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Spawn (1997)
Just Terrible
Spawn is terrible. The acting, the writing, and the CGI. It is all just terrible. This movie was so bad it made me mad while watching it. It is just plain bad. No matter what big budget this "horror" film had it still look terrible. It realizes heavy on terrible special effects. It is not at all impressive no matter if you ignore the genre its failing to be in. Where the movie first falls apart is in its dumb story line. The special effects make it worse as they look model-shop cheesy, as if they'd been created using a handful of action figures and MacPaint, and the rest of the picture has the flat visual finish and phoned-in performances of a TV movie.
Assassin's Creed (2016)
The Most Boring Movie ever made.
A film that is based on an exciting video game which entire purpose is doing stealth and cool assassinations, yet it is the most boring thing you could ever watch. This film looks fine and is acted fine with qualified actor to give good performances, yet the only thing this film is good for, is to put you sleep in the middle of the day. Seriously only watch this film if you are trying to take a mid day nap. Otherwise you will greatly be disappointed. Anybody who desired a squeal from this film need to be put into a asylum. At the end of the day The film ends up with both blurry action that often looks digitally faked and a fractious plot that's stuck over-explaining itself.
Troll 2 (1990)
Just Bad.
A film that has really nothing to do with trolls. A sequel that has really nothing to do with the original. It is bad. No given it does have some memeable moments in the film but it is not good. It has nothing to offer for people looking to watch a movie with any quality. It does have something for people willing to watch a bad movie and make fun of it with their friends as they finish a LARGE bottle of whisky. If sober and alone stay as far as way as possible because the film will just make you angry with how stupid it is. If you just want to catch the highlights of film watch the documentary based on the film.
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
A franchise that didn't needed a sequel decided to drive itself into the ground.
A franchise that didn't needed a sequel decided to drive itself into the ground. Their was no reason for a Jaws 2 or a Jaws 3 but even after people did like either of those films they decided to give it one more chance with the dumbest plot ever. A shark that is seeking revenge on someone that didn't even kill it. Jaws the Revenge is not simply a bad movie, but also a stupid and incompetent one. Angry fish travels to the Bahamas for the Christmas holidays, plotting revenge against the family of a vacationing New England widow. Significantly worse than the rest of the series, this film is one of the worst flops in cinema history. When the predictable ending comes, it has none of the titanic man-versus-beast struggle of the original. It all happens so quickly, you wonder if you've missed something. But, no you haven't.
Captain America (1990)
This is what Marvel use to be. Never forget.
This is what Marvel use to be, Never forget. Back when marvel was selling their properties to any studio will to write any type of check. They were making this. A movie's that were terrible. Movie that look terrible, acted terribly, and written terribly. The film has nothing going for it unless you have a couple of drink are down to make fun of captain america, or if you want to admire how fare marvel and the superhero genre has come for this pile of garbage. Unless the Steve Rodgers in the MCU this film captain america give the audience nothing to cheer about when the hero is cheerless and apathetic.
Caddyshack II (1988)
Sets the standard for how bad comedy sequels can be.
Like the majority of people of love the original Caddyshack. Then years after seeing the original I found out their was a sequel and was excited until about 10 minutes into the film when i realize I was in a complete and utter dumpster fire. It's shoddy, lazy and numbingly stupid. The film features someone who walks like Jackie Mason, talks like Jackie Mason, does everything except make people laugh like Jackie Mason. Caddyshack II, is lamer than a duck with bunions, and dumber than grubs. It's patronizing and clumsily manipulative, and top banana Jackie Mason is upstaged by the gopher puppet. Do not watch just go watch the original again and you will thank me later.
The Room (2003)
A So bad its good movie that is just bad.
This movie is sooooo bad that it makes no sense. This make the fewer ask why and why and why over and over and over again because none of this film makes sense. Not one single second makes sense. This inept 2003 melodrama has become cult favorite. As someone who's watched more bad movies than you can imagine, I'm mostly immune to the so-bad-it's-good aesthetic, though I can see how, viewed in a theater at midnight after a few drinks, this might conjure up its own hilariously demented reality. That the think about this film. It can only be enjoyable if you are drunk with other people who are drunk in on the joke. Other then that their no way you could possible enjoy this film.
Elektra (2005)
Worst Superhero Movie of All Time
This film is the worst Superhero Movie of All time worst then cheap campy superhero movie of the 1990 or the bad franchise ending films of 2010's. Everything about this film is just plain bad. It has no redeeming qualities. Elektra was an average character in another bad superhero flick in Daredevil. Without a viable screenplay, there's nowhere for the character to go, and no way to avoid making her look silly. This movie was a dumb sip off of a bad movie in which the Elektra is killed in daredevil. The film should have simply never been made. The Devotees of awful film making can't go wrong with this one. What it suffers from most is the sense of offhand storytelling that lies halfway between creative laziness and cost-cutting sloppiness. A plain and awful film.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Bad and just so boring
This movie is just bad. Not so bad its good but just bad because it is so boring. The only thing entertaining is that CGI is all time bad but last one scene and then you just don't care. Birdemic has been noted for its poor quality, with reviewers calling out its wooden acting and dialogue, amateurish sound and editing, nonsensical plot and its special effects, consisting entirely of poorly rendered CGI eagles and vultures that, in addition to performing physically awkward aerial maneuvers (non-animated bird sprites in the background will simply rotate 360° in mid-air), spit acid and explode with unrealistic smoke upon impact with the ground with a plane dive sound effect. It has also been noted that the birds do not appear until nearly halfway (47 minutes) into the film.
The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
Amazing this didnt kill star wars that is how bad it is.
This is about as bad as film with a great ip can possible get. Everything single decision that went into this film is absolutely insane. Here's what you have to do in order to survive The Star Wars Holiday Special: Don't watch it. If you must, then 1) Have alcohol or some other inebriating substance close to hand - a rock to bang against your skull will do in a pinch. And 2) Remember that your tender 10-year-old self probably witnessed this atrocity the one time it aired on TV to unsuspecting, nay, eager audiences, and suffered such psychological trauma that your brain blocked off the memory in order to spare you further harm; know that you may suddenly experience violent flashbacks to Christmas 1978 as that mental wound is viciously reopened.
Foodfight! (2012)
The films feels like a unfinished movie so one is trying to get money to finish.
Their no way this was anyone vision. Once I was about two-thirds of the way through this movie, I started drinking vodka straight from the bottle and my notes after that contain nothing but "stop this" written over and over in an unsteady hand. The plot is dumb and terrible, the only thing worse is the design of the world and characters. It feels like your watching something that is not finished. I think my thoughts on this movie can be best summed up by a note I wrote roughly around the time when the titular "food fight" started: "I care nothing for these characters". The only way this film could have been saved is if it had never existed. The only way the film could be improved from the broken state it's in is if it were shorter, so reviewers like me had their suffering shortened. I literally would not wish this film on my worst enemy. Watch at your own risk, and keep any sharp objects or firearms far, far away, lest you commit suicide rather than continue watching. I'm a professional at movies like this; do not try at home. For the love of whatever you consider holy, do not watch this movie.
Disaster Movie (2008)
This films ruined the parody genre
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer single handily killed the parody comedy genre. A genre that has created great films like Spaceballs and Scary Movie. This film decides to take a bold strategy, in that it decided to never not once be even a little bit funny. Lazy, superficially and utterly forgettable. Seldom has a pic been more appropriately titled than Disaster Movie, yet another frantically unfunny free-form farce. The fun fact is that the real disaster movies have more laughs than this spoof. This movie begs the question why would you watch a bad movie about better movies, when you could just rent the originals instead? This film is the least unfunny movie of all time.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
The Worst movie I have ever seen
This movie has no redeeming qualities. Everything one could look to for a movie to get enjoyment in, this movie fails. It is bad in every possible aspect. Harold P. Warren's tattered vision for an exploitation endeavor provided ideal fodder for comic riffing, instantly making it one of their finest episodes. However, jokes are no longer attached to the new Blu-ray edition of "Manos," which presents the effort in its initial state, trying to reclaim the no-budget charms of the production on its own terms, without ace comedians making the viewing experience passable. It's a dangerous, sobering proposition, but there's something intriguing about the distraction-free picture, revealing Warren's ambition to make junk food cinema through hasty experimentation. This very well may be one of the worst movies ever made, but here, on the Blu-ray, the viewer is now free to study what was originally intended and, in some cases, actually achieved. Do not watch under any circumstances.
Baby Driver (2017)
The Best use of music in a film
The best use of music in a film sense Guardians of the Galaxy. No Hollywood suit and no die hard fan could have had the foresight to picture something like this, namely because nobody but Wright had any idea what this was supposed to be. This is something that's been brewing inside his head for over two decades, and that unquestionable dedication, confidence, and passion fuels each and every scene of Baby Driver. The mechanisms at work in Baby Driver, while calibrated with hair's-breadth precision, are nothing new. Here's what is: the sheer glee with which the film prods around in its own clockwork to show you what spins what. A fantastic film that you will want to watch more then once.
Rocky (1976)
The only sports movie to launch a franchise for a reason
On paper, neither character may seem terribly appealing, but on the screen they steal your heart away. Not only did that last reel include some of the most wildly exciting fight footage ever put on the screen, but it also provided an emotionally gratifying capstone to a picture that is truly an ode to the human spirit. The scenes before the fight set us up for it so completely, so emotionally, that when it's over we've had it. We're drained it a good way. The basic story line has been done to death over the years but this is still the most effective and successful applications of the formula. This is because Rocky is compassionate, interesting, even heroic.
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
The Best Dramatic Comedies
A touch too long, yet never slack, at three hours, Wolf of Wall Street benefits from independent funding, Scorsese's brass balls and an A-grade cast's turbulent improvisations to emerge as an epic, boldly broad screwball comedy about the state of America, then and now. As hot and wet as freshly butchered meat: every second, every frame of its three-hour running time is virile with a lifetime's accumulated genius. As an sensory experience, Wolf of Wall Street is mostly a terrifically visceral one, a full throttle fast and furious bacchanalia of drug-fueled madness. But as a scathing indictment of American rapacity, it isn't particularly deep or resonant beyond the exterior. This three hours master piece of a movie about a convicted stock swindler, can not get more compelling than Martin Scorsese's handsome, sporadically amusing and admittedly never boring film.
Gladiator (2000)
The Greatest Sword and Sandal Film
This film is the best the Sword and Sandal genre have to offer. This is because it has the best Ridley Scott and. Russell Crowe have to offer. Which is saying something will the filmography which both have to offer. It's a stunning Roman triumph. What matters for today's hero is the good fight, and Gladiator KOs us with a dozy. An exhilarating, sweeping epic that begs to be seen on the largest possible screen. This film is like an athlete in his prime with all strength and little to no weaknesses. Everything it does is almost show stopping. It's a loud, enterting, and is everything its hoping to be with the soaring tale of one man's struggle to overcome and empire.
The Hateful Eight (2015)
Best Modern Western
Tarantino has created another breathtakingly stylish and clever film, a Jacobean western, intimate yet somehow weirdly colossal, once again releasing his own kind of unwholesome crazy-funny-violent nitrogenous oxide into the cinema auditorium for us all to inhale. The movie absolutely delivers on the sheer moment-to-moment pleasures fans have come to expect, from dynamite dialogue to powder-keg confrontations. Those willing to put in the time will find a movie that is both beautiful and hideous, funny and shocking, and even thoughtful on occasion. The Hateful Eight balances the perfect amount of ideas. Set almost entirely in a snowed-in saloon, the story's pefectly fit it's running time and its use of 70mm projection. It's narrative and visually almost perfect if not perfect.
The Prestige (2006)
Nolan most underrated film plus possible the greatest twist in movie history.
Nolan absolutes kill it in this film which is not talk about nearly enough. Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson deliver all time performances. Unlike other movie with a good twist this movie would still be a classic with out the final twist. Director Nolan hits it out of the park. This Nolan project's is way more then a gimmick and is one of the most underrated films. Any audiences will enjoy this cinematic sleight of hand, plus the key characters are not just single-minded, calculating individuals and bring the film the real heart of the tale. The casting is perfect and the plot is even better. The credits that dismissed this film should really have their criteria check before the review another movie.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
This is everything a animated comic book movie can be.
Their are so many reason why this movie should work. This movie should suck but just like steering into the swerve it somehow work despite common logic, and thank god for it. It's incredibly thrilling to watch, impressively emotional throughout, and easily the best Spider-Man movie. It delivers a dynamic visual experience unlike any other animated film has or could. It's a slightly insane, hilariously daring and often touching mashup of everything that makes super-flicks so darn popular with the introduction of a Spider-Man who's ready-made for today's generation of kids. This film is the definition of a modern classic.
Remember the Titans (2000)
The Greatest a Sports movie has to offer
This movie shows how sports can be the greatest thing in the world. The film shows how a football team can change the views of race to a community. The ball in any game does not care about race. This movie proves this point and is uplifting to anyone with a heart. People who hate this movie hate the idea of people coming together to accomplish a singular goal. This film and makes History and shows how people should react. The only people who are offend by these people are true raciest or people who want to be offend by anything and do not actually believe in the progress and positive race relations and are the true evil we must get ride of.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
The greatest adventure movie of all time
Their is no way to top searching for the holy grail. Well unless you have Harrison Ford and Sean Connery the ones searching for it. Plus you add. Steven Spielberg directing the whole thing. This film is combination of the perfect story plus the perfect son and father relationship plus the perfect director. Their is no way this film did not turn out to be a 10 out of 10. It's a beautiful machine, thought out and revved up to the last detail, with no other purpose but to delight. The Harrison Ford-Sean Connery father-and-son team gives Last Crusade unexpected emotional depth, reminding us that real film magic is not in special effects. The action is simply exhilarating, and has the leaping precision that Spielberg gave us in the past. The joyous sureness is absolutely perfect.
Die Hard (1988)
Spawns the greatest every man hero.
Not only is this an incredible action movie but it is so incredible that people even try to argue day and night that it is a Christmas movie because of one ho ho ho reference. Not only is it a thrill-a-minute ride, but it has one of the best film villains in recent memory, a hero everyone can relate to, dialogue that crackles with wit, and a lot of very impressive pyrotechnics. The result is a foot-stomping. A fire powered, blood-drenched action picture that doesn't let up. Slick, glossy, overblown, implausible. Has to be the most excessive film around. It piles every known element of the action genre onto the flimsy story.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
The Greatest pure comedy.
No movie has even has or will even be as funny as Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Mostly because no film will ever commit to comedy as Monty Python and the Holy Grail has. Need and example well the third act end not in special but in a running joke that most people wouldn't give a second though. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is British humor at its absolute best. What we have here is an historical document of inestimable value, describing in no uncertain terms the terrible and beautiful times before AIDS. It's still the Holy Grail of crazy comedy. Nobody ever placed brilliance in the service of silliness quite the way the Python gang did. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is stuffed with both. The best you can ask from a pure comedy.
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
The Best a francise movie can offer
This movie nails everything a franchise movie can offer. If gives you great moments for anybody and everybody favorite charters while also creating stakes for those charters. Even though you know in the back of your head that they will bring everybody back to life in the next movie. This film still dares to kill people favorite charters which no franchise has or every will try to repeat. Using the strength of its powerful and interesting villain to set the stakes higher than ever, Avengers: Infinity War successfully brings together the past 10 years of Marvel movies into a largely effective cocktail of super-heroic dramatics. A movie that will never be seen again. First by no studio will go threw the pain of create such a brand and a studio will never be as brave to kill as many popular character as this film was able to pull off.