footage of sharks. The acting is pretty bad, my favorite part being when a wife under reacts considerably to her husbands fingers being bitten off, and the same when a grand daughter watches a shark jump out of the eater and kill her grandmother . Definitely skip this one

American Satan (2017)

Better than I had expected

[6/10 · 1 February 2018]

While I had my reservations about this movie at first, since I am not a huge fan of Andy Biersac or his band Black Veil Brides, I have to say this movie turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would. A band just starting out moves to the Sunset strip, looking for fame and fortune . A rivalry band that the basisst was in before joining the resckless s constantly sabotages the band, until one night the band meets "The Devil" and talks them into performing a ritualistic "revenge killing" on a member of the rivalry band for international fame, and to save Andy Biersacks mom from terminal cancer. Soon, they all wish they never made the deal. Both Andy Biersack of BVB and Ben Bruce of Asking Alexandria are decent enough actors, and the tunes are decent enough. The story is a little generic though. But as I said before, it turned out to be better than I had expected

The Doll Master (2017)

I wanted to like this movie, I really did

[4/10 · 30 January 2018]

But, like the first "Annabelle" movie, it is WAY too long on talk, and way too short on killer doll chills. And plus, its way too much of a "Child's Play" ripoff for it's own good. But IF you wanna see a "Childs Play" ripoff that's actually creepy and delivers chills, check out the Mongolian horror flick "The Doll". Its MUCH better than this

Charlotte (III) (2017)

A horrible, HORRIBLE movie

[1/10 · 27 January 2018]

There are no words to describe just how horrible this movie truly is. Based on the art work, and the movie description alone,you'd think that it was another generic, possibly interesting killer doll movie. WRONG. A babysitter is tied up and forced to watch several vignettes on tv by a haunted doll. None of the short stories are any good and are all terribly acted. One wonders how the baby sitter was even subdued by the doll, since it looks like its about to fall apart, and since it watches the tv right next to her the entire time, why she just doesn't send it flying across the room. I felt like the baby sitter after I finished this movie. I wanted to kill myself. Avoid this one at all cost

Piggy (I) (2012)

Much better than I expected

[6/10 · 27 January 2018]

Although this movie starts out rather slowly, it turned out to be much better than I expected. A couriers brother, who he is very close to, is jumped, seriously injured, put in the hospital, and dies after being attacked by a group of punks one night. After the brothers funeral, the courier is approached by Piggy, who claims to be an old friend of his brothers. After Piggy gains his trust and confidence, they both go go out one night and stalk someone who Piggy says is one of his brothers killers, who Piggy assaults. Later on, it seems there is more going on with Piggy then first appeared, and the courier must figure out what to do. This is a good psychological thriller, and while it is slow going in the beginning, and bogs down again later on, it is worth a watch.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

Boring, boring boring. Did I mention boring?

[1/10 · 27 January 2018]

A "loose" (and very loose at that) remake of the 1970s movie of the same name, this is based on a series of murders that happened back in the 1940s in a small Texan town that left five dead. Sound good and exciting? It should be. But in this remake, its not. A lot of time is spent watching people talk and not really do much. I don't know why so many people gave this such high reviews. I guess they like their horror boring.

Camp Blood 5 (2016 Video)

Like following someone on a hike

[2/10 · 27 January 2018]

I'm a fan of killer clown movies, there's no doubt about that. I don't really know why, since a good majority of them are horrible,but I do enjoy them. The Camp Blood series, now seven movies in, has never been what im sure no one would call great, or even good,but it does have it moments. But this is probably the worst of the series. Picking up directly after the last movie ended, part five followers the sole survivor of the previous movie, Raven and......that's about it. We follow her as she stumbled around the woods, walking and stopping. If you're gonna watch any movie in this series, I'd suggest watching the first two, and MAYBE, if you can deal with it, Camp Blood 666. Otherwise, this franchise is complete sh**.

My Little Sister (2016)

Gender confused title, low grade slasher

[3/10 · 27 January 2018]

This movie starts put as what would appear to be just another "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" clone/ripoff, but quickly progresses into yet another stupid victims lost in the woods "Friday The 13th" ripoff, with a touch of "Wrong Turn" thrown in. And the killer of the title? Yeah, they aren't even female. Not the best of movies, the acting is what you'd expect, so no Oscar winners here. But thankfully, at 100 minutes long, it doesn't waste too much of your life that you'll never get back.

Puppet Master: Axis Termination (2017)

While this entry introduces new puppets, Maybe its time to put this series to rest

[4/10 · 22 January 2018]

The entries in this much beloved franchise have always been hit or miss, the whole "Axis" chapters, which have spanned over three full length movies, (and a webisode series, which this movie collects)has gotten a little dull, and the story is wearing thin. I mean, how many times can you keep sending the puppets after Nazis? The acting in this series has never been top notch Oscar winning stuff either, and with this, its not different. The acting is all over the place, hanging from terrible to just OK. The fight scenes also, specifically the ones involving the puppets, are pretty bad and silly looking as well. The horrible "Robert" series, which presently has three movies in it, ripped this whole story line off with "Robert and the toy maker" to better effect.

Killjoy's Psycho Circus (2016)

Weakest in the series

[4/10 · 22 January 2018]

I use to really enjoy the killjoy series. While not that particularly good, they are still plenty amusing. I had been looking for this, the fifth in the series, for awhile now, and finally found it on Prime Video. I early sat down to watch it and.....ended up slightly disappointed. Having finally made it to Earth, Killjoy is pretty much broke. Staring in his own show, "Psycho Circus" with Freakshow and Punchy, he has a doctor on the show that basically says he does t exist,even though hes sitting right in front of him, who he promptly executes. After a fake batty boop who replaces the old one after shes left killjoys posse appears on his show, the boys from eebys magical weed shop (which Full Moon fans will temember from the Evil Bong series) who sponsor Killjoys show tell him they want the original Batty back, the three good on a search for her. Meanwhile, Beazelbub, the judge in Hell that Killjoy escaped from in the previous movie, wants revenge and schemes to get him back in his grasps. This entry in the series has a lot more humor in it than the previous four did, and suffered a little from it. Trying to portray Killjoy as a disenfranchised working stiff doesn't really work. One of the best moments in the movie is when Killjoy inyerviews Trent Haaga, who has played Killjoy since the second movie, and plays him in this as well. This movie has its moments, but overall fails. Watch for cameos from characters in other full moon movies

Dredd (2012)

Not sure how to feel about this remake

[3/10 · 13 January 2018]

The first Judge Dress movie, with Sylvester Stallone, was kind of a joke, a b grade action movie, if you will. This remake, or reboot, or whatever you wanna call it, ups the stakes a little. To keep with the times, it is definitely a LOT more violent and gorier than the Stallone version, with people exploding, getting skinned and thrown out windows, and people getting shot rather graphically. The plot, even though there really isn't much of one, is pretty standard. Dredd and a rookie judge go after the head of a gang who is selling a new drug, and through hacking, the gang traps Dredd and the rookie inside the city . Lots of gunfire and blood ensues. If you like lots of action and gin fire with minimal plot, this ones for you. If not, avoid this.

47 Meters Down (2017)

Doesn't make you afraid to get back in the water

[2/10 · 13 January 2018]

From the previews alone, you would have expected this movie to have some bite (pardon the pun) or at least some suspense. But alas, it doesn't. Except for one suspenseful moment near the end of the film, this is kinda boring to sit thru. About half way thru the movie,I started hoping that at least one of the stupid, whiney bitches would get bit in half. What probably started out as a good idea on paper doesn't really transfer over well to the movie. With a bummer of an ending, you can probably find a better way to spend 90 minutes of your life. Watch "Jaws" instead.

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

Been there, done that, got the t shirt

[3/10 · 13 January 2018]

A rag tag bunch of marines from different teams join together to battle the aliens who have invaded California to steal the water from our oceans. The whole alien invasion genre has gotten old waaay before this movie reared its head. From Independence Day and its sequel, to Cloverfield, to Pacific Rim, to Battleship and a million others, theyre all pretty much the same. Introduce characters, insert a few dysfunctional ones, eveeuthings fine until aliens invade *insert city here* . Battles and destruction ensue, insert a few heroic deaths, the sense of defeat for the human race, insert a inspirational speech, then one final stand for mankind that ends with the aliens defeated. Ehhh. It all gets to be quite boring

Repo Men (2010)

rip off city

[2/10 · 13 January 2018]

Remember that horror/musical "Repo: The genetic opera"? No? Well apparently the makers of this movie did. Cause its a major rip off of the afore mentioned movie, except without the amusement or the singing. A "repo man" who's job it is to reposses the replacement organs of patients who fall behind on their payments begins to question his job.

The Video Dead (1987 Video)

Low budget so bad its good

[3/10 · 13 December 2017]

This movie got a lot of hate back in the day, and its really not that hard to see why. Its pretty bad. The story, while it sounds good on paper, doesn't translate well on screen. While its typical eighties low budget horror, which means there aren't any Oscar winners anywhere to be found , and the hairstyles and clothes are way out dated, its better than the majority of "acting" that you'd find from back then. The effects are so so, if pretty fake looking, with the exception of one of two decent looking zombies. Check it out if youre in the mood for some eighties midnight movie type fare.

Raving Maniacs (2005)

What "Return Of The Living Dead: Rave To The Grave" Should have been

[5/10 · 5 December 2017]

Coning off as a cross between "Demons" and "Return of the living dead", this is the movie that "return of the living dead: rave to the grave" should have been. And of it had been, that series might have been able to continue on, instead of screeching to a sudden half. Not to say that this movie is Oscar winning sh*t. The acting is pretty bad, and the makeup and effects are pretty hokey, but it is a winner compared to the before mentioned film

The Bunnyman Massacre (2014)

Even psychos have friends

[3/10 · 4 December 2017]

Based on a supposed "true event" that started the "Bunny man" urban legend in West Virginia, this second chapter is slightly better than the first, but still pretty bad. After blowing away a bus driver with a shotgun and laying waste to the children inside with a chainsaw , it is revealed that the bunny man has teamed up with another psychopath, kind of like Matt Cordell does in "Maniac Cop 2". As with the previous movie, the acting ability of the actors is next to non existent, but if you're looking for something to kill your time with and cant find anything better, give this a shot.

Bunnyman Vengeance (2017)

Third times a (final) charm, but still pretty bad and derivative

[5/10 · 4 December 2017]

While the first movie in this series was pretty bad in every sense of the word, the sequel was slightly better, but still pretty bad. But with this, the third and finally entry in this series based on the "true" urban legend of The Bunnyman, this is probably the best of the trophy, but is still a pretty incoherent, rambling piece of sh*t that manages to rip off "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "House of 1000 Corpses". This time, the Bunnyman involves his family in his bloody mayhem, when they open a haunted house. Once again, the acting skills of all the actors are pretty atrocious.

Hellbreeder (2004)

Not bad for a complete ripoff

[4/10 · 3 December 2017]

You're either gonna love or hate this movie. There's no in between. Whoever made this obviously loved both the book version and Tim Curry movie version of Stephen Kings "IT", coz this is almost a perfect complete rip off of it. Some of the characters and story have been changed, of course, to, I'm assuming, avoid copyright infringement laws, but minus those, its almost the same movie, and I doubt that poor Mr. King got paid a dime. There's a fine line between ripoff and homage. This movie is dangerously close to that line.

Circus Kane (2017)

Meh

[4/10 · 30 November 2017]

With a DVD cover that makes you think it would just be another rip off in the new wave of killer clown movies that appeared in the wake of the "IT" remake, this is really not what you'd expect. Coming off as the bastard child of "Saw" and Rob Zombies "31", this movie is extremely slow moving.all eight victims are extremely annoying and unlikeable, especially the fanboy store owner. There is very little in the way of gore, which you'd expect more of since as I said before, this is kind of a "Saw" rip off. And there are, what I am assuming are unintentionally hilarious moments, when the victims underreact considerably to the injuries and deaths that are happening right in front of them.

It (I) (2017)

One Of the better horror remakes

[8/10 · 29 November 2017]

I guess one of the most important things to think about when seeing this movie, and if you haven't yet, wtf, is to forget all you know about the original Tim Curry version, and about 70% of the book. When I first heard they were remaking this, I was excited and cautious, coz I mean, I grew up with Tim Curry being Pennywise,and didn't think Bill Skarsgaard could fill his (clown) shoes. And while many prefer skarsgaards cock eyed Pennywise, I still prefer Curry's version. There are quite a few changes in this remake. To make the story more modern, it now takes place in the late 80's, instead of the 50's like the book and original version did. There are also a lot of parts that were in the book that are in this version, where they were left put in the time curry version. But all in all, this is a high mark in horror movie remakes. It is also the highest grossing horror movie in recent times. My only gripe about it, is that they placed a lot of humor in this, especially between Eddie and Stan, and this often distracts from the horror of everything that's going on.

The New York Ripper (1982)

Donald Duck snaps and goes on a slashing spree

[4/10 · 9 November 2017]

Not really. But this movie does feature a killer who, for some reason that is never really explained, enjoys talking like Donald Duck. Such is the weirdness that comes with this Italian Galeio film. One of the weirder and less coherent of Lucio Fulci's masterpiece, this still has plenty of the expected gore, but for a Fulci film, its pretty restrained in this. Personally, this isn't one of my favorite of his movies, but it does have its moments, some of it unintentionaly hilarious, like the aforementioned killers Donald duck voice.