MyMovies: Ben's Movies

*1/2 Same as the original, except with worse writing and characterization.

**** Eleven jurors try to convince a twelfth to vote "guilty" on a murder case. As they argue, more jurors start to consider the possibility of the suspect's innocence. A complete triumph. Creates more excitement than every Michael Bay movie combined despite involving nothing more than oral debate in a single room. All twelve jurors are brilliantly acted and include such veterans as Henry Fonda and Lee J. Cobb. The writing is astounding, and three or four moments are guaranteed bring tears to your eyes. An absolute must-see. On my all-time top ten list.

***1/2 An old-fashioned adventure done exceptionally well. The special effects (the giant squid fight in particular) hold up well, proving that you don't need a constant bombardment of over-the-top CGI to make an exciting movie. Silly, but enjoyably so.

***1/2 Takes a "what it" twilight-zone like scenario and delivers the goods. Cillian Murphy awakes to find everyone in Britain gone and then encounters "the infected", essentially fast, bloody, raging zombies. Eventually he and several other survivors team up to find a military base. One of the best zombie movies ever made mainly because of two things: the fully-developed and believable characters and the completely convincing setting. The result is frightening deep down; it's not a movie of zombies jumping out at you but one of an atmosphere of suspense. The final act is a step down (the motivation of the soldiers doesn't make any sense if you think about it), but still good, with great music.

**1/2 One of the most lopsided movies ever made in terms of quality. From the devastating opening sequence (possibly the most intense scene ever filmed), the first half is on the level of near-classic. The characters are strong, particularly Jeremy Renner as a heroic soldier and child actors Imogen Poots and Mackintosh Muggleton. The actual outbreak, though absurd, is well-choreographed to a chilling, blood-curdling soundtrack. When the bombs start falling, though, everything that worked quickly dies with a vengeance. The character development ceases, and we're forced to watch the cast fight their way through increasingly absurd situations. Common sense is abandoned, and the movie simply becomes mean-spirited. The climax in the London underground, despite being having a great premise, falls completely flat. The final shots feel like a slap in the face. My advice: stop watching halfway through.

* Three little kids fight a lot. Average if you're an eight year old boy, otherwise one of the most unintentionally funny movies ever made. Completely devoid of thought or meaning. Accomplishes little more than teaching that violence will solve your problems.

**1/2 A bloody, cartoonishly stylized rendition of the battle of Thermopylae. The Spartans, all insanely well-built, grunt loud catchphrases and decapitate Persians. The action scenes are quite good, but the movie is empty at its core, leaving the viewer kind of sickened and exhausted by the end.

*** An extremely fast-paced western action movie benefitting from a strong running dialogue between gang leader Russell Crowe and soldier-turned-farmer Christian Bale, who relentlessly sticks by the law for no apparent reason.

* Low budget horror flick. Ponderous and forgettable.

***1/2 A charming film that never makes it clear whether the title refers to Hugh Grant's pathetic playboy or Nicholas Hoult's outcast middle schooler. Sharon Small is the Hoult's single mother (Grant's new obsession because they're all so desperate). Turns the rules of genre upside down, particularly in the "will he make it the boy's talent show" ending. Alternately amusing and emotionally affecting, with a strong central cast.

**1/2 An aged Jack Nicholson takes a road trip after his wife's death and before his daughter's wedding with a redneck. Along the way he encounters plenty of interesting characters, including Kathy Bates in an oscar-nominated role. All too believable, to the point that Nicholson's character, a twitchy, sad old man, becomes rather irritable and the movie smug and depressing. Nicholson plays the part appropriately (he also received a nomination).

** Carrey's pet detective returns to investigate the disappearance of a sacred tribal animal in Africa. Hilarious at first, but the jokes soon become racist and lame. Carrey snivels, contorts his face, and makes fart noises with his hands. Little kids may find it enjoyable.

***1/2 Nicholas Cage plays twin brothers, one happy and one miserable. The miserable one is trying to adapt novel to the screen while observing the lives of drug addicts Meryl Street and Chris Cooper (who won an oscar for his role). Charlie Kaufman's writes with inspired spark, and the film is only unpredictable. The actors are up to the challenge, and it's a pleasure to watch.

** A cute golden retriever (is their any other kind?) proves to be a basketball star. Completely absurd, with bland human characters and a rather disturbing subplot involving a wretched clown that belongs in a different movie. As these movies go it's OK.

* The athletically talented golden retriever takes on volleyball. Two crooks try to capture the dog in increasingly poorly-filmed scenes. In an attempt to be politically correct there's an Asian boy on the team who smiles a lot and has no lines. Mindless, empty, formulaic, and boring.

**1/2 Harrison Ford plays a President we can all support. As a war veteran, he puts his skills to god use when six terrorists (led by a delightfully menacing Gary Oldman) take over Air Force One. As in Das Boot, Peterson utilizes the small space effectively as Ford fights back and yells "Get off my plane!" Completely absurd, and hurt a bit by a boring b-story at the White House, but a fun ride.

**1/2 A near-repeat of the original, except this time in space. The first fifteen minutes or so are quite funny, as are the last (featuring William Shatner as the moon base commander), but the central segments are hit-and-miss. Not bad, but a step down from the original.

*** A spoof of airplane disaster movies. Robert Hayes must safely land a plane after the crew and many passengers face death from food poisoning. Absolutely hilarious the first few times you see it; the gags are truly nonstop, though not without some flops. Nielson has his first comedic role.

*** A small crew of a large spaceship face an acidic, carnivorous creature. Startling at times, and occasionally scary, but nonetheless not the classic many size it up to be. Weaver stands out in a solid cast.

* Intentionally cheesy Bruce Campbell flick. He returns to home after spending years in space to find the planet overrun by giant bugs, eventually leading a very bloody rebellion. Gross and only for die-hard fans of bad Bruce Campbell movies (you know who you are).

** James Caan plays a tough detective reluctantly partnered with the first detective "newcomer" (Mandy Patinkin), a mostly peaceful race of enslaved aliens who crash on earth and assimilate into society. Aside from the premise, it's a surprisingly standard cop-action movie, with routine action and character work.

** In one of the worst decisions in filmmaking history, the ship form the end of "Aliens" crashes, killing everyone (including Biehn, who FINALY survived a good movie) except for Ripley. Weaver is forced to wait on a prison colony for another ship to pick her up while an alien picks off inmates and monkish guards alike. Stylistically, the sets and lighting are eerie and cool, but the characters (besides a terrific Weaver) are forgettable, even indistinguishable, and the digital special effects sometimes quite bad.

**** One of the best science fiction movies ever made. Ripley wakes up fifty years later and eventually returns to the alien's planet with a unit of elite, heavily armed commandos. All hell breaks loose, and once the action starts the pacing never lets up. James Cameron films with a fury, and everything clicks. Weaver (oscar-nominated) is tremendous, and the supporting cast (especially Henrikson, Biehn, Goldstein, and Paxton) shines.

** An alligator chomps on people in Chicago while the police department tries to find a way to kill it. Not scary or memorable but fun enough for genre fans. A cult classic.

** Scooby and gang go to Hawaii and encounter the Wiki-Tiki (not a telletuby). Colorful but not very interesting; basically a long episode of the series.