Film critics (and aspiring amateur pretenders) never cease to amaze me. They love nothing more than laying into "dumb" Hollywood productions for a lack of plausibility yet consistently let foreign productions off the hook for the very same mistakes. Many called this quiet little Swedish film a masterpiece. You have got to be kidding me? Let me see now, if this was a Michael Bay production do you think they'd overlook these corkers? Read on.....
Eli has a guardian figure who murders innocents and collects their blood. You get the impression Eli and him have been around for quite some time. This moron decides to abduct and murder a young man yards from a main road. His attempts to extract blood consist of a funnel and a makeshift bucket. It's so idiotic it's embarrassing. Naturally he's spotted and has to bolt. We then see him sitting on a train holding his waterproofs which are splattered with blood. In full view of everyone. Unbelievable. This clown wouldn't last a week in this line of work.
It gets worse. This same philistine decides to try again. This time in a SCHOOL. Yup, you read that right. He hangs a lad upside down in the changing room, primed for throat slitting, bucket at the ready. He doesn't even gag the boy. What happens? The boy has friends waiting for him outside and he starts SHOUTING for help. Mr Murderer really is as dumb as they come right? This time he's cornered. Solution? Pours acid on his face so the police won't recognise him and garner a lead to Eli! Hahaha. Masterpiece right?!!
Not only that, if you're going to murder people for blood why not just let Eli feed there and then? Why wander around with waterproofs, funnels and buckets when she can just come along??! It's so dumb it hurts.
There's more. There are dead bodies dropping left and centre. We even have a man witness Eli maul his friend. Yet there is no discernible police investigation, no one reports anything to anyone. The stupidity of every character is mind boggling.
A local woman is attacked and infected by Eli. She survives but is now a vampire. She and her husband both know full well who attacked her. The young, creepy looking girl who stays just over there! Yet they tell no one. She's never interviewed and her husband doesn't crack a light to anyone. He has his own little revenge mission which also ends in complete and utter farce. No surprise there.
Oskar's relationship with his dad is never fleshed out and has absolutely no bearing on the film at all. Why was it even in there? Another mystery not explained.
We see Oskar at the end heading to pastures new with Eli in a box. Haha, another belter. I'm sure his mum was happy to just let her 12 year old boy leave home, no questions asked. Perhaps he's fled of his own accord? On a PUBLIC train! One call to the authorities and he'd be picked up at the very next station. It's so stupid it's borderline offensive.
I could go on, really I could. Here we have a film where the characters commit the same cardinal sins which normally have critics rolling their eyes in disdain. Yet they turned a blind eye this time. Don't be fooled. This is not a masterpiece in a million years.
Eli has a guardian figure who murders innocents and collects their blood. You get the impression Eli and him have been around for quite some time. This moron decides to abduct and murder a young man yards from a main road. His attempts to extract blood consist of a funnel and a makeshift bucket. It's so idiotic it's embarrassing. Naturally he's spotted and has to bolt. We then see him sitting on a train holding his waterproofs which are splattered with blood. In full view of everyone. Unbelievable. This clown wouldn't last a week in this line of work.
It gets worse. This same philistine decides to try again. This time in a SCHOOL. Yup, you read that right. He hangs a lad upside down in the changing room, primed for throat slitting, bucket at the ready. He doesn't even gag the boy. What happens? The boy has friends waiting for him outside and he starts SHOUTING for help. Mr Murderer really is as dumb as they come right? This time he's cornered. Solution? Pours acid on his face so the police won't recognise him and garner a lead to Eli! Hahaha. Masterpiece right?!!
Not only that, if you're going to murder people for blood why not just let Eli feed there and then? Why wander around with waterproofs, funnels and buckets when she can just come along??! It's so dumb it hurts.
There's more. There are dead bodies dropping left and centre. We even have a man witness Eli maul his friend. Yet there is no discernible police investigation, no one reports anything to anyone. The stupidity of every character is mind boggling.
A local woman is attacked and infected by Eli. She survives but is now a vampire. She and her husband both know full well who attacked her. The young, creepy looking girl who stays just over there! Yet they tell no one. She's never interviewed and her husband doesn't crack a light to anyone. He has his own little revenge mission which also ends in complete and utter farce. No surprise there.
Oskar's relationship with his dad is never fleshed out and has absolutely no bearing on the film at all. Why was it even in there? Another mystery not explained.
We see Oskar at the end heading to pastures new with Eli in a box. Haha, another belter. I'm sure his mum was happy to just let her 12 year old boy leave home, no questions asked. Perhaps he's fled of his own accord? On a PUBLIC train! One call to the authorities and he'd be picked up at the very next station. It's so stupid it's borderline offensive.
I could go on, really I could. Here we have a film where the characters commit the same cardinal sins which normally have critics rolling their eyes in disdain. Yet they turned a blind eye this time. Don't be fooled. This is not a masterpiece in a million years.