Monica4937 Reviews

The Vampire Happening (1971)

An honest opinion

[5/10 · 30 November 2008]

This is the story about a young actress, Betty Williams, who inherits a castle in Transylvania. When she arrives, the caretaker immediately recognizes and shows her the stark resemblance between Betty and her great great grandmother, Clarimonde: who just so happens to be a most feared vampire. During her time in the castle, Betty unknowingly awakens the 'still fresh looking' corpse of Clarimonde deep in the castle vaults and mayhem ensues.

If intelligent and thought provoking is what you are looking for, then you won't find it in The Vampire Happening. This is a movie that garners its charm from the satirical, sex driven jokes found throughout the entire film. You have your senile old man that has a habit of freaking himself out all of the time, an aspiring monk that happens to be a closet nymphomaniac (this becomes comically apparent when he starts seeing visions of sexual display in the form of nature during a walk in the woods.), and last but not least, gratuitous amounts of nudity.

Yes, it's full of bad acting, bad scriptwriting and shoddy direction, but this film still managed to accomplish what I'm sure the filmmakers ultimately intended: it entertained me. I think it's important for any person expressing interest in the horror genre to give movies like The Vampire Happening a chance: there's something to admire in the people who make them.

Silent Hill (2006)

A horror film actually worth your money. Who woulda thunk?

[8/10 · 4 May 2006]

Just saw it this Sat. night with a friend of mine. I hadn't had any preconceived notions about the film because I never read a review of it nor anyones user comments before seeing it. My only prejudice could be based upon the preview, and from that I got a movie that looked to be promising but had the possibility of letting you down. For me it ended up being both. It was very promising in that I actually found myself getting really caught up in the storyline; It succeeded in drawing me out of my reality (knowing I was sitting in a theater watching a screen) and into the fantasy of the story and characters. Yet there were a few parts (most taking place in the beginning of the film, and a couple of times near the end) that had me wincing in pain, and it wasn't because of the gore. Mainly it was just the amateurishness of the acting, particularly of Jodelle. I loved the way she portrayed evil Alessa, but when it came time for her to act scared and frightened as the vulnerable Sharon, I just couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Instead of coming across as such, she more so sounded cheesy and B grade. Other than that I say this is by far one of the better horror films to hit the silver screen in the past 5 yrs. Two thumbs up

Kolobos (1999)

Watch this before My Little Eye!

[7/10 · 5 June 2005]

I have to say this is most definitely a horror gem. When my friend and I were choosing movies to watch on our movie night she decided to rent this one solely based on the description on the back of the cover. Man was this a good decision. For those of you that have already seen My Little Eye and later on watch this film, you will find that MLE is almost like a carbon copy (minus the ending...somewhat). 5 strangers are picked to spend (God knows how many) weeks/months in a house while being video taped 24/7. In MLE it was for a snuff website, in Kolobos it was for a "film". BOTH end up taking a turn for the worse. I really really REALLY enjoyed Kolobos because 1. They offered some fanTASTIC gore effects without all that CGI crap that so many horror films are using now, 2. The storyline is one giant mind fu*k that leaves you sitting there thinking "What the hell just happened? Woah..." (in a good way of course), and 3. The dialog between actors was hilarious. I really enjoyed the one scene where they're watching a cheesy slasher/horror that one of the girls chosen starred in, and one guy is going "This film is crap! How can you watch this bullsh*t." while another guy is sitting there with his eyes glued to the TV going off on some deep, intellectual view of the "crap" movie. . It was truly a funny scene. While I can't say the actual acting was good in this, everything else about it was. Highly recommended! *two thumbs up* 7.5/10

Jack Frost (1997 Video)

Don't you go where Mr. Jack Frost goes...don't you eat his yellow snow.

[5/10 · 5 June 2005]

Alrighty...I've read on here lots of bad reviews about this film...and very few (rare) good reviews. Mine...is neutral. While I have to agree on how just overall "bad" this film was...I can't say that I DIDN'T enjoy it. It's really hard to diss a film that doesn't take itself seriously. I don't think Michael Cooney set out to make a brilliant, blockbuster slasher that stars A+ actors and has the best gore effects (or snowman effects) ever...although I can't say they were bad either. Jack Frost is just a brainless, fun film that doesn't require much from the viewer. It offers inventive ways of killing someone, as well as comedic one liners (mainly from Jack Frost). If you're looking for a harmless, think-free film with cool death scenes then this is a good film to watch. If you're looking for the next Texas Chainsaw Massacre then you're dreamin big dreams with this one. *wink* 5/10

Cube Zero (2004)

The best out of all three! (IMO)

[8/10 · 5 June 2005]

Right away this film does an excellent job of drawing you into the story with it's AMAZING and GHASTLY opening scene. One so gruesome and terrifying that it left me with my jaw dropped to the ground and my friend trying her best not to throw up. Throughout the entire film my eyes were glued to the screen, waiting for whatever trials and tribulations the poor souls trapped inside would have to face. I truly couldn't believe how really well done this film was. Before watching it I had thought it was a sequel to the first two but actually it really is a prequel, a sort of explanation on what the Cube is and the reason behind it's purpose. I think it was cool that Ernie Barbarash wrote this to further explain the already confusing storyline, but I had a problem with the ending and the actors he chose... they didn't match...and that is as far as I will go without creating any spoilers. Overall this film was fantastic, down to every drop of blood spilled. It's safe to say that this is definitely my favorite out of the three. 8/10

Constantine (2005)

"Woah..."

[6/10 · 5 June 2005]

On the whole, this film left me with a "Eh, it was cool, I guess." feeling as I walked out of the theater. We all know Keanu Reeves isn't exactly praised for his acting abilities, unless he's starring in such films pertaining to the Matrix, so it's no surprised that I ended up disliking his performance in this one. More often than not I found myself laughing inside when he would deliver such a line that reminded me of his days as Ted Logan from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures. Despite his lack luster performance, and the occasional bad CGI trip, this film does hold some good. I liked the storyline, I thought Rachel Wiesz was fantastic, and I enjoyed the magic wand containing dragon's breath. (now if only there was a way to get my hands on that...) 6/10

Human Nature (2004 Video)

Good film for student film makers to watch.

[5/10 · 5 June 2005]

When I saw this sitting innocently on the shelf in Hollywood Video I knew right away that it would be another indie film gone terribly wrong, and I was right, but yet not entirely disappointed. IMO everything that was wrong was more technical (ie the sound was awful and sometimes the lighting would be bad) with occasionally a few screw ups by the director and actors. I think this is a good movie for aspiring student directors to watch. I actually thought the acting (mainly that of the lead female being tortured) was good and the effects were surprising...particularly one scene involving a bucket, the lead hookers foot and a hammer...but I don't want to spoil anything so I'll stop there. There were a few plot holes and scenes that didn't make sense with the storyline, but I think if you can forgive them then you will have a decent time watching it. 5/10

Love Me If You Dare (2003)

Game?

[9/10 · 5 June 2005]

Two children start an odd game of outdoing each other with limitless dares and stunts, but as they grow into adulthood their stunts become more dangerous and life threatening. Soon enough they realize that their continuation of the game had been a desperate attempt to hide the fact that they were meant for each other. Right away this film starts off in a dream like state, giving us the sense that we're really watching a school play put on by 4th graders. The mood is very light and playful and goes along with the child like innocence of Julien and Sophie. As the two characters mature so does the directing (for lack of a better phrasing). No longer do we feel like we are in the dream of a 10 year old. Reality settles in and eventually the mood in the film becomes very dark and almost depressing. I loved everything about this movie: the plot, the actors (and the chemistry between them) but most of all the directing. I liked the way Yann changed the mood in the film to match that of the character's ages. 9/10

House of Wax (2005)

Not bad...but not great either.

[6/10 · 5 June 2005]

I was appalled when I first heard they were doing a remake of this classic starring Vincent Price. Then, when I later found out Paris Hilton would be co-starring in it, I proceeded to go to my bathroom and throw up a lung.....no actually, I didn't. But I wanted to Anyways, I made the decision to not bother seeing this in the theater because of how utterly crappy I assumed it would be (call me prejudice, I really don't care). As luck would have it though, my best friends dad received two passes to a preview showing and being the good friend she is, I was asked to come along. Why say no, when I'll be watching this film for free, right? Overall, I found the viewing to be quite pleasant, which is very surprising indeed. I had thought it would be a heavily CGI laden MTV schlock fest with a scene placed in every now and then of Paris Hilton prancing around in her underwear. To my shock, this film actually offers the viewer little to no CGI, cringe inducing surprises, and roughly 25 minutes (if that) of the "famous for being famous" heiress. Granted her last "major" scene WAS in fact of her prancing around in her underwear, but it lasted only about 30 seconds. (thank god) Anyways, I was pleasantly surprised by this movie and am glad I did see it, although I'm also glad I saw it for free. I still maintain I would never pay to see it (really only because prices have skyrocketed recently and I am a poor chica). 6/10

She Lives by Night (2001 Video)

Too many rules broken with this film...

[5/10 · 5 June 2005]

Angela, a vampire, is hit by a car while hitchhiking on the side of the road. This in turn causes her to become amnesiac. Roger, the guy who hit her, offers to let her stay at his place until she regains her memory since she refuses to be checked into a hospital. Throughout the course of her stay they fall in love, but little does Roger know that Angela harbours a dark and deadly secret. There isn't a whole lot to say about this one other than it's pretty average quality and goes against just about every vampire myth there is imaginable. Some of the major contradictions this film contains are: 1. Angela wears a cross necklace, which in the folklore is supposed to burn the vampire's skin if touched. In this case, it does absolutely nothing. 2. When a vampire is exposed to sunlight they immediately catch fire. In this case, Angela merely puts on a pair of sunglasses and 3. She suffers from amnesia...I know that that is what makes the whole film (her being amnesiac and therefore needing someone to care for her) but she's a vampire, and I had always assumed vampires couldn't suffer the same "damages" a normal human can. Ah well, overall it was an OK film, but I wouldn't rush out to the store to get it. 5/10

Conspiracy (2001 TV Movie)

This should be required viewing in all schools!

[9/10 · 5 June 2005]

I had no previous knowledge of the meetings existence (thats American schooling for ya) and was therefore shocked at how the Nazi's came to creating the concentration camps. This is not a film for the faint of heart for it will leave you with not only a bad taste in your mouth (tis true) but also a feeling of disgust and hate. One thing people thinking of renting this movie must understand is that the actors do not perform with German accents. I had a talking with my movie guru and he informed me that they decided against this so that the actual dialog would stand out, being that the whole reason this movie was made was to really show people how nonchalantly the decision to kill 6 million jews was made. If the actors had tried saying their lines with a faux German accent, it would have greatly deterred the viewer from any real understanding of what exactly was going on since they would have been more focused on how well the actor manages the accent. I think everyone should see this movie, including children, because it is simple proof that world peace will never happen (at least as long as people like Reinhard Heydrich and Adolf Eichmann still exist in the world). 9/10

The Last Broadcast (1998)

I prefer Blair Witch over this.

[4/10 · 5 June 2005]

The difference between this film and The Blair Witch Project is simply, this one gives us the 'horror of what happened to the filmmakers' from a different perspective. Rather than us going along on the journey with them, we are given collective interviews from different people in the style of another episode of VH1's Driven...shows. While I do have respect for what the creators of this movie accomplished, I still hold stronger feelings towards The Blair Witch Project. I suppose I just enjoy going along on the ride more so than having the story be given to me through the eyes of the documentarian covering the deaths of the filmmakers, although the ending does give us a rather splendid surprise. 4/10

Coffee and Cigarettes (2003)

"Coffee and cigarettes? Is that all you're having for lunch?"

[7/10 · 5 June 2005]

I think what is most fascinating about this movie is that it was shot in the span of 17 yrs! According to IMDb trivia, the first short we are given, between Roberto Benigni and Steven Wright, was filmed in 1987. I sort of wonder why Jim Barusch took so long to make it. Granted I don't know anything at all about him and his work, so I'm sure someone else that actually is a big fan would be able to explain this to me. Indeed this is a unique piece that really doesn't have any plot what so ever, other than the fact that all of these stories are tied together by coffee and cigarettes. I also find it funny that in every short someone eventually makes the comment "Coffee and cigarettes for lunch? Is that all you're having? That's not very healthy." Perhaps Jim was trying to send out a message that those who enjoy coffee and cigarettes should try and have something a bit more substantial. Yet we are then given the response "I ate something earlier, remember?" Ah well...there is no arguing with these sort of people I suppose. Overall this movie really isn't for everyone because it's not a film with any plot, point or conclusion... and also Steve Buscemi's role was very minor...disappointing indeed. :P 7/10

The Misfits (1961)

One of Marilyn's best performances.

[8/10 · 5 June 2005]

Marilyn Monroe once made the comment that she hated working on this set because it was more so a guy film and the egos were too much for her, safe to say I can honestly see why she felt that way. At first the movie is centered around her character making you believe it's about her and her troubles, then slowly but surely it drifts to Clark Gables character and ends up really being about his battles. As much as I really enjoyed this film, I can't help but feel that Arthur Miller created the role of Roslyn Taber with the influence of Marilyn's life; Her dialog throughout the movie really sounded like a reflection of her childhood troubles and tragedies. There's a specific part in the casino where she talks about her mother and how she misses her yet she never really saw her growing up, and in truth this is exactly how Marilyn's life was growing up; I can only imagine what went through her mind as she had to say these lines. All in all this was a brilliant film with an outstanding cast and a wonderful storyline. 8/10

The Howling (1981)

My least favourite of the werewolf films.

[5/10 · 5 June 2005]

Right, well I am not the biggest werewolf lover, so it really is of no surprise when I found myself not caring much for this film after I viewed it. I had thought the effects were a bit funny at times and the pacing of the film was too slow for me. I found myself losing interest fast and was surprised I really made it to the end. However, after having a chat with a friend of mine, he had informed me that the effects were done by an understudy because Rick Baker had gone off to do An American Werewolf in London (now THAT is a good film). So upon learning this I have a little more appreciation for them...but I still find them to have been funny at times. If you love werewolves then most likely you will like this film because it offers an interesting take on the "monster", but if you are like me and don't really care much, then I wouldn't rush myself into seeing it. 5.5/10

Audition (1999)

"Deeper deeper...deeper deeper..."

[9/10 · 5 June 2005]

I really really really liked this film, more so than Tale of Two Sisters, because it played out so beautifully, like a properly strung violin. I think what made me like this film most was Eihi Shiina's character. When the movie first starts, you are introduced to this lovely, soft spoken girl that, on the outside, seems like a delicate dove who wouldn't be able to even hurt a fly, but half way through the film you are introduced to this dark side of her that you would have never thought existed. I really liked how the director chose to have her wear white throughout the film, considering white symbolizes virginity, purity, and healing: everything that she isn't. Highly recommended, go out now and see this treasure! 8.5/10

The Amityville Horror (2005)

I'm still waiting to see Amityvile House vs Hell House.

[3/10 · 5 June 2005]

In all honesty, I think this film was rather confused. When it first started I felt like we were sitting through some sort of satire of the original...Ryan Reynolds is too much of a comedian so I had a hard time believing a lot of his "serious" delivery of lines. Then in the middle I thought I was watching a really bad Britney Spears music video (A 16 yr old scantily clad babysitter asking a 12 yr old if he's ever french kissed??), and finally towards the end I thought it was another remake of 13 Ghosts. Yes...if you liked the original then it is safe to say you will hate this film like me. Don't bother going to the theater to see it, or even waste the $4.00 rental fee to rent it. Wait till it airs on TBS about 3 yrs from now at 8 o'clock at night...trust me...you will appreciate the warning. 3.5/10

Marie Antoinette (1938)

Norma at her best!

[10/10 · 5 June 2005]

I was delighted to see this at the rental store because I absolutely adore Norma Shearer and had yet to see this piece of work. Overall it was very nice, with extravagant costumes (This must have been high up on Liberace's top 100 list), good acting, and fantastic directing. The only thing I have a major problem with is the fact that the director tried to cram in too much of her life into the span of only 2 and a half hours. You first start the movie with Marie Antoinette finding out she is to be married to Louis the XVI, then during the film so much goes on that you sort of have a hard time keeping up with how much time has past in her life, until finally you get to the crucial part in the film where her and her husband are to be executed. I don't know much about her life so I honestly have no idea how much they left out, but as a regular film watcher, I found this piece to be just wonderful. Norma Shearer did such a great job near the end, when she was about to be beheaded. When Count Axel de Fersen comes down the stairs into her dungeon to bid her a final fairwell, you really get the feeling that she is just completely drained with all emotion by the simple look in her eyes. I must admit to shedding some tears during that scene. Another highly recommended film. 8/10

The Amityville Horror (1979)

Under-appreciated indeed!

[6/10 · 5 June 2005]

I like this film because it creates a subtle setting of discomfort and uneasiness without over stimulating the viewer. Compared to Legend of Hell House, Amityville more so takes it's time to scare the viewer by building up the anticipation of whats going to happen to the family. During the film you are given small doses of paranormal activity that eventually lead to the rather "gory" ending (IE the blood starting to spill from the walls and stairs) which only causes the family to leave the house for good without so much as a care in the world to retrieve their belongings; The evil in the house did that good of a job at scaring them. I like Amityville Horror and will continue to recommend it to those wanting a good "based on a true story" ghost film. 6.5/10

Taking Lives (2004)

This movie isn't even worth 10 paragraphs long reviews! geez...

[5/10 · 5 June 2005]

As much as I am a fan of Angelina Jolie, I have to say this movie gets a big fat YAWN from me. I think all the hype around it only led to the rather large disappointment I suffered after watching this movie. All I kept hearing was how different and violent and shocking it was (sort of like the hype I received about Last House on the Left), yet all I got was a slow paced, not-so-greatly-acted, predictable film...with the occasional tension and suspense. (sort of like the conclusion I came to about Last House on the Left) Even the gore didn't impress me...if I can even remember those particular scenes...see? Not a good film...but better than Darkness or They...or that bloody House by the Cemetery. 5.5/10

The Life of David Gale (2003)

Is capital punishment right?

[8/10 · 5 June 2005]

Should we put to death those that are found guilty of murder despite the fact that there is a very good chance that person is innocent? The Life of David Gale is such a great film because it is one that makes you think about yourself, what you believe in, what others believe in...and what the person holding the switch to the electric chair believes in. I, personally, think capital punishment is wrong. Sure the bible says an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth (at least thats what I'm told. I, however, have not memorized the bible so for all I know this is just more crap people try to feed me), but is justice really being served when we sink to the same level as these murderers by putting them to death? Who are we to decide who lives or dies? That is the question I think everyone should be asking themselves before deciding what belief they want to fight for. 8/10

American History X (1998)

A must see for everyone!

[9/10 · 5 June 2005]

I think racism will forever be an issue amongst us human beings, one that won't stop until every last one of us is dead. It is such a big world we live in, that I just don't understand how there could possibly be so much hatred between us. Why do we have to fight like this? Why does color of skin or the look of eyes matter so much? Why can't we all just frickin get along? I know things will never change amongst the living, which is something that pains me because I want to have kids some day...but what sort of world will I be bringing them into? This film does such an amazing job of giving us a reality check on just how compassionate we really are for one another...which isn't a whole lot to be frank. Thank you Snake for highly recommending this to me. 9/10

My Little Eye (2002)

My little rip off of Kolobos. *wink*

[7/10 · 5 June 2005]

This is an interesting film about 5 people selected to live 6 months in someones house while their every move is video taped and broadcast live on the internet...or so they think. I remember a little while back someone mentioning this film, so I was happy when it aired on digital cable. At first I was a bit hesitant at how good this would be considering the female lead was played by Laura Reagn of They fame, a film that had me completely unimpressed with her acting skills. But I must admit to actually liking her in this. I also liked the use of the night vision camera, which, for me, added to the suspense of the film. Perhaps they could have used it a little bit less towards the end though because I almost felt like I was about to see Paris Hilton pop up on screen. Overall I'd say this is a pretty decent suspense/horror that plays well with our minds and gives us a subtle, creepy atmosphere. 7.5/10

SubUrbia (1996)

Why don't you swallow your cock and choke on it.

[9/10 · 5 June 2005]

I've always been a fan of Giovanni Ribisi, and seeing this film really made me realize why I like him so much. His performance is just amazing. This is a film based off a play by Eric Bogosian, which centers around a group of friends that pretty much spend their days and nights hanging out in the parking lot of a convenience store, drinking away their future. One friend in particular had broken away to become a successful pop star which only stirs up jealous feelings from his former childhood buddies upon his return. On a whole I think this film really offers something for those that are interested in movies that are intellectually stimulating. There isn't a whole lot of action, and the entire movie pretty much takes place at the convenience store, but for what it lacks in scenery and "effects" it makes up for in dialog and acting. 9/10

Horror Express (1972)

Nothing to special here.

[5/10 · 5 June 2005]

I sat down watching this with very little expectations in my mind, which was a good thing considering how rather average it is. While the rest of the actors in the film were a bit amateurish and cheesy, the delivery of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing most definitely made this film watchable. Too bad they didn't give Peter Cushing more lines, as I rather quite enjoyed his performance. My favorite line of his being "Monsters? We're British!". As far as effects go, it's really hard to decide my true feelings. Some were good, but I'm really only referring to the scenes that showed a part of the monster. Those that showed the thing in it's full glory were utterly ridiculous. Overall, this is definitely not a must see film for horror fans; being that it contains a rather muddled down script, sporadic moments of good effects and only two great actors. 5/10