Stitches (I) (2012) User Reviews

Surprisingly good.

[sylph_uscm · 5/10 · 31 October 2012]

I went to the cinema to see 'Sinister', but it was full, so we went and saw Stitches instead. I'm so glad we did! This film was classic! I expected a horror, but I wasn't at all prepared for how much it'd make me smile. Ross does a brilliant job bringing his character to life, and the story and kids wrapped around the concept are just tacky enough to reek of stereotype, but just different enough to keep you entertained and smiling (such as Bulger doing the splits at the gym, or the 'bully' actually being the only character in a stable, functional relationship).

Brilliant film, a lovely surprise to what would have otherwise been a disappointing evening!

Not so Frightening but funny!

[hitchinlist · 7/10 · 11 October 2012]

I love Ross Noble! So we jumped at the chance to see this as the closing film to Grimmfest this year! Im very glad i did! Stitches is a very funny take on the slasher genre, using comedy and horror combined, it reminded me of the latter Elm Street movies, where the villain has to use a comic gag to kill his victim! Ross noble seemed to revel in the role and proving to be a very convincing killer clown! He even went onto say in the Q & A about wanting sequels made, do we have a British Jason/Freddy in our midst! Maybe with a bit more budget and a stronger supporting cast and a little better writing, Stitches could become the UKs' very own slasher icon!

A noble effort at comedy/horror

[bowmanblue · 7/10 · 8 March 2015]

I watched 'Stitches' mainly because, as well as loving horror, I'm also a big Ross Noble fan and was interested to see how his stand-up would transfer to acting. To be fair, he doesn't have much to do in the way of acting.

His 'unconventional' (sorry, Ross) looks make it easy for the make-up department to transform him into an evil, undead clown, hell-bent on seeking bloodthirsty revenge on the party of children who caused his death in the first place.

In short, Ross Noble steals every scene he's in. Sadly, he's not in it enough. He doesn't really come into it (proper) until midway through and, by then, you've been forced to watch your usual 'teen drama.' As this is a British film, I was hoping for something a little more original than 'uber-geek falls in love with beautiful girl who just so happens to be going out with an arrogant jock.' Sadly, that's all we get. All the (non undead clown) characters are total stereotypes. You'll know exactly who'll die the moment you see them.

And die they do. That's where the film excels. I'm guessing it had quite a small budget, but it really makes the most of the gore. Some of the death scenes are truly disgusting (and hilarious in their over-the-topness).

Stitches is worth watching if you like horror and Ross Noble. He provides all the comedy and gore which will satisfy you. However, sadly the film can never truly be a classic, as the first half is pretty bland and the second half is only ever really alive when the (dead) Ross Nobel is on-screen.

It's a good film that's (sadly) wrapped up in the oldest movie cliché going.

Reminiscent of old school Peter Jackson

[The_Dead_See · 6/10 · 1 March 2014]

If Peter Jackson had been from Ireland instead of New Zealand, Stitches is the movie he might have made first in place of Bad Taste. It's got the same dark humor, most of which falls flat but some of which hits the spot. There's the same gleeful gore, okay perhaps not quite as much as Bad Taste but close. The deaths are inventive and entertaining and the whole movie would have been improved by better editing, a better score and a bigger budget, just like Bad Taste.

The plot is basic slasher fare. Two parts Friday 13th part VI, One Part Nightmare on Elm Street, One part Stephen King's IT, but a dash of it's own originality thrown in as well. It's let down a little by some really odd pacing and editing choices that slow down the action where it should be building up. If you've seen enough low budget indies you'll probably know what I'm talking about, it's a fairly common amateur film problem.

Still, it's a damn good try and it's heart is in the right place. Regular folks will sit through this very bemused, or more likely turn it off after the first half hour, but horror aficionados will be at least entertained if not downright elated.

Ross not so Noble

[kosmasp · 7/10 · 23 September 2012]

I have to admit, I never had heard of the comedian Ross Noble before I watched this movie. And I wouldn't have been that intrigued by him, if I hadn't seen him perform live. Actually that means he opened the Frightfest and introduced Stitches a day later to the audience. The fact that he was talking about his movie made me believe he was the director. He got me fooled (met the real director too, a really nice guy) and maybe some others too.

But back to this movie, that is a real fun little horror movie, that plays with the fear of clowns. Some have a real phobia, those shouldn't watch this movie of course. Or if you are easily offended (be it by violence or nonpolitical correctness) - don't watch. Everyone else: Jump on the the train and have fun during the trip.

Not the Worst Movie I've Ever Seen, But Probably My Least Favorite

[noahgoucher · 1/10 · 3 September 2014]

There is a big difference between the "worst movie" ever and your least favorite. "Stitches" might be a bad movie, but I could hardly call it the worst. It's competently shot, decently acted and the gore effects are pretty well done. If I was judging on a purely objective scale, this film would probably get 3, maybe 4 stars.

However, once you take into account the actual viewing experience, you begin to realize why I gave it this grade. If you like "Stitches", good for you. I won't take that away from you. But for me, personally, it was probably the worst viewing experience I've had in my life.

I'm a fan of a good dark comedy, but it has to be good. "Stitches" isn't funny, and it isn't scary. It's dismal, gross, nasty and all around unpleasant. It's got a wicked mean streak, and it's not remotely funny enough to justify it. I think I laughed once, and it was a weak chuckle at best.

See it for yourself if you'd like, but don't say I didn't warn you.

A weird comedy-horror movie worth watching

[timelesswind · 7/10 · 14 May 2015]

To be honest I didn't expect much when I decided to watch this movie.A cast I hadn't heard of, an irish production and a comedy-horror story involving a killer clown, how good could it be? Well, I liked its cover and I like horror stories a lot so I decided to rent and watch it anyway. The result? I was really surprised about how good and refreshing this movie was. Don't expect to watch a really scary movie though. Stitches has some gory killing scenes but even during those scenes you will probably find yourself laughing (It might scare you a bit if you are not used to watching horror movies but that's it).Yes, the most unique and intriguing point of this movie is its dark, weird and even at times disturbing humor. If you can accept this kind of twisted humor that doesn't take anything seriously you will enjoy this movie a lot like I did. In addition, Stitches has some nice effects and even the killing scenes look decently natural and well-made. The flow is the movie is good and I think it will keep you entertained for its entirety. Another point I liked about this movie is that despite having some sexual content it doesn't really have nudity in it. I have gotten bored of seeing naked women in horror movies just for the sake of fan-service. Of course, it has some bad points too. For instance trying to fit in a love story in the plot was probably a bad choice and there are some common clichés laid here and there but nothing too bad. I think Stitches is a hidden gem and definitely worth watching so give it a try.

Waste of time...

[Kuschelwurm · 1/10 · 26 June 2013]

I love horror movies and I am a little scared of clowns so I was very excited when I saw the trailer. And then I saw the film...

Hard to say how annoying and boring it was! Summary: bad and dead clown kills teenagers who laughed at him and killed him as children by mistake a few years ago at a birthday party. Bad clown comes back, out of his grave, 10 years later and wants revenge. As it happens, there is a party not far for the cemetery! And as it happens, the children who laughed at him are teenager now and on this party. So the bad bad clown comes, finds them and kills them one by one.

Boring, boring, boring! What a waste of time! Read a book instead...

Enjoyed this movie it was a lot of fun...

[lev-nemkin · 7/10 · 26 September 2016]

I really enjoyed Stitches I thought it was a lot of fun an awesome gory comedy and Ross Noble did a great job as the clown I never really knew who he was until I came across and watched this movie I remember seeing the trailer and thinking this might be another stupid killer clown movie but I was wrong it was hilarious to me also the kills were fun to watch. (Spoiler alert) How he died was funny too one of the boys Vinny had tied his shoelaces together and Tom the birthday boy threw a soccer ball at him then he tripped and fell on a kitchen knife in the dishwasher,pulled it out to go for the kids then slipped on blood and the knife flew out of his hand and into his head. I just loved the kills and the jokes he made before he killed one of them off. There ended up being 3 survivors though I won't say who they were. I'd really recommend this for anyone who's a fan of killer clown movies and gory comedies.

Unfunny and Gore Movie with a Terrible Storyline

[claudio_carvalho · 4/10 · 15 May 2014]

The clumsy and unfunny clown Richard "Stitches" Grindle (Ross Noble) goes to the birthday party of little Tom (Tommy Knight) and the boy and his friends play a prank with Stitches, tying his shoelaces. Stitches slips, falls and dies. Six years later, Tom gives a birthday party for his friends at home and the clown revives to haunt the teenagers and revenge his death.

"Stitches" is an unfunny and gore movie with a terrible storyline. I was curious to see an Irish horror movie for the first time, but the result is disappointing, despite the good special effects. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "O Retorno do Palhaço Assassino" ("The Return of the Killer Clown")

Frigg'n HILARIOUS and very entertaining... Blu-ray: Excellent A:9 V:9

[lathe-of-heaven · 8/10 · 7 March 2013]

I just finished watching this and I must admit that I had MANY truly laugh out loud moments. ONLY the UK people can pull off something like this with the DEAD-pan sense of humour it takes to make this work. Sure, some of the comments the clown makes are pretty corny, but there are far more that are REALLY funny!

There are some nice classic Horror touches too. YES, it is a bit gore heavy; but, the effects are well done and very imaginative. I really appreciated the inclusion of the 'Cat' (YES, I love animals, but I love people too, so if you're gonna make a dang Horror film where a bunch of 'teens' are killed, well...) Anyway, back to the nice Horror touches... Gore withstanding (it's almost NEVER my favourite part anyway) the early scenes with the very creative Clown ceremony and mythology were quite entertaining. The guy playing the clown himself was bloody HILARIOUS! His deadpan comments, especially early on before the 'accident' were great!

So, if you DO like entertaining and well done Comedy / Horror, then this is your film. As mentioned by another reviewer, if you are really sensitive about gore effects, then you might want to proceed carefully (For me personally, this kind of 'cartoon' or 'fantasy' gore is all right, although it IS kind of pushing it. What I absolutely do NOT like at all are these 'Torture Porn' films where evil people are just doing horrible, cruel, and mean-spirited things to other people in ULTRA- realistic ways without any fanciful or supernatural context - Those are complete non-starters with me...)

I'd say that if you really liked 'REANIMATOR', you probably would really like this film. Lots of fun if this is your kind of thing...

British teen party montages followed by lots of blood

[cjbad-48614 · 7/10 · 6 May 2017]

This movie is cheap and funny. Lots of mean but funny interactions between characters reminiscent of Return to Sleepaway Camp. A few party montages and even some nipples, see it with your buddies and you'll be quoting for days.

Who knew you needed 10 lines to submit? No respect between friends just like a typical high school crew. Funny. Cliché clown resurrection was brief, back to the party. Good soundtrack.

"Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them." ― Charles Bukowski

really?!!

[killostront · 1/10 · 6 April 2013]

clowns OK we like clowns in good horror movies but there I said it GOOD horror movies. Which I Can't say about stitches. It really is an teenage wannabe creepy movie just like many more NOT SCARY AT ALL, NOT FUNNY NEITHER! ANNOYING IT IS! Please people stop rating such a pathetic movie. Were to start : This movie really really is a waste of time if you want to see an decent horror/thriller. Bad acting, over and over predictable ... About the kills, C'MON pfff really. ps : RoccoRossFox you were totally right with your review!

Movie 1/10

ANNOYINGNESS 10/10 !! WASTE OF TIME 10/10 !!

Entertaining clown slasher...

[gorepump · 7/10 · 8 August 2014]

I really wasn't expecting anything from "Stitches", but to my surprise, it actually turned out to be an immensely entertaining slasher joint out of Ireland.

While putting on a half-assed show for a bunch of misbehaving brats at a birthday party, Stitches the Clown has an unfortunate mishap that results in his bloody accidental demise. Cut to six years later, those same kids are in high school and the birthday boy from the ill-fated party is still haunted by the death of Stitches, especially after having stumbled across a strange clown ritual going on in the cemetery following Stitches' funeral. While the teenage friends are throwing a big drunken house bash, Stitches rises from his grave for revenge...

As far as slasher-comedies go, I rarely see any true effort put into them - especially these days. "Stitches" is actually a pretty refreshing entry in the genre - being clearly of modest budget, yet still managing to come across as a professional looking flick with an unusually likable cast of characters, a reasonably memorable villain and a few instances where the humor actually worked. There's also a few decent and relatively gory deaths, cleverly themed after traditional clown tricks (one guy gets his head inflated like a balloon and popped). The one thing I feel like it could've done without, however, was the clown cult/painted egg thing that I felt didn't quite work and takes ya out of it a little toward the end. Otherwise, this one is definitely a fun way to blow an hour-and-a-half.

More Gorepump horror reviews at http://swinesewage.blogspot.com/

it is what it is....

[georgio-26490 · 7/10 · 28 July 2020]

.....a cheesy fun gore fest! ok the acting is questionable, but how could they be serious with such a daft movie! the sfx are just awful! but i think that was intentional. the story line is fabulous, a great idea.

a childs party is occuring and the children are presented with ross noble as the clown "stitches" , now why any mother would allow such an obviously bad entertainer into her home is beyond belief! the kids wind the clown up and the clown falls on a knife! then 15 years later the clown comes from beyond the grave to wreak havic! YES, it is that stupid! but, boy its fun its one liners and prop based jokes throughout are worth a watch on their own, the blood pours like kool-aid, it probably is kool-aid to be fair! i read a review on here that this will be a cult classic, and i for one agree, it will be for sure. jacksons "bad taste" 1987, well this is the 2012 version, but better!

dont expect to be scared, dont expect to be mesmerized with effects, dont epect no olivier award winning acting, but do expect fun and cringeworthy horror!! deffo worth a watch!!!

Have anything better to do? Do it instead.

[phgrilo · 3/10 · 8 April 2013]

When you begin watching this movies trailer you see that it has been rated "Restricted: Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian"... Well, having seen this movie I definitely think that people over 17 are the ones who will actually be having a hard time watching Stitches.

When I looked this movie up I had in mind the clown character from Spawn. I was expecting blood, gore and some smart humour. Well, there's plenty of the first two, but none of the later.

All you'll get out of this movie is a couple of laughs, nothing more. Its really not all that funny. Very, very predictable and pretty much ridiculous. The plot is absurd and all that goes on serves as a poor excuse for blood, guts and gore.

I could have enjoyed this if I was in my teens, but I'm not. If you are not in your teens as well, this is not the worst movie you'll ever see, but you can definitely find a better thing to do with your time.

Loved it for what it was.

[alexkzapf · 7/10 · 10 March 2022]

Doesn't pretend to be anything than what it is. As such. Punches way above its weight. I thought it was funny. Go into this with the right mind set and you'll enjoy yourself.

Are You Kidding Me

[madelinebelfonte · 1/10 · 23 August 2014]

I truly did not have high expectations for this movie, however, I expected more than I got. This movie is simply ridiculous. This movie is about a clown (named Stitches: SHOCKER) who dies in a freak accident while entertaining at a kid's birthday party. Stitches COMES BACK TO LIFE to terrorize the kid who he believes if the reason he was killed. Did I mention they are in Australia or something? Anyway, this kid, who is mentally disturbed on account of him having witnessed the violent death of a clown as a child, sneaks around to figure out why the clown came back to life or whatever. He basically ends up walking into some ancient clown ritual that involves drawing faces on eggs (don't ask me). Anyway, long story short, this movie includes zombie clowns, Australian children, and ancient clown rituals. 5.7 stars my ass.

Had me in...stitches....

[The_Celluloid_Sage · 7/10 · 6 April 2020]

Stitches (perfectly played by Noble) is a miserable, angry and inept and just plain unfunny clown. One day at a birthday party he is accidentally killed (in a ridiculously funny manner). Years later the repressed Tom (Knight) has another birthday party (kids huh...never learn) and Stitches comes back from the dead (resurrected by the secret clown cult) to wreak havoc on the teenagers and avenge his wrongful death. Guessed where this is going yet? I sure hope so lol.

In some truly hilarious moments, Stitches then proceeds to off, splice, dice and maim the kids in the most crazy and ridiculous ways possible. The humour and gore is in your face, slapstick, dark and just downright crazy. Only Noble could get away with it, and get away with it he does. He is just perfect as the crazed, avenging killer clown.

If you're into your slasher films, especially if you like them comical at the same time, then this is sure to please you. Does it have Oscar-worthy acting, dialogue and effects? No, but it does have a 'killer' script and this low budget Irish film sure is fun! Seek it out and leave your brain at the door.

Admin rating: 7/10

I found it extremely funny

[aelthric · 10/10 · 16 February 2013]

I am sure die hard fans of the horror genre will balk at the effects in this little gem of a comedy but then most die hard horror fans have a pole up their backsides the size of Nelsons Column judging by some of the reviews here at IMDb of other movies...

This is a delightful comedy romp that pokes fun of the horror genre much in the same vein as "Funny Man", even the effects are a parody of horror effects that underlies the difficulties in producing them...

Characterisation is simplistic and yet effective for a comedy (Nobody is expecting the type of characterisation of Anna Karenina in a simple comedy)...

I personally feel that Ross Noble did a good job in playing the slobby and vengeful clown and many of the gags made me laugh out loud, not least the site of him riding a kiddies tricycle...

If you want deep go and watch Anna Karenina or read war and peace but for a comedy this rings all the bells....

British teen party montages followed by lots of blood

[terryldactyl · 7/10 · 13 April 2013]

This movie is cheap and funny. Lots of mean but funny interactions between characters reminiscent of Return to Sleepaway Camp. A few party montages and even some nipples, see it with your buddies and you'll be quoting for days.

Who knew you needed 10 lines to submit? No respect between friends just like a typical high school crew. Funny. Cliché clown resurrection was brief, back to the party. Good soundtrack.

"Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them." ― Charles Bukowski

Worst movie since long unless you're 14 or younger.

[RoccoRossFox · 1/10 · 5 April 2013]

Written for 14 year old's by 14 year old's.(who have no taste) After reading comments about this movie i thought to give it a chance and dam did i waist 90 min of my life. The acting, for so far there was was horrible and the murder scenes were just a joke. Predictable from start to finish but for me the most annoying part came from the inside jokes referring to a recent murder. People who have liked this movie, please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD stop rating movies on this site. People actual decide to watch a movie on behalf of these comments and then to end up with a movie like this is just a letdown.

Acting:1/10 Story: 1/10 Murders: 1/10

Total: 1/10

good comedy

[hr-boege-546-170392 · 7/10 · 1 April 2013]

i sat down and saw this movie with some friends, and we had a fun time. the movie takes a bunch of horror movie clichés and make fun of them, in a funny way. comparing this one to a "scary movie" movie, this one is way better and work as a parody. the effects are cheap and bad, but i think thats on purpose. who haven't seen a horror movie with cheap effects? so thats probably what they were trying to do. i don't really have any negative thing to say about this movie, other that you cant expect too much from the story, because its a bit predictable. but i think that most people will enjoy it, especially if you are watching it with some friends.

Over The Top Fun

[acidburn-10 · 6/10 · 14 June 2013]

Killer clowns is something that we don't see that much off in the slasher genre, which is a shame as they can be quite scary or funny if handled right (It & Killer Clowns From Out Space) are the only ones that come to mind and now we have "Stitches" , a British Slasher flick mixed with comedy, which is somewhat rather tough to get right and doesn't always work, but with this movie I can gladly say that they got right.

Stitches is the name of the clown himself, who starts off as a children's entertainer and is accidentally killed at 10 year old Tommy's birthday party and of course swears revenge on Tommy and his friends and then fast forward 6 years later, Tommy now an awkward teenager still haunted by the freak accident and fears that Stitches will one day come back and kill him, and in true fashion he does come back.

The film moves along at a swift pace which is a good thing firstly when we are introduced to the kids now as teenagers we get the usual hijinks and some gross out humour and then the tone quickly changes and we are of course treated to a variety of creative and fun kills and the gore effects are really great, (that's where all the budget went) but it's money well spent we get exploding head, private parts ripped apart, brain's scouped out with ice cream scoop and a nasty umbrella accident.

But there are some flaws, like the low low budget which shows throughout sadly, and at times this movie seems to switch from one extreme to another one minute a dark comedy and one minute a slasher flick and plus some parts do border beyond stupid, I could have done without the stupid clown nose part which was way too over the top, along with the mystical orgin of clowns part which was again stupid and pointless.

But those flaws set aside "Stitches" was still a fun entertaining ride, the teen cast were disposable but likable although the dialogue could have done with some fine tuning. Ross Nobole as Stitches definitely stole the show displaying comedy and menace at level best. Tommy Knight is also decent enough as the main final boy.

All in all "Stitches" is a fun way to pass the time, and could have been much better if there was more of a budget, and take out some of the stupid parts.

A playful film that doesn't take itself serious

[blamdrum · 5/10 · 12 February 2016]

I really wasn't sure whet to expect from this film, I tend to enjoy foreign films more than huge production American films so I figured I would give it 90 minutes. The story line was surprisingly original with a feel similar to Drop Dead Fred (1991). Goofy and playful, the kill scenes are done with a funny over the top clownish feel. Not realistic but they don't need to be. The puns are at times worthy of Olympic quality eye rolls but as bad as they are, they work somehow. Ross Noble's performance was seemingly stifled, you get the feeling he is capable of more but was constrained. Some of the scenes they chose were both not funny and pointless to the story. Having Stitches beat the family cat to death by slamming it on the wall and some dresser was both not funny and entirely pointless, not to mention disturbing. Although you can tell it's a stuffed animal and not a real cat. By the end of the film, you have given all the eye rolls anyone is capable of given and just want the story to end. The film doesn't take itself too seriously and you have to be in the mood for that because they are very serious about not being too serious. It looks like they had fun making it, and they left the end open to a sequel. So if you are a fan of this kind of film, you may be in luck. Cheers!